Ep #447: How to Handle Adversity
Posted on November 10, 2022
Life is 50/50. Although you can’t control what kind of adversity you face, you can bet that you will face some.
Maya Angelou said, “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.”
So, how do you handle adversity without feeling defeated?
Handling adversity is something I covered in a recent webinar and if you missed it, you get to hear it today on the podcast.
Tune in this week to learn how to not only handle adversity but how to also use adversity to your own benefit. I share three secrets to overcoming adversity and some of the pitfalls to look out for in this process.
Join me live (or virtually) for Life Coach Live November 18-20, 2022. Click here to sign up today.
What you will discover
- The 3 secrets to overcoming adversity.
- Why it’s important to face adversity.
- What happens when you plan for adversity.
- How to love in the face of adversity.
- 4 pitfalls you may come across when experiencing adversity.
Featured on the show
- Learn more about the Self Coaching Scholars program.
- See what’s possible for you at Life Coach Live.
- Join The Life Coach School on social: Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | TikTok | Pinterest
- Follow my brand-new Instagram account @therealbrookecastillo
- Presenting at Life Coach Live:
You are listening to The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo, episode 447.
Welcome to The Life Coach School Podcast, where it’s all about real clients, real problems and real coaching. And now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.
Hey my friends. I just wanted to record a quick intro to this podcast this week. I have asked my team to upload a webinar that I taught last week on how to overcome adversity. People found it super helpful and life-changing, shall we say, so I wanted to share it with each and every one of you in case you missed it.
Also, within there, I talk about joining me for Life Coach Live. So if you haven’t signed up yet, make sure you go to LifeCoachSchool.com/LifeCoachLive so you can join me for three days of life-changing magic. See you there. Enjoy.
Today we’re going to talk all about adversity. We’re going to talk about how so many of us struggle with adversity and how to get over it. We are going to spend the next hour or so together talking about our struggles, talking about the hard stuff, talking about all the things that get in our way from having the perfect, lovely, enjoyable life.
We’re going to talk about kind of the three secrets to overcome adversity, and this completely changed my life. So this webinar alone is truly a game-changer. And as we get towards the end, I’m going to talk a little bit about some pitfalls to make sure that you look out for and then how also when we’re looking at our lives, we can actually use adversity to our own benefit.
So I actually do know that many of you are dealing with a lot of chaos, uncertainty, worry, challenging family situations, challenging financial situations, and I’m going to talk and speak to all of those different things, but I want to make sure that you understand that dealing with adversity is something of an inside job.
And I am a life coach, for those of you who don’t know me, I am a life coach. That is what I am first and foremost and will always be. My truest love is life coaching people and really using the tools of life coaching to have extraordinary lives.
I am on a mission right now in my life to help other people understand what is possible in this lifetime because I believe that so many of us have been taught that what’s possible in our lifetime is so much smaller than what actually is.
And we get trained throughout our lives, especially going through school, the way that we’re brought up in school and the way that we’re brought up in society is to avoid adversity at all costs. And it makes sense because that is the way that our primitive brain initially was programmed, was straight for survival.
And if you think about it, if you’re in a survival mode, if you’re in the mode of trying to survive and stay alive and that is your number one focus, the decision to avoid adversity, the decision to hide from it, to escape from it is a very good one.
And it will keep you alive much better than if you seek it out. But because we have evolved into a much safer world, a much safer experience, and now we have a prefrontal cortex that can help us create adversity when there is none, we end up avoiding living our own lives. We end up avoiding living the truest possibility of what we can live. And I want to change that for as many people as I can.
I started off changing it for myself. I started off by learning how to deal with the adversity in my own life and turning that into something that served me to create this incredible life that I’ve created. I was just talking to some of my coaches that I do a call with once a week and I was just explaining to them, I’m like, “My life is ridiculous. It is beyond anything I could have ever imagined, the life that I’m currently living right now.”
And it is because I learned these tools, and it is because I am a life coach that I have this life that is so extraordinary. And the only reason it’s extraordinary is because other people aren’t doing it. It’s not extraordinary because I’m any more extraordinary than any of y’all. That is real. I get so much criticism for this. I think it’s so weird that I get criticized for telling people that they can do what I did.
Like, “Don’t tell people that, that’s not realistic, you shouldn’t tell people they can have what you have.” Why? They can. There’s nothing extraordinary about me that isn’t also extraordinary about you. I like to say we’re all just ordinary humans and some of us are doing extraordinary things because we have the tools to do extraordinary things.
I have those tools. I’m doing extraordinary things. I want to give all the tools to you so you can do extraordinary things. Because you know what’s a really good time is a lot of us doing extraordinary things together. So I’ve already brought hundreds, thousands of people along with me, and it makes my life so much better.
And then they can add the tools and they enhance the tools and we all grow together. And then instead of it just being the top 1%, I’m literally in the top 0.000001% of people enjoying this life in this way financially and successfully in terms of as an entrepreneur. But the only reason is because I know how to deal with adversity, and I’m going to teach it to you right now in this hour, so let’s go.
Here’s how we’re going to start. I want to talk about the three secrets to overcoming adversity and the first secret is to expect it, to plan on it, to know that adversity is part of life. And not with a negative attitude. Not like, “We have to deal with adversity unfortunately.” No. Adversity is the plan. It’s why we’re here. Have you noticed?
I look around at all the humans, no one’s escaping adversity. No one ever escapes adversity, almost like it’s part of the design. Almost like we’re supposed to have adversity. I wonder why that would be.
So think about it this way. You decide to go to the gym and you go to the gym and you get there and they don’t have any weights, they don’t have anything heavy, they don’t have anything hard. It’s just pillows, just laying down, just for comfort. Because the truth is it’s much easier and much more comfortable to just lay down in the gym than it is to go lift a weight.
But the truth is when we go to the gym, we want weights. We want hard things. We want heavy things to lift up. We want things that hurt us, literally. It hurts to do things in the gym and we want that on purpose. Why? Because we want to evolve our body, we want to stay healthy, we want to put our body literally in harm’s way so it can be healthier.
Think about a mountain. You look at a mountain as this thing that’s an obstacle, that’s terrible, that’s in our way. But so many of us use that mountain on purpose to become stronger, to become more of who we are, to have a better view from the top. That is how thinking about adversity can serve you.
I have this theory, and for those of you who know me, you already know it, but listen to it again. I want to remind you. I believe that the world is 50:50. And it’s 50:50 on purpose. It’s 50% happy and it’s 50% unhappy, it’s 50% positive and it’s 50% negative. It’s 50% good and it’s 50% bad, and it’s 50% easy and it’s 50% hard.
There is no happy without unhappy. There’s always the balance of polarity. There’s always the contrast. I believe as humans, we came to this planet to experience the contrast on purpose. But instead of us approaching our lives that way, instead of us coming to the world and saying okay, I’m ready for my adversity, I’m ready for my curriculum, where are the weights that I’m supposed to lift?
Instead of us doing that, what we do instead is we have this idealized life in our mind. This life where we have - notice that we all live our current life in comparison to the life that we should have. I coach thousands of people all the time, everybody has it.
