Learn about the Model and change your life quickly. Join Self Coaching Scholars.

Are you ready to uplevel your life? Consider this your personal invitation to take the first step.

Maybe you’re ready to finally lose the weight. To start your business. To double your business. To create deeper relationships and more self-confidence.

If you know deep down that it’s time to make a change, this episode will show you the path.

Self Coaching Scholars Director, Allison Wright, gives you a tour and a sneak peek of our monthly membership program and some of our most popular courses inside.

Hear some gems of wisdom from me and the other instructors on different areas of your life that we can help you improve.

Tune in today as Allison pulls back the curtain to give you a look at the Study Vault inside Self Coaching Scholars. Explore what we call the Netflix of personal development where you can learn everything from creating more time in your week to using the Urge Jar.

And if you’re ready to finally bet on yourself and to transform your life, click here to join us in Self Coaching Scholars.

Check out the video below!

What you will discover

  • What the Study Vault is.
  • The go-to course for business owners.
  • Why resisting your urges doesn’t serve you.
  • The importance of planning your free time.
  • Why knowing the “how” isn’t necessary to achieve your goals.
  • Where self-confidence actually comes from.

Featured on the show

Episode Transcript

Hello my friends, my name is Allison Wright and I’m the Director of Self Coaching Scholars here at The Life Coach School, and I’m so excited to be here with you today because we have a very special surprise.

Brooke reached out and asked me if I would give you a tour and a sneak peek inside our most popular courses inside Self Coaching Scholars, and of course, I immediately said yes.

Scholars is my favorite place to be and I love our content, so I’m excited to take you on a quick tour and show you the best of Scholars with Brooke and our other featured coaches.

Scholars is our monthly membership program where we take everything you love from the podcast and we study it and we apply it at a much deeper level. I joined Self Coaching Scholars two and a half years ago to work on my relationship with money and to up-level my self-confidence.

And one of the things you’ll notice as you listen today and one of the things our Scholars quickly discover is that when you focus on one area of your life, such as money or self-confidence, it up-levels so many other parts of your life because this content of personal development is so connected and related to each other.

So I’m going to pull back the curtain and show you a preview of our most popular courses inside our Study Vault. Think of the Study Vault like a library of on-demand courses with Brooke based on her last 15 years of teaching and coaching.

It is simply the best of the best. And like Brooke says, it’s the Netflix of personal development and coaching. Alright, let’s dive in.

The first course I want to show you is called Entrepreneurial Management, and this is our go-to course if you’re an entrepreneur or a business owner who really wants to take your business to the next level or if you’re just getting started building a team.

Brooke and her friend Kris Plachy share their blueprint for running a successful business, how to build and manage a team, and the value of creating processes and systems to make your company more efficient. Enjoy these highlights from Entrepreneurial Management.

Brooke: The reason why we started this program with talking about you and talking about you as the founder and the components that you need to consider is so you are able to come to your business as a high performer, as a person that is there to help your business and serve your business as a boss.

Right now, you’re the boss of you and you’re not doing a very good job because you’re working yourself to death, most of you. And you’re getting so burnt out because you’re running on adrenaline and overwhelm and frustration and you’re in such a hurry. So we really want to take the opportunity in this video to demand that you set up your life in a way that is disciplined.

Kris: The inability to discipline your life, your time, the other elements that we’re going to talk about, absolutely shows up in your business. And one of the other keys here is how you show up in your business is going to impact everybody else in the business.

So your self-care and really establishing how you want to have your own discipline absolutely impacts not just you but everyone else that you work with.

Brooke: Those 40 hours that you put in need to be solid, they need to be focused, they need to be well rested, and they need to be planned very carefully. Most of us are just running into our businesses and just responding to fires and putting out fires and running around and trying to solve this and trying to solve that.

We’re not being proactive enough. When you limit your life in your business to 40 hours a week, there’s no time for that. There’s no time for running around, there’s no time for lack of planning.

