I love the question, “What do you want to create?” When I ask people what they want, oftentimes, they begin thinking of the things that the universe can provide for them rather than thinking about something they can create in their lives. When we understand that we are the ones responsible for creating everything we have in our lives, then we can begin using our minds to create what we truly want.
In this episode of The Life Coach School, we dig into the process for creating things that we want in our lives and talk about the biggest mistake people make around this process. I also explain how you can make this creation process effortless and ensure you don’t give up until you achieve those things.
If you apply and practice the strategies used in this episode, you will never again have to wait and hope for things to miraculously appear in your life. Check it out below…
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What you will discover
- The difference between the questions “What do you want?” and “What do you want to create?”
- The process for creating something that you want in your life.
- Why so many of us stop the creation process.
- How to make that process effortless and ensure you continue to do it.
Featured on the show
Welcome to the Life Coach School podcast where it's all about real clients, real problems, and real coaching. Now, your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.
Woot woot! What's happening? Hi, everyone. It's so nice to see you. Actually I can't see you, but I can hear you. No, I can't hear you but you can hear me. I just had a phone call with someone and she said, "I feel like I'm your best friend and you don't even know me, so I'm glad that I got to talk to you on the phone." This was someone that's considering coming to our in-person training in April which is almost sold out, so if you're thinking about coming, you better get on it. Let's go. It's going to be amazing. I've redone all of the curriculum, you guys. Ridiculous.
Speaking of that, if you're interested in possibly coming in April, you should come check out this webinar I have coming up which is going to be on the 22nd of February and it's going to be at 4 PM Pacific Time. Convert that because you know I'm not going to do math, but you can go to LifeCoachSchool.com and you can go to show notes, which is LifeCoachSchool.com/102, or if you just go to LifeCoachSchool.com, at the very top bar, there's a little green bar up there, it will say Webinar, and you click on there and it will take you right to the webinar sign-in page.
I am going to do a webinar called How to Create a Career as a Life Coach in Any Niche. It's going to be an epic webinar. I'm spending a lot of time on it. I am really going to go through what it takes to build a business in this industry, how you build a business doing it, and a full-on career doing it, and what I believe it takes in terms of your knowledge as a coach and what I think it takes in terms of practicing, and what I think it takes in terms of building a business.
I met with my CFO today and we were talking a lot about what it takes to build a six figure business and he has quite a few clients that are coaches that have six figure businesses; low six figures, medium, and high six figures. We're talking about the differences between them and how the first 100,000 that you make is always the hardest and then it gets easier after that. I'm going to talk about a lot of this on the webinar. I'm looking forward to talking to you guys. I'm going to stay on at the end and answer all of your questions, so I'd love to hear what your concerns are, your questions are. If you are one of my coaches and you want to come on and ask me questions about business building, come on, let's have fun together. Go to the LifeCoachSchool.com, click on the upper bar and you should be rolling.
All right, let's talk about what we're going to talk about today. The name of this podcast is What Do You Want to Create? I love this question because when I ask someone, "What do you want?" a lot of times they start thinking in their mind of things that they want, that they want the universe to provide to them. I like to think about anything that I want as something I want to create in my life. If I want a Mercedes Benz, I want to create that in my life. If I want a trip to Italy, I need to create that in my life. I need to create these opportunities, create these results, create these items in my life so I can enjoy them and have them. When I know that I'm the one that creates them, then I can use my mind to create anything.
One of the things that I want to talk about is that when you want to create something, you are going to need to go through the process of change. You're going to need to change from not having a Mercedes to having a Mercedes; to not having a $100,000 to having a $100,000; from being overweight to losing all your weight. This process of change has to happen. Now, the most important change that you're ever going to make is the initial change that you have to make in your brain. All of the unconscious programming in your brain, all of the thoughts in your brain right now are creating your reality.
Now, I want to be really clear on this, because I think a lot of times people think that's a metaphor. That is not a metaphor. Your reality is created by what you think and it's in more ways than one. In the first way, what you choose to focus on in your life creates your reality. For example, if I look at my life and try to find everything that's great about my life, I'm going to create a great reality for myself by how I filter with my brain. If I look at everything that's terrible in my life, I'm going to create an experience that's really terrible by how I filter in my brain.
In that sense, yes, you are creating your experience of your life by how you filter, but you are also quite literally creating the results in your life by how you think. Your thinking creates your emotions, which create your actions, which create your results. For many of you, you can look at your life and say, "Well, I would have never brought this on." Maybe that's something that you need to choose and how you're looking at it and how you're filtering it, but for most things in your life, you've literally created them. If you're in a relationship, if you're not in a relationship; if you decided to have children, if you decided not to have children; if you have a job that you love, if you have a job that you hate. You've created that in your life.
