I have been receiving so many emails from many of you who are in pain and want help with your pain. And I want to help with what you’re going through, all the pain and unnecessary suffering you’re going through.
I want to remind you that, despite the pain you may be experiencing, you are enough, you are worthy, and you are loved.
It is very likely that hate will present itself to you during this time. You will be tempted to accept and indulge in self loathing. But I want you to refuse this invitation.
We all have a need to be accepted by others and ourselves. We make our worth mean whatever other people think about us when, really, our worthiness is determined by how we view ourselves. Your worthiness always has been and always will be absolute.
One of the ways I’ve been helping my friends and students is by sharing these writings, these truths, from the lessons I’ve learned over the last 14 years.
Today, I’m reading you some of the pieces that I think can help. I hope they will give you some thoughts to think as we go through this.
I want you to know that I am not afraid of anything you bring to me. Anything you need me to help you with, I want to see it and I want to help you in any way I can. I want you to believe you are worthy. I love you.
What you will discover
- How I’ve been helping my friends and students with their pain.
- A few of my pieces on courage, worth, resilience, grief, and being willing.
- That I am here for you in whatever way I can be.
Featured on the show
- Learn more about the Self Coaching Scholars program.
A quick note before we get started. In last week’s episode, I talked about this week’s episode being a podcast on racism and the model. And I just wanted to let you know, we are still working on that podcast with some of the best minds that I know and we are going to put that podcast out as soon as it’s ready. So, in the meantime, please enjoy this week’s episode.
You are listening to The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo.
Welcome to The Life Coach School Podcast, where it’s all about real clients, real problems and real coaching. And now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.
Well hello there, my friends. How are you doing? Not so good, some of you, right? I’ve been getting so many emails from so many people who are in pain and who want help with their pain. So many people coming to us at The Life Coach School, wanting help with their pain.
And I just want to tell you that I want you to feel absolutely 100% free to bring us your pain. I want to help with what you’re going through. I want to help with all pain and all suffering in any way that I know how. And teaching people how to process through pain so they can get to the other side and do something good is my mission right now.
So, one of the ways that I’ve been helping my friends and my students and the people coming to me privately for help and the people in Scholars who want my help, is by writing truths that I believe, writing lessons that I’ve studied over the past, I’m going to say 14, years from my teachers that have been really helpful for my students.
And so, I have a few pieces of writing that I think will help during this time. And I thought I would, instead of just typing them and putting them in Slack channels and that sort of thing, I thought I would read them to all of you who are currently struggling and suffering and in pain.
And so, I feel like this is the time for us to be in pain and for us to be courageous enough to experience it and keep our eyes open and our hearts open. And so, I’m hoping that some of these writings will help you and give you some thoughts to think as we’re going through this and as you are doing all of this super-important work on your lives. So, here we go.
I’m going to start with the first one, which is – I called it Courage. “Courage is what you do when you are afraid. Courage is what you do when you are brought to your knees by your life. Courage is loving yourself when it seems no one else does. Courage is finding where you got it wrong, telling the truth, and being willing to get it wrong again.
Courage is speaking up when you’d rather look away. Courage is the willingness to keep looking for the best in yourself and other humans, no matter what. Courage is yours, given to you to claim as a tool to keep moving forward, even when it seems like you can’t.”
Here’s the next piece. It’s called You Are Worthy, “With all your mistakes, you are enough. You are worthy. You are loved. You will get it so wrong so hard sometimes. And still, you are a worthy human. Hate is an option that will present itself to you. You will be tempted to accept and indulge in self-loathing. Refuse this invitation.
Choose to love yourself through the temptation. Look in that mirror. Right now, even with the pain of regret, confusion, anger, and defensiveness, and remind yourself, your worthiness is absolute and there’s nothing anyone, including you, can do about that.”
The next piece is called Keep Going, “I know it’s hard, but you can do hard things. Stop telling yourself you can’t. You can. You are. Dig deep into yourself and find out what you’re made of. You’re not going to find that on vacation. You’re going to find out how strong you are when things are the hardest.
If you ask a lot of yourself, you will be surprised at what you’re capable of. The harder the thing, the more of a chance you have to blow your own damn mind.”
This one is called Grief, “If you are a human, a conscious human, at some point, you will experience the terror of being alive. You will see, hear about, and most likely directly experience horrifying things. The despair and rage and pain will consume your mind and emotions.
Showing up to face another day will seem impossible. And yet, you will. You will show up with a grief so heavy, you can barely walk. You will wonder how the sun can still come up or children can still be laughing. And then, you will remember the grief is so heavy because you love so deep and you care so much.”
And finally, this piece is called Be Willing. A girlfriend of mine who is currently going through a lot of very personal struggles, on top of all of the pain that she has experienced because of what’s happening in our world told me that – she said, “Brooke, if you want a big life, it’s going to include big emotions.”
And we both were just like, “Wow, that is the truth.” Be careful what you wish for, right? The bigger the life, the bigger the emotions, the bigger you’re going to experience everything. And so, I wrote this while I was thinking about that, and I know she’s listening and I love you so much.
“Be willing. Be willing to experience any dark emotion. They are harmless if you open yourself to the darkest corners of it. Breathe it in. Feel it through your entire body. Welcome it. Let it flow and move and don’t let it get stuck. When you allow for the worst and know that you can handle it, you will experience clean, hot pain. Be willing. It cannot kill you. You can handle it. Open. Breathe it in.”
I want to offer that I have so much love right now, and so much energy, and so much pull from my future self into my future life that is motivating me to do all the things that I’m so excited to do right now. And I am not afraid of anything you bring to me.
Whatever you want me to help you with in terms of your coaching, in terms of your pain, in terms of what you’re going through, I want to see you. I want to see it. And I want to help you in any way I can. I love, love, love you, and I’ll talk to you next week.