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Ep #1: Why You Aren’t Taking Action

Welcome to the very first episode of The Life Coach School podcast. I co-founded The Life Coach School with my husband, Chris Castillo and we created the school out of our love for life coaching and weight management coaching.

We wanted to give you a chance to get to know us before you ever sign up for any of our training or courses, and we hope this podcast will give you the information that you need to lead you on a path of understanding and ultimately make the positive decisions that you are capable of.

What You will discover

  • The basic premise of “The Model” and how it reflects the workings of the world.
  • That we can control our thoughts, and our thoughts are what create our feelings.
  • How to change what you are thinking to achieve different results in your life.
  • That by changing your thoughts and feelings, changing your actions becomes vastly easier.
  • Why you MUST understand yourself before you can change yourself.
  • How asking yourself “Why?” is the best way to get to know what is going on inside your mind.

Get the Full Episode Transcript:

download the transcript

Episode Transcript:

Welcome to The Life Coach School podcast, where it’s all about real clients, real problems and real coaching. And now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.
You are listening to The Life Coach School podcast with Brooke Castillo, episode number one. Hi, everybody, and welcome to The Life Coach School podcast. This is our first podcast that we’ve ever done, and I was going to spend this whole first podcast giving you an introduction to The Life Coach School and me and what we are all about. But what I decided to do is just give you something that you really genuinely want, which is a lesson. You’ve come here to learn something that we have to offer at the school.
So what I’ll do is, I will intersperse our story throughout all of the upcoming podcast, so you will get a sense of who we are and what we do and why we do it. But let me just preface all of this by saying that The Life Coach School was created because of our love for life coaching, and for weight coaching. I cofounded it with my husband, Chris Castillo, and he handles all the backend customer service technical part of our business, and I handle the teaching and the coaching and I think all the fun part of it.
So it’s amazing owning this business with my husband, we have just an amazing time together. So we really decided to do this podcast because I have so much to teach and so much to offer, and we really want to give you a chance to get to know us before you ever sign-up for a training, and we hope this podcast will do that for you.
So let’s start with the topic, which is today, which is why you aren’t taking action. I would say that constantly I get emails, and even when I’m talking to clients and talking to people, one of the most frustrating things for them is their seemingly inability to take action. They have all these dreams and ideas and things that they want to do, and they try and try and try to do them but they just can’t get themselves motivated to do it. And they always want to ask me why is it that I can’t eat only when I’m hungry? Why isn’t that I can’t exercise? Why isn’t that I’m not building my coaching business? Why is it that I’m constantly angry and I can’t be kind to my kids?
And it all comes down to the same answer, which I think is great to know. One of the tools that we teach, our main tool that we teach at the school is called the model, we call it the Self-Coaching Model. And it’s a model I created based on all of my teachers and all of my mentors and all of their ideas that were so brilliant, I’m heavily inspired by Byron Katie and Eckhardt Tolle and Abraham, and many of the forward thought thinkers of our generation.
And what I noticed with their work is, although I loved it all, I couldn’t find a daily practice that really resonated with me. So I decided to create the model as really a way to coach myself through my own thinking. And the basic premise of the model, which I did not invent, it is the basic premise of how the world works is this. There are circumstances in the world that those are the things that we cannot control. Everything that happens outside of us is a circumstance. And that’s just a given, there are so many things that we can’t control.
We can’t control other people, we can’t control our past because it’s already done. We can’t control anything that happened out there in the world, and those are all of our circumstances. And really those are the only things that we can’t control in our lives, the rest of the components of the model include our thoughts, our feelings, our actions and our results. And all of those things are within our control. Now we forget that often. We think that everything is either in our control or nothing is in our control. And it never is that way. It’s always that circumstances are not within our control, and everything else is.
So again, circumstances are other people, other people are not within our control. I’m sorry, but it’s true. They are does not. And the world out there is not within our control, and are past even though we keep trying to change it, it’s just not within our control to change, but everything else is. And everything in our present experience is within our control. What we decide to think, what we think about the conscious thoughts that go through our head are completely within our control.
Now we forget this, we don’t remember that everything is within our control. We think that our thoughts are not within our control, and in fact most of us don’t even know what we are thinking. We are responding to our thoughts that we aren’t even aware of.
Now why does this matter? It really, really matters because our thoughts are what create our feelings. And everything you do in your life is because you want to feel a certain way, every single thing you do is because you want to feel a certain way. That’s just really good to know. And if your feelings are caused by your thoughts and everything you do in your life is in order to feel better, wouldn’t it be important to know what you’re thinking? It absolutely would.
