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Ep #148: Mind Over Matter

I think it’s amazing that we, as human beings, have the privilege to believe whatever we want.

No one can tell us what to believe about ourselves, about what we’re capable of, and what our life is about. We get to decide what we want to believe – it’s the concept of the mind over matter.

On this third part of our four-part series on the topic of resilience, we take a look at the types of beliefs that support perseverance and keep us from giving up on our goals.

Join us to find out what makes us stay true to our commitment and discover the questions that will help keep you moving toward your goal until you reach your desired results.

Grab your copy of our new Wisdom From The Life Coach School Podcast book.  It covers a decade worth of research, on life-changing topics from the podcast, distilled into only 200 pages. It’s the truest shortcut to self-development we have ever created!

 

Listen to the show

What You will discover

  • What is an obstacle and how obstacles are “created.”
  • The power of the “mind over matter” concept.
  • The types of beliefs that create resilience.
  • Complaining about obstacles vs. taking action toward solutions.
  • The detrimental effects of confusion.
  • Questions that can keep you moving toward your goal.
  • What makes us stay true to our commitment until the end result is achieved.
  • The immense benefits of putting your mind over matter.

Get the Full Episode Transcript:

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Episode Transcript:

Welcome to The Life Coach School podcast, where it's all about real clients, real problems, and real coaching. Now, your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.

Hello there, my friends. How are you? I'm doing amazingly well. I am sitting at my desk in my cozy pajamas. Every once and a while I'm at home. One of the things I love to do in the morning is read. I curl up ... we have this chaise lounge as part of our couch and I put six really soft blankets on it, and I lay there, and I read. Today, I'm not supposed to be working at all today but it's so quiet in my house for some reason that I just felt like “hey, I'm going to record my podcast” because I will love the topic that I'm talking about today which is mind over matter. It's the third part of my four-part series on resilience. One of the things that I do a lot of is I think about my podcasts, I think about my clients when I'm on my walks and when I'm reading, and when I'm just hanging out. I feel like there's so much time I spend preparing for my actual work that I've been really excited to do this podcast for you so I'm thrilled to be here.

This has been such an exciting time for us. We have involved our kids who are 15 ... Connor's 15 and Christian's 16 in growing our business really. We have switched our business model so we now send out physical products. We send out a box as a bonus to anyone who signs up for Self Coaching Scholars and then we send out an envelope of books and goodies every month for all of our members. It's been really cool to involve the kids in that process. There's an outsource program that we can sign up for that would just handle it all for us but I feel really strongly about us doing it. I feel like there's so much more opportunity for me to bring my kids into my business and to show them how we earn our money and what goes into it. That has been such a delight for me to incorporate them.

Last night we were all sitting here and Connor was printing labels, and Connor's friend Gavin was over, and he was getting your letters ready to put into the box, and Christian was out in our manufacturing site, aka the garage, putting the boxes together and putting the labels on. I just feel like there's so much love that's going into these products and these packages that are going out to people's homes so that has really been such a thrill for me. My girlfriend, Erika who's now my colleague working with me on the Self Coaching Scholars, came up and spent the day working with us and so it just felt like a bustling little business that we have going on here. I'm just so honored and thrilled to own this company that is employing people and taking care of so many of our customers so well. Those of you who are members I'm just thrilled to have you be a part.

The reason I say that it's the third part of a four-part series is if you are in Self Coaching Scholars you will have received in your package January podcast guide on resilience and in that guide you can turn to page 30 that's where the study guide for podcast number 148 starts and, basically, what you'll see is my notes that I create to prepare the podcast and then also the deep dive questions that I'm asking you to do. You're not just listening to the podcast but you're actually applying it to your life.

Let's remember that we have covered the idea of commitment and how important it is to have that commitment and that compelling reason for anything that you're committing to doing. I want to add to that a little bit. One of the questions that I've been getting a lot of is, "I don't know what my compelling reason is. I don't know what my commitment is, I have a lot of them." I've talked about this on the podcast before, I've talked about this idea of constraint and how important it is to focus your energy in terms of ... I think that's episode 85. Let me tell you how I just figured that out. In the back of your podcast guide I have an index of all of the podcasts that I've done starting on page 50 and you can scroll through. I'm seeing that section 85 is on constraint.

