Video: The Model Part 2
Join in as Brooke Castillo talks about the self coaching model developed and used at The Life Coach School.
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Hi, this is Brooke Castillo from The Life Coach School and in this video I'm going to talk to you about a concept that I created that we call The Model and we call it the self coaching model, we call it the get your head straight model, we call it The Model.
This is the CTFAR model, the self coaching model, The Model. I'm going to review it really quickly one more time. Circumstances are facts that you have no control over. Thoughts are one sentence in your mind about your circumstances. Feelings are one-word descriptive emotions that are caused by the thought. Actions are what you do because of the way your feeling, and the results are what is created or not created, maybe a lack of result from what action that you took. When your client comes to you, whatever problem they present to you, you can define it as one of these categories. It's not an exact science and you can't do it wrong and that's the good news, right? This isn't like something that if you get it wrong, oh my gosh, then you are going to ruin your client forever.
Nothing like that at all. It's just a structure to help you understand when you are coaching your client. No matter what they present with, they come to you with a feeling, you pop it in that F line. They come to you with a thought, you pop it in the T line. Now why does it matter? Okay, if a client comes to you and they are feeling frustrated, I would take that F, frustrated and put it in that F line. Okay, I'd write it right here. At this point, you just need to feel in the rest of the model. Now you don't need to tell your client, "I'm feeling in your model right now." You can just do it in your minds eye.
The first question I would ask is why. Why are you feeling frustrated? They are going to give you their thought of why they are feeling frustrated. They may say, "I just have so much to do." Okay, that is their thought. When they think this thought, I have so much to do, then they are feeling frustrated because they feel like they don't have enough time to do it, right, so much to do and maybe it's so little time, right. Many of my clients present with this when they come to this session, right. I have so much to do and little time and I'm feeling frustrated. It's important for you to know as the coach that the reason why they are feeling frustrated is because they are thinking they have so much to do and there is so little time.
It's not because this is a fact. That is really important, knowing that it's just the thought they are having and one of the best ways to clear this up for them is asked them exactly what do you have to do, what are the facts there and a lot of times when client start really listing what they have to do, it's very short list because most things we don't have to do and once we start really clearing up all the things that they want to do for the day, then they find out that this thought is not necessary and it's not serving them and then I ask them, right, I just fill in the rest of my model.
When you are frustrated, what do you do, and it's fascinating because most of my clients they don't get frustrated and start taking care of all the things they need to do, they get frustrated and they watch TV or they over eat or they feel immobilize, right. Let's just put watch TV here, right, because they feel so overwhelmed, that they feel like they need a break. Now the reason they are feeling frustrated is because they have much to do with little time causes them to feel frustrated and then they just watch TV, right, which the result is nothing gets done which of course proves that there are much to do and so little time and this maybe like 5 items to do.
Now the reason why this is powerful is because many clients don't realize that this thought is optional. It's not something they have to be thinking. They can choose to think I have things I want to do today and I have plenty of time to get it done and that's usually the truth when you break it down with your client. They don't even know that they are thinking this, they think this is just a reality. By showing them that all problems really boil down to thought problems, then you can coach a client very easily through any problem.