TLCS Special Edition
This week, I’m psyched to bring you this special edition of The Life Coach School podcast!
A couple of months ago, I create a 3-part video series to help introduce myself to new people and share everything I know in the most succinct way possible. To this day it has been my most popular and commented on video series.
Today, I’m bringing you this video series in audio format!
Join me on this special edition episode as I walk you through the process that can help you create an exciting future!
Listen to the show
What You will discover
- Video 1: When Ordinary Isn’t Enough
- The Motivational Triad: how we got to where we are today.
- Past vs. future focus.
- The Self Coaching Model and the power of self-coaching.
- Video 2: Living From Your Future
- Buffering: the key obstacle to having an exciting future.
- The power of taking massive action.
- How to reprogram your body from survival mode to thriving.
- How The Model works and how to apply it to your daily life.
- How to move from our past to creating our future.
- Video 3: The Process of Deliberate Change
- The importance of awareness.
- The process of reprogramming your brain.
- What you need to know about money – managing and investing it.
- Why making a decision is the key to freedom in your life.
- The process that will help you create an extraordinary life.
Featured on the show
- Join me in the Self Coaching Scholars program today!
Get the Full Episode Transcript:download the transcript
Welcome to The Life Coach School Podcast, where it's all about real clients, real problems, and real coaching. Now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.
Hello, hello, my friends. How are you guys? Stoked to give you the special edition. Let me tell you this story, a couple months ago I created a video series. It's a three part video series that I created to help introduce myself to new people and to share my knowledge in the most succinct way possible. I tried to write down everything. I knew like, if I had only three videos to teach everything, I know to someone what would I teach them in a way that they could understand if they're brand new to me. I created this three part video series. It has been my most popular video series that I've ever done. I've received more feedback, more emails, more excitement about it, more compliments I should say than anything else. I realized that I hadn't converted it into an audio version and put it on the podcast and so I've decided that I wanted to do that for you all.
Each one of the videos is about 20 minutes. I'm going to give you the audio version of those videos so there maybe a few spots in there where there's some silence. Pavel might be able to get those edited out, maybe not, but stay with it, it's worth the content. This is one of those series that you could listen to many, many times.
For those of you who are coaches, understanding these concepts it's so important. You can use it with your clients. You can use it with yourself. I feel like this is what we all need to be taught. This is like all of my knowledge distilled down into a basic explanation. The first video is called, "When ordinary isn't enough." The second video is called, "Living from your future." The third video is, "The process of deliberate change." Let's get started.
Hi, my name is Brooke Castillo. I am the Founder of The Life Coach School and a Master Coach Certified Instructor. I want to welcome you to this three-part video series where I'm going to introduce you to the concept of Self coaching and why it matters to you and your life. I work with a very specific group of people who already are successful, who already have good lives. What most of them would call it is a great ordinary life, nothing to complain about except that they aren't happy and they aren't fulfilled and they are complaining inside. They aren't complaining outside because they feel shame about not having the exact life that they want. For some people, they've created everything they thought that they wanted. They've come to this place in their life where they are married, they have some kids, they have an education, they have a good job and yet they're not fulfilled in their lives.
For other people, it's that they have bigger dreams that they keep procrastinating on, they can't seem to find their purpose, they can't seem to find their way. Still, others spend a lot of time in a very good life buffering away. What I mean by buffering is overeating, overdrinking, overcompensating, they don't know what, they don't know why they can't find that fulfillment. They seem to have everything that everybody else wants. They seem to have everything they've ever wanted and yet they can't find fulfillment. I was in the same exact predicament years ago and I figured out the problem. What I was doing is spending a lot of time buffering with overeating. I couldn't figure it out. I knew that I was smart. I knew that I was educated. I knew that I had a great life.
Why was I spending so much of my time overeating and struggling with my weight? Why wasn't I just living a happy, fulfilled life without overeating at all? I went on a journey to figure out the answer. I dove into the whole coaching industry and studied everything. I got a psychology degree and studied everything I could in psychology and then I also decided to become an entrepreneur and study everything I could about business. What I came to is a real deep understanding of what is going on with us as humans. We have arrived at a place in humanity where there's a huge level of dissatisfaction. It makes no sense because we are richer than we've ever been. We live more comfortable lives than we've ever lived. It's easier to survive than it ever has been to survive. I think therein lies the problem. You see, we have evolved to survive. Our humanness depended on us surviving.
When you look at our history as a species we have spent most of it evolving to survive. We have done what we call the motivational triad. The motivational triad is what human beings have been motivated to do in order to survive. The first thing is we have been motivated to seek pleasure. When we seek pleasure, we survive. We seek connection with other humans. We seek food, which taste good and keeps us alive. We seek sex, which feels good and involves us in procreation. All of these things of seeking pleasure has helped us survive in the world.
The second part of the motivational triad is to avoid pain. We've kept ourselves away from things that hurt us. We have kept ourselves away from anything that's caused emotional pain. This has kept us alive. Pain is built into the human experience as a way of survival.
The third thing in the motivational triad that has kept us alive is expending the least amount of effort. We have reserved our energy for things that really matter which our survival. Again, we are designed and we are evolved to seek pleasure, to avoid pain, and to exert the least amount of effort as possible. This is what has gotten us to this point but that exact motivational triad that we've evolved to have is the exact problem that we are going to have when it comes to moving into our futures because all of the things that got us here are the exact opposite of what are going to get us to the next stage in our lives. We now have to change our motivational triad to the exact opposite. We are in an environment now that has way too much pleasure, very easily accessible, right? We have pleasure in food that's enormous and we can see the effects of that in our culture.
You have the pleasures of sex in terms of pornography. You have the pleasures of connection in terms of Facebook. You have the pleasures of alcohol. You have the pleasures of drugs. We are pleasure-seeking species and we have way too much pleasure to choose from so that exact pleasure that got us to this point is now destroying us. The same thing when it comes to avoiding pain. At this point in our evolution we need to learn how to master our emotional lives. We need to figure out what it means to be uncomfortable, what it means to experience a negative emotion. We used to be forced into negative emotion for the sake of survival, we didn't have a choice but now we have the choice whether we're going to put ourselves in harms way. We have the choice whether we're going to show up and put ourselves out there and risk being rejected.
Because we haven't learned how to process our negative emotion, we normally choose, "No, thank you." We continue to avoid pain by not putting ourselves out there in the world and we seek pleasure, which is bountiful for us. The third part that we need to turn around and do the opposite of is putting effort into the world. We don't need to reserve our effort anymore and in fact, most of us instead of putting effort out into the world we spend a lot of time spinning in struggle which feels like effort. We spend a lot of time stressing out, running all over the place, feeling frazzled, feeling upset, feeling stressed, that is the opposite of putting ourselves out there in the world and making an effort. What we are doing is seeking pleasure, avoiding pain and spinning in a circle of effort that is getting us nowhere.
This isn't your fault. The fact that you have arrived at a place where you are trying to survive when you don't need to survive it is what is causing your dissatisfaction. In order for us to evolve to that next level we need to change our motivation. That desire that you have inside of you, that need to evolve to the next level, that need that you have to go beyond where you are right now will require you to literally reexamine what's going on in your brain, to rewire it on purpose, to go from seeking pleasure and avoiding pain and minimizing your effort to the exact opposite of that. What I want to share with you is that in the beginning of your life from about zero to about 25 years old you approach your life from a very future-focused perspective. You start looking for the next thing to learn, the next step to take.