We have the parents and how they should have behaved, we had our birth and how it should have been. We have our childhood and how it should have been. We have our school years and how the kids should have treated us.
And we have all the trauma in our life and how that shouldn’t have existed, and we have all the challenges in school, in reading, in math, in life, with our parents, with their divorce, with our siblings, with our friends, and we think it’s all gone terribly wrong because we have this idea of how it should have been and we compare our current life to how it should have been, which nobody ever has that perfect life.
Nobody has everything going smoothly and perfectly. And when my students come to me and they say to me something like, “I don’t have any adversity in my life,” I say your goals aren’t big enough. You’re hiding from life. You need and want there to be weights in the gym.
As humans, we want to be challenged. I want you to think about your current life and your current self as a set of skills, a set of abilities, a set of accomplishments of where you are now. And that has a border around you of what you’re currently able to do. And then there’s your capacity for what you can do, for what you could do.
Your capacity is so much bigger than your current ability. Your capabilities, you don’t even know what your capabilities are yet. How many more things could you do? How much bigger could you get? How much more successful? How much more loving? How much more kind, more patient, more fun could you be? You don’t even know because you haven’t pushed the edges of that capacity, of that capability.
So the question then becomes, why haven’t you? Why haven’t you pushed those boundaries? Why aren’t you out there trying to see if you could love more, if you could win more, if you could connect more, if you could make more money? The reason why most of us aren’t doing that is we’re avoiding adversity.
I hear it all day long. I’m afraid to show up, I’m afraid to be seen, I’m afraid of haters, I’m afraid of being cancelled, I’m afraid people will judge me, I’m afraid I’m not good enough, I’m afraid I’m not worthy enough. And so we don’t put ourselves out there in the world to stretch into our capacity of who we could be because we don’t want to face adversity.
But what if we planned on adversity? What if not only did we go to the gym and there were weights, but we put heavier weights in there? We created more exercises for ourselves to make us stronger. Then we would learn what can we lift? What are we capable of lifting? Do you even know? When’s the last time you tried to metaphorically lift something heavy?
See, what most of us do is we go and we try to lift the heaviest weight in the gym without having ever walked into the gym. And then we say that’s impossible, my capability isn’t there, I don’t have the capacity to lift that because we’ve been avoiding adversity because we’ve been thinking about the world that it should be better than it is, that it should be kinder than it is, it should be easier than it is.
But what we realize when we step back and we look around at reality is that life really is 50:50, and that we look at our lives, it has been a perfect balance of good and bad and positive and negative. And the only problem is that we’ve been looking at the negative and making it more negative by judging it, by wishing it weren’t there, by wishing it weren’t negative.
So the first secret to overcoming adversity is understanding that it’s always going to be there. It’s never going to go away, and that it’s there for a very positive purpose, and that there’s always going to be the balance. So here’s what I want you to ask yourself. Here’s a question.
What do you want your adversity quotient to be personally? And what that means is how do you want to deal with challenges? What kind of person do you want to be when adversity comes? What kind of person do you want to be when something is challenging?
Have you even thought about this? Or are you just ducking, trying to stay away? If you ask yourself, Brooke, and whatever your name is, ask yourself, how do you want to be when challenging things come? I’ll give you some examples because like I said, I coach people through adversity all the time.
And people come to me with very adverse circumstances, and I call them adverse because I’m thinking about them. So they’ll come and they’ll say, “My daughter is dying.” They’ll say, “I was just diagnosed with cancer.” They’ll say, “I’m physically incapacitated in certain ways.” They’ll come to me and say that their husband just left them, they’ll come to me and say that they hate their job. Lots of different scenarios.
And one of the questions that I ask them when we determine what the circumstance is who do you want to be in this circumstance? What kind of person do you want to be as you go through this? What happened to me when Covid first started, when I first heard about the virus and I heard that we were shutting everything down and that everything was cancelled, I remember thinking to myself, “This is an adverse situation and I can decide how to utilize this adverse situation.”
And the question that I asked myself is who do I want to be right now and who do I want to be as I go through it and who do I want to be when it’s done? And what that does - and this is so powerful, this is your first tip. When you ask yourself the question how do you want to deal with challenges, what do you want your adversity quotient to be, you take the power away from the chaos. You take the power away from the adversity and you bring it back home.
Because you can’t control - many, many, many times, you can’t control what’s going on out there. We can’t control what’s going on with Covid, we can’t control what’s going on with all that chaos. But we can control what’s going on with who we decide to be and how we decide to think and how we decide to show up.
And when I made that decision, I immediately started recording podcasts for my students, I immediately started thinking about how I could serve and how I could help. It changed everything. Instead of me being at the effect of what was going on in the world, it helped me be at the effect of what’s going on with - and when you plan on adversity, it’s coming my friends, always.
There will be a balance. There will be birth and there will be death. And there will be health and there will be sickness. You can be guaranteed that that’s going to happen. But you can decide how you’re going to handle that part of life that is adverse. That’s the first secret I want you to know.
The second secret I want you to know is you can take adversity and turn it into an asset in your life. Most of us look at adversity as a liability. So if you think about a profit loss sheet, for those of you who have businesses or studied business, there’s a profit and loss sheet.
There’s a balance sheet that comes along where you look at what are my assets, and what are my liabilities in my life, what are the things that are costing me money that I’m in debt over and I owe, and what are the things that are producing for me, that are assets, that are valuable assets in my life.
And most of us would look at adversity and say, “That’s a liability, that’s going to cost me something. Sickness and pain and misfortune in my life will cost me something.” And that may be true, especially in the factual piece of it. But if you look at every single thing in your life as an opportunity to create an asset, you will stop being afraid of your life.
You will stop being afraid of the adverse side of life and you will start saying, “How can I turn this dumbbell, how can I turn this weight machine into an asset?” And if I lift this weight enough, I will become stronger, and then that muscle will be an asset on my body. It will serve me because it will be stronger.
And if I’m willing to go through the adversity and think about it as - you get that physical soreness. Think about the psychological soreness you get from facing emotional adversity. It’s just part of the process. It’s part of the process of getting stronger. I love this term psychological soreness as we develop the ability to turn our adversity into assets by being willing to experience the emotion, process the emotion.
Now, this is very important when you think about developing yourself and your life and the negative part of life as an asset. How do we do that? One of the best ways that I know how to do it is use it as an opportunity to get better at feeling.
Now, don’t lose me here. We’re not feeling for the sake of drama. We’re not feeling for the sake of being a victim. We’re not feeling for the sake of being dramatic. We are feeling for the sake of getting skillful at processing any emotion, and here’s why.
If you can process any negative emotion willingly, you will stop being afraid of emotion. An emotion, negative emotion is the only thing we’re trying to avoid when we hide from adversity. If you think about adverse things in your life, you think that they hurt and the reason why you don’t want to embrace them, you don’t want to move towards them, you don’t want to welcome them is because you don’t want to feel pain.
