Ep #332: Men and Life Coaching
Men are one of the fastest-growing segments in The Life Coach School. Despite all our marketing being targeted towards women, we’ve noticed more and more men signing up for Self Coaching Scholars as well as our Coach Certification Program.
I know that there’s a stigma around life coaching, especially for men. They often feel more reluctant to reach out to a life coach than women. Some think asking for help means they’re weak, but my guests today can attest that that is anything but the truth.
In this episode, I share a conversation I had with five male life coaches about their experience with The Life Coach School and getting certified. Join us as we talk about the stigma around life coaching, what it was like to join the women-dominated programs we offer, and why they think any men who are slightly interested should stop asking questions and just join.
If you’re a man tuning to this episode, I invite you to listen to what my podcast guests have to say and be open. We’re excited to have you here as we experience this exciting change in the life coaching industry.
Check out the video of our conversation below!
Listen to the show
What You will discover
- Answers to your most common questions about what it’s like to be a male life coach.
- How to become a life coach
- Why each of these men decided to join The Life Coach School.
- Why there’s a more strong reluctance from men than women.
- How feeling our feelings is the strongest work we can do.
- That life coaching is truly just brain management.
- What each of these guys gained by going through the Coach Certification Program process.
- Why it’s time to stop asking questions and join.
Featured on the show
Get the Full Episode Transcript:download the transcript
You are listening to The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo, episode number 332.
Welcome to The Life Coach School Podcast, where it’s all about real clients, real problems and real coaching. And now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.
Brooke: Hello, everyone. Welcome to the podcast. Today, we are talking to men. What is happening? How did men get on the podcast? I’m going to tell you. There are two fastest-growing populations signing up for The Life Coach School. One is kids that don’t want to go to college and just want to become life coaches. And the other is men. So, I’m excited to talk to five men who are life coaches through The Life Coach School and find out how they got in.
All my marketing is to women. Why did they join The Life Coach School? What do they think about being a life coach and any secrets that they have that they want to share with any men that are considering signing up but are afraid because there’s so many women? So, let’s get started.
The way that I want to do this is I’m going to go ahead and just start calling on each of them, have them introduce themselves, tell us a little bit about themselves, and then we’ll just open up a discussion towards the end once everyone is introduced. So, let’s go ahead and start with you Tyson. Tell us a little bit about you.
Tyson: So, my name is Tyson Bradley. I actually used to work for The Life Coach School and, you know what’s interesting is I actually found your podcast probably about five years ago. I was getting a Master’s degree in human resources. I’ve always loved helping people and helping them be more productive, better at life. And when I found your Model and everything that you taught, it made everything else that I learned in school, it made sense.
It just made everything more applicable. It explained the other models I was using about human behavior better. And what was so fascinating was that I came down to Dallas to work with AT&T, it was quartered there, and then you came to Dallas. And I remember going to the Modelthons that you used to have and walking into a room filled with women. And I knew that you appealed to women, and yet, there was something in me that went, “You know what, I’m jumping into something that other men don’t understand is the secret…”
Brooke: To the universe…
Tyson: To the universe. And so, me being there amidst all the women was, like, this is totally fine. I feel like I’m at an advantage here because I’m getting in on the secret that other men don’t really know and haven’t truly embraced. And so, the more I dove in, the more I got to know you and the team, the more I just fell in love, obviously, so much so that I wanted to work there and now just helping other life coaches in managing their time and following through on their calendar. So, that’s what I do now in terms of my business and loving every minute of it.
Brooke: Yeah, so Tyson came to work for me and we loved him. And then he decided he wanted to go start his own business. And we, of course, always support that at The Life Coach School, but not without a lot of ribbing and complaining. So, anyway, we miss Tyson at The Life Coach School, but now he’s coaching all of his clients on managing their time, so that’s awesome. And at the end, everyone can give their URLs, so if people want to come and find you and work with you. We’ve had you on the podcast. This is your second time, right?