I'm going to go from crawling to walking to learning, from third grade to fourth grade, from grade school to high school to high school to college, from college to getting a job, to meeting someone, to getting married, to having some babies, to maybe getting another job. All through this time you're asking yourself, "Who am I going to be? What are the possibilities of my life?" Most of us can look at that time in our lives and see that there was a lot of momentum that we were moving forward. There may have been areas of dissatisfaction but our eye was usually on the future. Then what happens is over the ages 25, 30s, 40s, 50s is we stop looking forward. We stop exploring the possibilities of our future and we start looking backwards at our past. Instead of asking ourselves who can we be, we start asking ourselves who am I and we look to our past for the answers.
Now, in the previous incarnation of us as humans this made sense. We needed to look to our past to understand how to survive our future but now because we're not in need of survival we can now evolve in a brand new way. We can open up to new possibilities, new evolutions, new creations if we keep our eye on the future but so many of us have never been trained in how to do this so many of us are just trained to look at our past to define ourselves by what we've done, by what our childhood is, by what house we're living in and car we drive and who we're married to. We stop looking towards what we can create in our future and this is a huge problem because when we are stuck in our current life looking at our past then we can only recreate our past. I'll explain it to you this way. When you are no longer growing, when you're no longer evolving, you have this desire inside of you to do that but you don't know how.
You're looking to your past to define yourself and you're not moving forward for your future. This is what creates that level of dissatisfaction even though you have all the great things that you want to have in your life. That desire for something more, that desire to go into the next version of yourself, it's totally misdirected. We buy more things, which doesn't seem to solve it. We overeat more food, which doesn't seem to solve it. We overdrink. We overplay on Facebook. We try and get more money and get more work and work harder and do more and be more and be prettier. All of those things get completely distorted and misguided when we're trying to have that growth come from looking at our past and here's why. This is what I call the Self coaching model. It's a model I created about ten years ago and it will help explain why we are so stuck in our current lives.
The circumstances of our lives are not as important as we think. These are the facts of our lives. What really matters is how we think about our lives because our thoughts are what create our feelings, our feelings are what create our actions and our actions are what create our results. The circumstances and the results of our lives all start from our thinking. I want you to think about this: if you are looking to your past to define yourself, if you are focused on your past what you will do is keep thinking thoughts of your past. Now, most of you aren't even aware that you're thoughts create your feelings, you aren't even aware that your thoughts ultimately you create your results so you don't even know that you're the one recreating the same life over and over and over.
Because there's no growth, there's a huge level of dissatisfaction because you want to avoid pain because of your motivational triad, you don't put yourself out there to be rejected, you don't put yourself out there to pursue new avenues so you're stuck in this life and you don't want to move forward and you're defining yourself by your past and you're just recycling the thoughts of your past and creating the same results. That's why we feel so stuck and the way that we deal with feeling so stuck is by seeking pleasure, by buffering, overeating, overdrinking, procrastinating, whatever your buffer of choice is. This is why you can have this wonderful life from the outside and be suffering so deeply from the inside. The way that we solve this is by flipping the motivational triad and focusing on our future.
We stop focusing on our future. We keep recycling our past. What I want to teach you is that you can start looking towards your future as you did when you were younger and start seeing the possibility of your future and then start creating new thoughts that will create new results. If you think about anything that's ever been created in the world, think about the iPhone for example, Steve Jobs didn't come up with these ideas for all these new technology by looking to his past, by recycling his past. He didn't do it by seeking immediate pleasure. He didn't do it by avoiding pain. He certainly didn't do it by not exerting any effort. In fact, he did the opposite. He gave up the immediate pleasure, was willing to pursue emotional pain, the frustration, the indecision, the doubt, all of that stuff that comes along with pursuing something that could ultimately risk rejection and did the opposite of conserving energy and actually put all that energy into the world.
That's exactly what we need to do within our own lives. We need to overcome our own evolution, overcome our environment that is providing the exact problems, the exact issues that keep us from moving forward and we need to start creating new thoughts based on a possibility of our future. I'm going to show you in the second video exactly how this works and what exactly this does but for now what I want you to understand is the two reasons why your ordinary life isn't enough is first because you're based on outdated motivational triad that is all about survival. Most of us don't have a problem surviving anymore so this motivational triad is completely outdated for us. The second thing that's the huge problem for us is that we're very past-focused.
We stopped pursuing a future. We stopped exploring possibilities for what may be out there or we've told ourselves we have no idea and we block ourselves with confusion and we focus on defining ourselves from our past. These two things have kept us completely stuck in the lives that we have. Self coaching is the process of learning how to explore your life from the future, to look into the future and get the possibility of what can be and then to understand how to actually create it in your life. In summary, your thoughts create your feelings. Your feelings are what drive your actions. Your actions are what give you your results. Nobody has taught you this before, you've never had the structure to understand why things are the way they are, that's what Self coaching does.
Your thoughts from your past create more results from your past, that's why you feel like you keep living the same life over and over and over again, that's why at some point you stop succeeding beyond how far you've succeeded, you've been afraid to push yourself out there to do extraordinary things with your life because that motivational triad is holding you back. Finally, new thoughts created from your future create new results. Self coaching teaches you how to create new thoughts. Creating new thoughts is an activity that then creates new results in your life. The reason why you're unhappy with your ordinary life is not your fault. We have come to a place in humanity where we now need to think about what we think about.
We've never had to do that before. We've never had to overcome our own evolution but what's amazing about being a human being is that we can do that. We can think about the thoughts we're thinking, we can think about how we've evolved to this point and we can make a decision to do it differently so we can utilize all of the great stuff from our past but also create a future that is way better than that past because we're deliberately thinking new thoughts that create new feelings that create new actions that create new results. Instead of feeling like you're tired in the middle of your life, you can start feeling excited and motivated to move on to the next possibility.
Please join me in the next video where I will go through what needs to happen in order for you to make this change, in order for you to change from relying on that old outdated motivational triad to focusing on the Self coaching model where you currently are with it and how to move to the next version of yourself so I'll see you in the next video.
Hi there and welcome to video two. I'm Brooke Castillo, Master Coach Instructor and also the founder of The Life Coach School. Now, in video one we talked about why so many of us are dissatisfied with our ordinary lives. If you haven't had a chance to watch that video, I highly recommend you go back and watch video number one before you watch video number two. You want to make sure you have complete context.
In the first video we talked about the two main things that cause us trouble. The first was the motivational triad which I'll review in a minute and the second one is being very past-focused and why that's a problem and why we need to change it. In this video, I'm going to show you what needs to change for us to have a more extraordinary life, how to get over our current motivations, how to get over our current focuses and change them in a way where we can create a future that is way better than our past. I want to get started with doing a quick review of the motivational triad. The motivational triad is about how we are motivated as a human species to survive. We seek as much pleasure as possible, we avoid as much pain as possible and we try to exert the least amount of energy possible in order to be successful.
Back in the day this was a very good thing. We were motivated by pleasure to go out and seek other mates and to have sex and to eat food, those were all very good pleasurable things that we would go seek and we were conditioned to avoid pain which really helped us from getting into dangerous situations. We conserve our energy because that's what we needed to do to survive. Now we're in a whole different land. We've evolved to a place where survival is not that important anymore. Surviving is actually quite easy. We don't have a lot of dangers in our everyday life. The very motivational triad that got us here is now preventing us from evolving any further. I want to review why that is and how we can change it. All right, let's talk first about our efficient brain. Remember, our bodies, our minds, they like to expend the least amount of effort possible.