Kris: One of the things that you’ve said quite a bit that I think is so powerful is if you’re working more than 40 hours, you’re just being sloppy with your time. And I know that initially, this is going to feel so overwhelming to consider getting everything done in 40 hours.

But if you really start to pay attention to what you do with your time, I’m absolutely willing to bet you are reacting, you’re just opening up your email and reacting to what’s happening in your business. You’re not planning, as Brooke just mentioned, and so you’re not efficient. Once you become efficient with your time, it’s amazing what you’re able to accomplish.

Brooke: I want you to think about how much money you want to make in your business and then I want you to think about that amount of money in your bank account. And just sitting with it.

Don’t hire anyone new. Don’t even grow your business for a minute. Just be with that success. And what happens to a lot of people’s brains is they start feeling like an imposter. They start feeling like they’re going to be found out.

Kris: Absolutely. And this, honestly, I think every single client that I have coached, we touch on this at some point. They think, “When are they coming? When are the adults coming?”

Brooke: We’re going to get in trouble.

Kris: Somebody’s coming. I’ve had somebody actually who was on The Inc. top 100 female founders who said the same thing. People are going to figure out I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. So it’s super normal.

So it’s important to know there’s nothing wrong here if you start to question your own success. But that’s not where we want you to stay. It’s okay to question it and go through that process, but that’s why we want to help you move through it. Because you’ve already got incredible evidence of what you’re capable of.

Let’s not start self-sabotaging just because of our brain. You have so much you can offer the world. This is not the time to start making silly mistakes, judgments, just because you’re uncomfortable with your own success.

One of our most popular courses inside our Study Vault is the Urge Jar. The Urge Jar is designed to help you with buffering, which is the term we use for using external things like food or beverages to numb out and avoid feeling.

Now, while it was originally intended for weight loss, listen closely and you’ll discover how the Urge Jar can apply to any habit or autopilot behavior you want to change.

Brooke: So I want to teach you how to take yourself through this process of allowing an emotion. And more specifically, allowing an urge. An urge is an emotion that is intensely driving action.

So remember in the Model that our feelings drive our actions. And urges are urgent. They’re urging us to take action immediately. So if you think about the Model, you have a thought, you have a feeling, that feeling may be urgent, that feeling may feel like an urge pushing you forward.

Desire to eat is one of those urgent emotions driven by the need for reward, driven by the need for pleasure. I just want to pause here and let you know that so many of you think that your desire for pleasure means that you’re morally bankrupt, that it means there’s something wrong with you.

And I just want to pause here and tell you if you have a desire for pleasure, you’re a human being with a functioning brain. That is what your brain is wired to do.

Your ability to overcome that primitive wiring will help you get the long-term results that you want. So first of all, just understanding that any time you have those urgent emotions, any time you have that urge, everything is functioning beautifully.

Your brain is perfect. The fact that you want a donut, the fact that you want cupcakes is very normal. Resisting and avoiding urges has a counter effect. It doesn’t serve you.

And this is what a lot of you have done on diets in the past, that steel determination against those urges and you’re going to win. But that presupposes that those urges are powerful and that you can’t handle them and that you need to fight against them.

And this is a very different approach. This approach is those urges feel powerful but they’re not. They go through your body as if something is an emergency but it’s not. And you have the final decision on whether or not to obey that urge or to just allow it to be there.

Monday Hour One is our ultimate time and mind management course that teaches you the skills to unlock more time, more energy, and more productivity. It’s the method Brooke uses, and it’s what we use as a team at The Life Coach School to produce extraordinary results in less time.

This one course could change everything for you about the way you live and the way you work. Here’s a sneak peek inside.

Brooke: This is all about living a conscious and deliberate life. Time management and this process is about taking your life truly to the next level.

Here’s what’s important to remember about your brain is you have this part of your brain that’s very primitive, that wants to be reactive, that wants to just be very spontaneous and go through life and not have to think at higher level.

And then you have the human part of your brain, which is your prefrontal cortex, which is the part of your brain, the only part of anyone’s brain that can ever plan anything. This is why you don’t see animals out in nature having meetings.