In order to create something different in your life, you will have to think differently, all right? The way that the brain works is that it has a thought that it learns and it learns that in the pre-frontal cortex. That's where you learn. That's in the front part of your brain, like think about your forehead. Like hit yourself on the forehead, that's when you learn something new. When you learn something new, there's this very light neural pathway that's created. It's enjoyable. It's exciting. You've learned something new. Your brain is happy. It likes learning something new.
Now, in order to retain that knowledge, in order for it to be then passed to the back of your brain where it becomes unconscious, you have to do a lot of repetition. It's just like learning a language. It's just like learning math. It's like learning your ABCs. The way that you learn anything is by repeating it, repeating it, repeating it, repeating it, repeating it. If there is something that you want in your life, something that you want to create, I highly recommend that you do the model backwards.
I told you, we're going to be getting some advanced stuff in this next one, so here's what you have to think about. What is the result that you want in your life? What is it you want to create? Write that down at the bottom of your model. Now, what are the actions that you are going to need to take to accomplish that result, to create that result, to have that result be the effect? What will you have to do? Then what will you have to feel in order to do that on a regular basis or as often as you need to do it? What will you need to think in order to feel that way? I just ran up from the bottom of the model to the top.
Now, that thinking that you will need to be thinking in order to create that result is something that you need to make unconscious. If you have a thought that's unconscious, you just think about it all the time. It just goes on. You don't even have to think about thinking about it. You don't have to remind yourself to think about it. It's like when you're driving to work or you're driving to your kid's school. You don't have to think about where you're going. You just drive there. You've done it enough times that your brain just knows and it's all in the unconscious. That's what you want to do with something that you want to create.
Now, most of us do not know that that is the process of creation. Most of us want to get the thing and then we want to think about it. We don't want to think about it too much ahead of time. That's why many of us stop creating when there's not some preempted script for us. For example, when we are kids in grade school, we have a pre-script for us that we are then going to go to high school and then we're going to go to college and then we're going to get married and then we're going to have a couple of kids and then we're going to get a job or whatever order that is for you. You know what you're supposed to be thinking about ahead of time.
Well, a lot of us then get to that point and we stop thinking ahead of time. We stop thinking about what we want and we stop creating for ourselves. This is the way that you do that. You find out what is the result that you want and what will you need to thin and believe in order to create that result? Then you have to practice thinking that and believing that ahead of time.
Now, where you will end up is what I call the space between the models. You'll have the model that you currently have, which is "I can't afford a Mercedes" and then you'll have the thought that you want to believe, "I can easily afford this beautiful car." You're in between those two models. The way that you will know that is because you won't yet believe that new thought and it won't create the feeling that you're wanting it to create for you. That's how you know that you're not quite believing that new model yet and you're stuck in between.
I like to call that stuck in between space the river of misery. I do it especially with my life coaching students who want to create a business. They believe, "I don't think I can build my own business," and the belief they want is I can build my business to six figures," and the space in between is the river of misery. Now, if you're willing to go through that discomfort of holding two thoughts simultaneously, of being in that cognitive dissonance, that is how you will create the new model. Now, the best way that I know of to create the new model is repetition, is to practice it.
One of the things that I like to really focus on is this idea of the mental rehearsal, of rehearsing something in your mind before you get it, of creating that neural pathway that then creates the feeling then creates the action of creating it. Now, a lot of us, part of the problem that we have such a hard time believing the new thought is we don't allow ourselves to be clear on what the action is we need to take. We keep asking ourselves, "How will we do this? How will we do this? We have to know exactly how we'll do it." You don't have to know exactly how you're going to do something. In fact, a lot of times, you can't even wrap your mind around the process.
What I want to teach you is how to mentally rehearse a thought that will create the results you want before you have the exact action that you might need to be taking. The way that you do that is by literally thinking about it like you were studying for a part in a play. One of the things I ask my students all the time is "What makes something effortless and sustainable?" What makes something so you don't even have to think about it and you know you will continue to do it? The example that everybody ever uses is brushing your teeth. It's not something you have to think about. You do it every day. It's pretty sustainable. That's pretty effortless because you've practiced it so many times over and over and over and over again.
One of the practices that I have been teaching my students to do is to write down the thoughts that they want to believe in order to create the life they want, and then to visualize themselves as that character living the life. If you are going to study for a part in a play, you have to memorize the lines first. Now, there's a lot of tricks to memorizing lines, a lot of intellectual things that you can do in order to memorize your lines. Of course, repetition is the best way to do it. One of the recommendations that I make is that you record them into your iPhone and then play them back to yourself over and over and over and over again.