When you think about your brain and how much input it has coming in at it all of the time, it has to find a way how to process all of that information and to know what to focus on. What your brain focuses on is what you've told it to focus on. It's what you have decided to believe, what you've decided is important so your brain is constantly scanning for those things that are important. It's also designed to be very efficient and to think the thoughts that's already thought before. This is great when you're learning something, right? We don't have to consciously think about walking or talking or brushing our teeth or even making a meal or driving to work. Those are all programmed thinking that we no longer have to deliberate on and think about in a really heavy efforting way.
What's happened is we thought those things so many times that they have now been delegated to the back of our brain and is very efficient. When it comes to surviving, this is a very important thing, our brain is very efficient, it doesn't expend a lot of energy thinking. Now this is great if you don't want to grow. This is great is you don't want to move to the next version of yourself, you simply just go throughout your day recycling old thoughts from your past, old beliefs from your past, you keep finding new evidence to support those old beliefs and it's very difficult for you to break out of that current belief system, that current way of thinking.
Even if you are to change all of your circumstances, even if you're to change everything that you're doing on a daily basis, your thoughts will still be in your brain and will still seek evidence within different circumstances to prove those same beliefs true. This makes it very challenging to create a new version of yourself, to create a new reality for yourself because your brain is very convicted with the thoughts that it already has. Now, if you put on top of that that most of us don't understand how to think about what we think about and we don't know how to change our thoughts, now we're in a real conundrum, right? Because basically we're just automatically thinking what we're automatically thinking, that's why our lives don't change. That's why we have the same patterns and the same habits and the same things going on day after day after day.
The second issue we have, remember that motivational triad, right? We want to be as efficient as possible, exert the least amount of energy, the other part of it remember was to avoid pain. We have not learned how to feel our emotions. We have not understood that 50% of the human experience is negative emotion. We haven't understood that that's part of the deal and we can process emotion in a way that's at a higher level. When we were in survival mode, all negative emotion meant run, avoid, get away from, you will be eaten, you will die. Now we've evolved to the place where negative emotion doesn't necessarily mean danger. It doesn't necessarily mean that we're going to die. It could just mean that we need to process an emotion of rejection or we need to process emotion of shame, or worry, or fear, or doubt.
Those negative emotions no longer means stop, you're going to die, there's an imminent danger, it means no, you need to think at a higher level and understand that even though your body is having a stressful reaction there is no real danger. The problem with that is nobody ever teaches us how to manage our emotions. Think about every class you took in school, unless you're like me and you have a psychology degree you most likely took one psychology class. In that psychology class you probably learned a lot about what can go wrong with the brain but you probably didn't learn much about how to manage your emotional life, what emotions are you going to face on a daily basis and can you learn how to process an emotion all the way through.
What we do as part of our emotional triad is we avoid these things and how do we avoid them? By buffering. Buffering is the term that I use to describe all sorts of avoidance. You know what I'm talking about, right? The avoidance of overeating, the avoidance of overdrinking, the avoidance of overspending, the avoidance of procrastinating, the avoidance of shall we say Netflix, right? This is how we avoid pain. We're not doing anything wrong, there's nothing wrong with our character, we haven't run out of willpower, we are just living the effects of our evolution. We have been taught and literally in our own brains evolved to avoid pain so when we're buffering by seeking pleasure to avoid pain, we are actually in survival mode.
I know that you guys can relate to that, those of you especially that overeat and overdrink, it almost feels like it's out of your control. It's like you're doing something like you're almost going to die if you don't have that drink. You're going to die if you don't buy that dress, you're going to die if you don't eat that food that's out in front of you. This is the dance that we have evolved to have because of our desires to avoid pain and seek pleasure. Nobody pulled us aside and said, "Wait a minute, everything's changed now." Now we aren't living in caves. We aren't trying to survive the elements. We aren't trying to survive from horrible creatures that are trying to kill us. There is not a scarcity of food out there where we have to kill each other to get it.
In fact, we're in our homes, there's air conditioning, there's heating, there's plenty of food to go around and in fact, there's pills too and there's alcohol too and there's the internet too, there's Netflix too. Your body hasn't caught up with that reality yet, it's still living in survival mode. It's still seeking pleasure and avoiding pain thinking that that's the most important thing. This isn't just some airy-fairy concept, this is actually the neuro transmitters in your brain that are affecting how you behave in the world. This is your limbic system creating emotions that you are unable to manage and so many of us are caught in this trap of overeating, feeling bad, overeating, feeling bad, overworking, procrastinating, whatever it is and feeling bad and we feel bad about the buffering so then we have to buffer more to deal with feeling bad.
The solution here is to understand that our brain is efficient and to put effort, the exact opposite of the motivational triad, to put effort into changing those neuropathways in your brain. The pathways that are in there now are very efficient, they are very fast. What you're asking your brain to do is to pave some new ones. That's going to take some effort so that's the opposite, right? Instead of reducing the amount of effort that we're going to put into managing our brain, we're going to increase that amount of effort. I'm not talking about the effort that wears you out and is a constant struggle and create stress. I'm talking about directed focused effort. Emotional management, we have to learn how to process emotion, this is what I teach, this is what my life is devoted to.
How do you feel something without reacting to it? How do you process an emotion all the way through? Nobody tells us that emotions are harmless, right? Feeling stress in our body, feeling anxiety in our body, feeling rejection in our body is harmless. It doesn't mean we're going to die, right? Nobody has ever taught us that. We don't know how to process an emotion. You know what we know how to do? Avoid emotion, avoid pain, run away from the circumstances that we think cause pain that's why we're doing so much buffering. The final thing that I want to teach you is massive action. Most of us are very good at passive action. We're good at intellectualizing, we're good at learning new things, we're good at understanding new ideas but taking massive action requires us to put our effort into our efficiency. It requires us to move towards discomfort instead of moving away from it.
It requires us to give up that immediate pleasure for the long-term pleasure, the exact opposite of what we've evolved ourselves to do. If you're ready, I'm going to go ahead and introduce you to the exact programming that you're going to need to do to reprogram your body from survival mode to thriving. Okay, here's that model that I introduce you to in the first video. The C stands for circumstances. Circumstances are the facts of our lives. It's who you're married to, it's the kids you have, it's the body that you have, it's the amount of money that you have. Those are our circumstances. Then there's the thoughts you have about those circumstances. Those thoughts are going to drive your feelings. Your feelings are going to drive your actions. Your actions are going to create your results in your life, which will then, of course, become your new circumstances.
So many of my clients complain that they just don't have enough money or they just can't lose weight or they just can't get their new job. I'm going to use the example of weight because that is one of my specialties and it's the one thing that I struggle the most with. In that C line, we're going to go ahead and put our circumstance. Let's say it's 250 pounds. Now, that's a circumstance and we know that's a circumstance because it's a fact that can be proven in a court of law. Now, when we go to decide what to think about that, most of us don't know the process of creating new thoughts from our future. We only know how to use thoughts that we've already had. In fact, we don't even think about thinking thoughts, we just have a thought. Most of us look to our past, right? Unconsciously, we look to our past to decide what this means.
What this means for most of us if we're looking to our past is, “I can't lose weight,” right? We've looked at we've tried before, we have experience with it, we've always been overweight, we've gone on many diets, nothing has ever worked so this is what our thought is. Now, our thought is going to create our feeling and our feeling is probably going to be frustration, right? Frustration, doubt. Now, when you're feeling frustrated, when you're feeling doubtful, what do you normally do? If you're anything like me, you try to avoid those negative emotions by overeating. The result of overeating is that you can't lose weight. Right? You might even gain weight. Now this is going to further prove this idea that you can't lose weight. You've created evidence and now you're stuck in this cycle, right?