And the problem is nobody teaches us this. They don’t pull us aside and say, “Okay, here is the deal.” Everything you want in your life is because of a feeling. The feeling that you think you will have in getting it or the feeling you think you will avoid in not getting it. So if feelings are the most important thing, don’t you think they should teach us that all of our feelings are caused by our thoughts and maybe we should learn how to think on purpose, so we can create the feelings that we want. That would have been amazing. I really wish someone would pull us aside, freshman year. Freshman year, the misery of freshman year, and taught us this very thing.
So our thoughts create our feelings. Now our feelings are also important because they drive all of our actions. They are the fuel for our actions. So when you ask me the question, why am I not taking action? It’s because of the way you feel. Or why are you taking an action you don’t want to be taking? It’s because of the way you feel. So your feelings are driving your actions. And then, of course, your actions are always going to create the results you want in your life or you don’t want in your life. Your actions create your results.
So let me summarize this again, your thoughts, those sentences in your mind are what create your feelings. Your feelings are what drive your actions and your actions create your results. Now this is very clean and simple way of looking at the world, and it is 100% accurate. I have not found any examples where this is not the case. Everything you learned in all the cognitive thought work that you’ll ever study, I have a degree in Psychology, I studied at Santa Clara University. Everything they teach you is about your thinking, and your thinking creating your feelings, and your feelings driving your actions, and your actions given you your results.
Now what determines what we think? That is the next logical question. If my thinking is driving everything, if it’s creating my feelings, if it’s creating my actions, if it’s creating my results, then I need to know what I’m thinking. And I also need to know how to change that thinking if I want a different result in my life.
So most of us have never been taught to witness our own thinking to compassionately observe our own thinking, and it’s a practice that takes practice, really. So what I mean by that is the process of watching your mind think requires you to separate yourself from your own mind. And most of us don’t make that separation, we don’t even recognize that there is a separation there. So in order to go into that observer mode, we have to separate ourselves from our mind in order to watch ourselves think.
And this is what a lot of meditation is based on. And I’ve never been one that could just sit and meditate for hours and hours, but I can sit and watch my brain think, and I can be in that space of recognizing my own thinking. And once you start doing that, once you start noticing what your own mind is thinking, you might be a little flabbergasted. And you might also say to yourself, “Oh, will that totally makes sense?” When I’ve learned that my thoughts create my feelings and my actions and my results and then I look at my mind, I can see exactly why I’m getting the results I’m getting in my life. My mind is creating them, that’s where it’s all starting.
So a lot of students will come to me and they’ll say, “Okay, so I’ve had a look inside my mind, and I have observed it, and I don’t like any of it, and I want to change it all immediately.” And this is pretty common for all of us, we start looking at our mind, we start being more conscious, and it’s amazing that number of negative thoughts we have. We have like 60,000 thoughts per day. And if you’ve never directed your mind or never told your mind what to think, it may be thinking old thoughts from childhood, in maybe on a negative spin cycle, thinking a lot of negative thoughts. Who knows? It’s been an unsupervised toddler, basically running rampant.
I like to picture the mind when it’s unsupervised as like a two-year-old left in the house unsupervised. It may have sharp objects and maybe running around with them. And once you turn the light on in your mind, you maybe tempted to turn it right back off. And I’ve had this happen with a lot of people that I’ve coached. They start looking in their mind and they start recognizing how much pain they are in and how much negativity they are creating, and they just don’t want to deal with it. And that’s totally fine, but it really denies you of all of your power and all of your ability to change.
If you change in your life without understanding this, it’s much more challenging. And let me tell you why. Most of us try to make change from the action piece of our lives. So if you think about this, remember what I just taught you, your thoughts create your feelings, which drive your actions.
Now if you try and change or action without changing the thought or the feeling that’s driving the action, you’re going to have a struggle, because you’re going to have to work against that feeling and that thought that’s creating that feeling. So that’s why for so many of us change is so frustrating because we try to change how much we are eating or we try to change exercising, or we try to stop procrastinating without changing the thought and feeling that is driving that very thing that we are doing.
And when you can instead really get a hold of why you are not doing something or why you are doing something, then it will reveal to you the thought and feeling combination that’s driving it. When you change the thought and feeling, the changing the action becomes so much easier. That’s why a lot of people will, for example, smokers will be chain-smokers, they will try to quit many, many, many, many times and they have been unable to quit. And then they’ll get a diagnosis.
This happened to my mother-in-law. They will get a diagnosis of cancer or of something else that has been brought on by their smoking. And immediately they will be able to change their action, they will be able to quit smoking. What’s changed? The only thing that’s changed is their mind, they were told something that switched that thought in there and made it, so the feeling, and the feeling driving that action were completely changed. And therefore the ability to quit smoking became easier.