You want to hide from them and avoid them and be afraid of them so you don’t have to experience that. But if you were willing to put your emotional life out there and process an emotion all the way through, you’re not afraid anymore because it’s just an emotion.
People ask me all the time, “Why are you so confident? Why can you go into any situation and be so confident?” I am confident because I am willing to experience any emotion. I am willing to embrace a life that is so big, that welcomes so much adversity because I’m not afraid to feel.
If you think about it, being judged, facing failure, loss, it’s all terrible because of how it feels. But I’m willing to embrace life and experience that emotion. So ask yourself these questions.
How can I use this to become stronger? How can I use this to become smarter? Here are the reasons why you become smarter when you face adversity, and embrace it. Not just face it, but embrace it. You have to think in a new way. You have to get creative to problem-solve. You have to stay tuned in with yourself to be able to process and stay aware of what’s going on for you.
And as you have new experiences because you’re facing new adverse situations, you develop skills that start to stack on each other. I know how to deal with grief, I know how to deal with humiliation, I know how to deal with anger, I know how to deal with shame. I’ve stacked those skills so when I face adversity, I can access those assets, and not only do I access the ones I already have, I use the adversity to make them stronger.
And I build up my own self, my own life, my own tenacity and resilience by facing adversity in an embracing way. So ask yourself, how can I use this to become stronger?
Now, I want to talk to you briefly about the types of adversity. So when you’re thinking about what is adversity anyway, it’s misfortune, right? It’s something challenging, it’s something hard. So when you think about adversity, I want to make sure you’re categorizing it correctly because there’s math and there’s drama. There’s circumstances and then there’s stories about circumstances.
So let me quickly tell you about the types of adversity that you may face in your life and how to address those. Now first, just categorizing them will really truly help you in how you go about facing them. Are you with me? So the first secret I taught you is we got to plan on adversity. We got to plan on it happening.
Life is supposed to have it, don’t hide from it, don’t think something’s gone terribly wrong with your life if you’re facing adversity, uncertainty, or chaos. It’s all part of it. Bring it on. I’m here for all of it. Tell your life, “I’m here for all of it. Didn’t see that coming, but I’m ready, I’m here.”
The second thing is we’re going to turn adversity into an asset. We’re going to turn every piece of adversity in our life into an asset where we get to know ourselves more, we learn how to process emotion, we stack our own skills and become more valuable to our own life because as we become - stay with me - as we become better at dealing with adversity, we become more capable of merging into our full capacity.
Why does that matter? Because the more people we have at the higher level of capacity, the higher the world will be. Can you see it? If we’re always hiding from adversity, we’re never stretching our own capacity. So here are the types of adversity you may be facing.
There’s the adversity that is haunting you from your past. It’s adversity that’s already happened, it’s some misfortune that you already faced that you haven’t dealt with. You haven’t utilized it as an asset. You haven’t used it to make yourself stronger, so it haunts you and it affects you. And you may be running away from it, and you may be resisting it. That’s one type of adversity that we want to make sure we clean up.
We want to make sure we find out what is currently going on. We don’t have to go to our past to solve it. What is currently going on in our minds that is making this situation from the past adverse in the present? And because that situation in the past is no longer happening, it doesn’t have any clear and present danger now, we can solve for it almost immediately.
And the way that we do that is by processing the thought, feeling, and action combination that is creating a result we don’t want. So notice, is the thing that is adverse in your life, did it happen yesterday? Did it happen a year ago? Has it been happening for six years? Is it something from your past that you’re currently bringing into your present and it’s making your life chaotic, uncertain, doubtful, scary?
Just put a little checkmark by it if that’s what it is because that we can clean up. You can’t change that past but it has no power over your present unless you give it power over your present. I like to rewrite the stories of our past and create new meanings now so they’re no longer adverse situations. That’s number one. A haunting from your past.
Number two is internal made-up adversity. Made up in your own mind. It’ll look something like fear, doubt, optional mistakes is how I’m referring to it now, which means procrastination, sabotage, and failure ahead of time. A lot of times, the adversity that we’re facing in our lives is just in our mind. It doesn't even exist in the world. It’s a made-up story that we’ve created.
Is that the adversity? Is it a lack of worthiness? Is it the way you’re thinking about yourself? Is it how you’re showing up? Is it self-sabotage? So first one was something from your past you’re currently using against yourself. That’s one type of adversity. The other type of adversity is just made-up stuff in your head about your own worth, your own capacity, your own capability, who you are, just negative garbage.
Number three, is it future projection of adversity? Something that hasn’t even happened yet, something you’re afraid might, could happen. You’re borrowing trouble from the future. If that’s the adversity that you are anticipating or creating in your mind, very easily solvable, all with life coaching tools, all with the coaching model.
Because think about it; if your adversity is coming from your past, your past is already over. It can no longer hurt you except in your mind. If it’s coming internally from a story you’re making up, the only reason you’re being hurt is because of your mind. If you’re projecting onto the future, the only reason you’re in any kind of adverse pain is because of what you’re projecting onto the future, which is in your mind. All solvable with the Self-Coaching Model.
We’ve already eliminated so much unnecessary adversity, but there are things that are happening in the world, maybe in your world that are factual and that are now and that aren’t made up in your mind. Real things. And that’s the kind of adversity we want to really focus on utilizing as an asset in our lives.
The other three we just need to clean up our thinking about because it’s not even a real and present danger. But if there is a real and present danger, if there is something happening in your life, if there is a circumstance that is going on in your life and maybe it was a catalytic event that just happened.
I just had a dear friend of mine send me a video message saying that he had suddenly lost someone in his life to a terrible accident. I have clients that I’m coaching all the time that are facing unexpected circumstances in their lives, financial, emotional, relational.
And the way that we deal with those is first we plan. We make room for them, we allow them to be assets in our lives, and then we embrace them by deciding who we’re going to be as we go through them. How can we use this in our life to become more of who we are, to expand our capacity, to see what we’re capable of, to see what we’re made of, to see how we can rise up to it?
So Maya Angelou has this amazing quote I just found when I was looking and preparing for this class. I want to read it to you because it’s so good as it talks about dealing with adversity as it comes into our life. It says, “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter defeat so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, and how you can still come out of it.”
We learn so much about who we are and what we’re capable of by what we face in our life, by what we create, by the adversity that we experience. We get to see how strong we are. We get to see who we are through our adversity. So yes, there will be defeats, but we do not have to be defeated. Maya Angelou, my friends. Amazing.
Okay, so let’s talk about how we can choose to respond consciously to adversity. Because most of us, we’re not planning on it and we’re not thinking consciously about utilizing it as an asset, and we’re not even thinking consciously about who we want to be in the face of adversity. What kind of person do we want to be when we’re dealing with challenges?
So I want to go over five pitfalls that you may face as you are dealing with adversity. Here are the common pitfalls. One, not making enough decisions. Now, think about this. All of your power as a human comes from your ability and willingness to make decisions.
Way too many of us live in maybe. We stay back here and we live in this land of maybe because we don’t want to face adversity. So we don’t make decisions that would create any adversity in our life.