One of the mistakes I see a lot of people making when it comes to creating results for themselves is they are taking all of their desire and all of their attention and spreading it too thin over too many things. One of the things that I've recommended to my students and to my clients is to pick one thing to really focus on.

I have a small group of people I'm working with this year in a private coaching group called 'Blow Your Own Mind' and one of the things that I have really encouraged them to do is to blow their own mind in one very significant way. For some of them it's getting to their goal weight, for some of them it's making a certain amount of money, for some of them it's exposure in terms of publicity in their writing, for some of them it's writing a book so that's one of the things. I've been working with them, I've been working with everyone in Self Coaching Scholars on this as well, to pick one thing that you can just blow out of the park. Make sure it's challenging, make sure it will ask a lot of you but pick that one thing. Really constrain that down, and make that commitment, and have that compelling reason. That's what we talked about in the first of the series.

The second part of the series we talked about how quitting slows you down. We talked about that temptation to quit. Quitting is part of that buffering, it's one of those things that we get in the habit of doing and it is the opposite of resilience. It completely gives into failure and makes us better at quitting and failure. Today, we're going to talk about mind over matter and one of the things that I have learned that I think is the most powerful thing I've ever learned in my life is that whatever you want in your life, that you can write down, the only thing that comes between you and achieving that are obstacles.

I like to look at that like a ladder. If you think about a ladder and at the top of the ladder is the goal that you want and then all the rungs on that latter are the obstacles that you need to turn into opportunities in order to achieve all of the obstacles between you and your goal really become your to do list. If you want to lose weight one of your obstacles is going to be overeating so your to-do list is going to be figure out how not to overeat. The desire for food may be one of the obstacles. Figure out how to desire it less. That's what I want you to think about when you're thinking about mind over matter. Matter is the thing you want to create in the world and your mind is what can literally create it.

Your mind is the only thing that can overcome obstacles and your mind is also what makes something an obstacle. I wrote this note, I would say, I don't know, three weeks ago and as I read it now I'm like that's astonishing. Oh my gosh! Did I ever realize that? The mind is the only thing that can overcome obstacles and your mind is what makes something an obstacle in the first place. That is some powerful stuff to know because it makes you realize that so much of what is in between you and your goals in the world are thoughts in your mind.

Both of my sons have best friends and the best friends… I always ask them how they're doing. How are you doing in school? How are you doing in life? How are you doing in sports? I always want to check in with them. One of my son's friends didn't do well in school this round and it's shocking because he's a very smart kid, very determined, very disciplined kid. I watch him on the soccer field, amazing. In my mind, there's absolutely no reason why he shouldn't be getting good grades.

It's so clear to me that he's capable of getting good grades because I ask him, "Hey, if I paid you $1000 for an A do you think you could get in A?" All of a sudden what have I done? I've created that compelling reason. I've created that commitment. What's keeping him from doing that is really just thoughts in his mind - thoughts of I don't want to do that right now, it's not really that important, I don't know if I can do it, whatever thoughts that are going on in his mind. That's true for us too. Our ability, if we have a compelling enough reason, we can create whatever it is we want and dream of creating in our lives.

Here's the way that you can think about obstacles: obstacles either means stop or they are the raw material for a success. You get to decide. I think that is such a privilege. I've been saying this a lot to my students lately especially in my Stop Overeating Masterclass. I've been saying to them, “I think it's amazing that we have the privilege of believing whatever we want. No one can tell us what to believe about ourselves, about what we're capable of, about what our life has been about, what it will be about. Nobody can change that for us.” That's the ultimate power. People try and change our beliefs all the time about ourselves. We think that our beliefs about ourselves are based on some reality but really it is mind over reality, mind over matter. We get to decide what we want to believe.

I want you to think about this: what are the types of beliefs that create resilience? What are the types of beliefs that prevent us from giving up? Here are a few of mine but as you go through this workbook, and those of you who aren't in Self Coaching Scholars you can just write notes on this, I want you to think about what thoughts would prevent you from giving up? Here are a couple of mine. We can solve any problem. Another version of that is every problem has a solution. One of the things that you want to notice about yourself: are you someone that complains about problems or are you someone that takes actions towards solutions? That is a huge distinction and it's a choice. You get to decide. Do you want to be a person that complains about problems or do you want to be a person that takes actions towards solutions?