They’re not planning their lives. They’re not deciding when they’re going to have kids. Everything is just reactive in the animal world. Humans, we are really the only species that can sit and think about our future selves, can think about our future lives, can plan our future lives.

If you’re always doing what you feel like you want to do in the moment, you’re going to be doing one of three things. You’re going to be laying on your couch, sleeping or watching Netflix, you’re going to be eating, doing drugs, or drinking alcohol, or you’re literally just going to be hiding from your life.

You do not want to do what you feel like doing in the moment because the way your brain is programmed, the way you are wired is to just be reactive. So you’ll never be able to create anything amazing in your life.

So the second thing I want to say about that is when you do this process, you actually start planning your free time, which means when people say they just want to be spontaneous, what they’re really saying is I want to do what I want to do.

And when you plan time to actually have free time and do the things you want to do, you end up doing them so much more than when you are trying to catch up and you’re late on things and you’re busy and you’re running around and you don’t know what to do and you’re just doing what you feel like in the moment.

The 90-Day Relationship is a special five-part course Brooke created that teaches you how to create more love in your life through a 90-day relationship framework.

This process can be used with new or current romantic partners, friends, and you can even use it to up-level your relationships with family members. Anyone you want to be closer to in your life. Listen in to learn more.

Brooke: So when people ask us why would I do a 90-day relationship, our answer is because you want to grow in a short amount of time, you want to explore love, and you want to explore loving another person and loving yourself.

And when I thought in terms of what are the values, what are the qualities I want in the person that I was able to open up and expand more. And I think that’s what allowed for such a powerful, unexpected experience.

Speaker 2: Right. That goes into the next question, which is like, how would you actually want to feel with this other person? And this is I believe how I actually called you in is I started to imagine what I would want to feel in a relationship.

So I wanted to feel deeply loved. I wanted to feel deeply supported, I wanted to feel empowered. I wanted to feel adventurous, courageous, vulnerable.

Brooke: I think another way of approaching that question too is how do you imagine yourself feeling in the relationship and also who do you want to be in that relationship too. The same question, but a subtle difference because I think we get so focused on I want blue eyes and blonde hair and be six feet and do this for a living.

And then we miss out on who are we going to be in that relationship? And when you think about who you want to be, you also think about the ways in which you want to grow. And so before you even go about creating or asking someone to be in a 90-day relationship, these are questions that you want to consider.

Why do you want to do this? And the 90-day relationship is not about just having fun for 90 days. It’s not just about dating for 90 days. You can do that all without this time constraint. This is about getting into a relationship and growing more than you ever thought possible within 90 days.

We have an entire section in the Study Vault on money, and one of our most popular courses is called Stop Under-earning: Create What You Want. Brooke created this with Aprille Franks and this content will blow your mind.

If you’re not earning as much money as you want, they can show you why and how to overcome it. This course is for anyone who wants to create more abundance in their business, career, and life.

Brooke: When we’re in school, we are taught figure out what you love, find out what your passion is, and go out in the world and be yourself. I personally think that’s some bullshit.

And listen, you know I love to love what I do. But I think when we are taught in school, especially as women or girls, little girls, we should be asked how much money you want to make.

And everyone’s like, “Oh no, don’t talk about money to little children.” No, that’s exactly what you should be talking about. Listen, how much money do you want to make? How do you want to live? And then you know what you can do? Whatever the F you want.

You want pleasure in what you do? Make enough money to get yourself the power and the freedom to do whatever you want. When we’re trying to live our passion and make money at the same time, they’re two completely different skillsets.

I think women should be taught how to make money first. And I think we should be asked how much money we want to make first. How many of us, all of you think about this, how many of us have actually been asked how much money do we want to make?

Well, listen, maybe you don't want to make a lot of money. Maybe if I ask you the question, how much money do you want to make? Not a lot. Okay, but at least make the decision consciously.

We aren’t even put in a position where we think that’s a choice. When you ask little girls the question how much money do you want to make, they’re like, oh, that’s up to me? I get to decide that?