The second pitfall is action mismanagement. So we’re doing things that don’t serve ourselves, or we’re not doing things that would serve us. So maybe the way we’re acting, or yelling, or freaking out, or hiding, or buffering. We’re doing things, we’re not managing our actions, we’re not managing our own behavior well because we don’t want to deal with any kind of adversity. It’s the opposite of embracing it and planning on it.
The next one is not staying conscious and thinking in power sentences. So a power sentence is a sentence that you decide to think as you face your adversity. I am going to show you and give you some examples of how to think when you’re going through adverse situations, and I’m going to give you some examples of some power sentences you can just take them and put them in your pocket, put them in your brain and use them as you’re facing chaos.
And as I coach you, I will offer you more for your specific situation about how to deal with your adversity in your own life. The fourth one is not questioning what is possible in your life. It’s kind of what I talked about earlier. Not busting through the concept, the idea that you can take this adversity and make it something beautiful. Make yourself more of who you are, become more evolved, help other people.
You see a lot of situations, so many beautiful situations where people go through adverse circumstances, terrible circumstances in their lives, and they come out of it stronger and humbler and giving and offering and helping other people come through those circumstances as well.
And that is what we want to start doing consciously with all of the little adversities in our life. Not just the big ones, but all the little ones because then we start stacking those skills.
The fifth pitfall to make sure that you don’t fall in is shutting down or off and escaping life instead of growing. And one of the main ways I see people do this is by overeating, overdrinking, over-social-mediaing, procrastinating, checking out of their own lives.
And the tragedy isn’t just that they do that. But the tragedy is then they beat themselves up for it after. So they go and they overeat or they overdrink or they do drugs or they stay on social media too long, and then they beat themselves up for doing that, which weakens them, weakens you, and makes you hide even more and want less adversity and become more scared.
It’s the opposite of building the skills of overcoming adversity. So if you think about for example my life and I have a specific goal to make $100 million in my business. And what excites me about that is I want to become an example of what is possible for other women that come behind me.
I feel like there’s so many women that went ahead of me that paved the way for me who I kind of picture them, they’re like, “Yo, what are you going to do? Look, we hooked you up. Are you going to do anything with what we have fought for you to have?” And my answer is yes, I am.
I appreciate what you’ve done for me as a woman and you were doing it for me because you didn’t even get to experience it in your lifetime, but I’m experiencing the benefit of that now, and I will create as much value as I can for the world, which then will be returned to me in abundance and in that abundance, I will be an example of what’s possible for women, what’s possible for life coaches, what’s possible in service, what’s possible when you do good in the world, what’s possible when you’re willing to work, when you’re willing to show up, but mostly what’s possible when you’re willing to put yourself in harm’s way to expose yourself to the world, to the elements, to the challenge of life when you don't have to, when you don’t need to, when you’re already set for life.
When you already have as much money and as much success as many friends and as many family members, you have it all done. You can just sit back and relax and enjoy and be at peace. And instead, I’m in there grinding, I’m in there working, I’m in there helping my clients, I’m in there creating new materials, trying to figure new things out, teaching new classes.
I want to be that example for other people. I want to create that value. And I know - think about the balance. The bigger the value I want to create, the bigger adversity I’m going to have to face. There is no way around it. It’s completely and perfectly balanced.
And so I can stay here and deal with 50:50 at this level, or I can go to the next level and deal with 50:50 there. And the reason I keep putting myself into adversity - adversity is going to come regardless. That’s how the world is. Look around. But I put myself into adversity because I want to get stronger.
And what I mean by putting myself into adversity is by creating a bigger goal, there’s a bigger challenge, there’s a bigger mountain to climb, there’s heavier weights to lift. I want to become stronger so I put my goal out there to create the challenges that I must overcome. And as I struggle to overcome them, I do some of them in such a way that makes me so strong and other times I just get my ass handed to me. I just get beat up in the process.
And I keep getting up and embracing that adversity in my own life by thinking about how do I want to think about it? Who do I want to be? And I’m always checking myself, and this is really important is how many stories am I creating?
Am I making up stories about how my life should be, about how this is unfair, about how this is too hard, about how this is unnecessary, about how it’s mean that other people don’t like it, how I’m not getting the support I need, about how other people say mean things about me?
Or am I living into that emotional struggle on purpose as part of the process? Not avoiding it, not hiding from it, not drinking over it, not eating over it, but being it. And that’s what I want to teach everyone how to do. That’s what’s so important to me.
So I want to give you some power sentences that I use. Now, for those of you who are new to me, I talk a lot about the thoughts that go on in your brain and how your thoughts create your feelings, your actions, and your results. But there are some power sentences, the most powerful sentences that you may not even know that you have that are pounding you every single day and creating a negative result in your life. Completely optional adversity.
The truth is there’s enough real adversity in the world. We don’t need to beat ourselves up in our brain. We’re still going to be able to deal and get stronger with adversity. But we want to look into our brain and see, are we thinking thoughts that are hurting us?
And I was at an event last week and I asked someone, I said, “Hey, what’s your power sentence about your business right now?” One of my friends there just said, “I’m leaving a lot of money on the table.” And it just sounded kind of lovely, but I asked him, I said, “How does that feel when you think that?” He goes, “I feel inadequate, I feel terrible.” And that was a thought which is going over and over and over and over in his brain.
And I think he thought it might be a positive sentence where I need to find solutions so I’m not leaving money on the table. But really, it was one that was just creating a sense of inadequacy. So I really want to be able to help those of you who don’t know, am I creating this adversity? Am I creating these negative results in my life and are they optional? Because it feels like it’s happening to me, but it might be you that’s creating it, and that’s what I want to help.
You have so much more power than you realize you have over your own brain and so much more capacity to grow than you’ve maybe allowed yourself to explore. So that’s what I want to coach you on today. That’s what I want to help you with today.
And I’m going to give you all some power sentences. Now, when I give you a sentence, it’s like you get to try it on like you’re going into a dressing room. So you’ll put the sentence in your brain and you’ll see, how does it feel? Listen to it, feel it. Does it make you feel amazing? Can you believe it? Does it lock in?
Sometimes I’ll give someone a sentence, they’ll be like, “Yes, that’s the sentence I need.” Or I’ll read a quote, like from Maya Angelou and she’ll say something, “There will be defeat but don’t be defeated.” It’s so good. That’s a power sentence. Plan on defeat but don’t be defeated in your own mind.
So the first thing you want to do is clear out any negative sentences. So you want to do what we call thought downloads. You want to just run those thoughts, get them out of your brain, see if there’s anything negative that comes up.
And then we want to decide consciously how to think about adversity, how to think about challenges, how to think about the gap between where your goal is and where you want to be in terms of maybe it’s your weight, maybe it’s your relationship, maybe it’s finding someone, maybe it’s how much money you’re making. How do you want to think about that gap? Because you could see that it’s an adverse challenge. You can see that as a mountain to climb.