Now, your “problems,” that's just another word for obstacles another word for something in between you and your goal and remember what I've taught you on this podcast the stuff between you and your goal is supposed to be there. That's what makes you stronger. Working through those obstacles is what makes you the person that is aligned with the result at the end. That's why I think it's so interesting so many people winning the lottery if they don't have to go through those obstacles it's almost like they aren't prepared for that end result.

Here's another belief that creates resilience for me: I am not confused ever. What I mean by confused I don't mean like you're trying to figure out a math problem and you're confused but you're still working towards a solution. I mean confused that stops action. “I don't know how to proceed, I am confused. I can't do it.” Confusion is an excuse, always a lie.

Here's another one. This is actually a question. This is a great question that I got from the book Straight-Line Leadership, which I absolutely love: what is the next best action creating that momentum? When you feel like you've been sucker punched or you feel like you got an unexpected result, that question can keep you moving. Remember your brain wants you to go get in bed, and watch Netflix, and eat snacks. You want to keep moving. What is the next best action? If we know we can, we just need to keep figuring out how. I know that I'm going to achieve this goal one of the ways that I like to look at it is from having achieved it already. It's a cool question that you can do is you can say, "I've already achieved this goal. I'm already up my goal weight. How did I do it?" It's like you ask yourself, you ask your future self to tell you how you did that thing that you wanted to do?

Here's some other good questions: What can you change? When there are things in your life that you feel are out of your control don't focus on those things those are just the Cs. Focus on what you can control and what you can always control is the way you think. What can we do? You could always change the action that you're taking. You can change the way you're feeling by changing what you think.

Another really useful thought for me is: nothing has gone wrong here. That's a thought that I pulled from Abraham and I've used for 10 years. Everything happens for me. Nothing's gone wrong here. This is part of the process. This is the part that makes me strong enough to be able to accept and live with the result. How do we keep moving forward? Another great question.

I want you to think about matter as the reality of where we are on the journey. It's always neutral. Our mind over matter is what makes us able to change literally the matter so change literally the matter of fat on our body. Change literally the matter of money in our bank account, the number of clients that we have, whatever goal, the type of relationship that you have. We have to move beyond and get past the matter by using our mind to think differently and solve problems and obstacles. You keep moving forward with the fuel of motivation and determination. Determination is one of those wonderful counterbalances that keeps us developing our resilience. Determination is not giving up no matter what. It's just keeping moving forward. It's courage, endurance, follow-through, lots of practice, optimism, confidence, creativity.

I'm going to be introducing in the next month, in February, the work that I'll be doing with my Self Coaching Scholars group and also the work that I'll be doing here with you all in the podcast is about feelings. We're going to really dive into how powerful feelings are and how powerful the feeling of determination is, the feeling of courage, and patience. Those feelings, and how they serve us, and the language that we use to describe our own feelings, and where we direct our brain to focus when it comes to feelings it's so important. Even just the power of the word as you say it to yourself saying, "Today I have courage. Today I have commitment. Today I have determination and discipline. Today I'm going to follow through. Today I'm going to use my creativity and I'm going to use my endurance. I'm going to create my resilience. I'm going to practice all of these emotions. All of these character traits that I want to develop in myself and so in a year from now I will be closer to the person that I am growing into being, evolving into the best version of myself."

Now, let me talk to you a little bit about the difference between excellence and perfectionism. Many of my clients are perfectionists and they actually ... between people pleasing and perfectionists we have a stalled out action plan. If you're trying to please people you're always going to be slowing down your own progress. One of the most amazing quotes Gary V says is he says, "Not caring about what other people think about me gives me the gift of speed. I don't have to slow down to check out other people's opinions about what I'm doing." I think that's fantastic.

I think thinking about your life and what you're creating in your life just for your own opinion and not always checking in with other people's opinions on what you're doing because that definitely slows you down. I think that perfectionism is also a twin of that because you want to be perfect because you're afraid of what people will think so you don't want to put anything else out there that other people aren't going to love. You don't want to put anything out there that isn't A+ material, that you're going to get an A+ on, and that everyone's going to be very impressed with and so you don't put anything out there because it's very hard to create something that's perfect.