Even now, not even little girls, big girls. Humans. How much money do you want to make? Yes, it’s up to you, yes, you get to decide. But it is ingrained in us that if we want to be good moms, if we want to be good wives, if we want to do our wifely and motherly duties, we can’t possibly go after making millions of dollars.

And even though we are raised in a slightly different environment than our mothers and our grandmothers, all of those belief systems have been passed down to us. So if you are an under-earner, it means you make less than you want to make, or less than you are capable of making.

And so if you - now, not everyone wants to make more money. And some people aren’t capable of making more money because of the situations that they’re in, because of the circumstances. Not talking to those people.

We’re talking to you. If you want to make more money and you’re capable of it and you’re not, probably because of some belief systems you don’t understand.

Aprille: So for me, asking for the money is because women don't want to feel sales-y. They want everybody to like them. And this is how I feel about making offers.

My philosophy around making offers is that’s why you’re here. That’s why people follow you. People are following you because they are looking for a solution.

So why place yourself in a position of leadership if you’re not going to give the people connected to you the opportunity to be led? And that’s how I look at it. So I never feel like I’m selling. I feel like I am obligated to share with you how I can help you, which is the whole reason you’re following me in the first place.

The next course I want to introduce you to is one of our inclusivity courses inside the Study Vault. You’ll hear deep conversations from our Black Scholar coaches about their unique challenges and how they use coaching to navigate their experiences.

They’ll cover topic like being Black in corporate America, feelings of enoughness, wealth and money beliefs, and so much more.

Speaker 1: So for me growing up, I believed that love was earned. So you get good grades in school, you get more love. You act a certain way, you get more love. So it was associated with your acts. Like you had to earn it based on what you did or didn’t do.

Speaker 2: Certainly was true for me too. Definitely. But I also observed a different type of deserving of love, and that was based on the color of one’s skin. Whether you were Black or white, you were considered more beautiful, more acceptable, and therefore more deserving of love and loving treatment.

And then within the Black community, in which I grew up, I know this is the same for many people in the US and I’m from the Caribbean, we also learnt about or were taught that we were more or less deserving of love, depending on our shade of Blackness.

A lot of that was left over from the colonial era, slavery, where there was this idea the closer you are to white, the more deserving you were as a person and the more opportunities that were available to you. And that’s been very heavily internalized in our community in terms of the way we see our own beauty, our physicality, our hair.

Speaker 1: Yes, that’s interesting. And for me, growing up in Nigeria, it might have been there but based on how I grew up, that was something I didn’t even know existed until I became much older.

Speaker 2: Which tells us what? It just tells us we are a product of our conditioning.

Speaker 1: It was passed on from generation to generation, that idea that whatever was done to you, the only power you had was not letting them know that they broke you. So not sharing or showing your emotions was a sign of strength and it just got passed on from generation to generation.

Speaker 3: And what about the idea that you know who you are, right? And it’s okay for them to be wrong about you. And that’s the thing, because we know that we can’t change other people’s thoughts, so sometimes all we can do is just say, “I guess you’re going to have to be wrong about me.” That’s doesn’t have to change how you show up.

Speaker 1: That’s such a key thought to take forward is that you are who you are, you have to be so strong and solid in your beliefs about you that what happens outside of you, and that includes other people’s thoughts and feelings, you can be resilient to that because you’re grounded and you’re self-assured in who you are.

Speaker 4: We just have to be willing to investigate, to ask those questions and take our cultural beliefs - it may even be true and yes, there’s a disparity. But we can think differently too.

Speaker 1: We can think differently. You’re right. And it’s not serving us. If it’s not serving you, you can think differently to produce a different result that serves you.

Entrepreneurship is a treasure trove inside our Study Vault. Brooke created a course called Double Your Business in 3 Months, where she shares her formula that entrepreneurs can use to double their revenue.

This is also an amazing course for business owners. Here’s a preview of this ground-breaking method. You’ll want to have your pen and paper out for this one.

Brooke: And the way that you think about this is going to change everything if you take it seriously. So there’s two parts to running a business. Only two. There’s math and equation and a formula, and it hasn’t changed and it never will change and it’s the way that we make money in a capitalist society. And then there’s drama.

