How do you deal with your weaknesses?

Some people try to hide their weaknesses from themselves and from others.

You might resist acknowledging your weakness altogether.

However, hiding from your weaknesses doesn’t make them disappear. It certainly doesn’t grow your self-awareness.

What would happen if you deliberately looked at your weaknesses and embraced them? Would that change how you show up in the world?

Is it possible that you could even enjoy your weaknesses?

In this episode, I break down the ways we typically deal with our weaknesses and the impacts of those decisions. Discover what could happen when you bring awareness to your weaknesses and embrace them.

Plus, in this week’s Examples of Awesome segment, Master Certified Style Coach Judith Gaton interviews Master Certified Marriage and Relationship Coach Maggie Reyes on cultivating “sexy bestie” energy in your relationship, and much more.

Ready to Create Your Work for the World? Join me this August 2023, for a month-long workshop on just that. Click here for all the details and to sign up. I can’t wait to do this work with you!

What you will discover

  • The ways most of us deal with our weaknesses.
  • What happens when you resist your weaknesses.
  • How to embrace your weaknesses.
  • Why you don’t have to improve your weaknesses if you don’t want to.
  • Why Maggie recommends finding “bestie energy” in your relationship.
  • The difference between gratitude and acknowledgment.

Featured on the show

Episode Transcript

You are listening to The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo episode 484.

Welcome to The Life Coach School Podcast, where it’s all about real clients, real problems and real coaching. And now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.

Hey, beautiful friends, how is your summer? How is everyone doing? I hope you’re having the best summer. I hope you’re having the best life. I hope you’re enjoying what it means to be alive. Truly, truly, that is what I hope.

I’m currently at the Montage Resort in Healdsburg and I am on my way to Lake Tahoe. And we stopped here along the drive from Sausalito to spend a few days to work, to go to the spa, to sit by the pool, but mostly, if we’re being honest, to play some pickleball.

They have pickleball courts here and so we've just been having such an amazing time. This is a gorgeous resort. Highly, highly, highly recommend that you come and check this out. It’s just beautiful, the service is awesome. We leave today to drive up for the weekend to Lake Tahoe.

Every year, I do my birthday since I was a kid in Lake Tahoe. And the whole crew is coming. My kids, all of their friends, and Tonya, and Kris Plachy hopefully is going to come up. She lives really close by there. And we are going to go on the boat and go out to dinners and hang out, and mostly play pickleball.

Actually, Christian, my son will be playing a lot of golf. Then we leave from there and go watch Christian play golf in Chicago. So I'm very much looking forward to that.

So today, I wanted to talk to you about the wonderful, exciting topic of weakness. And I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be self-aware and what it means to understand who you are and your interaction with other people, with the world, with your life, and what that includes.

And I believe one of the most important pieces of true self-awareness is understanding all the components of what it means to be you, including the positive, including the negative. And I’ve talked a lot before about embracing the good and bad within yourself, but I haven’t talked directly about weakness, which is I think when people identity weakness within themselves, they would identify that in a negative way.

And so I want to give you some alternative ways to think about your own weaknesses in a way that helps increase your self-awareness and therefore, increase your effectiveness in the world. And what I mean by effectiveness is you showing up the way you choose to deliberately show up, and not in a way that is conditioned from your childhood or in a way that is unconscious, that you haven’t thought through.

And most importantly, I want to help you not to be afraid of your weaknesses. I want to teach you to truly not be afraid of your own weaknesses. So let’s talk a little bit about how most of us deal with our weakness if we’re not being self-aware, if we’re not being conscious, if we’re not really paying attention.

And I think one of the first ways that we do this is by projecting our weaknesses onto other people. Now, projection is a fascinating topic. I can’t go completely into all of the aspects of it but basically what projection means is if you have something that is within you that you aren’t aware of, or you aren’t paying attention to, or you don’t acknowledge, you’ll project that weakness, you’ll see it in someone else and you’ll project it onto them and acknowledge it in them instead of in yourself.

And this causes all sorts of trouble in your relationships and it does not help with self-awareness because although you recognize it in someone else and you call it out in someone else, you aren’t ever going to be able to change it if you can’t see it in your own self. And you will think that the experience of it is because of another person instead of the experience being your own.

And one of the things you’ve heard me talk about all the time on this podcast is that in order to change yourself, you have to acknowledge it inside of you. That’s what develops the authority. And that is what allows for self-awareness and change.