People that have been unable to quit for years immediately and cold turkey stopped for ever. This has happened over and over and over again with my clients. When they start to understand why they’re doing something or why they are not doing something, they understand their inaction or they understand why they can’t take action because of the thought and a feeling that’s driving it. And they decide to change that thought pattern and change that feeling pattern, they are able to change the actions so much more easily.
And that’s really what coaching is all about. It’s about finding the cause of our habits, the cause of our patterns, why we do what we do. And when we discover that, change is so much easier.
So let me give you an example, so you might be able to play this out in your own life because understanding this can change everything. And when you first hear something like this, you might be like, what the ... what is she talking about? I don’t know. Or maybe this is obvious to you, I’ve taught this to people who are like, of course, that’s how the world works. Isn’t that amazing that you’ve known that, why didn’t you share with us? Oh my gosh, I wish I could have learned this so many years ago.
So when you start to understand this, you can think about something in your life, and my background is in weight coaching. I started off as a weight loss coach, and I spent many years just coaching clients who wanted to lose weight. So I use an example there. And actually this example is also found in my book, If I’m So Smart, Why Can’t I Lose Weight? And you can get that in Amazon, if you would like to. And it just basically covers all my tools for weight loss.
But I want to give you an example to demonstrate how this, why you’re not taking action works? So I had a client who really wanted to start exercising. It was really important to her that she lose weight, she wanted to be healthier, so she wanted to start exercising. She wanted to start taking that action, and she just could not get herself to do it. She would write it all out, she would set reminders, she would get it on her schedule, she would plan it. Nothing. As soon as it came time to do it, she wouldn’t do it.
So I asked her to remember what I had taught her about how all of our thoughts drive all of our feelings, which drive all of our action, reaction or inaction. So in this case it was inaction. She wasn’t exercising. So I asked her, I said, “What do you feel when you don’t exercise?” And she said, “Right before I decide that I’m not going to exercise, I just feel apathetic.” I feel no drive at all. And I said, “Okay, what are you thinking that’s causing the feeling of apathetic?” So remember our thoughts cause our feelings, cause our actions or inaction.
So I knew that her feeling was apathetic, I knew that apathetic was creating this inaction, this lack of exercise. So I needed to find out what was the thought creating apathetic? And what we found out was that she was thinking it wouldn’t matter anyway. She had exercised before, she hadn’t seen any results, she didn’t really want to exercise, she didn’t see it as something that she enjoyed doing. She was telling herself that she had to do it to get results, and yet her thought was, it’s not going to matter anyway, which created the feeling of apathetic, which, of course drove inaction. It drove her not to exercise.
Now typically when a client discovers something like this, they want to immediately change it. What I told her is I said, listen, let’s just understand this with some compassion. So many of us spend so much time beating ourselves up, and it’s one thing I don’t allow any of my clients to do. I tell them, “Listen, hey, we are not going to beat ourselves up today, we are not going to beat ourselves up ever again if we can help it. What we are going to do though is understand with curiosity and fascination why you do what you do?” Because I believe that everyone has a really good reason for why they do what they do or why they don’t do what they don’t do.
And if we don’t take the time to really have some compassion and be curious with ourselves, we won’t reveal our truths to ourselves. So when she discovered this pattern, when she recognized that she was creating her own apathy, she was the one creating that emotion that was driving her inaction, she started to get mad at herself. And, “Oh gosh, I can’t believe I’m doing that.” And I said, “No, no, let’s wait a minute. Let’s have a look at this. If somebody told you that they didn’t think something mattered, wouldn’t you want to listen to them? Wouldn’t you want to understand why they were saying that? And let’s have that same compassion with ourselves.”
And that’s really what I think the most important piece of coaching is, it’s really revealing ourselves to ourselves and developing that relationship where we can trust ourselves. So she decided just to notice it, she decided to pay attention to it, and I asked her not to change it. I said I think for you to fully understand it, you need to be patient with yourself and fully understand the pattern, and why you are thinking that way.
And as she was able to watch this pattern in herself and see it with compassion and understand why she was doing it, and literally not doing it, she understood. And from there, when she understood like, of course, this is what you are thinking, you are exasperated with all of the things you’ve tried to do. You’ve been beating yourself up, you’ve been putting yourself on these crazy diet, you had been making yourself for years to crazy exercise regimes that were punishing and painful. And now, of course, you are apathetic towards it.
And when she was able to connect with herself, and give herself really her due to like understand that the reason why she was thinking that made sense, like of course that’s what she was thinking. From there she could really decide whether she wanted to change the way she was thinking or not. But you can’t really change your thinking until you understand it.
So in the upcoming podcast, we are going to talk a lot about how to change your thinking and how to think deliberately and how to create a motion that you want to create. But I purposely don’t want to go into that in this podcast because one of the things that I want you to understand, really to know is that you must understand yourself before you can change yourself.
You must be in a place of compassion and understanding and love, and from there you can ignite yourself to change. You cannot struggle yourself into change, you cannot beat yourself into change, it will not be permanent, and it will not last, whether you are trying to lose weight or you are trying to do something in your life, create something in your life, you can’t do it with force because you will buckle under the pressure. And you can’t do it with willpower because you are against you, you are trying to defeat your own mind with your own mind.