Once you have those new beliefs memorized and once you've practiced them enough, then it's very important that they're generating the emotion that you want to be creating. If you think about if you were going to play a part in a play and you are doing all the mental rehearsal to know all of your lines, then you have to think about what would my character be feeling if they already had this, if they already had created this in their life. What would they be thinking? What would they be feeling? You start associating the emotion. You start visualizing the part. You start visualizing your future self who's already created what you want to create and you start generating that emotion ahead of time.
Now, a lot of people tell me that it's difficult for them to create emotion ahead of time. Think about it. How do you create emotion? You create emotion by what you think about. If you think about an actor who's in a play that needs to cry, they're going to think thoughts that make them sad. If they want to generate excitement, they're going to think thoughts that make them feel excited. They're going to think about a time when they were excited or think about something that's coming up that makes them excited. That's what we want to do. We want to be these characters in our own mind, our future self, and we want to think like they would think and feel like they would feel, and therefore, act like they would act.
When we're in the play, we have become that character depending on what a good of an actor we are. We have become that character and we are literally acting as if we were that character and creating that result for the audience. That is the exact same process that we want to use in our own lives. It's great that we can borrow from the acting industry in order to do this. The first thing you want to do is write your lines. The second thing you want to do is memorize your lines. The third thing you want to do is visualize and practice with the emotion of those lines. You want to feel it and be in it. You want to create that emotion. You have to be really willing to let go of who you are now and be wholeheartedly in the space of your future self. That's what actors have to do.
Have you ever seen an actor in a play and it's just so amazing how you forget that they're a famous actor? Because you see that they've now encompassed this new character. That's what all good acting does, and that is what we can use to become the next version of ourselves. We start thinking and feeling and acting like them before we've even created the result. In fact, we have to do that before we can create that result. We practice with the emotion until it's completely effortless. What's beautiful about that is then we can go on to the stage as an actor and act without having to think about it. It just comes so naturally. We've practiced it so many times.
The same is true in our lives. The same is true when we show up in our lives. Most of the time when we accomplish goals that we want, we're not overjoyed and thrilled in the moment because we've practiced the moment so many times that it's as good as done before we actually get the result. Usually, by the time we get the result where we've arrived at our ideal weight or we've made the million dollars or whatever it is, we're already on to the next thing. We've already experienced the result before it actually comes.
One of the ideas I love to explore and think about is gratitude ahead of time. It's similar to what my coach, Frank Kern, taught me about results ahead of time, giving your clients results ahead of time, but this is gratitude ahead of time. It's being in the space of being really thankful for the result before you even get the result. It's like you're already identifying as that future self. You're becoming that person visually in your mind business visualizing in your mind before you're actually there. That is how the world works. We create our thoughts and we end up creating our results.
Your mind, your body does not know the difference between what is real and what is just perceived and what is visualized. The more you can visualize the result you want, the more you can feel that. From that vibration, you will attract that into your life and you will get wisdom in ways that you never knew. You will meet the right people and everything will start aligning as soon as you're feeling the way that you need to feel to create the result you want.
Think about this, you guys. Think about what do you want to create then do your model backwards. Get that model created. Look at the gap between your models then write your new lines, memorize your lines, associate and visualize and practice with the emotion, and be the new you before you've actually arrived there. I promise you this works. Now, you just can't understand it intellectually. You actually have to apply this and do it in order to get the result you want.
Now, I have talked to a few of you, and I just want to speak directly to you, who have told me that it's your dream to come to my in-person training, that you want to come and learn from me and want to be in the classroom with me. One of the things that I've told you is that you have to visualize it. What would you need to be thinking? What would you need to be feeling? What would you need to be doing in order to get that result, in order to be there live with me? Then you have to believe that that is possible for you. You have to believe that you can get the time off work. You have to believe that you can make that investment. You have to believe that you have the capacity to learn and to provide that service to your clients.
Once you get there, once you feel that intellectually in your mind and also in your body, then the next thing you know, we'll be meeting in person. Practice this. If you guys need help, go over to the LifeCoachSchool.com/102 and I will absolutely help you and look at what you guys have done and address it for sure on an upcoming podcast. Have an amazing week everyone. I'll talk to you later. Ba-bye.
Thank you for listening to the Life Coach School podcast. It is my honor to show up here every week and connect with people that are like-minded, wanting to take their life to a deeper level with more awareness and more consciousness. If you are interested in taking this work to the next level, I highly encourage you to go to the LifeCoachSchool.com/howtofeelbetteronline. It is there that I have a class that will take all of these to a deeper application where you'll be able to really feel and experience how all of these concepts can start showing up in your life. It's one thing to learn it intellectually. It's another thing to truly apply it to your life. I will see you there. Thanks again for listening.