You've looked where you're going to get your thoughts from. Remember, you look to your past. You're going to avoid pain and you're going to probably gain weight. That is what the first part of this process is. It's using the Self coaching model to understand what you're currently thinking. We call this first face awareness. You have to understand that all the things in your life can fit into this model. We teach you this model forward and backward and upside down so you know how to use it but for the sake of understanding right here, what I want you to know is that your thoughts determine the rest of your life. If you don't know what you're currently thinking, it will be very difficult for you to understand why you keep getting the same results in your life, why do you keep thinking the same thoughts in your life. What if you could choose to think something different?
Most of us don't do that. Most of us just try and change here. We try to go on a diet and what we try and do is eat less but what happens is we have so much frustration caused by our thought that this action require so much willpower, right? We're having to resist the effect of that feeling. Willpower is temporary, it's like trying to hold a ball under the water, you can only hold it for so long and then soon it pops up again and you're back to overeating and you're back to gaining weight because you're not dealing with the cause, you're not dealing with the cause of the result which is your thinking. Let's consider that you come up with a new way of approaching your life. This new way of approaching your life is going to be one that is the opposite of that triad.
Instead of constantly seeking pleasure, you're going to let the pleasure be. You're going to let the normal pleasures of life instead of the artificial pleasures of life grab your attention. You're going to be willing to move toward the discomfort because you'll know how to manage it. You're going to be willing to take massive action toward your future to get the results in your life but that's not enough. You have to understand that everything comes from your brain first, everything starts with your thoughts and your brain wants to be efficient so in order to change your life you have to change what you're thinking. Remember, we start with circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions and results. Now, we're still the same circumstance but we want to change this, right?
Now, I have to decide what is going to be my thought about it. Now, if I go to my past I'm only going to find evidence that I can't lose weight, I'm going to find gaining weight in my past, I'm going to find overeating. If I create a new thought and if I believe in new thought that I've never believed before, by accessing the possibility of my future then I can create a new result. Here's what I want you to think about, if your thoughts create your results, you have to think a new thought in order to have a new result. Your brain doesn't want to, brain wants to think the old thoughts, that's what's efficient, that's what we're trained to do but I want to encourage you to think about the possibility and I will teach you how to do this. I'll teach you how to create new thoughts, that's what I do in my program. I'll teach you how to believe new thoughts that you don't yet believe.
The current thought, if you're just going to default it's going to go to I can't lose weight but if you look into your future and you look to see what is possible and you decide on purpose what you want to think and what you want to believe, then that is what we'll get you the result you want and you have to put the effort in to believing the new thought. I'm not talking about affirmations, I'm not talking about just saying the same thought, I'm talking about going through the process of laying down new track in your brain. A possible thought if I go into my future could be, "I will weigh 150 pounds." Okay? Now this is a new thought and we can tell that if we believe this new thought we're going to feel different. We're going to feel that peace. We're going to feel accomplished. We're going to feel right sized.
We're going to feel comfortable in our own skin. Determined. Let's do determined here. Committed. Now, when you feel determined and committed and there's a bunch of food available to you to overeat and you're committed not to, you're not going to overeat. You can see how determined and committed if you really feel that way will lead to not overeating and the result will be losing weight. You lose weight. You're going to further prove that you could weigh 150 pounds. Okay, so far I've given you the before model and I've given you the after model. This is what needs to happen, you need to change from this way of being in the world and this thought and this belief to the new thought and the new belief. The way that we do this is by reprogramming our brains on purpose.
The first phase is we become aware of what we're thinking. We become aware of our own buffering. We become aware of our own patterning and our own habits. We look at it from a very compassionate loving space and then we start to focus on our future and the possibility and we notice how as soon as we start to do that our old brain programming comes up, our survival mechanisms comes up, "No, no, avoid that pain. Avoid getting your hopes up. Avoid that discomfort. Avoid the effort it takes to change your brain. Don't do any of that, seek pleasure, overeat, do this," right? That motivational triad comes up and tries to keep you from moving forward. If you do that, you will not evolve. You will stay in that survival mechanism. You will stay non-evolved. If you decide that you're going to let go of that programming and evolve yourself into the next version of yourself, you will create something in your future that does not yet exist and that is the point of evolution.
The point of evolution is to create something that does not yet exist. It's not something that you're going to take from your past and put in your future, it's going to be something brand new and every single thing that has been created in the world was created as a thought first. You have to do your thinking work first, you have to notice what you're thinking about and you have to learn how to think and believe new thoughts. How do you know you're believing a new thought? You will feel it and you will act on it and then you will get that result. Instead of trying to create a new thought based on something you already have evidence for, you have to create your new thought based on something you don't have evidence for.
People say to me all the time, "I want to lose a 150 pounds but I've never been able to do it before." Of course you've never been able to do it before. It's a possibility waiting for you in your future. It's a possibility you've just created. If you've already done it many times before it wouldn't be in your future. Now, maybe you've done it before and you haven't kept it off, that's not worth it. Right? You want to do it for the first time in a way that keeps it off. It's a brand new experience. Weighing a 150 pounds and keeping it off forever is a new thought, is a new possibility, right? That's how we have to train our brains to think. We have to get our brains off of thinking about our past and get them on to thinking about our future.
Learning how to embrace discomfort, learning how to forgo the pleasure so we can create the exact life that we want to create. How do we get from our current life and our past into the life that we want? How do we make this jump that is the question, right? What we need to do is to learn how to bridge this gap? What is the process from getting from here to here? I'm going to give you a whole another video that tells you that entire journey and that entire process. I'm going to sum it up for you here, what it requires is repetition and practice. This thinking has become a belief system for you because you've thought it so many times. A belief is simply a thought you keep on thinking. You have thought this so many times that you think it's true but I want to ask you something, what makes something true?
Is this really true? What makes it true? I'm going to offer that what makes something true is whether or not you believe it. If you believe this is true it will be true for you in your life. If you believe this is true, this is what you will have in your life. Think about anything that you have in your life, you have it because you believe you could have it, you thought you could have it. It started as a thought and then you have it. Now you have it because you believe you can have it. Isn't that wild? If you think about a new thought that you want to have because of the result that it promises, we have to get to the place where you can think this new thought, it's like a brand new skill you're going to develop. A brand new belief you're going to practice. The more you practice it, the more it will become efficient in your brain and then you won't even have to think about it.
The process from here to here takes energy. It takes effort. It takes consciousness but once you've practice it enough you no longer have to think about it. Take me for example. I used to always overeat. I used to always struggle with my weight. I used to always think about how much I could get, how much more I could eat, how much weight I could lose, that was my thought patterning. My belief was I couldn't lose weight. I wrote a whole book on it, not being able to lose weight and then I decided to change my mind. I decided to create a new possibility for a new future and believe it ahead of time. I believe that I could have it before I created it in my life. What I did is by understanding how my current model was creating my current result, I was able to change that model and create a different result and that journey and that process really comes down to repetition and practice.
Let me just summarize video two. Remember, in video one, I taught you why we're unhappy with our ordinary lives…because we're evolved and programmed to survive. In this video, I've showed you what needs to happen in order for us to move from surviving into more of a thriving future-focused, future creation reality. Here's something I want to offer: when you learn the skill of believing in something that's possible in your life, what you start to do is blow your own mind. You used to think you couldn't lose weight, that was me, and then you lose weight. I used to think I couldn't stop drinking. I couldn't even imagine not wanting to have a glass of Chardonnay and now, I just genuinely don't want it. I don't struggle with it. I don't define myself as an alcoholic. I just genuinely don't want to drink.