And the mind loves to repeat itself, it likes to look for patterns, and it likes to be efficient. So once the brain and the mind had been thinking the same thoughts over and over and over and over and over again because it’s been unsupervised, and it has … You haven’t even been aware that you are thinking these thoughts. To change it requires practice and skill. And if you’re trying to change it without understanding it, you’re going to be in a battle with your own mind. And, of course, when it is you against you, you are going to be the loser.
So I really want to emphasize that once you understand that your thoughts create your feelings, which create your actions, and that’s why you are not taking action or that’s why you are doing something you don’t want to do, that you take a breath, understand the pattern and not beat yourself up for it.
The other example that people always are coming to me with is overeating. Now remember if you are overeating, that’s an action, it’s fueled by a feeling, which is created. That feeling is created by a thought. So you have to back it up, what is this feeling that I’m having when I’m overeating? And most people will say anxiety, most people will say resistance. For some it’s frustration, for some it’s apathy, for some it’s hostility, loathing. Whatever it is, you need to not just try to stop overeating because you probably have and it probably didn’t work. You need to look at that action that you are taking and understand it, what is the feeling fueling it? And if it’s anxiety, then what is the thought that’s creating that anxiety?
And when you understand what you are thinking, and that that thought is creating anxiety, for example, one of my clients was having the thought constantly, I’m going to miss out, there is not going to be enough and I’m going to miss out. That’s what she was constantly thinking. She wasn’t aware of this at all. This was a thought she’d been thinking since she was a little kid, but it wasn’t serving her as an adult. So when she discovered that she was having that thought, she was like, “Well, that’s ridiculous. Why am I even thinking that? That’s so dumb, I’m just going to stop thinking that.”
And again, I told her, “Whoa, slow down the train. Let’s understand this thought, let’s understand this pattern before we just jump on, beating ourselves up over it.” Like let’s really see if it makes sense because usually everything we do, even if it seems illogical on the surface, we usually have a very good reason for it. So if we take the time to be curious and fascinated with ourselves, we can find that answer.
And for her, as a child there wasn’t enough, there wasn’t enough love, and there wasn’t enough food. So as an adult that pattern, because when she was a child, when she thought those thoughts, they created really strong emotions in her, the same thing happened to her as an adult. As she thought those thoughts, it created a lot of emotion for her. And that drove her overeating. So even when she tried to stop overeating, and she tried to replace it with there is plenty, there is so much food, it will be fine, she wasn’t going to be able to do that until she understood what the cause was.
And once she did then she could comfort herself and be kind to herself without using food, and without the anxiety that she was creating, she didn’t have the need to overeat. I have seen it thousands and thousands and thousands of times when you take the time to really understand why you do what you do, from there you can start to change it.
It doesn’t mean you have to go back into your past, it doesn’t mean you have to sit on a therapist couch and talk about any kind of anything that happened when you are a child. All you have to know is that the thought you are thinking now, and that you might have been thinking since you are a child is what’s causing your pain. You don’t have to understand exactly why you are thinking it as an adult, you just have to recognize that you are, and be kind to yourself in that recognition.
So let me just summarize what I taught you, because I gave you a lot in this first podcast, and I know for some of you who haven’t been exposed to me before, this might be mind-blowing; for others of you, this might seem very basic. But I want to take you through the process, and really make sure that you understand that every action in your life is because of a feeling. And every feeling in your life is because of the thought you are thinking.
So step one is to really begin to look inside your mind and see what you are thinking, to become conscious of your thoughts to ask yourself why. When it comes to anything in your life, if you ask yourself why you are doing something that you are doing, why you are feeling the way you are feeling, the answer that you give yourself will always be a thought. And that is the best way to get to know what’s going on inside your mind, because what’s going on inside your mind is what will determine how you feel, act and the results you get.
So practice this. If you look in the show notes, there will be an example of this model, the Self-Coaching Model, so you can see it visually. So you just need to go to TheLifeCoachSchool.com/One, which will be the first episode of the podcast, and you can go there and look at these show notes and get a sense of this model. And there is also going to be a blank sheet there where you can practice with something that maybe you are doing in your life that you want to change or something that you’re not doing that you want to change. Remember to be patient, give yourself a chance to really understand yourself, and only then can you decide if you want to change.
So that’s enough for the first session, I hope you enjoyed it. It has been my pleasure to be here with you and to begin this process of teaching you what we teach at The Life Coach School until next time, but that’d be soon. Bye.
Thank you for listening to The Life Coach School podcast. It would be incredibly awesome if you would take a moment to write a quick review on iTunes. For any questions, comments or coaching issues you’d like to hear on the show, please visit us at http://www.TheLifeCoachSchool.com.