I want to suggest that you allow yourself to be fallible, you allow yourself to make mistakes, you allow yourself to do B- work and put it out there in the world. You use your mind to learn from your mistakes instead of avoiding them. Here's something that I watch my students do: they avoid mistakes so they fail ahead of time. They're afraid of failing so they just fail now. They avoid making mistakes and so they avoid the opportunity of becoming stronger and learning more from making those mistakes.

When you put your mind over matter, you create thoughts and emotions that put you to work. You start working and work teaches you what you don't know. This is huge. If you're someone that you feel that you don't know how to do something, start doing something. You'll find out right away whether it's the right or wrong thing to do. Is it giving you the result that you want? If you don't know what to do, do something and that will clarify it for you.
When you start taking action you reveal the emotions caused by the unconscious thoughts that need to be excavated. Basically, you don't even know what doubts you may have about yourself until you start taking action, until you start setting big goals for yourself. You may reveal to yourself work that needs to be done that you didn't even know was there. This happens to me all the time. I set a big goal for myself, I feel very confident about it, and then I get to work on it, and all of a sudden all this doubt comes up that I didn't even know was there. I didn't even know how much it was affecting me. It is always worth it to find an internal solution to the external problem. Remember mind that's the internal solution and external problem is matter so mind over matter.

Sometimes we look at the world and we think matter is so much more powerful. What's out there in the world is so much more powerful than what's in our minds. What my work is all about teaching you is that what's out there in the world is absolutely neutral. The only thing that makes it powerful is our mind. You give everything out there it's meaning, you give everything out there its power. Whether it's your mother, your mother-in-law, your boss, whether it's people that you work with, it doesn't matter. They have no power over you unless you get your mind involved. None of the obstacles between you and your goal have any power unless you give them power with your mind.

Here's just a little side note. I was talking to one of my friends and I was telling her about how my other friend has so much drama in her life. She's a coach and she said to me, "You're the one creating all the drama. People come and tell you stories but you make them dramatic by the way you interpret them and look at them." She was absolutely right. I was looking for the drama in this person and I was finding it. Whatever you look for you're going to find. You get to decide how you want to interpret everything in your life and you might as well interpret it in a way that serves you. Like I said, you get to believe anything you want.

One of the quotes I recently read it says, "You can either pave the road or you can wear sandals." It's really cool, right? It's like you can either change the world out there or try and change everything so it suits you, so you don't have to change your mind or you can just change your mind. Think about that in an example with a person. This all the work I did with my mom. My beloved mother, all that work I did trying to change her so I could feel better, and railing against her, and just being so upset with her. Being so mad that she wasn't the person that I wanted her to be and just really suffering through my own emotional childhood.

What I realized is that she didn't need to change at all. She just gets to be her. I get to change the way I'm reacting, I get to change the way I'm feeling, I get to change the way I'm thinking, I get to change my entire experience of her by growing up in my own brain and setting really clear boundaries and being in charge of how I feel and not expecting her to be in charge of how I feel. That's true for everything in our life. Our businesses/job isn't to provide for us and treat us well. That's our job. We need to take back trying to control the world. The only thing we need to try and control is our own mind.

There is nothing in matter that is more powerful than what's in your mind. Your mind is what will evolve you. Even if your goal is $100,000 a year that you want to make in your business that money is irrelevant to you evolving whether you make that money or not. It's whether you get over your own limitations in your own mind to create that for yourself. That's what evolves you. That's why the goals being out there in the world, being matter goals are so important because they reveal what's going on in our mind. A lot of times people try and set goals that are internal goals but it's very hard to work within your own mind on your mind. When you set the goal as a matter goal then it all comes up, don't you worry, and you get the benefit of seeing it produced in the world. It's like your scorecard to see what is your ability to create results is a direct reflection on your ability to manage your mind and your emotional life.

