Many people don’t talk about money.
They believe it’s a taboo subject, and that it should be kept private.
We keep “money” in the dark. We attach the value of making or not making money to our self worth, instead of seeing money as a tool to create a bigger, better life for ourselves.
Many people feel shame around money because they’ve made mistakes with finances that they’re not sure how to recover from.
If we keep money in the dark, how are we ever going to get better at making, managing, investing, spending, and saving it?
The truth is we won’t.
That’s why, as uncomfortable as it may be for you right now, the best thing to do is talk about money.
Talk about it with your friends, family, colleagues. Talk about it with strangers. And, most importantly, talk about it with yourself.
Asking questions, stating facts, and having conversations about money is going to do way more for you than keeping it to yourself.
4 Steps To Normalize Talking About Money
Money, finances, and debt all used to be considered “personal information,” but the internet and social media has flipped the script.
Now, more people than ever are talking about and sharing about money.
And while this may make us a bit queasy to do with our own finances, it’s one of the best ways to get better at money.
Instead of hiding from discussions about financial matters, we must bring our shame out into the light and have the difficult conversation…
Here’s how to start:
#1. Acknowledge the Connection Between Money and Mental Health
Have you ever heard the expression, “When you look good, you feel good”?
The same concept applies to money.
When there’s enough money in your accounts to cover living expenses, some fun spending, and a bit extra for savings, you feel good and at peace.
If we have just enough to cover our living expenses with no wiggle room for a night out or a movie, we feel fear, stress, and shame. You wonder how you’ll cover your expenses and hope that an emergency doesn’t happen because you don’t have the savings to handle it.
This connection between money and mental health is real, and the first step to manage the emotions around money is to talk about it to open up new possibilities for our thoughts around money.
These conversations are where ideas are born so that you can change your money situation.
#2. Discuss Money Openly
Self worth and salary are often equated.
We tend to think that our money equals our value.
And we’re way too hard on ourselves when we fail with money.
From a young age, we’re usually ushered out of the room when money’s discussed. Why? Because it’s an adult conversation. But, this is the crux of the problem. We’re taught from a very young age that money is not to be discussed with just anyone or with an open door. It’s private, secret, and sacred.
This, however, could not be further from the truth.
Money is a tool; it’s used to create your biggest, best life. And it is a worthy topic of conversation.
Discussions about money help you do a few things:
- Create unique, deep relationships with those who talk about money with you
- Change your thoughts around how money is used, managed, and leveraged
- Feel better about your money situation because you’re not alone
- See the potential for making more out in the world
- Progress toward making more money, giving back more, and building the life you’ve always dreamed about.
Not talking about money is veiled in shame and fear.
Talking about money brings that shame and fear into the light.
You’re more than your money, and it’s time you talked about it.
#3. Talk About Living Expenses
“How much do you pay for where you live?”
This question is usually followed by either envy or judgment, because if you say a high number, the person who asked will envy you for having more money than them. If you say a low number, the person who asked will judge you for not making more. It’s a lose-lose situation.
But, what if you could turn it into a win-win question?
Instead of asking how much you pay, you can ask, “Where do you eventually want to live?”
This question frames the question “How much do you pay for where you live” in a positive light. It sets your sights on the goal and the achievement, not the comparison.
And if the person mentions they’re exactly where they want to be, then it’s a win, as well.
The conversation can shift toward how you can help one another get to that goal together, or how you got to where you are now.
When we talk about our living expenses in a positive light, we look at the person and connect with them on an emotional level.
Talk about your living expenses, the percentage you pay out of your total income, and where you want to eventually live.
Do it in a positive light and celebrate one another.
#4. Share Money Goals and Strategies
We all have different circumstances.
We all face different challenges in our lives.
And we all think about money differently.
While that may seem like a deterrent to talking about money with one another, it’s actually an advantage.
Getting together with friends, family, or colleagues and talking about money opens you (and them) up to how each of you are using money to build your life.
This means your goal and strategies can inspire or grow because of the conversation.
For example, if you’re currently growing your own business, but you’re struggling with taxes each year, then a conversation you have with a friend or family member could reveal how to better manage your finances and reduce tax obligation while keeping more of your money.
When you have regular conversations with people about your money goals and how you’re going about achieving them, you learn more, grow faster, and earn exponentially moreover time.
Keeping your money in the dark holds you back from you biggest, best life.
Instead, get together with peers and coaches and speak freely about financial matters..
Encourage One Another To Make More
Sometimes we can get into trouble when we start talking about money in a way that is comparing, despairing, or competitive.
Instead one of the things you can do is encourage your community and friends to realize how amazing it is to see other people win.
When it comes to dreams, making money, and growing businesses, it’s something to celebrate, not compete against.
Think about it like this:
The more we all make, the more we all win.
Look at the collective.
Have big goals for yourself, obviously, but also know that as you progress toward your goals, you’re inspiring others to do the same.
This is why it’s so important to talk about money.
Because if we don’t, others will have little-to-no reference on how they can win.
You could be the inspiration to change their lives.
Contribute more to the money conversation.
Get Coached in Self Coaching Scholars
If you’re struggling with thoughts or limitations around money, then the Get Coached in Self Coaching Scholars is your next best step.
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