58 Comments

  1. I was wondering if there was another word for being in anxiety for overeating. Or are there different kinds of levels of anxiety when it comes to eating. When I am having an episode of anxiety, I cannot eat at all. I have to force myself to eat something and it hurts my system.

    Thank you,

    Lynne

  2. Hi Lynne-

    This is such a good point. So many of my clients eat when they feel anxiety. They do it as a way to distract them from the anxiety. Anxiety is really a way of resisting emotion. I call it a cover emotion.

    And yes, other people find that when they are anxious they can’t eat at all. Especially with severe cases of anxiety, there can be tremendous weight loss because of this. Also, this is very common in anorexia.

    The ultimate goal is to be able to recognize the anxiety and drop in to really feel instead of trying to resist it.

    Brooke

  3. looking for show notes/model but cannot seem to find it on this page
    i would like to apply the exercise to my life … please advise

    thank you
    patricia

  4. Hi Brooke –

    Thank you so much for sharing this great information!

    I just spent a six hour drive churning through a bunch of your podcasts and can’t wait to go home and do the worksheets as well.

    Your content is clear and easy to listen to and understand – and you answer every question I think of as you progress through the session like you are reading my mind.

    I can’t wait to put your advice to good use!

    Thank you again,

    Christine.

  5. Hi Christine!

    Thank you for your comments here, I really appreciate that you are enjoying the podcast.

    Look forward to talking to you more!

    Brooke

  6. Hi Brooke!

    I heard you mention a few times that you had a problem with being overweight, and that through healing your thoughts, you released the weight.

    I am currently trying to do the same, but I am having a hard time letting go of idea of my trusty food log (which I hate), to serve as the actual vehicle to losing weight. I can’t seem to find any other way to do the actual job of taking off the pounds, even though it’s brought me much more negative feelings than any other. I am trying to find the correlation between healing the mind like you teach, and releasing the weight, because in my mind, I still don’t see how healing is going to actually help me take weight off (although maybe it will prevent any more weight from going on). Since you have been through this already, I was wondering if you could give some insight to how you handle the actual food and actual eating.

    Thank you for all you do!
    Beth

  7. Hi Beth!

    Again, Check out upcoming episode on Weight Loss I created just for you!

    I will answer all your questions there!

    Brooke

  8. Hi Brooke

    I’m really enjoying listening to your podcasts – thank you.

    I’m really inspired by the idea that happiness has nothing to do with what is going on externally in our lives. I’m a big advocate of meditation, which also focuses on the principle that we control our happiness by changing our thoughts, and that we should live in the present moment.

    I’m currently training to be a life coach and am struggling to reconcile how the principles above fit in with the idea of ‘goal setting’ – which relies on us looking forwards to the future, and imagining an ‘ideal life’, rather than living in the present.

    If our happiness has nothing to do with our circumstances, then what is the purpose of setting career goals/ wanting to make more money/ deciding to make changes to our lives? And if we dislike something in our lives (for example a job), then how can we decide whether we should be changing the circumstance or just our thoughts/ attitude about it?

    I’d love to know your thoughts.

    Many thanks,
    Bea

  9. Ohhhh Beatrice!

    I love this question.

    It assumes that the reason we set goals is so they will make us happy in the future when we achieve them.

    This is what most people believe goals are for and they aren’t.

    Goals, although set in the future, create thoughts in our minds now.

    Those thoughts are either awesome (we believe we can achieve our goals) or terrible (we are filled with self doubt).

    Either way, they reveal the content of our immediate mind and the beliefs we have about our capabilities.

    Growth and evolving are the point here. Happiness is how we can feel through the whole process.

    When we think about our future, we are still in the present. In fact, how we think about our future reveals who we are in the present.

    And changing our present is always something we can do, but I recommend we only make changes from a place of happiness. This prevents us from believing that changing the thing is what will make us happier. We can be happy without changing it, but we still might want to change it. That is what living from abundance truly is.

    Thanks again for such a great question.

    Brooke

  10. Hi Brooke,

    So I started listening to your podcasts on long car rides and I have to say I am enjoying them immensely. They are extremely engaging, easy to listen to and grasp and definitely leave you with a lot to reflect on. The topics you discuss are so important and I wish everyone would listen to your podcasts and learn these simple, yet profound and life changing lessons.

    The idea that our thoughts dictate our feelings which drive our actions is a very basic concept, but one that I think many people don’t know or don’t apply to their daily lives. I have been paying attention to my thoughts more, and where my mind goes to. Understanding how I think about situations and the thoughts that I fill my mind with has been making a big impact on my emotions, my individual days and in turn my overall life.

    I really like the piece about paying attention to your thoughts with compassion and aiming to understand them, not judge them. I can be very critical of myself at times and I am learning to treat myself with the same compassion and patience I extend to others.

    Thank you for your podcast, and all the wonderful information you are making accessible to people. Your work is of great need and the world is much better off because of you.

    Colleen

  11. Hello and good morning,
    I have listened to all of the podcasts throughout the last 6 or 7 months and now have decided to go back to #1 and put into action.
    I listened to this one and my brain finally hooked on to some things that had not been happening in the past. Particulary what you said about people that overeat tend to do that when feeling anxiety. I thought about this and relaized that wehn I feel like overeating I am usually feeling anxious and may other things all at once it seems. Anxiety being the most prevalent but I am usually feeling anxious about many things at the same time and cannot break it down to one to run the model. What is the best course of action in this case? The second part of my question relates to the model and trying to change a thought that you feel you are not quite wanting to change. For instance something at work happened yesterday and I did not feel good about the result but then when trying changing my thought to have a better result, I felt resistance bceause I think that I was right. Thank you for all you do, you rock!!

    Alissa

    1. Hi Alissa!

      First, love that you are going back through and taking action. Brilliant.

      Second, before you can access what is causing your anxiety, try to feel it instead of eating.

      This will be uncomfortable-but it’s a practice.

      Then, from there you will be more able to access your mind. But,for now, stick with just feeling it and allowing it instead of eating.

      For your last question, your awareness is a huge part of this. You just knowing that you would rather be “right” than feel good is huge.

      So I would explore what it means to you to be “right”. And why that’s so worth it.

      Brooke

  12. God bless you ! Your words were so soothing I am in a state of calmness now! Thankyou for revealing it to me that I am not my mind.

