Ep #435: The Three Things That Changed My Life

You are listening to The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo, episode 435.

Welcome to The Life Coach School Podcast, where it’s all about real clients, real problems and real coaching. And now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.

Well, hello my beautiful friends. I’m in Lake Tahoe right now. It is gorgeous. I’m looking at the lake, I got all the kids here with me. We are having an amazing time.

And I wanted to record this podcast while I was here for anyone who’s interested in changing their life, to up-leveling their life, to going to the next version of themselves. And I’ve been thinking a lot about what that takes, and I think there’s three main things.

And these are the three things that changed everything. These are the three things that if you implement them into your life, if you master them, if you practice them, your life will be more of what you want it to be. It will be closer to your potential, to who you could possibly be.

So I’m going to tell you what all three of these things are, and I’m going to go into detail with them, and then I’m going to talk to you about how you can come and master these with me in November when we are going to be doing this live event in Arizona where we are going to be talking about these three main things.

The first thing is the Model. And it’s very interesting to me how people learn the Model, use the Model, apply the Model, and change their lives with it, and how other people don’t. And the Model is one of those tools that you really need to practice, master, understand before you really feel the magical effect it has on your life.

And so if you’ve been listening to my podcast for a while and you feel like you understand the Model and you haven’t been able to enact change in your life, I want to suggest that maybe you haven’t mastered it enough, and I’m going to help you with that.

So let me tell you why the Model changed my life and why it’s changed lives of so many of the people that I’ve introduced it to and who have practiced it and mastered it. The first thing about the Model is mind awareness.

And I want to make sure that you understand how incredibly important it is for you to be aware of what’s going on in your mind. It is way more important for you to know what’s going on in your mind than it is for you to know what’s going on in your house.

We lock down our houses. We’re afraid to let people into our house. We’re very careful about the company we keep in our homes. But we don’t do the same things with our minds. We let a lot of nonsense into our minds and we need to be much more aware of what’s in there, what it’s doing, how it’s behaving. What we’re actually thinking in our brain is the most important thing for us to understand.

Now, the reason why, if you studied the Model, you know this. Your thoughts create your feelings and actions, which ultimately create your results. So most people are going around in the world with their minds unsupervised, with inputs unsupervised, with outputs unsupervised. You don’t even know the difference between a thought and a circumstance. You don't even know how much your thoughts are impacting what you’re capable of in your life.

So first and foremost, the Model allows you to create mind awareness. To eavesdrop on your mind, to pay attention to your mind, to really keep your mind clean and clear and on purpose and conscious. It is a skill that we need to practice, it’s a skill we need to hone, and it is something that we need some time and space to be able to learn how to do.

That is one of the reasons why this live event in November, November 18th, 19th, and 20th, is so important. Because we all need to get away from our lives, to get out of our environments, get out of our regular circumstances, and look at our minds in a new way, to recognize thoughts in a new way.

And one thing the Model does is reveal our mindset to ourselves. And I will tell you, when I learned the Model, I could not believe how much negative thinking that I was unaware of that was going on in my mind that was perpetuating results I did not want.

The second piece of understanding the Model is feeling awareness, and how important it is for you to know what you’re feeling. Your feelings drive everything you do. Your feelings are the result of what’s going on in your mind.

And so many of us, because we’re not aware of how we feel, we are inadvertently avoiding feelings. That’s why so many of us are procrastinating and overeating and overdrinking and overstimulating ourselves with the computer, and with working, and with social media.

We’re so unaware of that mind and feeling connection and how those feelings need to be processed that we’re going through our lives in avoidance mode. We are going through our lives in a way that doesn’t serve us because we’re not feeling on purpose, we’re not processing our emotions properly, and we’re not generating the feelings we need to generate in order to create the results we want.

So the Model gives us mind awareness, and it gives us feeling awareness. The third thing that the Model does for us is it helps us create discipline and motivation. And I will tell you, I think the difference between people who are successful at getting what they want in life and people that aren’t are the people that can generate their own discipline and their own motivation.

Those behaviors, those things that we do or that we don’t do ultimately are going to lay the groundwork for our lives. You see, it’s not so much what you do on a big huge scale once in a while. It’s much more important what you do a little bit every single day. The cumulative effect of consistent action based on discipline and motivation will give you so far superior results.

An example is working out. You go to the gym every single day for 20 minutes for three years, you’re going to have an amazing result, versus whether you go to the gym for three weeks. Now, they both require discipline and motivation, but if you can practice using the Model to generate more discipline, which means you basically obey yourself, you do what you want yourself to do, you stop doing stuff against your own will.

Think about that for a minute. If you could get yourself to do the things that you want yourself to do, all of the time, for your greatest good, you wouldn’t overeat. You wouldn’t buffer. You wouldn’t hide from life. You wouldn’t be afraid all the time. You wouldn’t be over-consuming and under-creating. You would be asking of yourself the most that you could possibly give to yourself for your life.

