Ep #170: Lessons Learned from Wayne Dyer
“Heaven on Earth is a choice you must make, not a place you must find.”
If you’ve been listening to the show for a while, you already know that every 10th episode I talk about one of my most influential teachers who’s had a huge influence on me and my own teachings.
On episode 170 of The Life Coach School Podcast, I’m excited to talk about and share the work of the great American philosopher, bestselling self-help author, and a motivational speaker, Wayne Dyer. Over the course of his career, Wayne wrote more than 40 books, including 21 New York Times bestsellers, created countless audio and video programs, and appeared on thousands of television and radio shows.
Join us as I share some of Wayne’s unforgettable wisdom from his books. I highly recommend that you pick up any of them if you haven’t yet read them. They WILL change your life!
Grab your copy of our new Wisdom From The Life Coach School Podcast book. It covers a decade worth of research, on life-changing topics from the podcast, distilled into only 200 pages. It’s the truest shortcut to self-development we have ever created!
Listen to the show
What You will discover
Wayne Dyer’s teachings on:
- Treating others and yourself
- Finding happiness
- Personal evolution
- Being stuck
- And much more!
Get the Full Episode Transcript:download the transcript
Welcome to The Life Coach School podcast, where it's all about real clients, real problems and real coaching. And now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.
Hello my friends. Oh my gosh! Can you believe we're at 170? That's a hundred and seventy weeks in a row that I have produced a podcast. Isn't that wild? It's so fun. Some of you have been listening to me for years. I love you guys so much. I'm so proud to have reached 170. If you're a new listener, give me a review, would you? I like those reviews. Super fun.
Okay, today we're talking about Wayne Dyer. Every tenth episode I talk about an author, I talk about one of my teachers, I talk about someone who's had a huge influence on me. I was really surprised when I went back through the episodes that I hadn't done Wayne before. If you're a Scholar and you look in the back, I want to make sure you guys know this, if you look in the back of your podcast study guide, there is a list of all of the podcasts I've ever recorded. If you go through there you can see that the 10th episode, it was lessons from Byron Katie. The 20th episode was lessons from Steven Pressfield. And the 30th one was lessons from Pema.
So many of my influences, so many of my teachers are listed on that every 10th episode. I'm trying to see, number 60 was Abraham. If you want to check out who my most influential teachers were and have been, it's every 10th episode, you can go back and check that out. If you're in Scholars you can just look through that list and see and pick which one you want to listen to 'cause they are all there.
Today we're going to talk about Wayne Dyer. Wayne Dyer has since passed away. All through the 80's he was huge. He was a huge presence in the self-help industry and he has written I don't even know how many books, I think it's 40 books. I'll read his bio, it's 40 books he's written. I read most of them. I listen to a lot of them on tape. His voice and everything about him…I feel as if he was such a huge part of my life. I feel like Wayne and Marion Williamson, I think back in the 80's were really such a strong presence in my life 'cause I listened to their audios so often.
I know a lot of you guys feel the same way when I meet you in person. You feel like you know me because the audio that you listen to. You listen to me when you're in the grocery store and you listen to me when you're driving. So I actually had one of my friends say, "Hey, remember when we were driving together in Ohio?" I said, "No." She goes, "Oh that's right, you weren't with me. I was just listening to you on the podcast." It feels like we're together so I totally get that.
I felt that way about Wayne and it's so interesting when he passed away I really felt like a member of my family had passed because he was such a significant influence in my life, much more significant than a lot of the people that I spent time in person with. The other thing that Wayne did for me is that he introduced me to Abraham. He did a PBS special where he talked a lot about Abraham and their work. I feel like their work really took my work to the next level. I'll always be thankful to him for that.
His bio says “Wayne Dyer was an internationally renowned author and speaker in the fields of self development and spiritual growth. Over the four decades of his career, he wrote more than 40 books including 21 New York Times bestsellers. He created many audio and video programs and appeared on thousands of television and radio shows.” He was on Oprah back in the day, I remember watching him on Oprah. Totally amazing!
Another thing that was so interesting about him was that he wrote all of his books on yellow pads. He didn't type them, he wrote them all on pads and had someone else type them, which I think is interesting. And he would wake up at three o'clock in the morning to write. Towards the end of his life he lived in Hawaii on Maui and talked a lot about some amazing spiritual experiences that he had there.
I love you, Wayne. I hope you rest in peace. I feel your presence in this world still. I think your legacy is gorgeous. I think you've left a beautiful legacy for all of us that have come behind you and after you.
“He starred in 10 national public television specials featuring his books Manifest your Destiny, Wisdom of the Ages, There's a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem and the New York Times bestsellers, Ten Secrets for Success and Inner Peace, The Power of Intention Inspiration, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, Excuses be Gone, Wishes Fulfilled and I Can See Clearly Now which raised over $250 million for public television. Dyer was affectionately called the father of motivation by his fans despite a childhood spent in orphanages and foster homes. He overcame many obstacles to make his dreams come true and spent much of his life showing others how to do the same. His main message was that every person has the potential to live an extraordinary life. What's more, it's possible for every person to manifest their deepest desires if they honor their inner divinity and consciously choose to live from their highest self. When not traveling the globe delivering his uplifting words, Dyer wrote from his home in Maui, enjoying the beauty of nature, his swims in the sea, creatures and happy visits from his children and grandchildren. In 2015 he left his body, returning to the infinite source to embark on his next adventure.”