The second thing that many of us do when it comes to our weakness is we resist it and we push it away and we rail against it. And it causes a lot of unnecessary buffering and a lot of unnecessary denial of who we truly are. And the way that I see this manifest in most of my clients is in meanness.

There’s a lot of self-sabotage, but it’s also a lot of actual being mean to yourself and beating yourself up. And think about this; when you take your own experience or even someone else’s experience of weakness and you beat them up for it, it makes it so you want to acknowledge it less. It makes it so you want to hide it more.

It makes it so you want to resist it more, which perpetuates a cycle of more weakness because think about how you feel when you’re beat up and there’s no one that’s going to be better at beating you up emotionally than you because you know all your secrets.

So if you’re trying to resist your own weakness and one of the ways that you’re doing that is by beating yourself up and being mean to yourself, you’re never going to be able to use that self-awareness to change, to live the life of effectiveness.

The third thing that a lot of us do is we confront our weaknesses. We see them show up in our lives and we say, “No, no, no, we need to fix this, this can’t happen to me, I don’t want to be weak at all.” And so we take whatever weakness that is, maybe it’s something that we are struggling with understanding in our own life, maybe we don’t want to stand up in front of a group of people, maybe we can’t handle any sort of criticism, maybe we procrastinate all the time.

We see all of this as weakness in our own selves. And instead of looking at it and analyzing it and questioning it, we just confront it and we use willpower and we rail against ourselves with it.

A fourth thing that many of us will do with our own weaknesses is we will try to hide them. We will tuck them away and not even acknowledge them to ourselves or acknowledge them to anyone else in our lives, and we will avoid situations where they might come up.

And so when we do this, when we are hiding from our own weakness, when we aren’t showing it to anyone else, a lot of times we can perpetuate our own shame. And weakness and shame love each other. They love to be hidden because what happens is there is no opportunity to create any evidence against it and there’s also no opportunity to see that it’s totally fine that we have weakness. It’s not a problem. It’s not something that needs to be hidden from the world. It’s part of our own life. It’s part of humanness.

One of my examples of this would have been my shame over not being able to control my eating, which I saw as a tremendous weakness in my own life. I looked around at other people and I felt like they all had complete control over themselves.

They could manage their eating, they could stop eating when they were full, they could have a plate of food and go halfway through a sandwich, and to me, I literally felt like I could not do that. And so I never really talked about it with anyone, I never really explored it. I just hid it from the world, which of course, perpetuated it tremendously.

Because in retrospect, I was able to see that just by looking at it and acknowledging it and not hiding it, I was able to understand it and get some authority over it and realize that the weakness of not being able to control myself around food was really more a weakness of not being able to feel my feelings because I’d never been taught how.

And so those hidden areas in our lives where we perpetuate shame and perpetuate our own weakness by thinking there’s something wrong with us and something bad with us is another way where we end up being intimidated by our own humanness and trying to be better than we are and trying to be more perfect than we are.

So the question becomes how do we deal with our weakness? Or what are some opportunities or some options that we can consider when it comes to really exploring weakness?

I, of course, went to the Googles to see, what are weaknesses that people would use to describe their own weaknesses? And there was a list on Psychology Today that I thought was interesting. Poor discipline, low ambition, poor social skills, being less smart than you’d prefer, not understanding certain concepts well, like finances, low extraversion, and low adventurousness.

I, of course, want you to hear that this is completely subjective. These are opinions that strengths are better and we should be a certain way, and then therefore that is a strength. But I think an interesting way to look at weakness is it’s an area where maybe you want to be stronger.

And if you could look at it in a positive way like that, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re going to work on getting stronger, and I’ll talk more about that later. But it’s an area where you wish you were stronger and you’re not, and so you’re acknowledging that as a weakness and here are some options to consider of how you can do that.

And I want to recommend that you try to embrace weakness. One of the most powerful tools that I’ve ever developed in my own psyche, in my own mental frameworks is the ability to accept and embrace what is in the world, in my life, and in myself without trying to argue with it, without trying to confront it, resist it, project it, or hide it.

And I think this strategy is very powerful when it comes to our own weaknesses. And so when you embrace it - and think about what an embrace is. When you embrace it, you can connect with it, you can understand it, you can have compassion for it, and you can lead yourself into the next step, which is really exploring it.

And exploring it is really an opportunity to take a look at it, to truly see it. It’s like you open up the door and you walk in and you look around. You see it and you smell it and you listen for it and you touch it. And you go to all the corners of it and you see it. And you ask curious questions about it, and you ponder it, and you allow it to be there in your presence as part of you.

