Ep #169: My Human Life
Knowing that we are all finite beings and we’re all going to die, have you ever thought of what you want to do with your human life?
Have you thought of what really matters to you and what you would like to create and leave behind?
Recently I read an amazing book, The Last Word on Power, which completely blew my mind… On this episode, I talk about some of the important points from the book that stood out to me and truly changed my lens on the world and the human experience as a whole.
As humans, we are constantly being nudged to evolve to the next version of ourselves. Because of that natural thirst for growth, we are never going to feel complete.
So what are we to do after we realize we will never feel complete?
Listen in to find out the answer to this question and discover an important exercise that will surely help you lead a meaningful, fulfilled life.
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What You will discover
- Why we are never satisfied with where we are at the current moment.
- Why we all need an impossible dream.
- The importance of figuring out what you want to do with your human life as a whole.
- How you can go about doing that.
Get the Full Episode Transcript:download the transcript
Welcome to the Life Coach School Podcast, where it's all about real clients, real problems, and real coaching. And now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.
Well hi there my gorgeous, beautiful, awesome friends. How are you? Summertime! Loving it. Oh my gosh, you guys, I love the summer. Love, love, love it. I'm in such a romantic honeymoon period in my life right now. You know we go through them, we go up and we go down. I'm just having, like right now, I'm just like “wow, this is an amazing life I'm living right now.” So soaking up every single second of all of it.
So today what I want to talk about is my human life. And I kinda want to talk to you about the inspiration for this episode first. I read this amazing book. I can't even remember who recommended this book to me. But it's one of those books, I think I've mentioned it on the podcast before, but it's one of those books that I read and it completely blew my mind. It was one of those books that I'd had on my shelf for a while, and then I pulled it off and started reading it. And then I re-read it. And then I was so obsessed with it that I made my Kindle reader read it out loud to me, like in Siri's voice.
And now I'm re-reading and it's blowing my mind. So I thought of course I have to recommend this book to everyone, this is the game changing book of all time. Why isn't this a best seller? And so I recommended this book, it's called The Last Word on Power by Tracy Goss, I recommended it to several of my friends, and some of my clients, and students. And not one person who read this book even liked it. They were like, "Yeah it's kinda lost, it's not really written well, I don't really like it." And so I'm like, "Oh maybe that's why it wasn't a best seller." Maybe this is just one of those books that like resonates with me. And have you guys ever felt this way about movies? Like you go see a movie and you loved it and no one else did. And you were just like it was the right time, I was in the right mood, it was the right book, it was the right time for me.
And one of the things that Tracy says in this book that I love about it, in the very beginning, is she says, let me see if I can find it, about her dedication for the book. She says, "This book is not for people who want to become successful, but for those who have already won at the game of success and want much more." And I really feel like that's me. I feel like in so many ways I am as successful as I've ever wanted to be in my life. And I think for some of us, most of us, we think that there is an endgame, right? Well when we get thin, when we get married, when we have kids, when we graduate, when we finally buy the house. And what we realize, those of us who achieve those goals, as we achieve them, is that the horizon keeps moving.
And one of the things that she said in this book that really blew my mind was that we're always somewhat unsatisfied, and that's okay. And the way that she described it is that when you die, you will be unsatisfied, probably about as unsatisfied as you are right now. And what she meant by that was that you will be satisfied with some of things that you have done in your life, but you will be unsatisfied with those things that you have yet to achieve, and that you still want to achieve. And this is not a negative thing, because as humans we are constantly being nudged to evolve. We are constantly being asked to take ourselves to that next version of ourselves. And because of that, we are never going to feel complete.
I remember listening to Abraham, who was always talking about that, like you're never going to be complete so you might as well just have fun on the road. And I think a lot of us think that if we can't be complete, why even bother? Why even reach for that thing? And the way that she described this, and she describes it so interestingly, she's like, "Basically we're all gonna die, and we're all gonna die unsatisfied, and that's why we should live full out now. We should live full out knowing that at the end of the day none of it really means anything and matters that much."
Now I think a lot of reason why people didn't like this book is because of things like that. Because of basically there is no solution to the way that we feel. And we're constantly looking for that solution to the way we feel, we're constantly looking for how do we get to the part where there's no more negativity? And I think that part of living a life completely out loud, completely turned on, is by knowing that half of it is going to be bloody awful. And not fighting that anymore, not trying to hide from that anymore. And in fact actually embracing that. Because if you embrace that half of your life is going to be bloody awful, then you stop trying to prevent it from being bloody awful. You know that that's part of the deal, that half of the time that's what's gonna happen.
This is a lesson I've been learning a long time up until this book. But one of the things that she, she talks about how we're gonna be unsatisfied, you will be just as unsatisfied when you die as you are today. The way that she said that made me realize like I can give up the idea that I will at some point achieve satisfaction. And if you do achieve satisfaction, you have stopped being a human that needs to evolve. And the other thing that she teaches in this book is to have an impossible goal. And I don't know why, but for me, that made my head explode. Because as soon as you know that the goal is impossible, you let go of making sure it's possible. And you stop fearing failure. Because it's impossible, so you're gonna fail for sure. But that doesn't meant that you don't go and get it.