  13. If I ask you what will be the best technique for me to acheive what I am aspiring for would you please help me as a coach ?
    I am a boy in my early 20’s persuing just a sole goal which requires elephant hard-work atleast 12 hours of self studying. There are about 10 different subjects for which I have a year to prepare. I have a notion that if i will score well in all of the exams the life would open for me all the vistas of happiness that I have been dreaming for since childhood!
    My problem are that I always make plans and then do nothing. I find it impossible to resist when temptations trigger me. I sleep 12 hours a day. My intuition tells me that ” I am going to be rich and successful person in my future.” But when I analyse my actions I feel absurd! This has become my routine behaviour for many days now. I am despising myself, actually !

    1. Azhar,

      Pick one thing at at time you want to do. Give yourself two full weeks to complete it.

      Then feel the accomplishment of it. That will help you gain some momentum which will help with motivation.

      Brooke

  14. Hi Brooke,

    I have been listening to your various podcasts by choosing a topic that I wanted to hear, but not going in any certain order. Today I found and listened to #1 for the first time as I drove to work. I have listened to you talk about the model before. I have used it, and thought I got it, but listening to you this morning, it was like I heard you talk about it for the first time. I almost cheated myself in thinking ‘I know this, I don’t need to hear it’! Wrong!, I heard you speak of the ‘action’ in the model. I continually keep wanting to consistently make good choices with my weight, coaching and even in making my marriage successful, but I quit before I really begin. It was a lightbulb moment. I see that I can’t take consistent action toward my ideal result if my thoughts and feelings don’t align, My thoughts and feelings have to point me toward the action that I want. I will now use this knowledge as I work the model, without beating myself up. It will take time and patience and a lot of kindness.. I am getting closer all the time. Also, thank you, thank you thank you for offering these podcasts to us. I feel blessed to listen to them. I just put them all on my iPod and I am enjoying and learning with them. I plan to really work on podcast #1 this week before moving on to another. Debi

  15. i think you’re a genius brooke castillo!

    i’m eating this stuff up!

    and i’m so grateful to you that it’s all here, for FREE!!?? WOW!!!!

    thank you,

    wendy

  16. I have just started listening to your podcasts while I walk over the past few weeks. I am loving them and just wanted to thank you for doing it each week! I started with the first one but then have been skipping around a bit because I wanted to hear Lessons from Byron Katie (loved it!) and the other teachers you have featured as well. I have now recommended them to at least two other people I know will really benefit from them and signed up for your newsletter as well. You have a way of making all of this very real and ready to implement. Thanks!

  17. Hi Brooke,
    You are amazing, I have been listening to your podcasts.. you have helped my son and a lost 24 year old. I have been able to pass on your podcasts to help others with their lives. You have also helped me in my life too.

  18. Hi Brooke,

    Thank you so much for your awesome podcasts.

    I have listened to many coaches, but you are the first who has truly resonated with me. Everything you say is so clear and makes perfect sense!

    I am trying to work on a project which will give me financial freedom, but I am really struggling as my thoughts are I can’t, and it’s too uncertain so just carry on in your 9-5. I know I need to use CTFAR but I keep hitting a wall!

    Thanks so much for making me understand everything thus far, and for speaking to all of us like an individual xxx

  19. Starting over again and working through each podcast. Been studying Abraham for 3 months and will continue to take in those teachings, but want to go back through your work over the summer.

  20. I’m dealing with so many feelings of worthlessness. I just got a job (I’ve failed in having my own business twice) and I’m happy about that, but am worried I’m going to commit some act of self-sabotage. I am heartbroken after being completely rejected by my son’s father (who already found a new girlfriend) and I’m overeating. And since I haven’t been working, I’ve been isolated, alone on my couch for most of my time the last few months. I’m in a bad way.

    Today I found your podcast and I feel hopeful for the first time in a long time. I listened to the first 2 episodes. I can see where my feelings of worthlessness are driving my actions. Thank you so much. This is the first time anything has really made sense to me. Thank you so much. I think you just helped jump start what I needed to completely change life.

    Beki

  21. Brook
    I just by chance saw a post on Pintrest. I have since been so blessed by your words of wisdom and hard work. I have been working on myself for a long time. I have abuse in my background and gone to several different councilors. They did give me tools to start but never really got results until I did the work to change my ways of thinking. I have told several people how much I love your podcast. How I wish I had them when I was in my 20’s I have daughters that I am now sharing your words of wisdom with so that they can break free from my past that has been injected into their future. I love being a coach for them. I just want to share the wealth in a way that is not telling them what to do but listening and suggesting a thought in a kind and loving way verses how I would have done in the past told them how to fix it for them. I also believe if we show love to others that have hurt us it takes their power away learned this the hardest way. There is Power in our thoughts. We can do anything if we don’t let fear get in our way. I am involved in a women’s ministry and I look forward to using my new found coaching skills to help others I am on the pink cloud I have drank the kool aid ! May God bless you and your family as you have truly blessed mine. Thank you!
    PS Sorry so long but you said you wanted to hear from us. lol

    1. Susanne,

      Thank you for taking the time to post your feedback. Brooke reads (and is incredibly grateful) for all of these comments. We are so happy to hear her work resonates with you and that you are sharing it with your family and ministry. Stay tuned as Brooke addresses this in an upcoming podcast.