And a lot of times, we start beating ourselves up because of the mountain, because of the gap. We don’t want that to be there, but it’s supposed to be there. That ladder you climb to get to that place where you’re going is the point, that is the weight in the gym. That’s what makes you stronger.
And I will tell you, when things are hard to create, you will feel so much more proud when you create them. The things that have been the most challenging things for me to do, when I’m done with them, I’m like, yes girl, yes, you did that, that was hard and I’m proud of you.
Sometimes things are easy and I’m like, that was lucky or whatever, it didn’t make me stronger. I’ve come to really appreciate the hard things. So here are four of my power sentences. You’re more than welcome to use them. One is adversity helps me explore my capacity. And one of the most important things for me to do is explore the capacity that I’ve been given.
And I love that our own capacity is unknown to us. What are you capable of? You don't know until you try. Isn’t that fantastic? You won’t know what your capacity was until you’re dying, until you’re done. I look at my future, I feel like I’m halfway through my life. I’m 50 years old. I feel like I’m halfway through my life.
I’ve explored a lot of capacity already. But will I double it? Will I triple it? Will I 10X my current capacity? What is my capacity? I especially want to explore my capacity to love. I talk a lot about how can you love in the face of adversity, especially with another human, when they treat you poorly, or they provide you with misfortune. Can you love them? How big can I love? I want to find out.
Genuine love. Not pretend love, not fake love, but can I find love in the moment of adversity? Can I find acceptance and forgiveness in those moments? Can I expand my capacity to succeed? I don’t want any unused success in me when I’m done. I feel like my life is here for a reason, for a purpose, for me to expand that success, expand that love, expand that value that I can offer the world.
Right in this moment, I’m offering value to the world. I’m offering value to my people. You are hearing it, and hopefully someone is saying yes, I have value too and I want to offer my value to the world, and I don’t want the threat of any kind of adverse thing happening to prevent me from exploring that capacity.
Number two, I am strong and this can make me stronger. So the I am strong part makes me really feel like whatever it is, I can handle it. I’m ready for it. I have the tools. I know how to face adversity. And not only that, as I face this and as I go through this, I will become stronger because of it. I will stack another layer of strength and growth and awareness because I have opened myself up to this challenging situation.
So number one is adversity helps me explore my capacity. Number two is I am strong and this can make me stronger. Number three is I was built powerfully for this. Human beings - think about this. Think about the capacity of human beings.
We were built to survive. We were built to innovate. We were built to create. We were built to have huge impact on the people around us. That’s extraordinary. Don’t you want to be like - it’s kind of like you’re your own mechanic. You’re your own inventor. You’re not your own inventor but your own receiver. You have to figure out what you’re made of.
How much were you built for? What were you designed to do? I did this podcast - I’m obsessed with diet root beer right now, I know I’m going to get in trouble from some of you. I wrote this podcast one time where I feel like a lot of you - I was on a hike one day and I looked down and there was a butterfly walking around.
I was like, what is this butterfly doing? Why is it walking around on its thin little legs? And it made me think how many of us are butterflies walking. We haven’t even explored our capacity to fly because we’re afraid. We’re just walking. We’re like, no, I’m a good walker, I’m good at this, I’m going to stick with this, without even exploring the capacity to fly because we might fall, we might not work out. It’s crazy.
What were you built for? Do you even know? Are you a butterfly walking? And the last one that’s really powerful for me is I embrace all challenges. All of them. So that means this is what this is in my physiology. When something negative happens out there in the world, I open to it instead of closing from it. I open to it. How can I use this as an asset? I want to embrace this challenge.
And I promise you, when you embrace challenges, you become less victim-ish. You become less afraid. You become less reactive. You become less angry and more powerful. So here they are again. Adversity helps me explore my capacity. I am strong and this can make me stronger. I was built powerfully for this. And I embrace all challenges.
Now, I’m going to take the rest of the time to coach - there’s a lot of you that want to be coached. I’m going to coach as many of you as I can. You just simply need to raise your hand. But before I do that, I know that many of you are going to want more, and the reason I did this webinar is to give you some content so you can go out into this adverse world with a completely different attitude.
But I also want to invite you for more. I want to invite you to come and spend three days with me and go through this entire process virtually. We’re calling it Life Coach Live and I want you to come with me. Every single person on here, I know there’s several of you on here who are already coming, but I want to invite you all to come.
Because what we’re going to do is basically break down the entire system of our brain, our emotional life, our behavioral life, and rebuild it. I’ve never done this in three days before. It’s usually taken me much longer to work but I will tell you, as I evolve my capacity, I become a better teacher, I become a better coach, I become a better student even of myself.
And as I become more successful and better at what I do, all my students benefit from that. So it’s November 18th, 19th, and 20th. I want every single one of you to seriously consider making a decision to change the way you approach your life. And to expand what you believe may be your capacity for your life.
And you can sign up at TheLifeCoachSchool.com/LifeCoachLive. And you can do that right now while I’m coaching students. If you’ve never seen coaching live, stay on because we’re going to coach through adversity and I’m going to keep dropping power sentences for the next 10 to 20 minutes to show you how to address adversity.
And if you want more, I’m going to coach you for three full days in Life Coach Live, so make sure you to go to TheLifeCoachSchool.com/LifeCoachLive. Alright, who’s first? Who wants coaching first? Deidre, let’s go. Hey.
Deidre: Hi there. Excited, super excited.
Brooke: Yeah, let’s go.
Deidre: Okay. So I recently lost my job and over the past I’d say 10 years I’ve lost my job four times and I’m wondering if this is the universe trying to tell me something. This topic is so relevant for me right now because what do I do with this? What do I do with this?
Brooke: So the way that I like to address any kind of adversity is to separate out the facts from the drama. We call it the math and the drama. So you’ve been let go four different times from - is it the same career?
Brooke: What is the reason why you were let go? And don’t tell me your opinion. Tell me what they said.
Deidre: What they said is budget issues. So I was usually let go as part of cost-cutting initiatives.
Brooke: Okay. So the way that we look at any kind of adverse situation is like what are the facts, so they basically said they cut you four different times because of cost-cutting issues in your industry. What industry are you in?
Deidre: Marketing. So I actually - two was for budget and two was for performance. They didn’t like the number of leads I was not generating.
Brooke: Got it. And you’re in marketing. Your performance is very measurable there, right? So what is your thought about yourself? So you told me the math, which is their thought about you and the business and the need, but what is your thought about you?
Deidre: I didn’t do something that I was supposed to do. I didn’t have a more high-level view. I was too busy paying attention to things over here when I should have been paying attention to things over here.
Brooke: So how does that feel when you say that to yourself?
Deidre: It sucks.
Brooke: Okay. You feel, what? Defeated? You feel inadequate? You feel regret?
Deidre: Yeah, I have this word, deflated. I feel defeated and deflated all in the same breath.
Brooke: Okay. So if we kind of take the lessons that I taught today in this webinar, you’re currently facing adversity in the sense that you want a job and you don’t have a job. Is that correct?