And embracing it really looks like this is an ingredient that is supposed to be part of the recipe that is me. I am not supposed to be all strong all the time. I am not supposed to be all perfect execution, excellence all the time. There is the other side of me, the other 50:50 that includes the negative part where that includes weaknesses and includes areas where I’m not strong and includes areas where I’m not up to par.

Now, a lot of people I think misinterpret softness with weakness. And that is not what I’m referring to here. When I speak about weakness, I’m talking about an area where you’re not as effective, efficient, strong as you want to be, or in relation to the world as you see it, yourself as you want to see yourself. That’s what I’m talking about here.

So when we start to really embrace and explore our own weaknesses, we get to have the opportunity not only to get to know ourselves and to accept ourselves and to appreciate ourselves in all of the ways that we are ourselves. We also can decide at that time whether or not to try and change that part of ourselves, to improve that part of ourselves to get stronger.

And this is the part where I really want to suggest that it’s not necessary to constantly try to improve yourself, to be better. Years ago, I remember reading a quote. I think it was from Hafez or something. And it said, “You don’t have to be better than you are.” And when I heard this quote, I had this immediate sense of relief, this immediate sense of calm, immediate sense of connection to myself just from that one thought, that one sentence.

Because in my life, I’d always been, “Got to get better, got to improve, got to be better, got to improve, get rid of the weakness, be strong all the time.” And when I kind of gave myself permission in that moment to just be who I am and not to try and be better than I am on some measure of strength or success, but just to be who I am, there was so much peace in that.

And so as you kind of question your own weakness and explore it, I want to suggest that maybe you don’t confront it. And maybe you don’t try to improve it. And if you use your weakness as an opportunity for self-awareness and self-compassion, you actually will be making yourself stronger; not in spite of your weakness but because of it.

Because you’re able to see it in a way that creates acceptance and love and self-awareness in your own life, instead of hiding it, projecting it, resisting it, or confronting it and changing it and making lists of how you can improve it. But just being with it as an ingredient, as part of your life, not as an exception, not as a detriment, but as something that is supposed to be the way that it is, that is supposed to be part of that, which is you.

So the other side of that could be that you do decide that you want to change it and you do decide that you want to work on it. And again, I recommend that you, at first, don’t try to change it. But if you decide that you want to, you want to get stronger in a certain area, you want to develop skills in a certain area, you want to change that part of yourself.

Maybe one of your weaknesses is that you don’t have a lot of self-control when it comes to your own anger, let’s say. You have a hard time not yelling at people. That may be one of the areas where you want to improve and get stronger in that area.

And even though that seems like a very negative thing because it has a negative impact on other people if you’re yelling at them constantly, I want you to give yourself pause before you try and change it and just embrace that dark side of yourself first. It will make it so much easier for you to ultimately change to have authority over yourself, and then make the decision to change it.

Now, changing a weakness, changing something like that from love and compassion and understanding will be way more effective and way more immediate than beating yourself up over your own weakness. If you are trying to strengthen yourself in an area, compassion always will win over meanness, always.

If you see your weakness as something that needs to be confronted and be treated aggressively, you will resist and react and project. If you see your weakness as something to embrace and explore and be curious about, and then change with compassion and love as part of the human experience, the amount of time it will take you to change will shorten dramatically.

And finally, one of the things I want to suggest that maybe you could explore, that maybe would be a trip and a cognitive switch for your own brain is to enjoy your weakness. And one of the ways - I’ll tell you how I do this. One of the ways that I enjoy my weakness is by delegating it to someone strong in that area and not having to do it. And here’s why it’s so enjoyable.

When we try and do things where we are weak and we confront our own weaknesses and we try and improve it, it takes a lot of mental energy and it takes a lot of focus, it takes a lot of consciousness, it takes a lot of time. And if we’re trying to be better than we are and we’re spending all this time working on our weaknesses, it’s harder to enjoy ourselves.

And so one of the options that we have after we’ve explored it, after we’ve looked at it is to delegate that area to somebody else and not worry about it, not work on it. If you are terrible at numbers, it’s a weakness that you have because it just doesn’t come naturally to you and you haven’t worked on it for a long time and it’s a skill that wasn’t important to you, you can, and I want to give you all permission to do this, have someone else do it.

Have an accountant or a bookkeeper do all your own personal finances. Just have them handle all of it. And that is one of the ways where you can end up enjoying your weakness and having the effectiveness and having the strength in your own life.