I never want to procrastinate anymore. I never do anything that is intentionally harmful for myself because I'm seeking pleasure at my own expense. I have learned the process of why my brain is efficient and I'm using that for what I want to create in my future instead of living on default mode. I've learned how to process my emotion and move towards the discomfort. I've learned that emotions are harmless and the only thing holding me back from everything I want in my life is fear and worry and stress. I can have success without needing to experience any of those things but if I do experience them, it's no big deal. I allow them to go all the way through. I've completely stopped buffering because I'm willing to feel my emotions. I don't have to buffer. I don't have to overeat or overdrink or go on the internet or go to Netflix to avoid my emotional life.
I just process my emotion as it happens and I have started to take massive action in my life. I do more things in a day than I used to do in a week anymore and it's not a hustle kind of workaholic kind of energy. It's a very consistent, programmed, effective creation that I started to do. I live my life from my future. I define myself by what is possible for myself instead of from what happened in my past. Everything that happens in my brain is the most important thing because it's the only place where anything happens. My entire past only exists in my brain. My entire future only exists in my brain and everything that exists in my brain is optional. I get to decide what I make things mean.
I get to decide how I look at my past and how I look at my future and because I've learned the techniques of Self coaching I have complete control over where I direct my energy and what it is that I'm creating as contribution for my life. I no longer feel like I'm at the effect of my brain. I no longer feel like it's thinking me and I'm responding. I've not taken that perspective of the watcher to be able to watch what I'm thinking and ultimately change what I'm thinking so my brain is a tool that I utilize in order to create what I want in my life. I would love to show you how this journey works. I've showed you why you're unhappy with your current ordinary life and I've showed you what needs to happen in order to change that.
In the next video, I'm going to show you the process of getting from here to there. I'm going to show you the exact steps that you need to take. I'm going to show you the program that I have created that will take you from living in default mode letting your brain run efficiently seeking pleasure and avoiding pain into a life where you are living into your own possibility and to your own desire. Please join me in the next video and I'm going to break it all down in detail for you. I'll see you then.
Hi, it's Brooke Castillo and welcome to video three. I'm so excited to bring you to this video where we bring it all together. In the first video, we talked about the problem while so many of us have such a hard time with an ordinary life.
In the second video, we talked about the solution, what needs to happen in order for us to live into our possibility, in order for us to have an extraordinary life.
In this video, what I'm going to talk about is bridging the gap between the two. What is the process for moving from a more survival oriented evolution into a more possibility and mental construct evolution? The answer is going to lie within our brain but before I go into that, there's something that I want to share with you that's very, very important. I am a teacher, I love to teach so I can stand in this video and teach you all day long. In fact, I have a podcast that does that. It's just me teaching you all the concepts that I've learned and then I applied to my life but there's a huge difference between learning something in a passive way and applying it in a massive way.
It's the difference between learning in a book how to ride a unicycle and actually getting on the unicycle and riding it. Now, many of us will find that reading about riding a unicycle before we actually jump on a unicycle is a good idea. There are some tricks. There are some concepts. There are some ideas that will help us once we try to get on that unicycle. In fact, many people have learned how to ride on unicycles before us and they have many ideas on how to make that learning curve shorter. If we never get up and we never get ourselves a unicycle and we never try it ourselves, we'll never be able to enjoy the thrill that is riding on a unicycle. That is turning and moving and being able to be quick and go in between houses and cars and people on a unicycle.
We will have the idea of it but not the experience of it and this is exactly why I have created my program called, "Self Coaching Scholars." Self Coaching Scholars bridges the gap between our ordinary life and our extraordinary life. Instead of just me teaching you more things, I created a program that has you getting on the unicycle, that has you participating. Here's something you have to think about. The first couple times you get on that unicycle, you're going to think you don't like unicycling. In fact, you're going to think you're not any good at it. In fact, you're going to think it's not something you want to spend anytime doing because you're not enjoying it.
Now, of course you're a beginner, you don't yet know how to ride it and so in the beginning when you're uncomfortable and when you're frustrated and when it's not working, you might blame the unicycle. You may blame the book you read about riding the unicycle for why you can't ride the unicycle. Many of you will blame yourselves, you will say, "I just don't have enough talent. I just don't have enough willpower. I just don't have enough skill. I'm just not good at this." None of those reasons will be true. The only reason you don't know how to ride the unicycle is because you haven't practiced riding the unicycle. You haven't been willing to do it enough times until it becomes easy and effortless.
I had one of my students go to the unicycle shop with her son and they said it will take nine hours to learn how to ride the unicycle. Now, I want you guys to think about that, nine hours. Most of us don't give things we're learning nine minutes. Now, we may be willing to take passive action. We may be willing to read a book and watch a video, watch a YouTube video and watch other people unicycle for nine hours but actually getting up and falling down, getting up and falling down, getting up and falling down for nine hours, forget it. That's why most of us will never learn how to ride a unicycle. Now let's bring it back to our mental health. Let's bring it back to managing our minds and our emotional lives and taking action in a way that will produce an extraordinary life. It's the exact same thing.
Most of us are willing to watch other people do it. We're willing to read about it. We're willing to understand it. We're willing to be delighted by the idea of it, by the hope that we could do it someday. Most of us are not willing to do the practice that is required to actually have the skill of living an extraordinary life. That is what my life's work is now dedicated to. I am interested in teaching you. I'm interested in giving you concepts. I'm interested in changing your perspective. I'm interested in showing you that your thoughts create your feelings… that your circumstances mean very little. I'm interested in showing you how to feel. I'm interested in showing you how to take action. I want to teach that to you.
Even more importantly to me now, ten years since I've been a teacher, more importantly to me now is that you do it, is that you show up in your life and you actually do it. You think it, you feel it, you take action and you get the result for it. That is what turns me on the most now is watching my clients produce the result, produce a possibility that they didn't even think was possible.
In this video, I am going to show you the process that I created for you to actually learn how to ride that unicycle. It will not take you nine hours. In fact, I'm asking you to commit for one year. I'm asking you to commit to this process for one year because depending on how old you are, your programming is probably 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 years old. We can turn that programming around.
We can have you focused on your future. We can have you create an extraordinary life, but I need a year to reprogram your brain. You have the most powerful, amazing tool. It is the most amazing tool on the planet. You cannot buy something better. It is your brain. Most of us do not program our brains. Most of us let our brains just do what they do by default. In my program, what I teach you how to do is how to program your brain and not only do I teach you how to do it, we do it together. Now, you're going to get in that program and you're going to be falling off that unicycle and you're going to say, "I'm not good at this. This isn't a good program. I don't know how to do this." That's okay because if you stick with me for one year, we are going to create a new programming, a new possibility for your life that will literally blow your own mind. I mean that figuratively and I mean that actually.
In this video, what I'm going to do is I'm going to go over the process. I'm going to go over how you have to get more awareness of where you are now. I'm going to talk about identifying possibility. I'm going to talk about the process of bridging that gap and then I'm going to talk to you about money and I'm going to talk to you about decision.
Okay. Let's start with awareness, this is the first phase that I work through with all of my clients. We have to start being aware of what's going on in our current life. I like to think about this in terms of the GPS in your car, in order for you to get directions from where you are to where you want to go, you have to know where you are and then you also have to know where you want to go.