Brooke: And your past four jobs, they've let you go for whatever reason and you’re making that mean that you didn’t do it right somehow. Now, here’s what’s interesting. There are times when you can look at, oh, I see why they let me go there. And that can be super empowering because you can be like, “Oh, I didn’t perform in the way that they needed me to perform, and therefore they let me go.”
And you can see that as, okay, I learned something, now I know what I should have been doing. Now I feel like I have more knowledge now that I can take to my next job. Because here’s what’s true and this is for those of you who are entrepreneurs and those of you who are employees.
You get paid for the value that you create for someone else. Who determines the value is the person paying because they’re either willing to pay for it or not. It’s subjective. They decide whether it’s valuable or not. So for example, I’m selling Life Coach Live right now.
If someone buys it, it’s not because I know that it’s incredibly valuable but because they believe that it’s valuable. So it’s the same with your employer, the next employer that’s going to hire you, right? They’re going to hire you because they think you’re valuable, more valuable than what they’re going to pay you. You following?
Brooke: Okay. Do you think that you’re more valuable for the job that you want than they’re paying?
Deidre: I’m starting to adopt that thinking. I don’t think that I thought that before.
Brooke: Right. Because if you go into a job and you have a power sentence in your brain that you’re not even aware of that is preventing you, that is sabotaging you, that is holding you back, that’s keeping you from showing up, or keeping you from asking the right questions, or focusing on what the needs of the employer were, you will end up not being as valuable and offering as much value as you could.
Now, that doesn’t mean that you're not as a person valuable at all. That’s not what it means. It just means that you’re not providing the right value to the right person who’s paying you. So if someone’s going to hire you and they’re going to say, “Listen, I’m hiring you because I need you to get me some clients, and if you don’t get my clients, you got to go.” That’s fair, right?
Brooke: Okay. So what job do you want?
Deidre: I was a CMO and I want another CMO role.
Brooke: Okay, you want a CMO job. So do you understand the value that you need to create in order to get paid what you want to get paid?
Deidre: Yes, and I think that in this previous job because I was hired as a VP and then I was promoted to a CMO, and I don’t think that I ever fully - I didn’t feel like I was really worthy I guess at that point of being promoted to a Chief Marketing Officer role.
Brooke: So then it would make sense that they would let you go. You don’t believe in it. You’re not going to show up as it. Now, here’s how I’m going to help you think about this next hire, this next job that you go into as a CMO. You have to not look at it from your perspective whether you’re worthy or not because that is not what is going to serve you. What’s going to serve you is what do they need?
First of all, why does a CMO even exist? What do they need from me? And how can I overdeliver on value that there’s no way they could ever ask me to leave? And listen everyone, this is not creating value by overworking or being there too many hours or day or hustling or anything like that. It’s what do they actually care about? What do they actually need? What would be their dream come true, and providing that to them.
It’s so much more simple. But we won’t ever even think about them if all we’re worried is about our own worthiness. So listen, remember when I was talking about the different types of adversity? This is internal made-up adversity in your own mind.
Deidre: These are the stories I’m telling myself.
Brooke: Yes. Listen, you are capable, you are valuable, someone would be amazingly excited to have you work for them if you could be focused on them and providing value to them and not lost in your own mind, I promise you that’s true. Okay?
Brooke: Make it happen, Deidre.
Deidre: Alright, thank you.
Brooke: You’re welcome.
Brooke: Alright, let’s do one more. Who’s it going to be? How about you, Gaby?
Gaby: Oh my God, I never thought I was going to get picked. I’m stuffing my face. Hi. I’m eating dinner. Okay, so I own my own business, I’m a general contractor and I own a construction company. It’s a change of career for me. I was in finance for a decade and then I left my nine to five job, something that came from the pandemic.
I always loved construction, I left that job, I opened my business, 2021 went really well, except that I overextended myself. And then 2022, I kind of changed how I sort of do business and then recently I was faced with a really challenging client. It’s still going on.
It was a larger innovation, I took them on, and I knew when I was going through the contract and proposal process, I kept hearing this little voice in my head, “This is going to be problematic.”
Brooke: So where are we now? Fast forward to right now.
Gaby: I had to cut the project short because they are very problematic to the point that I’m getting sick. So I am internally, I’m like, oh my God, I suck, I’m a bad business owner, I fired a client, no one ever freaking does this. I’m having all this internal conversation.
Brooke: So notice, I can’t wait for you to watch this back because this is what our brains do. We’re like, “And then this, and then this, and then this,” and we just pile it up. All the adversity. And then this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened, and then it feels like this big heavy weight.
It’s like we pull from the past to kind of display this thing. So here’s what I want you to tell me. I want you to tell me in one sentence what are the facts of the current situation. And it has to be factual. You have a client…
Gaby: I have a client to in order for me to complete the job I had to rescope the job because I have to pay my guys more, I have to buy material than it more expensive than when I proposed it to them in May. I sent them the rescope, they didn’t accept it. I couldn’t take on the job because I would lose money.
Brooke: Now, if you tell that story just in a very professional, chill way, with no emotion on it, just facts, right? Now, I know you have a lot of emotion on it. And I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t. I’m just saying we got to separate the facts from the story here. Because facts don’t make us sick. Facts don’t make us emotional. Facts are just facts. So you have a client, there was an increase in the cost of materials, you re-proposed it, they said no, you couldn’t do it. That’s it.
Gaby: They got really pissed off at me.
Brooke: Okay. They’re mad. So instead of saying they got really pissed off, which is your opinion and your description, what exactly happened? Tell me the facts.
Gaby: I told them I couldn’t move forward with the project. They asked why. I told them the reasons that I just told you. And then they got pissed…
Brooke: No, I don’t know what that means. I don’t know what they got pissed means. You got to tell me factually what happened.
Gaby: I told them I couldn’t move forward because x, y, z. And then the next day I sent them a contract amendment, and they decided to take the out option. I gave them two options.
Brooke: Listen, stay with me, this is really important. Pay attention you guys because this is really important to separate out the facts. You’re saying they got really pissed. That’s your opinion. Perception, right? They didn’t sign the contract. What made you think that they were pissed? What did they exactly do?
Gaby: They said you suck.
Brooke: They said you suck.
Brooke: Okay. They said you have cost me a lot of anxiety and I haven’t been able to sleep in three months because you suck and you’re mean and you’re bullying me.
Brooke: Okay, that’s what they said to you?
Brooke: Okay, so that’s exact, that’s factual. That’s what they actually said, right? And it’s really important - this is really important for everyone. When you’re going through adverse situations, what exactly happened and what were my thoughts about it? What was your thought when a client of yours said something like that to you?
Gaby: Well, I said…
Brooke: Listen, I don’t want to know what you said. I want to know what you thought.
Gaby: You really want to know what I thought?
Brooke: I want to know what you thought about you.
Gaby: Oh, about me. Fuck, I’m a bully. I mistreat my clients.
Brooke: Was that real? Did you? Could you find it? Were you had?
Gaby: No, my clients love me.
Brooke: But had you mistreated this client?
Brooke: Had you bullied this client?