Tyson: This is the second time, so I feel special.
Brooke: Exciting. Okay, so that’s Tyson. Let’s go to you, Dex. Let’s go to you next.
Dex: Thanks, Brooke. Well, as you know, I’m working for The Life Coach School, but I came here because of Frank Kern actually.
Dex: Well, I was following Frank Kern and one day on Facebook, your ads came up and I started following the podcast. And this work, the work that you do makes sense to me in a way that nothing else ever had. It was like something practical I could actually do, that would actually make a difference. And it made a huge difference for me in my life at the time.
And I was already on the lookout for a coaching school. Because I had a career in IT that I kind of crashed out of in burnout, had a heart attack and all that, I’d switched to energy healing, which I love so, so much. But I needed to bump up my coaching in that so that people could run with the ball a bit more. When I was healing them, they could actually promote their own healing. So, I was looking for a coach already. So, when I came in, it was like a no-brainer. And I wanted to join in.
Brooke: And then, did you come straight to certification, or did you listen to the podcast for a while first, or how did that all develop?
Dex: Well, I listened to the podcast, but only for a couple of months. And then I signed up for Scholars. And that was just after I’d had my heart attack and I was lying around on a sofa feeling sorry for myself, and I pretty quickly signed up for certification. But then, I recovered from my heart attack and I got hit by a car.
Brooke: Oh my gosh. What is happening? Stop.
Dex: The interview I had for coaching, I was in hospital for three months, but the interview I had for the coaching certification was in my first week of hospital when I couldn’t actually move. I was lying there in my bed and I couldn’t sit up.
Brooke: That’s so awesome. So, any of you who are thinking about signing up for certification but you think it’s a little bit inconvenient, you just need to think about Dex. He was in the hospital, still signed up, still went through certification, got certified, and then what happened after certification?
Dex: Well then, I was very, very incented to work with people in burnout, having had my own experience with the heart attack and everything. I learned a lot from you about how to recover myself and how to fix burnout, basically. And it was so easy. I’d been in burnout for years. Stressed, miserable, overworked, frustrated, resentful, all of that, not performing. And I couldn’t get myself out of the hole. And I think a lot of guys try and dig themselves out of that hole and they find out they can’t.
And now, I run a burnout program for other professional people in the same hole and I can help them come through burnout back to resilience, performance, enjoyment really, really quickly, which I find stunning. So, that’s my niche now. I work for The Life Coach School as well. I’m coaching and mentoring and stuff. But in my private business, I’m working with people in burnout.
Brooke: Yeah, so we have you doing some executive work at The Life Coach School and managing some people to create a program. You’re also coaching in there. And then you also have your own business. And are you loving it?
Dex: I love everything about it. I love all of it. I love coaching. My whole thing really is I want to be an example of what’s possible as a heart-centered leader. But really, I want to be an example of what’s possible in LCS as a man, as a male coach. I think that’s really important. When I came in, there was hardly any.
Brooke: Right, so good. Speaking of hardly any, Dave Moreno, when you first came to the school, were you, like, the only dude? You were one of a few, right?
Dave: Yeah, there were two of us in certification back in 2016, me and a guy named Mike. But I remember coming to the first mastermind as a dude and there were so few of us that we just knew each other. And we put a message out on Slack and we’re like, “Hey, any guys coming want to grab dinner?” And there were three of us who met for dinner. And those were the only guys. So, there was a bald guy from Canada, me. The bald guy from Australia, that was Dex. And then the other guy with the funny accent. And it was like we knew each other. And then, I remember coming to a recent mastermind and being like, “Oh, there are males here I don’t know. This is strange. There’s too many of us.”