You have to know pretty specifically. Then once you have those two spots then you have directions on how to get there. Most of the people that I meet have no idea where they are. They don't understand that their thoughts create their feelings. They don't understand that they are the creator of their life. They don't understand that everything they have in their life is because of a thought that they were thinking. Most of my clients come to me and think that their life is happening to them. Their life isn't happening to them, they are happening to their life whether they know it or not. When I first start with a client, there's some important things we need to cover from the very beginning. What I do is I send them a box. The box looks just like this.
I designed the contents of this box to teach them to find out where they really are and how they're creating the life that they currently have. Let's see what's inside. The first thing that they'll find inside is a book called, "Self Coaching 101." Now, self coaching is about understanding that model that I introduced you to in video two. It's all about understanding the process of your thinking, your feelings, your actions and your results. See, there is no problem in your life that isn't one of those things. There's actually nothing in your life that isn't one of those things. When you understand how they all work together, that's when you start figuring out that you are the conductor, that you are the one creating, that your brain and your life are co-creating your life.
Without your brain, without consciousness, you have no life and yet you've been allowing the software to be automatically installed and automatically updated. This process of self coaching, I teach in a video and I teach in this book, you must understand how the world works. Once you have a general understanding of that, then we start looking at what's currently going on in there. What's going on in our brain? What are those thoughts? Oh my goodness. You may be very surprised at what you find inside of your brain. You will start to make sense of why you feel the way you do, why you act the way you do, why you're getting the results that you get and you will also begin to understand something that I referred to in that second video called buffering.
Buffering is a huge problem for many of my clients. They're trying to escape the reality of their life. They are trying to escape into pleasure and avoid emotional pain. Now remember, that's what we're programmed to do if we don't reprogram ourselves. One of the first things that we have to do in order to get a clear mind and focus and understand where we are is to stop buffering. Now, buffering is just a symptom of a problem but we have to eliminate it from the very beginning in order to get down to work and understand and have compassion towards where we currently are in our life and where we currently are with our brain.
Now, the main areas where I see buffering are in overspending, which is why I talk about money in the program…overeating, where I have a full training in the program just devoted to overeating and I have a whole book just devoted to overeating within that program. It's How to Stop Overeating. Then I have another program that is called, Stop Overdrinking. Once we clear out, some of those issues are very complex for people, they need to spend the first part of the training really getting pass overeating, buffering and overdrinking, whatever way that they're doing that. If they have a more general buffering then they usually go through the buffering work. If they are overspending and having trouble with money, they go through the money work. If they are having trouble overeating, it's all in there for you. Now, if you're not overdrinking or you're not overeating of course that part doesn't apply to you.
Let me just share briefly my experience because I went from being someone who overate all the time and buffered with overeating and trying to lose weight and then I switched to overdrinking and spend a lot of time trying to quit drinking and overdrinking. What I realized is once I wasn't focused on escaping from myself, I was able to understand what was going on with me. I was able to pay attention and be conscious of my unconscious programming of all those thoughts that were going on in my brain. Many of them were producing a lot of self loathing, a lot of doubt, a lot of frustration, a lot of angst. Once I recognized them and saw the feelings that they were causing and the actions that they were taking, I was able to go from that watcher perspective and see myself do that in a way I never had before.
Once you have the understanding of what you're doing in your life, that's when that desire to change make so much sense because you're able to look at your life and understand the buffering and understand what you're doing and what you do is you understand of course that's what I'm doing, that makes sense, that's how I'm programmed to behave. Instead of beating yourself up and making it mean something horrible about you, you start understanding yourself. You start having compassion for yourself. In the process of understanding yourself, your thoughts literally start to change. Have you heard of this concept that when you observe something, it changes as it's being observed. As you're observing yourself, live your life, it gently starts to shift, that's without you doing anything.
Then that's not enough because then I take you into the next version of it, which is how to feel better and how to start taking action. Those are the other two books that I provide in that quick start kit. This one is the How to Feel Better and this one is the How to Get it Done, how to take action and get it done. These two books take us to the next level from just being aware of what we're doing to gently changing it. Now that's just all in the very beginning. That's just all phase one. I want to tell you that that isn't just learning, that it’s applying. I ask you to do stuff within those workbooks. That's the foundation. Now, once you have a really clear sense of that, I want to offer that for many people that in and of itself is completely mind blowing. It takes people from being in a space of not understanding what's going on with them to complete understanding and compassion.
For me, that wasn't enough. Once I stopped overeating and overdrinking and feeling good then I'm like, "Now what? Now what are we going to do with this life? Now that I'm at my goal weight, now that I'm no longer waking up hung over, I have a lot of energy, I have a lot of excitement." I still have that desire inside of me to do something with my life. I'm not putting all that efforting into trying to lose weight, or into trying to quit drinking, or in Facebook, or in trying to get more money. What am I going to do with that now? That's where we start looking to our future and we start realizing, "Wait a minute, if our future only exists in our brain, we can create any future we want." Any future we want. We start exploring the idea of possibility, of what is possible in the world.
One of the things that I've discovered is that the way that humans evolve is by identifying possibilities that don't yet exist and then creating them. We can do this on a global level. We can do this on a huge gigantic level or we can do this on a very small level. See, most of us the way that we're trained in school is, “Do this. Here's how you do it. This is what's possible and here's how to do it.” What I like to teach is that you want to identify something that is impossible, that is impossible for you yet, something that blows your mind that you can’t even imagine having done. Something that wasn’t handed to you as an option but something that you created as an option. Here’s what’s amazing about that, when you think about the possibility for your life, you’re imagining something that has never been imagined before in the combination that you’re imagining it.
You’re imagining yourself doing something in the world that hasn’t yet been done by you. You’re creating in your imagination a new possibility and if you believe in that possibility and I’ll teach you how to believe in a possibility then you create that possibility because remember that a possibility is really just a thought, it’s just a sentence in your brain and those thoughts create your feelings which create your actions which create your results. This is how you blow your own mind by understanding how the world works, by understanding how your brain works and then by identifying a possibility in your life you can do things that you never thought were possible. I know this is true for me. I used to think the best possibility in the world would be able to be a size six.
Now I'm a size six and I’m a size six effortlessly. I used to think the best possibility in the world would be to never drink and never want to drink again. Now, I’m here I don’t want to drink. Beyond that I have dreams of possibilities. Now, I used to think it would be impossible not to want a glass of Chardonnay. Now, I keep asking myself, “What else do I think is impossible that I’m wrong about?” I never thought I would be able to have a bag of Oreos in the house and not want it. Now, I don’t genuinely want it. I never thought I’d be able to make six figures working from home as a life coach reading self-help books. How was that even possible? But it is possible. It’s what I’m doing. It’s what I have been doing for the past ten years. What is it for you that you think is impossible? That you just don’t know how to believe in enough to be able to create it.
Now, many of you will say to me, “How do you do something that you don’t know how to do?” That’s the magic of having your brain. Everything that’s ever done in the world is done a first time by someone. The first time someone made six figures as a life coach there was no one to follow, there was no how to manual. That person didn’t know how to do it. That person decided. That person had that possibility in their mind and then they did it. How was that possible? Nobody told them how. That is the magic of learning how to manage your mind and that is this secret of creating the life that’s extraordinary. Okay, you understand that your brain is designed for survival and that it’s no longer working. You understand that you have the ability as a human being to create possibility and live into it. You’ve seen people do it. You see people all around you doing things for the first time.