The external provides the landscape, the playground. You have to do the work. Resistance is always going to be there. Thank you, Steven Pressfield, for letting us know that. It's your mind that overcomes it. The more you overcome the matter with the mind, the more empowered you will feel and be. I want to encourage you not to stagnate, not to stop setting goals, not to stop putting yourself out there. I want you to always have goals. You set a goal, you make a commitment to it, you create a compelling reason, you refuse to quit on your way there, and then you use your mind to overcome all the obstacles along the way. You use your mind to overcome matter. Those are the first three steps. If you implement those in your life you will build a tremendous amount of resilience and what resilience will do is it will allow you to set even bigger, and bigger, and bigger goals in your life.

The other really awesome strategic byproduct of resilience is when something happens in your life that you are not prepared for, that you have no control over, it's unexpected, some sort of tragedy you will have practiced resilience on purpose by setting big goals for yourself. You will be able to utilize that skill and that characteristic within yourself whenever the world doesn't go your way, whenever something happens that is unexpected. That reason alone is what's worth putting yourself out there in the world, asking yourself to do hard things, making yourself stronger mentally and emotionally. You can show up in the world from an empowered place instead of always reacting as things happen in the world.

I want to seal this deal up in this third part of resilience by having you guys just check-in. Have you done the exercises in the past three weeks? Have you expected that of yourself? Remember if you haven't, if you haven't done the work, if you've been falling behind, that is not a reason to quit. In fact, it's the opposite. That's when you need to double down, schedule some time for yourself, sit down and get the work done, and get that momentum going, and that feeling of self pride going so you can keep it going for the rest of the year.

I want to encourage you guys to stay on through the outro of this podcast because I have a very special treat for you. One of my amazing coaches, Brenda Lomeli, has created a short segment podcast on losing the last 10 pounds. One of the things I talk about with her a lot is that there's a huge difference between losing the first 40 pounds and that last 10 pounds. I love that work that we have to do to get so precise down to our ideal body weight. One of the things that's so great about Brenda is you look at her and you can't even imagine that she's ever been overweight in her life. She's in what, looks to me like, the perfect right sized body. I've gone out to eat with her and she eats with gusto, and freedom, and she's comfortable in her own skin. All of the work that she does with her clients is all about them finding that same kind of freedom.
I remember for so long I used to think that in order to keep myself at my ideal weight it was always going to be punishing and I was always going to be depriving myself. She teaches that that is absolutely not the case and in fact in order to maintain yourself at your natural weight and not be gaining and losing 10 pounds over a period of consistent time is to really narrow in on what are the things that affect that last 10 pounds. She is an expert in that area. She's a holistic nutritionist. She understands everything that has to do with food and hormones and she's also a coach, so she understands the process of really managing your mind and how that relates to food.

I encourage you to have a listen to her segment. She also has a great gift if you go to her website and download her instructions on losing the last 10 pounds so please enjoy. I'll talk to you guys next week. Bye-bye.

Hey, if you enjoy listening to this podcast you have to come check out Self Coaching Scholars. It's my monthly coaching program where we take all this material and we apply it, we take it to the next level, and we study it. Join me over at thelifecoachschool.com/join. Make sure you type in the 'the' lifecoachschool.com/join, I'd love to have you join me in Self Coaching Scholars. See you there.

Podcast Feature: Brenda Lomeli

Hello, you gorgeous listeners! My name is Brenda Lomeli. I am a certified life and weight loss coach and certified holistic nutritionist. Today I'm going to talk about the last 10, the last 10 pounds. They are by far the hardest to lose. That's the work that I do and that's why my entire practice is built on this. What I'm going to do today is explain to you three major things. Number one, why you haven't lost it yet. Number two, why it's worth it to lose those last 10 pounds and number three, how to lose it permanently.

Other than being a certified life and weight loss coach and certified holistic nutritionist, I just want to tell you also a little bit about myself. Other than the certifications another really important thing for you to know is that I'm also a woman that definitely knows what it's like to struggle with my weight. I'm a woman who has struggled with my weight for, basically, my entire life and finally figured out the formula not only for weight loss but also, in this case more particularly, for how to lose the last 10 pounds.

I lost over 70 pounds altogether and without a doubt I can confidently say that those last 10 pounds were the hardest. Especially for women and that's why most women never lose it and just stay stuck forever in that place of wanting to lose it but not knowing how or feeling like they can't. That's exactly why today I'm going to share with you why you haven't lost it, why it's worth it to lose it, and how to lose it permanently.