I'm going to read through some of his teachings. I pulled some of my favorites from some of my notes that I had and from the internet. I hope that you enjoy the wisdom of Wayne Dyer and if you've never read his books, I highly recommend. Even though they were written 20 years ago, their wisdom is exactly what we need to hear today.
“How people treat you is their karma. How you react is yours.” If you justify how you behave based on how someone else behaves, it doesn't matter. He wants you to separate those. How people treat is you their karma, how you react is yours. No matter what someone does, this is what I teach on the podcast all the time, people are allowed to be who they are, how you react and how you act may be justified but it's still yours to own.
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” I say this a lot about relationships, how only one person needs to change in the relationship. I remember when I did my work on my mom, I started feeling like my mom was way more understanding and way more communicative and way more available in the way that I needed her to be. My mom didn't change at all. It was just the way that I looked at her changed and so she changed in my eyes. Our experience of the world is how we decide to look at the world. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
“When you judge another you do not define them. You define yourself.” You guys have heard me say this before. Someone's opinion about something tells us about that person, it doesn't tell us about the thing they have the opinion of. This one's huge you guys. I learned this lesson from him a long time ago.
“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.” Come on. I say this a lot to my students who are single and very lonely and very bored. What I tell them is, you're just not enjoying your own company, and that goes both ways. You're not enjoying yourself and that's something that you can work on doing but you're also not being enjoyable. So you can solve both ends of that equation.
“You are not stuck where you are, unless you decide to be.” Being stuck is a decision, you guys. Think about that. I'm stuck. I always ask, "Why are you choosing to be stuck?" Being stuck is a decision you make. Just make sure you like your reason.
“Passion is a feeling that tells you this is the right thing to do. Nothing can stand in my way. It doesn't matter what anyone else says. This feeling is so good that it cannot be ignored. I'm going to follow my bliss and act upon this glorious sensation of joy.” This one's good, you guys.
“All blame is a waste of time.” It's a whole paragraph, but I feel like that sentence could just stand. “All blame is a waste of time.” If you're blaming someone else, or you're blaming yourself, it's a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you're looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that's making you unhappy.
“Your reputation is in the hands of others. That's what the reputation is. You can't control that. The only thing you can control is your character.”
“I am realistic. I expect miracles.”
“When the choice is to be right or to be kind, I always make the choice that brings peace.”
“You have everything you need for complete peace and total happiness right now.” You guys believe that? I'm going to read it again. I want you to really think about it. You have everything you need for complete peace and total happiness right now. Don't you feel like, wait a minute, I need to learn one more thing. I need to get one more thing, I need to get out of debt, I need to make some more money, I need to lose more weight, I need to find that man, I need to have the baby. I need to get my kids off to college, then I'll be complete and happy. You have everything you need for complete peace and happiness right in this minute.
“The more you see yourself as what you'd like to become and act as if what you want is already there, the more you'll activate those dormant forces that will collaborate to transform your dream into your reality.” The more you see yourself as what you'd like to become and act as if what you want is already there, the more you'll activate those dormant forces that will collaborate to transform your dream into your reality. I read it twice because it is so good.
“Conflict cannot survive without your participation.”
“Circumstances do not make a man. They reveal him.”
“You'll see it when you believe it.”
“You don't need to be better than anyone else. You just need to be better than you were yesterday.”
“Heaven on earth is a choice you must make, not a place you must find.”
“Begin to see yourself as a soul with a body rather than a body with a soul.”
When you dance your purpose is not to get to certain place on the floor, it is to enjoy each step along the way.”
“We are not human beings in search of a spiritual experience. we are spiritual beings immersed in a human experience.
“Your children will see what you're all about by what you live rather than by what you say.”
“You can't always control what goes on outside but you can always control what goes on inside.”
“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.”
“In any relationship in which two people become one, the end result is two half people.” That's a crazy one. Think about it. In any relationship in which two people become one, the end result is two half people. So what is the alternative? Everybody remains whole in their own right. We don't have to become one. I think that's what screws up so many relationships of trying to become one person that agree on every single thing and have the same opinions and want to do the same things and like the same food and agree on how often the trash should be taken out and how clean everything should be. What if you just let them be them? 100% them and then you get to be you 100% you? So much more fun.
“Be miserable or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done it's always your choice.”
Oh my God, you guys, this is a good one. Listen. “Each experience in your life was absolutely necessary in order to have gotten you to the next place and the next place up until this very moment. Every experience in your life was absolutely necessary.” Don't you sometimes look at your past, you're like, "Was that really necessary? Did I really have to go through that?" The answer is yes according to Wayne.
“When you are at peace with yourself and love yourself, it is virtually impossible to do things to yourself that are destructive.” So when people say “you shouldn't spend money investing in your mental health, you shouldn't hire a life coach, you shouldn't spend all this time reading self help, you shouldn't spend time meditating or taking care of yourself or taking long walks or going to retreats or doing yoga. It's all a waste of time,” I totally disagree because when you are at peace with yourself and love yourself it is virtually impossible to do things to yourself that are destructive. In fact, it is virtually impossible to do something destructive to anyone else when you are loving yourself and at peace with yourself.
Thank you, Wayne Dyer. I love you so much. I love all of you as well. Take care and have an amazing week. Bye bye.
Hey if you enjoy listening to this podcast you have to come check out Self-coaching Scholars. It's my monthly coaching program where we take all this material and we apply it. We take it to the next level and we study it. Join me over at thelifecoachschool.com/join. Make sure you type in the the. T H E lifecoachschool.com/join. I'd love to have you join me in Self-coaching Scholars. See you there.