They set a goal out there for themselves and then they go and get it. They’re not different than you. The only thing different is they believe that their goal was possible. What is the process of programming your brain? How do we do it? We get the awareness first. We identify that possibility and then what we do is we bridge the gap with what I call the process. Now, the process is not about learning anything else, the process is about training yourself to stay aware of how your current living and to keep your mind on your possibility. Because what is your brain want to do, do you guys remember? It wants to be efficient. Your brain wants to do what it’s always done. If you don’t stay vigilant, if you don’t daily practice, your brain will default into the mode of doing what it’s always done and you’ll be very comfortable and familiar there.
In order for you to explore the possibility of your extraordinary life you have to practice daily. I asked myself, I said, “I have all these people that listen to my podcast. They love the ideas that I’m teaching them but they’re not seeing progress as fast as they could. What is the difference?” The difference is they are not practicing on a daily basis. They aren’t coaching themselves, they listen to me, maybe see me at a live event and get all excited and then they leave and they lose that excitement and they lose that motivation. I ask myself, “What could I do to help people bridge that gap better? What could I do to reach more people and help them apply not just learn?” I have hundreds of thousands of people that listen to my podcast and like my ideas. I want to take most of you and help you not just learn the ideas and then repeat your past with this idea in your mind. I don’t want you to just understand it passively and be delighted by it.
I want you to see its effect in your life, that’s what I’m excited about. I designed a program that I believe is the answer to that and this is how the program is setup. You get that box in the mail and you read that material and that puts us all on the same foundation, okay? You’ll have some time to explore the ideas of where you’re buffering. If you need to stop overeating, overdrinking, all that material is there for you and once you get through that material some of you will struggle with that material in the beginning, that quick start bonus material that gets you kind of to that ground floor. I’ve set up my program where you have tons of help during that process. Within my program, I have coaches who are trained in this material, coaches who have been through this themselves, who have stopped buffering, who have learned how to be aware, who’ve created extraordinary lives for themselves.
These coaches are available to help you through that process. A lot of times we need to talk to someone to get perspective especially when we’re in this phase and we’re trying to figure out how to be more aware. That is the process, right? You come in, you stop buffering, you start becoming more aware and I have help within that program for you and then what happens is the first of the month we start a daily practice. You will get a book in the mail from me and it will have the month on it and within this book, this is a workbook for you. There’s very little to learn in this book. I have notes. I have some guidelines in here but this book isn’t about learning. It’s about applying. It’s about reprogramming your brain.
I’ve designed this book for you to write in physically. I send this to you in the mail because I want you to have that connection with something outside of your brain, tracking your brain. Depending on what month it is, we may be focused on your thinking. We may be focused on your feelings. We may be focused on your actions. We maybe focused on money. We may be focused on time. We may be focused on how you’re living your life the results you’re getting. Most importantly we’re focused on increasing your awareness and living into your possibility in a very small and daily way. Then once a week we all get together on the phone and this is where you can ask me for coaching. You can watch people be coached. You can fill your brain up with not just people learning this material, not with just me teaching it to you but with us applying it. With what does it look like that our thoughts create our feelings in our real everyday life and that discussion is what helps reprogram our brains, the more we can do that.
Now, you can get direct help from me on those calls if you want to be coached live, I’m happy to do that. We have a whole process for it and that’s once a week. Then every other day during the week, if you come up with a question, something you don’t understand or something you need help with, we have a portion of the website where you can ask questions and get immediate answers to anything that you’re struggling with. Whether it’s something you don’t understand or something that you’re running up against or a feeling that you’re having a hard time feeling or an emotion that’s blocking you from making progress or an action you’re not taking. Anything that you’re going through on a daily basis we are there to keep you vigilant.
We want to have your attention. We don’t want you turning your head towards your past. We want you to be turning it towards the future. The process is a daily way where you look into your brain, you see what’s in there and you live deliberately. Instead of living the programming of your past, you acknowledge the programming of your past and you shift it towards the possibility of your future. The way that we do this is by literally creating new thoughts to think, practicing those new thoughts and living into those new thoughts. That is as simple as I can explain it and it really is that simple in life. The challenge and the reason why it feels difficult is because you’re programmed to be efficient in a different way. I promise you as soon as we reprogram your brain, living into the possibility of your future will feel as natural as living the default of your past.
What will happen and this is the crazy part is you’ll get to that new possibility of your future and then that will become your past and then you will think of a new possibility. People ask me all the time, “What is the purpose of my life?” and my easiest answer is, “You’re living it.” This is the purpose of your life. Your life is purposeful. The way that you can feel that purpose is by living into more of your possibility by evolving as you were designed to do.
There's two more things I want to talk to you about. One of them is money and one of them is decision. Money is one of those topics that a lot of my clients shy away from. They love it when I talk about money because I have no shame around money. I love money. I think money is fantastic. I think there’s so many problems in the world that are solved by money. I want to make lots of it. I want to give lots of it.
I think money is just an abundant wonderful expression of everything that we can be. It’s just makes us more of who we are. If we are evil it’s going to make us more evil. If we’re wonderful it’s going to make us more wonderful. I want to talk about money here because my program costs money. My program costs you an investment of money and I’m glad that it does. I give a lot of my material away for free. It doesn’t cost any money. You can listen to my podcast. A lot of my books are available online. You can go to my website. There’s a lot of free material. I don’t have a problem giving that away, it’s wonderful. I’ve made more money in my life than I ever thought possible. Money is not something that I need a lot of. Money is something that I have and that is wonderful.
What I have a need for and a desire for is to live into my own possibility and to teach other people how to do the same. I have a program within the program, within Self Coaching Scholars called Money and it’s one of the best ways that I know for teaching students about their mindset and how it affects their life. The way that you think about money will determine so much of what you do in your life, it will determine where you live, it will determine the car you drive, it will determine the job you have. Now, I want you to notice that I didn’t say how much money you have will determine those things. What I said was how you think about money will determine those things.
I’ve talked to a lot of students and some of them say, “For me to join Self Coaching Scholars is the same as a car payment and that seems like a lot to me," and I asked them I say, “It depends on what your priorities are, right? It depends on what you value.” Now, for me whenever I’m offering someone a program, my only intention is for them to think about whether they’re all in or not because if you’re not all in on something you shouldn’t do it. I’ll ask them, “What do you spend your money on? What do you invest your money in?” That will show you a reflection of your priorities and rightly so. Many people spend a lot of money on their home. Many people spend a lot of money on their health insurance, on their children, on their education. When you look at all of those things and you look at the investment that you’re making, you want to look at the return you’re getting on.
I love to think about paying my light bill but that is one of my favorite bills to pay. I think the benefit of light of being able to flip a switch and turn on a light is magnificent. I think it’s such a bargain. The other thing that I think is an incredible bargain is books. I was just talking to my CFO about my Amazon bill and he’s like, “Could it really be possible that you spend this much money on books?” I'm like it's a bargain. I like reading three books a week. I love reading. That’s a good investment for me and the reason why I think books are a great investment for me is because what I learn from those books, I apply. Now, what I apply makes my life better, makes me grow, makes me go into that possibility. I want you guys to think about what you’re spending your money on and how much of it is being spent on your mental health.
Now, it may seem like I’m trying to talk you into spending it on your mental health and I’m not but I want you to think about it because I’m not trying to talk you into anything because any time I talk anyone into anything, they don’t show up. That’s the last thing I want to do but I do want to point out to you that we are not taught to spend money on our mental health. We are not taught to invest in our grown growth. We are not taught to invest in ourselves in a way that keeps us excited about our future. We’re taught to invest for our retirement, right? We’re taught to invest in cars and in houses and in clothes and in accounts that make interest. I want you to think about that. I want you to think about an amount of money, let’s say it’s a thousand dollars that you put into a savings account, into a mutual fund, into an investment.