So if this is like, I'm worried as I'm saying this that you guys are gonna be like, "Huh?" Because as I've tried to explain this book to other people, they're like, "I don't get it, I don't see it the way you do." And that's okay, and that's why I haven't talked about it yet on the podcast, or even with many of my students, because I don't feel like a lot of people relate to it in the way that I do. But I know that some people will. And so I want you to think about the impossible dream tied together with the idea that you're always going to be unsatisfied. So if the truth is that we're always going to be unsatisfied, and no matter what we achieve in our life we're always going to want more, and that is the human experience. And it doesn't matter whatever we create in our life, or do in our life, half of it is going to be awful, then we might as well show up and deliver, and be the best version of ourselves.
I had a client say to me that she was afraid to go out there and live her dreams, because she was afraid of feeling awful. And I said, "Oh for sure you're gonna feel awful. But here's the good news, don't you feel awful now half the time? So you might as well make some money doing it. You might as well have some fun doing it. You might as well create a legacy while you're doing it. You might as well realize that that is the human experience." And when you set impossible goals for yourself, you are willing to fail all along the way. But you're also willing to take massive action without the fear of failure. With that self-confidence that isn't afraid of rejection. And that's how you blow your own mind my friends.
So the question is, how do you determine what is possible for you? How do you determine what you're willing to do, what you're willing to lay out for yourself? And what if you allowed yourself to go after the impossible dream 100%. If you weren't afraid of failing, that's exactly what you would do. And so I'll tell you, honest to God, reading this book really has helped me change my mindset about the dreams I have in my life. And here's what it's done for me, it has made my future so much bigger, and so much more exciting, than my past ever was. And knowing that if I make this impossible dream happen, I will still be just as unsatisfied as I am right now, makes it totally worth it.
I see clients all the time, we just did our Mastermind about a month ago in El Dorado Hills, and I had all my coaches come in. And I give an award, it's called the Elite Award and it's for all of my coaches who make over six figures a year. And one of the things that I've noticed with my six figure clients is that they are not fully satisfied once they achieve that goal. It was the goal they wanted all along. “I just want to make six figures. That will just be so awesome.” But once they achieve six figures, then they want to achieve 200,000 a year, then 300,000 a year. Then they want more, then they want different, they want bigger. I think that's a beautiful thing.
Now this is different than never feeling like you're good enough. That's different. And it's also different than feeling guilty that you aren't fully satisfied. And I think it's okay to acknowledge that the human experience is never going to be one of full satisfaction. That doesn't mean you're not happy, that doesn't mean you don't love your life, it doesn't mean you're not appreciative and grateful for everything that you have. That is totally my experience of the world. But there's also that humanness inside of me that is asking for me to grow. Always asking for me to grow. And I'm 100% all in with that part of my humanness. And I will tell you that accepting that, and becoming aligned with that, and being willing to be that kind of human, has made my life so amazing.
So this is the project that I want to work with you guys on in Scholars, and even if you're not in Scholars, I'm going to give you the same assignment. Unfortunately, I won't be able to give you feedback on it, but I still think it's absolutely worth going through this exercise.
So here's what I want you to think about. What do you want to do with your human life? Have you thought about it? Isn't it crazy that so many of us haven't even thought about what we want to do with our human life, as a whole? Do you have a plan? What is the point of all of this? What if it doesn't mean anything, or matter? What if it's just for the adventure of it? What is important to you? What do you want to create? What do you want to say? What do you want to change? What do you want to try? If none of it matters, what do you want to do if we're just in a playground? If we're all going to die anyway, what do you want to do in the meantime? Think about it. Really think about it. And then write about it. Write it down. Make it real. Put it on paper. I wrote my own human life manifesto and I will share it with you but I am encouraging you to do your own.
I want to blow my own mind. I want to be an example of what is possible. I want to do the impossible. I want to evolve. Not just once, but many times within my one life. I want to prove the capacity we create by managing our minds. I want to test the limits. I want to be the opposite of ordinary. I want to question everything. I want to lead to new discoveries. Serve humans now, and after me. I want to be fun. I want to be risky. I want to be uncomfortable on purpose for a bigger purpose. I want to be loving, loud, big, inspiring. I want to have epic wins, and epic losses. I want to be a creator. I want to live an interesting life. I want to die knowing that I laid it out. I didn't hide it, or keep it to myself. I didn't let fear lead. I want to let them judge me. I want to let them be wrong about me. I want to have my own back. And in the end, I want to high five myself because I lived for me. I want to have owned it.
What is your human life manifesto? What do you want your life to be? Decide and write it down. I'll talk to you next week.
Hey, if you enjoy listening to this podcast you have to come check out Self Coaching Scholars. It's my monthly coaching program where we take all this material and we apply it. We take it to the next level, and we study it. Join me over at TheLifeCoachSchool.com/join. Make sure you type in the "the" T-H-E lifecoachschool.com/join. I'd love to have you join me in Self Coaching Scholars. See you there.