      Carina

  22. I just re-listened to the first podcast this morning. I first listened a few weeks ago when I wasn’t able to write down any reflections or really let it sink in. It’s been a couple hours and I had an urge to write down thoughts I was having. And then I felt an urge to come here and thank you for what you’re doing and what you’re saying. I’m learning about myself and am terrified and excited for this adventure.

    1. Hi Victoria,

      Thank you for taking the time to post your comment here. Brooke reads all of these and certainly appreciates the feedback!

      Carina

  23. I just wanted to say, I have been listening to Brooke’s podcasts for about 3 months now and have told many friends and family and they have also downloaded. Just decided to go back to the First and actually do the work it takes to make a change and not just listen passively. Thank you so much for having such a fabulous format. Now the real work on myself can begin!

    1. Hi Marilyn,

      Thank you for being a loyal listener and for sharing the podcast with your friends and family. Brooke certainly appreciates it!

      Carina

  24. I have such a connection to your model and views. Also to the fact that you include a focus for coaching weight loss. There are other schools out there, but none that I have found the immediate connection and like-mindedness that I find here. I very much look forward to finding an opening at The Life Coach School to complete training and begin helping others find the way back to the core of what is driving their feelings and reality. You’ve even inspired me to dig out my copy of Eckhart and reread. Excellent, excellent, excellent. Love from a fan and future Life Coach.

    1. Hi Joann,

      Thank you for taking the time to post your feedback. Brooke reads all of these comments and certainly appreciates them! We look forward to having you on board for a future in-person training!

      Carina

  25. Really honing in now in on the model for my (self) coaching training.
    What Brooke gives away on the podcasts can easily be missed at first listen.
    Eventually we’ll all be working together someday changing our corner of the world with these simple concepts.

    Life’s simple. But no one said it was easy.

    Just a THOUGHT. 🙂

  26. Hi Brooke,

    We are renovating our house in Sweden (long term dream!) and while I painted our doors this summer, I listened to lots of podcasts including the episode you did on The Lively Show. It left an impression. Then this autumn, I did the Life With Intention Online course with Jess, and through that process, listened to my intuition consciously, and allowed myself to dream about being a life coach, and I set up a new website to record my explorations (I was finding wordpress really clunky, and thought I would try out squarespace).

    Since then, I started listening some of your Life Coach School Podcasts. Then I found your ‘How to Become a Life Coach ‘. I have learnt so much! I am really grateful that you make the time and put so much effort into your podcasts, so thank you! In one of them, you said that if you want to become a life coach, first you have to coach yourself. And it’s best to pick one teacher and stick with them rather than going all over the shop as they will contradict themselves.

    So I have done just that. For now, I’ve stopped listening to the ‘How to Become’ and I have set myself a ‘Coach Myself’ project. My plan is to listen to all the Life Coach School episodes (I calculated 103, so roughly one a day) by 1st March. I will listen to a podcast in the morning, write up the notes as a blog post, then do the exercise and write up my practice and reflections that evening.

    I wasn’t intending to share these posts with others, but in one of the episodes you asked about our plans, so I thought I would share them here. (When I set up as a life coach, I think I will stick with squarespace as I enjoy it much more than wordpress and I will point my squarespace page to my domain etc but for now, I want to keep this more private/for people that are also coaching themselves). So here it is https://hedvig-murray.squarespace.com/blog/2015/11/9/coach-myself-day-1-why-arent-i-taking-action

    I intend to do further projects (coach others and create a life coaching business). So here goes!

    1. Hi Hedvig,

      Thank you so much for the feedback! So happy to hear the podcasts have resonated with you and that you have a Self Coaching plan in place.

      Carina | The Life Coach School

  27. Wow, I just discovered your podcasts. For someone who is prone to depression and terrible at managing my thoughts, I think these podcasts will be a godsend. Thanks so much for sharing your insights and wisdom.

  28. I am just beginning the life coach/entrepreneur career path. I have no idea what I’m doing or where to begin, I just know it’s my passion and life purpose. This first podcast was absolutely wonderful! Thank you so much for doing this for people like me. I am so excited about learning from you!

