We talk a lot about “manuals” in training.
We mostly talk about the ones we have written for others to follow.
We believe if they follow our manuals we will be happy.
When they don’t, we feel frustrated.
We give all of our emotional power away.
But how many of us are also unwantingly following manuals others have for us?
And are calling it love?
It’s not. When you behave the way someone wants you to, for their sake, and the expense of your own, it’s tragic.
Not to be fixed in a get pissed off and yell at them for having the manual kind of way. Just to be noticed.
When you pretend to want to do something you don’t want to do…
You are lying.
You are out of integrity.
That’s not kind or giving or wonderful.
My solution for all of this is to take responsibility for my own feelings.
To allow people to behave exactly as they want to behave without blaming them for how I am feeling.
And to refuse to follow any manual I don’t want to follow. To stop lying.
That’s where I find connection based on truth.
The place where manuals are not necessary.