And that is what the Model can do. And so one of the activities I’m going to be doing in November when we all meet together in person is helping you understand how discipline isn’t mean, it isn’t awful, it isn’t horrible, and it doesn’t have to feel bad. In fact, you can train yourself to use the emotion and the behaviors to create a positive, consistent reward from the results that you’re creating by being disciplined.

For those of you who want to lose weight, you can use it for that. For those of you who want to build a business, you can use it for that. For those of you who want to have more patience in your relationships, you can use it for that. For those of you who want to get more organized, you can use it for that.

For any result that you want to create, if you have these three components of the Model working for you, you will be blown away by how much you can create that you actually want in your life. I will share so many of my stories of how I have been able to use my mind and my emotions and my discipline and motivation to be able to create a life that is so extraordinary I can’t even believe that 10 years ago I couldn’t even have dreamt of this life.

Okay, so the first thing of the three things is the Model. The second thing is possibility and the possibility formula. One of my recent passions that I have been working really diligently on is helping people reinvent their personal truths. Uncovering their limiting belief, the things that they’re using to limit themselves, and helping them release those things so they can see beyond what they thought possible for themselves.

I will tell you, this is one of the most gratifying things that I do in my practice as a life coach. And so one of the reasons why I wanted to bring you all into a room with me, I wanted to see you in person and be able to workshop with you personally is sometimes the way that we limit ourselves, the way that we hold ourselves back, the way that we confine our own lives is just not apparent to us because it’s like we’re living inside the fishbowl.

We don’t understand that just because we can see through that glass doesn’t mean our world is that big. And one of the things that I’ve been training students to do through this reinvention and possibility project is helping you expand what you think is possible.

So here’s an example. Someone comes to me and they say I want to make $100,000 in a year. And I would say why $100,000? Let’s think about a million maybe. Maybe it never even occurred to that person that they could have a million dollars within a year. I know for me it didn’t.

I had to completely reinvent my whole thought process to open up to that possibility. And I’ll tell you what, as soon as I did, then I opened it up to 10 million, and now I’ve opened it up to 100 million. So where is your limitation? Where are you holding yourself back in terms of your own possibility?

And how can I help you understand that and open it up so we can see beyond what you’ve been able to see? See, I think that everyone has come to the planet with a very unique brain and a very unique set of desires and passions that are meant to be utilized, that are meant to be explored, that are meant to be created so we can have the highest potential on the planet.

I believe the more people that I can work with to help expand their mindset of what’s possible for them, the better the world will be. And that is one of the reasons why I am creating this event is so you can come and I can talk to you and we can unwind this and you can leave a completely different person than when you came.

With new ideas, with new possibilities, with new tools for discipline and motivation and managing your emotions and generating all of the accelerated emotional energy that you need to go after whatever it is that you want and believe is possible for your life.

One of the things that I see most often in my students is that they don’t truly know what they want. They haven’t been able to truly evaluate what they want in their lives and what their options really are. And what you want, genuinely what you want I think is the map to your destiny.

And so I think understanding and finding out and knowing what you truly want, not what other people want from you, not what your parents wanted from you, not what your friends think you should have, not what society thinks is possible, but what you genuinely want will determine the direction of your life and where you can go and how you can align yourself with the highest version of yourself and blow your own mind.

When you go through my process with me, when we work through this, you are going to be showing up in your life in new ways to create new results. Maybe results you hadn’t even thought were possible for you. And one of the things that comes along with this as I’m helping my students and clients really explore their new possibilities and showing up in new ways and kind of blowing the lid off of all of these glass ceilings that we’ve had for ourselves is do we have what it takes to handle the pressure of that?

There is a pressure that comes with being extraordinary, of standing out, of being outside the tribe, of being in the top 1%. There is a level of pressure that can be scary if you don’t know how to manage pressure properly.

And so one of the things that the possibility formula and the Self-Coaching Model do is they help you manage the pressure of that extraordinary life. Because I will tell you, as you’re growing and as you’re laying the foundation and as you’re making new choices and taking new risks, people around you are going to be affected by that.

The human brain, the primitive human brain does not like change. The primitive human brain likes safety. And so we need to all work together on managing, hey, when we start setting big goals for ourselves, when we start creating new possibilities for ourselves, the fear and the doubt and the worry that comes up, we need help managing that. We need help dealing with that pressure.

And the possibility formula, which is the second thing, is what I teach. And I teach you how to manage that pressure and how to keep going and how to understand that putting yourself in that harm’s way, putting yourself in front of that challenge is what makes you the highest version of yourself. It doesn’t mean anything has gone wrong.