Brooke: That’s so funny because the school used to be so much smaller. And now, we have hundreds and hundreds of people who go through certification. So, when I went to the last mastermind and looked out, I could not believe how many guys there were. And I do find it, and maybe you could speak to this, Dave, because I do find it extraordinary when – my marketing is very, it’s not even just like I’m marketing towards women on the underground, it’s like blatantly marketing towards women. And, of course, I love men and I want them to be involved, but my main focus is marketing to women. So, what are your thoughts on that?
Dave: It’s funny. It is blatantly obvious that you market to women. And I use you as an example with so many clients. Because so many clients are so scared of niching, they’re like, “Yeah, but that’s the only people I’ll work with.” And I’m like, “Think of Brooke. She markets to women. I went through certification and I know tons of other guys who go through certification.”
I think the thing is, it is such a female-focused industry, for sure. It is becoming less so, which is really exciting. But I think any male walking around who does have a touch with the emotional side, with the caring, the nurturing side who does want to get into coaching, your marketing still transfers over and still speaks to them. And that’s exactly what happened to me.
I remember sitting at home. It was the end of March 2016 and my wife, I owned a gym at the time called Mind Over Body Fitness and I was helping people get fit, because I had lost 120 pounds and I really wanted to help people. But I realized it was more mental than it was physical. You didn’t need me to count your pushups. You needed me to coach you through why you should workout today.
So, I was doing that. And I really wanted to get more experience with the coaching side and my wife kept saying, “There’s this podcast. You’ve got to listen to it.” I’m like, “I don’t have time for a podcast.” I was indulging in busy. I didn’t have time for it.
One day, we were in the kitchen. I was cooking dinner and she just put it on, on the speaker system in the house. So, I had no choice but to listen to your voice. So, she knew what she was doing. And about 10 minutes in I go, “This is really good? Who is this?” And she’s like, “This is the one I’ve been telling you about. Do you know she has a school?”
And it was less than six hours, I was on the phone with Jody within six hours of that podcast and she said the most important thing to me ever. Because I was like, “I don’t know if this is for me.” And she just said, “I don’t think you’re ready.” And that completely changed everything and I was like, “Whoa, hold on a second, Jody Moore. I don’t know who you think you are, but I am ready and I’m going to pay you right now.” And she’s like, “Oh, we don’t even have a spot. It starts in two weeks.” And I’m like, “Well you find the spot because I’m sending you money.” And she’s like, “Alright, we’ll figure it out.” And two weeks later, I was in California getting certified.
Brooke: Yeah, and what was your experience like with – because you said there was only one other guy with you going through. What was that like, to be with all women, learning all this?
Dave: Well it was, I don’t know, a dream come true for me. My best friends have always been women. I was raised by my mom and my sisters. My dad traveled for work while growing up. So, I mean, watching Oprah and seeing romcoms was just my upbringing. I was very in touch with that side.
And so, getting in a room with all women actually felt I could put my guard down. I didn’t have to be alpha. I didn’t have to be masculine about anything. I could just open up. And really, that six days completely transformed everything for me.
Brooke: Yeah, that’s awesome. And now, what do you do?
Dave: So, after years of niche drama, of course, like everybody does, I found my niche, which is great. And so, I help service-based entrepreneurs, so like coaches out there, get to the six-figure mark, grow their business by six figures. They’re stuck, they’re indulging in all the things they shouldn’t be, like I did, and growing by six figures. And I found that finally two years ago, and my business has gone absolutely crazy.
It’s just amazing, when you get in alignment. And I say this, and so many people know me now from the talk saying this, but I rejected everything you told me to do for so long, and then I started doing it and it worked. So, if you’re ever indulging in that, just get out of it.
Brooke: Just stop it immediately. Are you comfortable sharing what you’ll do this year?
Dave: Yeah, so I like to tell people the three-year story because they’re like, “What an overnight success…” There’s nothing overnight about it. Year one was $12,000. Last year was $180,000, and this year we’ll climb just over 800K.
Brooke: Nice. Well done.