  29. Brooke, This letter is long overdue. Long story short. I got it! Back in 2012, I hiked the entire Appalachian Trail (AT), all 2,184 miles of it from Georgia to Maine. It was the dream of a lifetime and the hardest thing I ever did. Over the course of 6 months, 3 weeks and 2 days, I lost about 50 pounds of unwanted weight. It wasn’t the first time I lost more than 50 pounds intentionally or unintentially.
    When I returned from my grand adventure I told myself an untruth, but I didn’t know it at the time. I told myself that my husband had been so great to support me emotionally for this entire time that I couldn’t think about leaving again – this was the beginning and ending of my adventurous life. That was not the circumstance, it was just the meaning I gave it. In 2013, I did go on a two-week backpacking trip and then back to celebrate the AT at the annual Trail Days festival. It was great fun! On the last day of the festival I developed a pain in my right shoulder that progressed over the next 7 months into Rheumatoid Arthritis.
    I had taken a healthy body, made it healthier on the hike, and then with my thoughts I invited disease into my life. For the next year and a half I lived in a state of pain and what I learned was depression. As I am not normally a depressed person I didn’t recognize it for what it was until I got better. And I have you to thank for providing the information I needed. I have learned so much from the 107 podcasts you have brilliantly produced.
    This is how it happened. I was helping my husband build a pergola by applying the wood sealer on cedar lumber. While doing this for 2 to 3 hours for several days in a row, while binge listening to your podcast, starting with #1 Why You Aren’t Taking Action. After about 3 days I realized the deep message of these podcasts and I thought I could really benefit by sitting down daily and listening to one podcast, take notes and do any activities that you suggested.
    And I was right! I could feel myself growing stronger and more in charge of my life, my thoughts and my actions. On 7-13-16 I weighed 178 pounds and spent 2 months before hearing your message losing a total of 7 pounds. In mid-August I discovered a new diet plan that focused on diet, exercise and a positive mindset. It made sense.
    After hearing your teaching I started a new routine. Every day I sat with my 3-ring notebook and listened to your podcast; I did the exercise you suggested; and the notebook grew to include my goals, gratitudes, and 25 things I appreciate about myself. I included a weekly weight loss chart that I used to plot my weight loss success. I gradually increased my activities to include an hour walk 6 days a week. I ate the food plan and I had “your model”. My days flowed by, I learned to sit with fearful thoughts/feelings and grew.
    The absolute truth is that the excess weight just fell off me. I lost 40 pounds and reached my weight loss goal within 4 months without strain. It was when I started living again I realized I had been in a deep depression and mentioned it to my husband. He said he was so glad to have me back. And to think it all started with a “wrong” thought. I continue to listen and re-listen to your podcasts.
    I have to say that when I started this journey with you in August I decided it would be good to have someone to talk to along the way and started working with a therapist. I told her about your podcast and how much I was learning about my thoughts. I still can have some “wild” thoughts, but with your model I am usually able to see what’s going on and come out of the wrong thinking by myself. Your self-coaching model works. Thank you for the most valuable tool in living a mentally healthy life. I’m dreaming up new adventures for my life, because it’s not over by a long shot.

    1. Hi Jann,

      Wow! Thank you so much for being a loyal listener of the podcast and sharing how you have benefitted from Brooke’s work. Brooke appreciates it very much.

      Carina

  30. Hi Brooke,

    I first wanted to say thank you for the life-changing and inspiring ideas that you share. I have listened to your podcasts over many miles while running and I’m now listening from Episode 1, sitting down (!) to take some action and put the model into practice.
    I have many skills but have suffered from low self esteem and anxiety and have found your approach and concepts extremely helpful in beginning to address my thoughts and feelings and the effect they’ve had on my life.
    I had a quick question: I am sharing your ideas with my 10 year old daughter, and to me it makes sense to have this outlook from a young age. Have you ever considered creating material for children?
    Thanks once again.

    1. Hi Dee,

      Thank you for being a loyal listener of the podcast. It’s so great to hear how much you have benefitted from doing so. Great question on creating material for a younger audience. Brooke will address this in an upcoming Questions & Answers episode. Stay tuned!

      Carina

  31. Hi Brooke – I have been listening to your podcast for probably about two years now. I’ve listened to almost every single one of the thus far 119 episodes (minus only a few with weight-loss specific titles… although I have no doubt there’s much non-weight specific wisdom to be gleaned in those too). Anyway, just writing in to let you know that while I was a passive listener, jogging while tuning in (like Dee who commented before me), for almost the entire two years; I just recently (as of about threw weeks ago) had the long-time-coming breakthrough where what you were saying actually *clicked* (FINALLY!). That has led me here, back to the beginning, taking notes and actually filling out my first few CTFAR models. Having had that “aha” moment three weeks ago has been a real eye-opener and will (I assume), with consistent practice, be a life-changer results-wise too. Thank you for what you do (and how extraordinarily well you do it).

  32. Hi Brooke, I just stumbled onto you and your podcast searching subjects on the podcast app. The minimalism episode caught my attention. I have subscribed to your podcast and you tube channel. One message of application and not just consumption resonated with me. I have decided to give it 90 days of a single teacher, weekly concept and daily application. I’m starting with the woo hoo episode number 1!. Thank you. Jim

  33. I’ve just started listening to your podcasts and am getting a tremendous amount of benefit from them already.

    I have a question: At the beginning of the podcast, are you saying “Time to drink”?

    Thanks!
    Kristin

    1. Hi Kristen,

      Thank you for the feedback. Brooke appreciates it!

      I’m not sure what you mean about “time to drink”, but the transcript is posted below the episode. Hope that helps clarify it.

      Carina

  34. I’m now on to Podcast #9: Jealousy. I’ve really been enjoying all the podcasts. This first one, I listened to multiple times, I was really experiencimg some trouble and difficulty after the end of a relationship. Brooke​ has such a great way of putting the ideas of focusing your thoughts and feelings where is is so easy to understand and relate to. This series of podcasts has been a real game-changer for me. I still struggle sometimes, but that’s ok too.

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