Now of course, many of us can't delegate every single one of our weaknesses and we don’t need to. But it is one of those areas where if it is possible for you, you can create a situation where maybe you’re trading with someone, or maybe you’re paying someone in order to manage that area where they are strong and maybe you aren’t.

And one of my teachers, Dan Sullivan, taught me this as it applies to business, as it applies to really making sure that you hire everyone to spend the most time on their strengths, on their unique abilities, the things that are their natural given or developed strength areas so they’re not spending a lot of time having to work on their own weaknesses.

And by understanding what your weaknesses are and not using them against yourself, but using them for yourself, you are going to enjoy your life so much more. So as you go through your next couple days, your next couple weeks, spend some time telling yourself the truth.

Where do you see yourself as weak? Where do you resist your weaknesses or project them or confront them aggressively or hide them? And what would it be like for you to explore them, accept them, embrace them, delegate them, and maybe my friends, even just enjoy them.

Here’s to enjoying where we’re weak with no apology. Have a gorgeous week everyone, I’ll talk to you next week. Bye-bye.

Hey wait, don’t go. I have another Example of Awesome starting right now. Enjoy.

Judith: Hello, hello. Welcome back to a special guest podcast appearance on The Life Coach School Podcast. I’m hosting this particular interview, my name is Judith Gaton, Master Certified Coach and style coach for high-achieving women. I have an amazing guest for you today. She’s near and dear to my heart, Maggie Reyes. I’m going to let her introduce herself. Maggie, take it away.

Maggie: Hi Judith, I am proud and delighted to say I’m also a Master Certified Coach with The Life Coach School. Woo-hoo. My name is Maggie Reyes, I am a marriage coach and I help Type-A women have better marriages.

Judith: I love the Type-A nuance there. How did you come to specifically coach Type-A women on their marriages?

Maggie: So some things happen intentionally in life and some things happen organically in life, and I really did an analysis of what all the clients I worked with had in common, and I found this pattern. And of course, I coach basically myself and other people.

So I always say if your checklists have checklists, if you’re the type of person who will write something down after you already did it for the dopamine hit of crossing it out, that’s my person. I can help you. Hi.

Judith: I feel so seen. But how did you come into the marriage coaching gig? I love that you found your people organically, but just marriage coaching in general because it’s not for the faint of heart.

Maggie: So this is kind of a fun thing of Life Coach School history. I’m the class of 2012 and I was the first marriage coach ever. There’s lots of us now within the LCS world and I’m very proud that I was the very first one. And what happened was I had a coach named Christine Kane who brought Brooke Castillo as her guest speaker to one of her events, and that’s my first experience of Brooke was live teaching the Model. It was amazing.

I was like, “Who is this woman and her fabulous boots?” She had fabulous boots, even back then. And one of the coaching questions Christine gave us is what could you talk about and never get bored of? And literally, that’s how I decided and from the moment that I went into coach training, it was with the intention of talking about relationships and marriage. That was my focus from day one and here we are, many years later, and I’m still not bored of it.

Judith: You know, I’m going to ask you some fairly personal questions but I know you’re down. So were good - and I’m going to just say good for lack of a better word right now - good, solid marriages modeled for you or?

Maggie: No, they were not.

Judith: Tell me about that.

Maggie: So my parents were divorced when I was growing up and I knew people obviously that were married but I didn’t know anyone who had a marriage that I would want to have in the way that they interacted with each other and the way that they made decisions and the way that I just saw them. It was nothing that I aspired to.

And until much older, until I was an adult and I met a friend of mine who married her high school sweetheart and I was like, “Oh, they’re really friends. They really get along. I like that. If my marriage could be like that, that’s what I would want.” So it was not modeled for me at all.

Judith: How long have you been married? Just let the folks know.

Maggie: So as we record this, 15 years. This year will be my 16th anniversary.

Judith: Okay. So this was not modeled for you but it was something you were passionate about. How did you become passionate about marriage that you could want to talk about it for forever and never get bored?

Maggie: So when I went into coach training, I think I had been married maybe two or three years at that time. And I knew that I wanted to thrive in my relationship and that was really important to me. So when we were dating, we did a bunch of workshops and we read books and we did a bunch of things.

And when I sat down to say, “Well, what do I want to focus on?” I had to piece all these things together, wouldn’t it be cool if somebody just taught you from A to Z what thriving could look like and what are the things you need to know and all that kind of fun stuff?

So that was one part of it. And then when I was growing up, I’m Latina so I watched telenovelas and romance and all of the things that we grow up in our different cultural narratives, I’m also a certified Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching as I know that you are as well.

Judith: Yes.

