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14. Settling vs. Acceptance

When we start doing thought work-we realize that our thoughts are the cause of our happiness or lack thereof.

What this means is that we can find a way to be happy in most situations.

Often my clients will wonder whether this means they will settle for less than they should because thought work makes it tolerable.  What I have found is this does not happen.  When we are clear in our thinking and we feel good-we make very good decisions about our life.  Accepting is not the same as settling.

Here is the difference between settling (never do it) and accepting (always do this):

Settling:  continuing something we know is not in our best interest without doing any evaluation or thought work

staying in negative emotion willingly

consciously giving up

short changing ourselves

feels bad

(doubt, fear, diminished)

Accepting:  accepting something in this moment we can or cannot change

doing the thought work required to stay in positive emotion

staying in the current moment with a willingness to explore options from a place a peace

conscious

allowing our best self to emerge

feels good

(peace, love, relief)

 

We can accept where we are now and still take action to improve it.  In fact, from acceptance there is much more opportunity to drive positive emotion.  Settling for something is staying with something while at the same time rejecting it.