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Brooke Castillo

No is the Beginning


When someone says no to me, I consider that the beginning of our negotiation.

I am not talking about a personal no, given as a boundary;  but I am talking about no’s that come from a belief that something is impossible.

For example, if I ask if something can be printed in two days for half the price and they tell me no.

Then we begin.

And I have turned so many no’s into yes’s in my life.

So many impossibilities into possibilities.

So when my kids hear the word no and argue.

I’m proud.

My husband.  Is not.

He thinks kids should:

Take no for an answer.

Not argue.

Obey out of respect.

Not question us and our reasons.

I think they should question everything we say, and understand it, and work us with everything they’ve got.

I teach them that when they want something they shouldn’t ask a yes or no question.

For example, if they want ice cream they should ask:

When would be a great time to get some ice cream today?

instead of

Can we get some ice cream?

But that’s not how my husband was raised.

He respects authority.

I defy it.

And I hope my kids will too.

(Sorry, honey. I love you.)