Now fortunately, I’m trained in both. As a life coach, I really understand drama. I understand how to overcome drama. I understand how to deal with mind drama. And as a businesswoman who is very focused on my ability as a woman to be able to create success and value and contribution and money in the world, I am an expert at both of them.

Very rare combination that I’m able to provide to you. And I’m excited to provide to you, to any of you, especially those of you who are in situations right now where maybe you’ve lost your jobs, maybe everyone is saying the gig economy is paying all their bills, this is for you if that is you.

Do not let any of that mind drama prevent you from creating a business that can provide exactly what you want in your life. So many of you, listen to me, this is so important.

So many of you pick a goal, you say I’m going to double my revenue, and then immediately you have to know the how in order to believe it. So what you’re saying to yourself is I’m going to make a million dollars, but let me see how I’m going to do that, let me do the math, let me calculate it out.

And then as soon as you see the math and you see the possibility of it, then you allow yourself to believe it. Now, here’s the problem; you’re depending and leaning on the how in order to believe it.

So when that how doesn’t work, and my friends, it won’t work the first time or the second time or the eighth time, but when it doesn’t work and you’re leaning on that for your belief system and you fail at it, then all of a sudden all that doubt comes rushing back in.

And all that doubt that comes rushing back in prevents you from believing and zaps your energy and makes you quit. But when you believe ahead of time and you are committed to the amount of money and you’ve tried it on and you’ve practiced it and you visualized it and you’ve made decision from that future, then the hows become just trials, just offers.

You try something, it doesn’t work, oh well, I still believe in the goal, I’ll try something else. I still believe in the goal, I’ll try something else. I still believe in the goal, I’ll try something else.

When the how is dictating your belief, the how gets destroyed as soon as you fail at it and you will fail at it, and this is why most people don’t achieve their dreams.

So how do you believe in something before you know the how is the question that you have to ask yourself. Can you believe in making a million dollars, doubling your revenue, being where you want to be, believe in that with no evidence to prove how you will do it? And if the answer isn’t yes, that is the work that you need to do.

Brooke breaks down what desire is and how to unlearn desire in our Stop Overdrinking course, which is geared towards anyone who drinks a little bit more than they’d like, maybe wants to drink less, or if you want to stop drinking completely.

Brooke experienced incredible success with these concepts in her own life and with thousands of clients, and so many of you have heard her talk about how she quit drinking on the podcast. Listen in to discover what’s possible for you in your relationship with alcohol.

Brooke: So remember that you have conditioned your mind to desire alcohol. And here’s how you’ve done it with the Model. There’s a circumstance, which is the fact.

So you may go into a bar. Then there’s your thoughts. I want a drink. Your thoughts cause your feelings, which is an urge or desire. Your action is you drink. And the result is that it’s a reward.

Whenever there’s this kind of programming, where you reward it at the end, it is something that you will repeat often to get that same reward and then it will become involuntary. It will feel like it’s something you’re doing against your own will.

It’s like driving a car. When you turn the wheel or you slam on the brakes, it seems instinctual to you. It’s really just something that you have learned by thorough repetition.

So the way that we unlearn this desire is through a process called interrupting your Model. What we need to do is interrupt the Model right here and literally stop rewarding that urge. As soon as you stop rewarding that urge and that trigger thought, you will stop having it.

That is as simple as I can teach it to you. Now, this can take a long amount of time if you’re waiting for all the instances where you might have an urge to drink, or you can literally put yourself in those situations in your mind, and when you go out with your friends, or when you go to bars, or when you go to restaurants, be ready and prepared for that urge to come, allow it to be there, and don’t answer it.

And as you keep track of those urges, as you get closer to 100, you will notice that desire will wane. One of the things in the stories that I’ve talked about a lot is that it takes 10 hours to learn how to ride a unicycle. And all of the 10 hours up until that last hour, you are falling.