Okay, so I’ve covered the first thing, which is the Model, which completely changes all of our lives when we master it and use it properly. The second thing is the possibility formula, which changes the way you see your life and gives you a formula for creating the most incredible, extraordinary possibility for your own life.

And the third thing that is the most important thing for me and for so many of my students has been the ability and the importance of making a contribution. What happens when you learn the Model and you learn how much more powerful you are than you thought? How much more money you can make, how much more you can create, how much more of an impact you can have.

What happens in most human beings is we have this deep need to make a contribution, to be of service, to be useful to the world and to the people around us. And the problem that a lot of us are having is we are in a consumptive culture, so we are trained and taught and programmed to consume.

There’s nothing wrong with this. Consuming is fine, as long as it’s balanced with creation and contribution. And so one of my passions and one of the things that I think increases life satisfaction is finding a purposeful way to contribute.

What I mean by this is not necessarily going out and volunteering, and not necessarily making a financial contribution, although both of those things can be cool. I’m talking about letting your life and the way you live your life be a contribution to other people.

I’ll give you an example. When I was truly trying to find my purpose in life, I genuinely wanted to be the best version of myself. And I could not figure out how to lose weight. I was obsessed with my weight and thinking about it all the time and just really in a bad space around it.

And one of the things that I promised myself is if I figured out how to lose weight in a way that set me free from the tyranny of diets and hating my body and self-loathing and counting calories, that I would teach it to other people. And so I spend a few years just focusing on all the tools that were out there in the world to lose weight and putting them together in a combination that worked for me.

And when I figured out how to lose weight gently and effortlessly and easily and maintain it, that’s when I started teaching it. That’s when I started coaching other people. That’s when I started making a contribution.

And what I realize is all the work that I had done on myself would have been only for me, if I hadn’t shared it with the world. And that is one thing that life coaching has done for me in my life. It has made it so my process, my work, my attempts to become the best version of myself is also my way of contributing. It is my way of being of service, of creating value, and of helping other people.

And I run into so many people in my life, my friends, people around me, my acquaintances who have done such extraordinary things with their lives for themselves, but they aren’t sharing that knowledge because they don’t know how. They don’t know how to create for other people. They don’t know how to make a contribution with all of the value that they have within their brain.

And this just happens to be one of the things I’m very good at teaching, very good at helping other people do. And so one of the reasons why I’m having this in-person event and I’m inviting you all to come and to study with me and practice with me and coach with me and talk through some of these issues is because I want us all to leave that event and start making more of an impact, start making more of a contribution, start giving back more to the world instead of just constantly consuming.

What I’ve noticed is that so many of us, when we consume too much, we end up feeling bloated emotionally, mentally, and physically. And that prevents us from being disciplined. It prevents us from being motivated. It has the opposite effect.

And so we go years in our lives where we feel like we aren’t making a difference, we aren’t making a contribution, we aren’t creating anything of value. And I think the switch for that is actually much easier than we know. And that is one of the things that I’m going to teach you at the live event that we’re called Life Coach Live.

So let me review these three things. The first one is I’m going to teach you the Model, but not just the mechanics in the Model. I’m going to teach you how to use the Model to increase your mind awareness, your feeling awareness, and how to generate more discipline and more motivation so you can get the most unbelievable results in your life.

The second thing I’m going to teach you is that possibility formula. And I’m not just going to teach it in a passive way. We’re going to get in. We’re going to create some possibilities. We’re going to write up some plans. If you already have an impossible goal, we’re going to double down. I’m going to really help you reset your mind, refocus your energy, get some momentum around it.

And the third thing that we’re going to talk about is how to make a contribution with your life. How to do everything you can for yourself at the highest level, and then turn around and make that work useful for other people and the people around you, and as an example of what is possible in your own life.

So how this is going to look, and when you come for the three-day event, I just want to give you a sense of what it will look like. So when you come, it will be me on the stage and I’m going to be teaching some concepts in the beginning. And if you’ve ever seen me teach, if you’ve ever seen me on stage, you know that it’s very high energy, very interactive, and very fun.

And I am stoked to teach all of this material to you, whether you’re a brand new beginner or whether you’re someone that has been with me for a long time, I promise you, it’s going to be fresh and exciting and new because I am on fire with this material right now. I am excited about sharing it with you and the friends that you decide to bring.

So as I teach, we’ll have some interactions, some questions and answers. And then what I’m going to do is have volunteers for coaching. And we’re going to coach on topics that are applicable to everyone, and you will see how the Model comes alive in a conversation, how it comes alive in a coaching experience.

If you have never seen me coach in person, it’s a very different energy than seeing me coach in Scholars, or seeing me coach virtually on the phone. Being in person and feeling the energy of the room, feeling the audience of the room, feeling me connecting with that other person is very powerful.

We’re going to have some other coaches there as well who can help support in all of the work that we’re going to be doing, and you’ll be able to witness them teaching as well and offering their coaching and their experience as well.