That’s an investment, right, because it’s earning you money and you’re going to take that money and maybe reinvest it and then you’ll be able to use that for your retirement. I want you to start thinking about when you invest money in yourself in the same way. If you buy a book let’s say for $15, are you making good on that investment? Are you reading that book? Not only are you reading it, are you applying it? Now, you’ve taken a $15 investment and made it worth $25, made it worth $100, made it worth $300. I mean think about some of the books you’ve read that you’ve invested in, that you’ve invested not just money but time and energy in applying. Can you even account for the benefit, the payoff, the interest that you’ve received from that investment?
Nobody teaches us to think that way. What I want you to consider is I want you to consider investing in this coaching program of Self Coaching Scholars. I want you to consider not just investing money, it’s $297 a month, smaller to a car payment people tell me, right? Investing that money but that’s not all I’m asking, I’m asking you to invest your time and your energy and the reason why I want you to invest those two things is so you’re payoff can be extraordinary. Your life can be extraordinary. I always say whatever I offer in this world, whatever I sell out into the marketplace, I always want to overdeliver. If someone pays me $100 for something, I want them to get $200 minimum worth of value back from that, minimum.
I had a client the other day, who had invested $12,000 in one of my stop overeating programs. I used to have a small program where you could sign up with me and work with me in a very small group to lose weight over six months and it was $12,000 program. She has since lost almost a hundred pounds. She lives in a different body but more importantly she lives with a completely different mindset and I asked her, I said, “What was your return on investment? Was it a 100% return?” I want you to think about what that would mean, that would mean you took $12,000 and invested in the stock market and then in six months you had made $12,000 or the equivalent value and how do you put value on something, right? What she had said is she knows that she’ll never gain that weight back. She knows that she’s free of that weight forever. That investment of that $12,000 will serve her. It will keep paying her dividends for the rest of her life.
Now, I want to offer, that is not because my program was so amazing, my program is amazing but that’s not the reason why her investment paid off because I had other people go through that same program that didn’t get the same benefit at the level that she did because they didn’t show up and invest and reap the benefit. Anything that you invest in you want to make sure that you’re committed to the payout. Anything that I asked you to do I’m asking you two things. I’m asking you to show up. I’m asking you sign up. I’m asking you to invest your money and your time in this program. I invested a lot of money and my time to create the best program for you I possibly can.
I always think like if I was going to have my sister signup, my mother signup, what is the program I would create for them and this is what I would do, this is the program I have created. I already see so many people benefiting at the level I had hoped they would. The last thing that I want to talk to you guys about is decision. I talk a lot in my podcast about making decisions. Making decisions is an action that you do and I’m going to argue that it’s one of the most powerful thing we do in the world, making a decision. That’s making a decision to do something or making a decision not to do something. Ultimately what we’re doing is committing to a thought or committing to a different thought.
Unfortunately, most of us spend most of our time in “I don’t know,” in indecision, which I’m going to argue is the least powerful thing that anyone can do. “I don’t know if I’m going to go to college. I don’t know if I want to marry that guy. I don’t know if I want to take that job. I’m just not sure,” right? Being in that space of indecision creates no momentum. It creates no forward movement. All it does is put us in stagnation. Many of us are in indecision and we don’t even realize it. we don’t even realize that we’ve committed to a life of I don’t know. Clients come to me all the time, “I don’t know if I can lose weight. I don’t know if I want to stop drinking. I don’t know if I want to give up all these desserts. I don’t know if I should leave my husband. I don’t know if I should take that job. I don’t know what my purpose is. I don’t know who I am.”
Their life is a full thing of “I don’t know.” They haven’t made a decision about what they wanted to do, about who they are, about if they want to stay or if they want to go. I may never talk to you again and if I don’t, I just want to make sure you take this with you. Give yourself the gift of making decisions. Making decisions will save you so much time and I’m going to make it super easy for you. Never judge a decision as right or wrong or good or bad, don’t do it before you make the decision and most certainly don’t do it after. When you decide something you must also decide that it’s the right decision. You decide something and then you commit to that, you don’t second guess yourself because a lot of people are in indecision that they make a decision and then they go back in indecision.
It looks like this, “I don’t know if I should marry. Oh my god I don’t know if he’s the right guy. I don’t know if I should marry him. Okay, I’ll marry him,” and then you marry him, “I don’t know if that was the right guy to marry. I shouldn’t marry.” Right? You create so much drama and you burn up so much of your mind power that could be creating something for your future. If you decide to marry that guy, be married to that guy. If you decide to leave that guy, leave that guy but make a decision. Don’t ever give yourself time to think about something, thinking about something does not make your decision more valid. Thinking about something just waste time because you know how long it takes to make a decision? An instant and if you think about it a long time before then you think you’re giving yourself a better way of making a decision, I want to tell you you’re not.
Make a decision and then commit to that decision, whatever it is in your life and I want to invite you to make a decision about this program. You’ve watched the three videos now, you’ve hang in there with me, you’ve learned some of my concepts and some of my ideas and I’ve told you where I’m going to take you on this journey. Now, for me this offer that I give to you, your answer of a yes or a no are equal in my mind. If your answer is a no, I want you to take that no, let go of this program and open yourself up to something different, right? If there’s something different out there that you think will be more effective, open your heart up to that but then when you go to that, make that decision and commit to it.
If you decide to say yes to my offer to come on board to Self Coaching Scholars and to work with me, I want you to own that decision. I want you to commit for that year. I want you to dive in and do all the work and show up and be afraid and express all of your emotions. I want you to move into the possibility of your future and don’t second guess that decision and don’t sit on the sidelines waiting to see if you’re really worthy of getting in the game. The way for you to be part of this program is to pick up that unicycle, get on it and fall off, that’s what everybody does the first time, that’s what this program is about and we’re all kind of giggling and doing it together.
Then at the end there’s some people riding around on those unicycles, we're having a great time on those unicycles, we’re like, “Who knew I could ride a unicycle?” right, “Who knew I could live this possibility in my life? Who knew I could have this much money or be this thin or not want to drink? Have a great relationship with my husband and my mother and my mother-in-law.” That’s where the magic is, that’s what I live for. I want you to consider what I’ve offered you today. I want you to consider the investment of your time and your money and then I want you to sit down and give yourself the gift of a yes or a no. If your answer is yes, you will click the button somewhere on this page and it will take you to an order form. You will fill in your information and then I will immediately send you the quick start box.
You will also get instant access to a website that will give you videos and audios and they’ll get you started with that quick start material. You’ll also be able to ask me a question immediately, start looking at all the overeating, overdrinking, money, any of those materials you want to look at. Don’t be overwhelmed by any of it, it’s all optional. Then at the first of the month we’re going to get started. You’re going to meet me live on a call, on a video conference call and we’re going start doing the work that’s going to take you from your current ordinary good enough life into the possibility of your own extraordinary. All I’m asking you to do is to commit first, press that button and let’s get going.
It has been my pleasure to talk to you over these past three videos. I really appreciate you coming along for this amazing ride and I look forward to working with you over the next year. Have a beautiful wonderful day.
Hey, if you enjoy listening to this podcast you have to come check out Self Coaching Scholars. It’s my monthly coaching program where we take all this material and we apply it, we take it to the next level and we study it. Join me over at thelifecoachschool.com/join. Make sure you type in the, T-H-E, lifecoachschool.com/join. I’d love to have you join me in Self Coaching Scholars. See you there.