That’s all you’re doing for 10 hours. And then once you get it, you’re riding it. And that’s exactly what it’s like when you’re deconditioning a neural program in your brain.

You have taught yourself to desire something and reward yourself for that desire, and you’re teaching yourself the opposite. It really is as simple as that. If you practice 100 times, unanswered urge, you can leave it unanswered.

Brooke defines self-confidence as being secure in yourself and your abilities, especially in your ability to tolerate failure and to feel any emotion. We have an entire course in the Study Vault dedicated to deepening and accelerating your self-confidence. Listen in to hear more.

Brooke: When I talk to people about confidence, when I talk to people about self-confidence, what most people say to me is that confidence is something that you either have or you don’t. “Oh look, she’s so confident. Oh look, she was born with confidence. She’s always been confident.”

And what I want to offer you is that confidence is not something that we’re born with. In fact, confidence is an emotion that comes from our brain. And it’s very easy to think confident thoughts when we’ve already accomplished something, right?

So it’s easy for us to feel confident about something that we’ve done many, many, many times. That doesn’t mean that confidence comes from doing something many, many, many times. It’s just easier to think the thought, “I can do that,” when we have done it many times.

If you take action and fail at something, you will feel inadequate. You will feel humiliated. You will feel embarrassed. You will feel whatever it is, defeated.

Now, if you’re willing to feel those emotions, that’s when you have self-confidence. See, most people think self-confidence comes from knowing that you’re capable of success. And that’s fine if you have a lot of experience behind you.

But if you don’t have a lot of experience behind you, you’re not going to know your capability of success, so you’re not going to have confidence. But you don’t have to know your capability of success. You don’t have to be guaranteed success in order to be confident.

All you have to guarantee yourself is no matter what happens, you’re going to be okay. No matter what feeling happens, you’re going to be okay. And remember, the worst that can happen is a feeling.

The final course I want to share with you today is called Doing the Impossible. Now, you know we love to set big goals here at The Life Coach School, and this is the course that gives you the blueprint for how we do it and how you can do it too.

Brooke recommends focusing on one specific goal and failing as many times as necessary until you get your desired result. Discover why Brooke says the impossible is only temporary.

Brooke: We have this very small realm of possibility for our lives. So a lot of times, I’ll talk to people and they’ll say, “Well, this is just how my life is going to go, this is just what’s happening for me, this is just what is,” instead of really looking at what’s outside of the realm of possibility, what haven’t I considered as possible for myself?

And if I allow myself to explore impossibilities, how much does my life open up? If I’m going to go after an impossible goal, let’s say I want to make a million dollars, I am going to go after that goal with everything I’ve got.

Now, before I started that goal it wasn’t even in the realm of possibility to consider, and now it’s still impossible because I’m having to go outside the realm of possibility, but I’m actually considering the process of who I would need to be, what I would need to think, what I would need to do, the results I would need to create, and all of a sudden, my mind has expanded beyond what I had believed was possible.

And even if I never achieve that goal, the way that I’m thinking, the way that I’m planning, the way that I’m feeling has expanded tremendously. And one of the important things to remember is that it is possible to put a stand, a stake in the ground to do something impossible.

I had so much fun sharing our best courses inside Self Coaching Scholars with you today. This is just a taste of everything we offer every single day inside Scholars.

We have over 30 course and programs to help you live your best life, covering every imaginable topic. Plus, Brooke just released a new course called The Possibility Formula. It’s a blueprint for unlocking your extraordinary life and really achieving the impossible at a whole other level.

When you apply this method, you’ll be well on your way to living your unique, bold, and audacious life. It’s going to be so much fun. You don’t want to miss it.

I’d love to have you join us in Self Coaching Scholars. Consider this your personal invitation to up-level any part of your life. And we’ll support you every step of the way with weekly one-on-one private coaching with our certified coaches, daily group coaching calls, and this incredible Study Vault of courses.

Can you see why Self Coaching Scholars is my favorite place to be? So come join us. Go to thelifecoachschool.com/join. That’s thelifecoachschool.com/join. Have a beautiful day, my friends.

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