The first thing I'm going to talk about is explain why you haven't lost it already. Two words: commitment and precision. Commitment. There is a huge difference between wanting to do something and actually committing to doing something. Committing requires discomfort. Why is that? Commitment requires discomfort because it actually requires you to do things and it requires you to do things you've never done. If it's a result you've never had before it's going to require you to do something that you've never done before. It will require you to take action even when you don't want to and when you don't feel like it.

You will need to remain attentive even when you're tired and even when you're stressed and it won't be easy. You should expect that, you should expect that it won't be easy. I'm telling you right off the bat, disclaimer, that the last 10 pounds are not easy but you should expect that and embrace the entire process, even when it's hard. Again, it won't be easy. In fact, losing the last 10 pounds might be one of the hardest things you ever do, which is exactly why most people never do it.

I want you to think about this question: do you want to lose 10 pounds or are you committed to losing 10 pounds? There's a big difference. There's a big difference between just wanting something, which requires no action. You can just want something forever and nothing happens, no action is required or you can commit to something and then action is definitely required.

Let's talk about precision. You definitely won't be able to lose those last 10 pounds with moderation or mostly eating healthy. If that worked, then you would have already lost those 10 pounds but you're going to have to use exact precision. What you have been doing hasn't worked so you can't just keep doing the same thing you've been doing and expect that you're going to lose more weight. You are going to have to do things that you haven't been willing to do and it's really going to be about precision, and focus, and paying exact attention, paying attention to what you eat and everything that you do that prevents you from losing the last 10 pounds.

Everything that you eat matters so you're going to need to be precise in your decisions for why you are eating each thing that you put into your body. If that freaks you out it's because you think that it will be restrictive and that it's going to be a struggle. The reality is actually that precision gives you this incredible freedom. It eliminates the unnecessary food, the unnecessary thoughts about food like should I eat this? Should I not eat this? I really want to eat this but I shouldn't and the list goes on. Of course, it eliminates the unnecessary weight. Precision also eliminates all the time wasted on trying to lose the last 10 pounds because think about how much time and energy you've spent on trying to lose those last 10 pounds and on that struggle with the last 10 pounds. Once you can experience this you'll see that it's not restrictive at all. It's actually quite amazing to be free of the ongoing struggle to lose those last 10 pounds.

Next, I want to talk about why it's worth it to lose it. First of all, let me just say that it is not shallow to want to lose the last 10 pounds and it doesn't mean your vain, or antifeminist, or that you're being hateful of your body. It's completely possible to want to lose those last 10 pounds and to love your body at the same time. These two things are not mutually exclusive. In fact, you're going to have to love your body in order to lose the last 10 pounds. The personal work that's required to lose the last 10 pounds is absolutely profound. It's so powerful to be able to understand how the extra and unnecessary food, regardless if it's healthy or unhealthy it's unnecessary nonetheless, how this extra food is actually preventing you from reaching your highest potential.

Losing the last 10 pounds means that you're not using food against yourself it means that you're not using food to buffer, or to numb your emotions, or to escape boredom, or to deal with stress, or to comfort yourself. It means that you've actually found more emotionally mature and effective ways to take care of yourself, to experience pleasure, to entertain yourself without all the negative consequences of over eating and having extra food, unnecessary food. You've spent so much time, way too much time worrying, and beating yourself up, and waiting, and struggling with those last 10 pounds. Once you lose this weight you can move on to bigger more important goals that serve you, that serve your ultimate purpose, and to really create the life that you desire. As a bonus in that body that you desire, the body of your dreams.

Number three: how to lose it permanently. There's three main things that you're going to have to address if you want to lose the last 10 pounds. First, you're going to have to look at your eating and change it. Second, you're going to have evaluate all the hormonal factors that prevent fat loss. Third, you're going to have to find new coping strategies that actually work for uncomfortable emotions that have led you to eat in the past.