Maggie: So I had all these cultural messages, and so as I was growing up, I knew that I wanted to have that experience of what it could be like. I held the belief. Like so many of us listening held the belief for your career, your dream job, to start a business and have your dream business, to me, getting married and finding a partner was something that I held very dear like, is that possible for me? Can I have that?

And it’s something that I share a lot and I post pictures about me and my husband and we go on vacations or we do stuff, partly because it wasn’t modeled for me because I want to show people this is really possible. You could still want to talk to your partner, even after you’ve been with them all day long. You could still be interested and delighted, and sometimes I’ll tell my husband, we’ll go to sleep and then I’ll be like, “I can’t wait to see you again tomorrow.” Can you imagine?

Judith: I know everybody’s interested and probably like, “Wait, relationships like that are possible?” Because I know we have the telenovela version and if you’re Latin and you grew up watching any telenovela, it’s passion and then demise and deviousness and then passion. They’re crazy pants if you’ve ever watched telenovelas.

But you’re talking about something so much more meaningful where you go to bed and you want to see your partner the next day. How do we get a marriage like that? Tell us all the tea.

Maggie: Okay, first of all, you believe that it’s possible, right? Step one. Could I have that? Let’s find out. And I think everything that we teach and learn at The Life Coach School is part of that. We question our thoughts, we question what we want to create. We question first, and then we take massive action in the direction of that.

And the way that I like to think about it, one of the ways I think about it is to cultivate the friendship. So I call it being sexy besties. So do you have sexy bestie energy in your relationship? If you don’t, why not? What is in the way? And if you do, how do you cultivate and harness more of it?

Judith: Okay, describe for us sexy bestie. If we were to watch a little movie of Maggie and her husband who’s super cute y’all, they’re adorable, if they’re being sexy besties then we get to eavesdrop and totally be voyeurs - that’s a little crazy but you know what I mean - and watch them. What does that look like?

Maggie: I think it’s maybe lighthearted energy, like flirting. Like instead of saying good morning, you say hello handsome, good morning beautiful. There’s an element of that connection that goes beyond the besties that we have some kind of - for most people you have some kind of physical connection when you’re married, and some people are asexual so I want to honor that too with our value of inclusivity.

But for most people, there is some element of acknowledging your physical connection. So one is that flirting, that lighthearted communication would be one thing you’d see us doing and making each other laugh and just being silly. And the besties part is can I talk to this person about anything? Can I bring the deep stuff and the fun stuff and the totally irrelevant stuff? Can I bring it all? How do I cultivate friendship?

So what we know from research - I love quoting The Gottman Institute, they do a lot of marriage research - is that couples who thrive have a strong friendship. So any time that we can cultivate friendship, it is a good idea.
Judith: I love that. Okay, so definitely waking up in the morning with that flirtatious energy. What are some other tips you could give us throughout the day if we’re going to continue to cultivate that sort of sexy bestie energy as we go along our day with our spouse?

Maggie: I think that for some of you listening to this it could feel really difficult if you’re not in a good place, so I want to honor that, that you start where you are with what you have. So for that person, hello, we love you. Start with the smallest thing, the most doable thing.

So oftentimes acknowledgment or gratitude. There are many, many things our partners do that help our lives be easier, whether it’s warming up coffee for us, whether it’s, I don’t know, making sure that the pets are out of the room when we’re recording a podcast, little tiny little things.

So one of the glues that helps relationships thrive is also gratitude. So if you can look and if gratitude feels too big for you, go for acknowledgment. Can you acknowledge this person contributed to my life in this way today? That would be a very good use of your time.

Judith: I love that. My husband does something, I call him Pookie affectionately. People actually think his name is Pookie. His name is not Pookie. He has a real name. But Pookie does this thing for me where he’ll open my can of soda.

Maggie: Yes.

And I have a really hard time opening cans of soda for whatever reason, my fingers just don’t always cooperate. And he just opens it and sets it, but he sets it so it’s positioned where I can easily grab it and drink it. And it’s this - without asking, it’s just something he does. I love it. It’s the little nuances. But you said something that’s really important, I want to pull that out a little bit.

The difference between gratitude and acknowledgment because I think sometimes we push ourselves for gratitude, like it’s this weird must-have thing. So tell me a little bit more about that distinction as you see it?

Maggie: So this is purely, obviously, my thoughts. But the way that I would distinguish gratitude and acknowledgement is sometimes gratitude feels too big. If you just went through a big emotional turmoil with your partner or something is going on, gratitude might feel like something that today is not the day you’re going to practice it.