Dave: We’re pushing to the million because, as everybody knows, I want to be, what many of my colleagues on here, one of the first guys into the two-comma club. So, we’re pushing to the million. And with the new group we’re offering it may happen, but we’ll see.
Brooke: Awesome, alright. Let’s go to you, Mason.
Mason: Yes, so I’m Mason Healy. I got introduced to the podcast through my sister, actually, so through a woman, of course. And I had been studying self-improvement, self-help, law of attraction, meditation, like all of the stuff for like 10 years. And I got to this point where, like, I’m thinking positive thoughts, I’m trying to attract all of this stuff and nothing’s working.
And I heard your podcast on beliefs and I was like, “Oh, there’s something to this.” And kind of like Tyson and Dave, everything just came together for me in a way that made logical sense. And so, it’s like, there’s something to this. My feelings are driving my actions. That makes a lot of sense. And so, coming to these conclusions, I was like, “Okay, this is a no-brainer. There’s something to this.”
And so, I decided to get certified and I had a panic attack. What just happened? What am I doing? And so, I definitely cried for a little bit. But now, on the other side of that, I’m so glad that I went through it, went through the whole process. I feel like I changed so much about the way I view the world, the way I view myself, the way I carry myself, like so many things.
So, that was amazing. And then it’s so funny because I always knew I’d be on the podcast, but I thought I’d be in this mansion with millions of dollars and this big business under me. So, I’m like one year in and I already work for The Life Coach School, I’m on the podcast, so it’s just been an amazing experience all around.
Brooke: That’s so great. So, did you join Scholars first?
Mason: Yes, I joined Scholars for three months before I decided to get certified.
Brooke: Okay, so I want you to speak to this because I have a lot of people who say, “I don’t need to go through certification because I’ve been in Scholars, or I’m a diamond in Scholars and I don’t really need certification.” Can you speak a little bit to the difference between the two of them?
Mason: Yes, for sure. So, with Scholars, it’s all about your work on yourself and being able to make your own changes. You also don’t learn important things like holding space and topics like staying out of the pool, just like the deeper-level topics that you learn in certification. And it’s so funny because I actually tried coaching people and I tried doing a YouTube series where I coached people with the Model but without being certified. And now, looking back at that, there was no way I could have reached the level that I’m at now without getting certified.
So, I think going deeper, having feedback, having a cohort with different classmates who can, like, give you feedback and inspire you and just having that experience in general I think is a game-changer.
Brooke: Yeah, and the other thing I want to say about that too is, in Scholars, you can get some one to one coaching and you can also be on some big group calls. But in certification, there’s only 10 of you. So, it’s like, there’s no escape. There’s no hiding.
Mason: Yeah, it was so nice to have that constant coaching on myself and me being able to practice and having that group to go to consistently knowing they would be there, it’s just so nice to have that.
Brooke: So, talk a little bit. Did you know you wanted to work for the school when you went through certification? How did that come about?
Mason: Yeah, so I applied. Because I thought I was this amazing coach before I got certified, so I applied, obviously. Didn’t get an interview or anything like that. And it was like, obviously, it would be an amazing dream, but I kind of put it on the backburner. I was like, let’s just focus on business. So, I went all in on my business, had an amazing conversation with you and realized, I’m looking for financial stability right now and what’s the fastest way I can do that? And so, I was like, why not apply again? Let’s just try it again. And so, I applied and it worked out.
Brooke: That’s so awesome. So, you’re coaching at the school right now. Are you teaching as well or are you just coaching part-time or fulltime?
Mason: Coaching fulltime. I started three months ago. SO, instructing would be amazing…
Brooke: That’s the next step.
Mason: Yeah, I feel happy where I am for a second.
Brooke: We were actually just talking about this on – I have a mastermind group. You guys know this, but for the podcast listeners, I have a mastermind group with all my millionaire coaches who make over a million dollars, and we were talking about how coaching in Scholars, like being able to coach all day every day is, like, the gamechanger. It’s the way that you become so good at coaching that it doesn’t matter what anyone brings you, you know how to handle it because it’s constantly different topics every single session all day long.