The first thing is to address your eating, looking at your eating and changing it. What you're doing isn't working. You've kept trying to do the same thing and have the result be different but this hasn't worked and it's not going to work. Your process may look something like this: you find a new diet, you try it for a few weeks but not fully committing. Remember, we talked about commitment and not committing with precision. Then quitting, and being frustrated, and then maybe starting something else again later. This cycle hasn't worked in the past and this pattern hasn't worked in the past long term because of the lack of precision, lack of commitment, and also your dependence on willpower accompanied by intense feelings of deprivation.

When you attempt a diet and experience ongoing feelings of deprivation and restriction this process it just is not sustainable. For the most part, always leads to over eating and sabotaging whatever progress that you've gotten. What you must do instead is determine the foods necessary to nourish your body, eliminate the rest, and remain committed with precision. You will be surprised at the amount of food you actually need to feel satisfied, energized, and to healthily lose that weight; the last 10 pounds. By eliminating all the reasons that you eat that are not for the purpose of giving your body the nutrients that it needs and just give it the exact amount it needs to stay at your ideal weight you will be able to lose those last 10 pounds and just maintain your ideal weight effortlessly, with ease, and keep it off for good.

The second thing we need to address are the hormonal factors that prevent your weight loss. When people talk about weight loss they usually talk about food and they talk about exercise but losing weight is not only about the food and it's not about the exercise. It's also about hormonal balance especially for women. It's vital to understand the effect that your daily choices have on your hormones. When your hormones are not balanced it's basically impossible to lose the last 10 pounds.

By looking at your sleeping patterns, your stress level, and patterns in your menstrual cycle you can really determine changes that need to be made in order to optimize your hormones so that you will have a successful weight loss and lose those last 10 pounds. Some of those hormones are estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, melatonin, cortisol, insulin, ghrelin, and leptin. They all play key roles in whether you can get off those last 10 pounds and, like I said, this factor, this component of the hormonal factors is something that definitely does not get talked about as much as it should. It is essential, it's vital, it play such an important role on whether you can get off those last 10 pounds.

The third and very important thing to address is having a strategy to manage your uncomfortable emotions that does not involve food or drinking. One of the main reasons that we overeat is to deal with our emotions or to not deal with our emotions, boredom, stress, anxiety those can all drive us to over eat. Sometimes over eating, even in small amounts, really can prevent incremental weight loss just really keeping you from your goal. When we don't have coping strategies to manage these uncomfortable emotions food is really often the nearest and easiest thing to just take that edge off.

When you're feeling anxious, when you're feeling bored, when you're feeling stressed food is there and it just seems to be a quick easy fix. When you've been doing this type of coping even in small ways it can seem very harmless because it might be really small amounts of food and it might even be healthy snacks or foods but nonetheless it's unnecessary food, it's unnecessary eating, and it's exactly what is keeping those last 10 pounds on your body. When you learn tools to actually feel those emotions and learn how to feel those emotions instead of eating you could lose those remaining pounds and get to your weight goal.

There you have it. Now you have a deeper understanding of why you haven't lost these last 10 pounds, and you know the reasons why it's worth it to lose the last 10 pounds, and you also know how to actually do it. Start making these changes now. Don't wait until you're ready because really you'll never be ready. You just have to start. If you start implementing the changes that I just talked about in this podcast you should definitely start losing weight. You should definitely start losing those last 10 pounds and keep it off.

I'm so happy that I've been able to have the opportunity to share this information with you guys. I know that a lot of women struggle with this last 10 pounds and I'm just thrilled to have this opportunity to share this information with you. I'm an expert in nutrition, in coaching, and in helping women lose those last 10 pounds. I know what it's like to struggle with those last 10 pounds and I want to make sure that you are able to lose your last 10 pounds for good. If you want more detail on the exact steps to lose the last 10 pounds make sure you go to brendalomeli.com\thelast10. We'll have this in the show notes so you make sure you get the correct URL because I have created a very detailed guide just for you to make sure and guarantee that you lose those last 10 pounds.

Make sure you go there and opt in for that guide. That guide will give you the exact steps to lose the last 10 pounds. If you're really struggling with your last 10 pounds you can also go to that web address and schedule a one-on-one call with me. On that call, I'll show you where your food needs to be tweaked, where you need to make some changes, and also where your emotional and thought management needs to be improved so that you don't need to go to food to deal with your emotions and overeat.