And if that’s the case, you can still acknowledge. You can say, “Oh, he opened the can of soda for me. He had a positive intention when he did that.” You can acknowledge that, even if you’re just recovering from an argument you just had.

So to me, acknowledgment has a little bit less of an emotional charge attached to it, and gratitude is when I can see he opened the can of soda and I love that, and I savor that, and I enjoy it, and I receive it, and I feel a little heightened sense of emotion around it. That’s how I would distinguish it.

Judith: Okay. So let’s say we had a fight because I know there’s folks listening, we love you, no shame in your game, you probably just had a fight and you’re like, “I’m going to go listen to the podcast,” and you’re in your little world right now. What do we say to those folks to help them through when they’ve just had a moment that feels really high and/or intense?

Maggie: The number one thing that I would say is that one moment in time is not a verdict on your whole relationship. So you had a fight, something’s going wrong, something’s going on, that one moment in time does not decide your future. You decide your future. You listen to this podcast for a reason because you can take positive action on your own behalf towards your future. You can choose how you want to think about what’s next.

And what I invite you to do is to start, right now, thinking about what’s next. What’s the recovery from that fight? How do we move forward from this? And one of the biggest things I talk about a lot and that is just a really valuable distinction to have, which I also learned in my studies with The Gottman Institute is there’s a difference between managing a problem and solving a problem.

Sometimes the fights we have is because we want to solve something, we want it to go away forever. So if a spender marries a saver, you want your spender to become a saver. Can anyone relate?

Judith: Yes.

Maggie: So that is a problem that will never be solved. So many, many couples have unsolvable problems. It will never be solved. Your spender will always be a spender and your saver will always be a saver. What do we do about that? Instead of trying to solve it, we manage it, which is all that we talk about at The Life Coach School is how to manage your mind around things.

Like oh, I married a spender or I married a saver, what do I want to think about that moving forward? How do I create the life that I want to have and the relationship I want to have, given this circumstance that isn’t changing? I get to choose my thoughts about that circumstance.

Judith: I love that. Okay, last little - because she’s given us so much juiciness, y’all. So if you just had a fight, we got something for you. If you’re in a lovey-dovey sexy bestie energy, we got something for you.

But let’s talk to our folks who are not partnered currently. They have no kind of partner in their life right now. What would you say to them to help them? Maybe that’s their goal for the year, like I want to find a partner. How do we prep them? What kind of juiciness can we give them to prep them to become partnered if that’s something they want?

Maggie: I love the way you phrased that question because I want to deeply honor anybody who isn’t partnered and doesn’t want to be.

Judith: If you want to be. This is a choice, baby.

Maggie: And honestly, everything that I teach about marriage and relationship skills, so many people tell me, “Oh, my relationship with my daughter got better and my relationship with my parents got better.” So relationships, any time you improve them, they just help you across the board with whoever you are in relationship with.

So for anyone who’s not partnered in a romantic sense, all of these things like cultivating friendship, do you need to do that with your boss? With your co-worker? With your friends? The things we’ve talked about, they still apply.

Now, if you are desiring to be partnered and you’re like, what’s my number one thing, what is one thing they can do, I invite you to believe it’s possible you can have the partner you want. It starts with belief. It’s a theme that runs across so many episodes of the podcast. It starts with belief. So if you’re super quirky, like I’m super quirky and nerdy - oh my gosh, Judith and I, Star Trek, hello, right?

Judith: Hello Trekky nerds.

Maggie: So telenovelas, Trekky, all of these things, right? And I just believed, could there be someone in the world who gets me? I invite you to believe that whatever nerdy, quirky thing you think is so out there that nobody’s ever going to get, there’s somebody out there right now wishing that somebody got them the same way, that has that same quirk, that has that same thing. That’s my invitation.

Judith: That is a beautiful thought to practice, y’all. There’s somebody out there who gets me, who loves my quirky nerdiness. Okay, I feel like that’s a beautiful bow. Practice that thought, y’all. Even for those of you who just want to find friends, you just want a platonic partner, that’s a beautiful thought to practice as well.

I coach a lot of people on friendships as adults and how to find them and I think that’s a beautiful juicy ass thought to end with. So Maggie, if the folks want to find you and get more of your Maggie goodness as I like to say, where can they go?

Maggie: So come to Everything that I’m doing will always be on my website. And if you’re on Instagram, come to @TheMaggieReyes and I would love to be in touch with you there.

Judith: Alright, that’s what we have for you all today. Until next time.

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