This will be a very active workshop that we’re going to be doing. You are going to get a workbook, you are going to be processing your emotions, you are going to be getting more aware of your mind, you’re going to be creating new possibilities, you’re going to be enacting the possibility formula on your life right there in that moment.

So it’s not just going to be passive. It’s going to be me teaching with energy, me coaching with energy, you coming up and getting coached, and then you doing some private coaching with yourself over a three-day period.

I will tell you, I have been to events that were three days that changed the complete trajectory of my life. And it’s not necessarily what I’ll be teaching you but what you will be creating in your own mind in the environment that I am going to create for you.

So I want to offer this; there’s two types of people that will probably be coming to this event. Some of you are already life coaches and you want to know, does this event make sense for me to go to? Should I come to this event? And my answer is yes. I absolutely want you to come if you’re already a life coach, you’re already certified by me, please come and here’s why.

At that event, I am going to be offering a brand new course that I have created called How to Teach. And I will tell you that one of the things holding many of you back as life coaches is your inability to show up as the best version of yourself to teach.

And so first, you will watch me teach from stage. You will watch me teach at my highest level. This is the best I’ve ever been, with interaction, and with coaching. So it will be a masterclass in just observing that and being part of that audience. Not to mention, all the new material that you are going to learn.

You will also be in the energy of other coaches. And as you’re doing this work in the energy of other coaches, there’s an accountability that’s created. There’s an energy that’s created that when you leave those three days, you can keep connecting with each other, keep the motivation going, keep the discipline going.

I feel like three days, especially for those of you who are in business, being coaches, really working at this work, taking three days to just focus on yourself, to just have a timeout, to just have some space where you can clear your own mind, reset your priorities, reset your goals, do your Models, really think about the contribution and the purpose that you want to create for your life is really imperative. It is a real important practice for each of us to do.

Now, some of you aren’t life coaches. Some of you have been following me as students, as clients, you’re interested in life coaching, maybe some of you are brand new to my work. I want to make sure you understand that this is an event for you.

You are going to come and learn how to master your mind. You’re going to learn how to master your emotions, alongside all of these people that have been committed to doing this work. When you get together with a bunch of people who want their lives to be better, there’s a magic that can happen.

I just recently went with a bunch of my girlfriends, we all did an event together. And it was really interesting because those of us who do this work have a much easier time with our emotions than those of us who don’t. And I’m always wanting to tell my friends like, “You have to learn the Model, you have to understand the Model.”

Because they’ll be like, “Why are you always so happy? Why are you always having so much fun? Why is this so easy for you?” I tell them it’s the Model. You’re witnessing the Model living through my life. Please listen to my podcast, please come to my event and learn the Model live, bring all your friends so you can all do it together.

So I have so many of my friends that are going to come in November and learn the Model firsthand, upfront and center, and really understand this magical process that we’re going through. You’re also going to be able to practice with the support that you need, with me there, with other coaches there to help you go through this process.

We’re going to hold you accountable to doing those Models, to going through, to doing the possibility formula, and to be finding your purpose in creating a contribution.

So if this is something you’ve been trying to do on your own and you’ve been struggling and maybe you don’t know if you’re doing it right and you want some extra help, this is the perfect opportunity for you to come and enjoy the process of learning at the highest level the Self-Coaching Model, the possibility formula, and the purposeful way to make a contribution.

You will leave motivated. You will leave disciplined, with the tools that you need in order to go out there and make your mark on the world, to make your contribution to the world.

So I want to tell you, it’s November 18th through the 20th. It’s in Scottsdale. You can find out more information on it by going to TheLifeCoachSchool.com/lifecoachlive. Over three awesome days, you are going to get a reset. You are going to be able to start fresh. You are going to be able to clear your mind, recommit to your goals, reset your intentions, create a plan, and have the motivation that you need in order to execute it.

This is the perfect time. November will be amazing. We’ll prepare ourselves for the next year, we’ll take three days together, it’ll be beautiful weather, great energy, good vibes. If you want to do VIP, we’ll have a meal together, we’ll connect, break bread together. It will be an awesome time.

So hopefully I will see you there. Hopefully you will go right now and buy your ticket. We still have early bird pricing for the next couple weeks, so hopefully you’ll be able to get in before that. And we will work on the three things, The Self-Coaching Model, the Possibility Formula, and the purposeful way to make a contribution.

I’m excited to see you there. Have a great week everyone. Talk to you soon. Bye-bye.

Hey, if you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out Self-Coaching Scholars. It's my monthly coaching program where we take all this material and we apply it. We take it to the next level and we study it. Join me over at the TheLifeCoachSchool.com/join. Make sure you type in the TheLifeCoachSchool.com/join. I'd love to have you join me in Self-Coaching Scholars. See you there.