We tend to believe that when things end it’s a failure.
Maybe a business doesn’t last.
Maybe a marriage doesn’t go all the way.
A relationship fades into nothing.
Somehow, because of this “failure,” we aren’t doing it right.
This simply isn’t true.
The end of something does not mean you failed.
It simply means it’s time to move on.
Here’s how:
It’s Time to Embrace Failure
First and foremost, it’s important for us to understand that relationships and jobs and careers and even places that we live can end.
These are not forever.
Our time in this life is finite.
These relationships, businesses, and places can end, and they still can be a tremendous success, complete, and amazing.
You do not have to keep going at something in order for it to be successful.
You can bring it to an end with grace and respect for all those involved.
How to decide when to leave
Before you leave, you’ll want to do this:
Get happy.
If you’re happy, why would you leave?
Because you want to leave.
This is your life.
You get to decide what you want to do with it.
The decisions are yours.
It’s where all your power is.
You do not have to be unhappy to change something. And you do not have to change something to be happy. This is chasing happiness instead of becoming happy.
When you get happy first, then you’re able to make clearer, truer decision for your life.
Are You Chasing Happiness?
If you are in a hurry, you’re chasing happiness.
Unhappy at a job? How about your marriage? Is a business partnership dragging you down?
Anything that you feel a sense of urgency to change so you can be happier, you haven’t done the work to get happy first.
When you can leave something slowly and with love and with caring and with communication, you can do that in a way that honors the people that are associated with you.
You can leave something without destroying it.
A lot of people experience this turmoil because there’s a belief that an abrupt, destructive move must occur to change something.
Have you experienced this before?
People no longer happy in their marriage lie to one another, cheat on one another, and treat one another terribly so they can have some kind of excuse to leave.
You don’t have to justify your decisions to anyone.
Remember, however, it’s really important that you’re able to have a sense of calm and peace and love around those decisions, especially when you’re making decisions that affect other people and change your life.
And if you aren’t, you have work to do.
Don’t Be in a Hurry to Get Out of Pain
Let’s say you find yourself wanting to change something
Maybe you want to leave something
Maybe you want to quit something.
The first step?
Breathe.
The only thing you’re in a hurry about right now is to get out of pain.
And you don’t need to change any kind of circumstance in order to get out of pain.
You can just change the way you’re thinking about something.
Yes, it’s that simple.
In terms of a relationship, if you start feeling a sense of dissatisfaction or you start feeling some incompatibility or you feel like something isn’t working there, or you just feel unhappy in your relationship, it’s very normal to have the inclination to want to leave, to want to escape, to want to get rid of that thing that is the “source, of your unhappiness.”
“Well, how do you know when you should stay and work on the relationship or when you should leave?”
This is the wrong question.
The question is:
“How do you know if you should stay and work on your mind, or if you’re ready to leave?
And one of the best indicators to stay and work on your own mind?
You can tell the truth.
You can have an open dialogue.
You can have open communication.
You feel good about it.
You don’t have fear and shame around it because you’ve processed the work around it.
If you’re in a hurry, slow down, take a breath.
You can change something with love.
And in most situations, you can love – when there’s no abuse involved – you can love the situation.
You can love what it’s done for you. You can love the history of it. You can love the person. You can love your manager. You can love your coworkers.
There can be love all around.
You don’t have to get to a space where there’s anger and hate and all of these things. It’s completely unnecessary.
Slow down. Find your way to love.
And if you’re struggling to find your way to love, then Get Coached is the perfect program for you.
No more feeling frustrated, anxious, worried or unsatisfied when making the decision to stay or go.
Get Coached will help you manage emotions and discover how to make changes with grace.