Brooke: So why would you think that when they said that?
Gaby: Maybe because I’m just - when I say something I say it very in a matter of fact way. And I notice that she doesn’t like that. She doesn’t like that I’m sort of - it’s not that I’m pushy, but when I say things, I say things because that’s how they are and that’s how they will be done.
Brooke: So here’s what’s real. This is really important in all relationship coaching. First of all, there’s what you think, then there’s what you say, then there’s what they hear, and then there’s what they think. That’s communication. So the way she perceived you, her opinion of you, and her thoughts about you and what she conveyed to you is all hers, right?
Brooke: Now, you get to decide and this is back to the lesson that we did today. You get to decide who do you want to be through this process now?
Gaby: I still want to be an assertive person like I am. I don’t want to doubt myself.
Gaby: But there was a moment of doubt and that’s where I’m going back to and I don’t like that feeling. I’m doubting myself. I don’t like it.
Brooke: So that’s so important Gaby for you to understand that it’s not her doubting you. It’s not her saying those things to you. It’s you believing them and you doubting you that’s causing you the pain here. Now, I will tell you this because I’m a very assertive, direct person too. Many times, people misperceive that, misperceive my intention or how I show up.
And I have a couple of ways that I deal with that. One is I never overestimate how amazing it could be to just apologize. I’m sorry that you feel that way. I’m sorry that you took it that way. I’m sorry that you perceived it that way. That’s one way I handle it.
The other thing I always say to myself is that I allow other people to be wrong about me with compassion. It’s okay that they’re wrong about me. And I get to decide who I want to be in the world. And so I love that you said, “I still want to be me. I still want to be an assertive person. I still want to be the person that I am. Most of my clients love me and love working with me in that way.”
And this client doesn’t. We’re just not a good match. She doesn’t like the way I communicate and I don’t like the way she doesn’t want to pay me. It’s not a good match. And that’s okay. That’s okay. But it’s when we start to doubt ourselves and beat up on ourselves.
This is why I asked you if it was real. Because sometimes we mess up or we make a mistake or we do something, we’re like, “Huh, they’re probably right.” It doesn’t sound like that’s the situation here. It doesn’t sound like there was a circumstance where you felt that way. And so it might be more appropriate here to be like, it’s okay for her to be wrong about me.
And when you summarize something as, “Oh my gosh, this is a big huge dramatic thing,” versus, “This is a situation with a client that didn’t work out,” does it feel different to you to describe it that way? It’s still adverse.
Gaby: Yeah. I mean it feels like it’s part of doing business. Things like this do happen.
Brooke: Yeah. And you know what? Some people don’t like me.
Gaby: Yeah, I’m sure people don’t like me.
Brooke: She doesn’t.
Gaby: She doesn’t. That’s okay.
Brooke: That’s okay, right? That’s okay. Why was it making you sick that they were so mad? Why was it making you sick that they thought you suck?
Gaby: Because there is underlying fear that they’re going to give me bad reputation and this business reputation is everything. So there is that underlying fear there.
Brooke: Right. So when you think the thought - and this is just one thought. This is drama added on to the adverse situation is these people are going to ruin my reputation and reputation is everything. And one out of however many clients you’ve had may ruin my reputation. And you can see that that’s just an optional thought. You could think something different. What could you think instead?
Gaby: I could think one out of 45 clients can’t ruin a reputation because 44 clients are very happy with their beautiful renovations.
Brooke: Yeah. Now, I’m going to ask you a question. If this situation is happening on purpose for you, how might that be? How might this be super useful? How might this be the weight that you need to lift? How might this be the opportunity that you need to have?
Gaby: I need to follow and respect my intuition because my intuition since the very beginning told me not to take on this client.
Brooke: Okay, so that’s one thing. But you did. So what else?
Gaby: I can’t let what others are telling me about me be my truth because it’s not.
Gaby: At the end of the day they’re words.
Brooke: Words, opinions, thoughts. It’s like people sometimes want to be treated a certain way, they want to be talked to a certain way, they want to have a relationship a certain way, and that’s not how we show up in the world. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean anyone’s doing anything wrong. We don’t have to be mad at her, even though she’s losing her mind.
Everybody has their own thoughts in their head. Everyone else is creating their drama. And if you can understand where she might be coming from in her world, it makes it less about you and it makes you more compassionate with her. You know what I’m saying?
Gaby: Right. That’s right.
Brooke: So tell me what you think is going on with her.
Gaby: Well, I certainly don’t have the capacity to fulfill what she needs and I did say to her that I’m not responsible for her emotional wellbeing but I am responsible for her kitchen. And she got really angry because the conversation wasn’t about construction and numbers. It was about emotions. So I was like, wait…
Brooke: Wait. I want to make sure you hear my question. Because I don’t think you have any reason to defend yourself here at all. I’m just curious what might be going on for this woman. Like if she was one of my clients, I’d be like, what’s the matter, love? What’s going on? Why are we so upset about the kitchen? Why is the kitchen so important?
Gaby: There’s a level of perfectionism and controlling the process of something that is not in her control that is making her unstable. Or maybe not unstable but sort of very uncomfortable.
Brooke: Yes. Have you ever felt like that before?
Brooke: Me too. Me too. And so it sounds like she’s a little bit scared about her kitchen not being right, not being perfect, and what that might mean in some way in her life. And she’s taking it out on you it sounds like maybe a little bit. But we can get that, we can feel that, we can understand that. It’s not about us. We know that it’s not about us but that’s why we don’t need to defend ourselves.
We don’t need to push back. We don’t need to be resistant. We don’t need to over-explain ourselves. When we understand that they’re going through it with their kitchen, we can be in a place that’s more compassionate and decide how we want to be in the world because the last thing we want to do is show up in the way that we’re afraid we’re showing up. You know what I’m saying?
We don’t want to be in the place where we’re having to defend ourselves, so then we end up being bully-ish, right? We end up doing the exact thing that we don’t want to do because we’re trying to defend ourselves because we’re not bullies.
I used to yell at my husband like, “Why are you yelling at the kids? Yelling is not okay,” as I’m yelling at him. And so we’re all just humans bumping into each other in the world and you and your client - she sounds like she’s really worried about this kitchen and really worried about her money and really worried about the fact that it’s not going to get done the way she wants and she’s really disappointed about that.
And I’ve been in a position where I’ve felt that way before, so I understand it. I don’t think it’s your fault at all but it doesn’t mean we can’t have compassion for her. And as soon as we drop into compassion, you’ll realize it has nothing to do with you and you’ll stop defending.
Gaby: It’s true. Sometimes I feel like she needs a hug. It would be weird if I go and hug her but…
Brooke: Don’t do that.
Gaby: Somebody needs to hug her.
Brooke: But this is my point to you is if you stay in your compassion and out of your defensiveness, you’re not going to feel sick, you’re not going to feel upset, you’re not going to feel like you’re doing something wrong. You’re going to be able to stay being the person that you most want to be. And that’s what we’re called to do in adverse situations.