Thank you so much for listening. It has been an absolute pleasure. It is time to lose those last 10 pounds.

12 Comments

  1. Brooke! You are amazing and you are helping me so much. I am continuously trying to grow. I am suffering right now and am so thankful that I found your podcast. I have been listening to 2-3 a days or the past week. I am 25 years old and always learning something new about how to grow. My biggest struggle is rejection. I am really focusing on changing my thinking.
    My biggest struggle right now is that a few years ago my boyfriend left me. This was the beginning of my journey toward self growth. I was 22 years old and was extremely unaware of my thoughts and what emotional adulthood was. We ended up getting back together. He then left again. Here’s my struggle now: when we broke up, I focused so hard on healing and not letting abandonment and rejection effect me. I fully healed and did so well for myself. It was the best I had ever felt. I had a very positive mindset. Well, we got back together, and now I am 25 and he left again. It’s been almost a year and before listening to your podcast, my biggest struggle has been the thought “you already healed and grew and learned to cope with abandonment, it happened again, what else is there to learn, this just sucks.” And that thought basically spiraled out of control for almost a year now. I’ve finally started becoming close with my thoughts and feelings and wanting to heal again, but I feel a little stuck.

    I think it would benefit me and I’m sure a lot of listeners if you did a podcast on heartbreak/ abandonment/ breakups/ divorce

    You are amazing and I am so thankful for you!

  2. Brooke, I live across the pond in England and only discovered you after Christmas 2016. In 3 weeks I am now on episode 75 of your podcasts. I play them out walking, exercising, preparing food, at bedtime….. and I have fit in all those episodes despite working full time as a maths and science tutor and looking after my 15 year old son. Your podcasts are fantastic and inspiring. Some of it I knew, but now I am putting everything that I have learned into practice. Already lost 3 pounds, just got 7 pounds more to go to reach target. Thank you so so much.

    I am sharing your podcast information with everyone! Inspiring.

    1. Hi Sara,

      Thank you so much for the feedback! It’s great to hear you have found Brooke’s podcast so helpful and that you are already applying what you’ve learned. You may also enjoy Brenda Lomeli’s work on losing the last 10 pounds (She is one of our certified Life and Weight Coaches and is featured on episode #147): http://www.livebeautifull.com/thelast10/

      Carina

  3. Hi! I love the podcast. I have listened to every episode; some many times! I just had a quick question and wasn’t sure where to post it. I am a teacher and I have started teaching some of these ideas to my students. But I know in one episode you said one of your coaches specializes in the model for children? Or has adapted it for children? I can’t remember in which episode it was mentioned. I would love to find materials I could use to “coach” my 6-10 year old students in the model. Thanks so much!

  4. Hi Brooke. I’m a really big fan of your podcast which I have been listening to for the past year. I have two questions which I’d love your thoughts on:

    Firstly – in your podcast you talk about happiness being a choice and coming from within (rather than being determined by external circumstances like your job, relationship etc) which I completely agree with. However, in light of this I wonder how you can ever know when you should change a particular circumstance in your life – such as your job or relationship? E.g. if you don’t like your job, how do you know whether you just need to change your attitude to your job OR find a new/ better job?

    Secondly – I’m a big fan of setting goals (and I’m generally successful at following through and achieving them), but often find that my goals are contradictory. E.g. when I’m working full-time I wish I had more time to pursue my hobbies and personal projects (I would love to train to be a yoga teacher). However, I’ve recently found myself unemployed – and have all the time in the world – but now I don’t have the finances to fund my hobbies / projects without a full time job to pay for them. I often find myself in this situation (e.g. choosing to pursue a particular goal seems to limit / hinder my other goals). Especially when trying to balance career, finances, work-life balance and relationships. Do you have any advice on this? And how would you suggest people prioritise which goals to pursue, and which areas to compromise in?

    Many thanks for all your work on the podcast.
    Best wishes
    Bea

  5. Kia ora Brooke

    Just wanted to say i love your podcasts and it has soo helped me grow as an amazing coaching. Keep up the amazing work.. Thanks for sharing with us all.

    Tasha

  6. Hello! The last link in this podcast notes is not working (downloading the PDF for the last 10 pounds). Thanks!

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