16. Cheer Leading
Yay! Good for you client! You lost 20 pounds! Congratulations!
Nothing makes me cringe more.
The type of coaching we teach and do at the Life Coach School is based on the cause of all our actions/results (our thoughts), not the temporary change of symptoms.
This is sometimes difficult for new coaches. They want their clients to feel good, and they think they can do that for them. (They can't)
Clients feel good when their thoughts are truthful and positive.
So, in the above example, the client lost 20 pounds. Before we “cheer” for the twenty pound weight loss-we really want to understand the why.
Why did the client lose it?
What were the thoughts behind the action?
The thoughts might be: I want my coach's approval. I want to do a good job. I can white knuckle this.
If we “cheer lead” this pattern we are “encouraging” the very thing the client is trying to change permanently.
A good rule of thumb when coaching is to first make sure you have done your own work on needing your client to like you. Then, offer a massive amount of encouragement and cheer leading for any self-awareness, causal thought work, and feeling improvement.
When a client take action or gets results they are happy about-it is very important to see these as interesting and opportunities for self awareness-not as evidence that we're doing a great job as their coach and they're “succeeding.”
If we are honest, we want long-term, permanent results for our clients. Not temporary jolts of yay!