That’s why we ask ourselves, how do we want to handle this? And Gaby, this is a great question for you to ask. How do you want to finish this relationship with this other human being?
Gaby: In a respectful way.
Gaby: I want to treat her with respect and vice versa.
Brooke: Listen, Gaby, let me explain something to you. We can’t control the other humans. That does not work. Listen, if I could teach you how to control the other humans, I’d be a lot richer than I already am. We can’t control her. So you can’t ask how do you want her to behave because we can’t control - we’ve already tried to control this woman, yeah?
Brooke: Not working. So she gets to be her. She gets to be in pain. She gets to be scared. She gets to be afraid. She gets to be human. We can’t control that. But we can control ourselves. We control who we want to be, no matter how she shows up. You can remain respectful no matter what. You can remain in compassion no matter what. You get to decide who you want to be regardless of what she does. Do you know what I’m saying?
So I would imagine in your mind, situations where maybe she’s not being respectful because she doesn’t have the tools that you have and how you want to respond and how you want to be. Because this is what can happen. It’s so crazy.
If you're like, I’m so worried about my reputation, I’m worried she’s going to ruin my reputation, that you end up inadvertently ruining your own reputation because you’re pushing so hard against it.
Gaby: That’s true.
Brooke: It’s so crazy.
Gaby: This has been very helpful, Brooke. Thank you.
Brooke: I’m glad, you’re welcome. Decide on purpose who you’re going to be no matter what. What do you call yourself? What’s your title?
Gaby: A general contractor.
Brooke: How I’m going to be as a general contractor for the rest of this contract. And at the end of it, just be super proud of how you showed up. And what you can realize is this woman could really be an asset in your life and teach you so much about managing yourself. Almost like it was part of your path on purpose. It could be. And you can thank her quietly. Don’t thank her verbally.
Gaby: No hugs.
Brooke: Alright Gaby.
Gaby: Thank you.
Brooke: Okay my friends, thank you guys so much. I’m not going to do any more coaching. I do want to answer any questions that have come up in the Q&A so I’m just going to stay here for a few more minutes and just see if there’s anything I can address in here.
“I want to join Life Coach Live virtually but I’m working those three days. Will there be a replay? Also what are the hours of the event?” Okay, it is not an event that we’re going to have a replay on because this is a live workshop that we’re going to be doing live. So even if you do it virtually, you’re going to be doing it in your house as if you’re a participant.
We’re going to have a huge wall with video so I can see your faces, call on you, and talk to you. So we need you to be present. Not present at the event in Arizona, but present at your computer for those three days. I’m just going to go through kind of what I’m going to teach there for those of you who are still on here and are still interested.
If you’re not interested in Life Coach Live, you can hang up, you don’t have to listen to any of this. For those of you who are interested in Life Coach Live, I’m just going to run through it really quickly. We’re going to start the day with a whole lesson that I’m teaching on attempting greatness.
Not becoming great, but the importance of attempting greatness and how powerful that is. And I created a whole curriculum around it. We’re going to do a full audit of where we are now, we’re going to do a two-part series where you audit your current life, where you are now, and you uncover - kind of like what we just did there.
What are your thoughts that are going on? What are the feelings? What are the behaviors? What are the actions? When you look at your life, where are you in terms of your capacity right now, and we’re going to do a complete unveiling in a couple-hour process that I created.
Then we’re going to switch gears and focus on where we want to be in terms of possibility and reinvention and possibility drops and dreams. And then we’re going to talk about how to live from that future. This is the process that I started about four years ago, living from my future, and it’s how I’ve been able to create such exponential success in my life.
We’re going to talk about desire and how important it is to acknowledge what you want. So even as I was coaching earlier and we were talking about the desire to maybe leave a marriage, the desire to maybe get a job, the desire to maybe stay in a marriage, the desire to keep our kids happy, what is that desire? What happens when we don’t acknowledge our desire?
I think our desire is the map to our dreams if it’s pure desire. So I’m going to teach you how to know the difference and how to acknowledge it. And then we’re going to talk about how to create value and contribution with your life.
So many of you have been telling me how hungry you are for more contribution and more purpose in your life, and I’m going to teach you how to create it. I’m going to teach you how to have a value proposition that you create for the world and how that comes back tenfold in terms of abundance.
And then we’re going to talk to some of my students and some of my friends about the ripple effect I’ve had from doing my offer to the world and how their offers have had a ripple effect in the world. And I’m going to demonstrate the power of contribution into the world because I think people are underestimating what one person can do, what you can do in your life.
Then we’re going to talk about turning your desire into decision. We’ve talked a lot about that today. Making decisions and not living in the land of miserable maybe. The next thing we’re going to talk about is planning the action to overcome the obstacles because when you create a big possibility in your life, you will have obstacles, you will have adversity.
We’re going to talk about how to overcome that adversity to achieve your dreams. The obstacles are the way, my friends. The obstacles create the map. The obstacles are the weights in the gym. We want there to be obstacles. The bigger the goal, the bigger the obstacles, the bigger the growth. Let’s go.
And then Stacey Boehman is going to talk, she’s going to come in and talk about believing new things, how to create abundance and wealth. She’s creating 10s of millions of dollars on her life and how she went from barely scraping by making money being a salesperson in Costco and Walmart into being an eight-figure coach killing it in the world.
Then we’re going to talk about the power of sentences with Corinne Crabtree. She’s going to talk about how she used her mind to lose 100 pounds and make $10 million. Then Judith Gaton is going to come on and talk about being fabulous without feeling like an imposter. We talked a little bit about that today.
And then I’m going to finish up the whole entire three-day event with what to do when you feel afraid, lonely, doubtful, and uninspired. And one of the things that’s important about spending three solid days with me in your face is you will be changed by the end of it. Guaranteed.
If you come and you show up and you do the work, you will be a different person. This opportunity to work with me this closely at this price has never happened before in the history of my career. I have never done anything this intense for this low of a price, and I probably never will again.
This has been a very big undertaking. I’ve spent a lot of time on this curriculum, so I really want to encourage you to come and participate in this live three-day event if you can do it. Go to TheLifeCoachSchool.com/LifeCoachLive.
Where exactly in Phoenix is the event? The location should be on there. I think it’s called The Arizona Grand is the name of the hotel. It’s in Scottsdale. We’re not recording it and putting it in Scholars. No. This is a separate event that is just an independent event for Life Coach Live.
This has been so awesome. Thank you all so much for joining us. This has been such a great experience broadcasting live into the social media stratosphere and being able to see so many people here on Zoom and to coach you all live. It is my honor and my pleasure to be your teacher.
I cannot wait for Life Coach Live. It’s coming up. Sign up now. Don’t miss out. Have a beautiful day everyone. Take care. Bye-bye.
Hey, if you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out Self-Coaching Scholars. It's my monthly coaching program where we take all this material and we apply it. We take it to the next level and we study it. Join me over at the TheLifeCoachSchool.com/join. Make sure you type in the TheLifeCoachSchool.com/join. I'd love to have you join me in Self-Coaching Scholars. See you there.