So, I'm stoked for you to do that because as soon as you do that a lot, then you’re really able to go into instructing because you’re basically doing that in front of people when you start instructing.
Mason: Totally. It’s like I find myself saying the same thing over for different topics. It’s like the same stuff but just in different ways for each person. And so yeah, I could see that lining up with instructing super-well obviously.
Brooke: Yeah, that’s awesome. So, let’s go you to, Roman.
Roman: So, my path here, I had no idea this was just a women’s only club, you know. I got into my class and I was the worst male coach in my class when I started certification. Now I’m the best male coach in my class. It’s pretty awesome. So, no idea it was just women only.
So, anyways, my background, I was in the FBI for 12 years. I was a special agent. And so, you know…
Brooke: Is that as cool as it sounds?
Roman: Lots of explosions, lots of shooting people, all that stuff? No, not really. So, mostly I sat at a desk and typed. But a little bit about that, at one point, I got to guard the Attorney General for a month, you know, Eric Holder. That was pretty cool. I worked all the corruption matters. I put handcuffs on a state senator, a bunch of police officers. I arrested a city manager, a mayor, city council members. I went after Mexican drug cartels.
We would seize drugs and money and people a lot. I rescued slaves, human trafficking victims in these quiet little neighborhoods in Long Beach and San Luis Obispo. We’d go in and people were indentured, enslaved and stuff. I was at the San Bernardino shooting. I was there when it was happening and then the follow-on investigation, I was part of the small team of people who investigated that, or was looking into that cellphone…
Brooke: Wow, how fascinating. Did you enjoy it?
Roman: I enjoyed it. I was also an EMT, so I was kind of like a rescuer. You know, if anything went wrong during an operation, I was the guy they turned to. I was on the behavioral analysis unit as well. So, with that, and other things in my background, I liked helping people. I liked rescuing people.
But some of the things in my relationship, my personal relationship, kind of, you know, the tragedies I saw with the FBI kind of paled in comparison to the terror I was experiencing in my own life. So, as I was in the FBI, there was a program, I wanted to get a PhD in psychology. I had been going to therapy and trying to do self-help and stuff like that. And I wanted to become a psychologist or a therapist and retire from the FBI 12 years from now or whatever and then start helping people.
And then, my next-door neighbor turned me onto your podcast and I’ve been listening for two or three years now. And it was amazing. So, okay, the FBI is going to pay for my education and I’m going to become a therapist and then when I retire, I’m going to go to The Life Coach School. But everything kind of fast-forwarded. I got out of the FBI. I became a private investigator.
And as a private investigator, I started running into men all over the place, like every client, with the same things that I was going through, the terror. You know, mostly I’m finding successful, educated, fit, healthy men in these situations where they just feel victimized, they feel like they’re imprisoned and things that.
So, I decided to sign up for The Life Coach School. I didn’t do Scholars, I just went right to the school, mostly to rescue myself. And it’s been amazing. And so, I certified in March and I’m finishing the other six months this month. And then I’ll go from there.
Brooke: Which track did you do? Did you do applied coaching or the entrepreneurial…
Roman: I’m in applied coaching right now.
Brooke: Good for you. And your intention is to start a business or?
Roman: Yeah, I have a fulltime job right now that’s really amazing and I really love it. Their goal is to provide free energy to everyone. And so, it’s pretty amazing. But yeah, I want to do that. I’m trying to coach within my company and I want to coach outside of the company too.
But one thing about The Life Coach school, you know, I’ve been to five different colleges. I have a Master’s degree in business. I’ve been to the FBI Academy. I’ve been to fire academies and the EMT school. This, by far, is the best education and organization I’ve been a part of as far as learning and growth and stuff. It’s amazing.
Brooke: What? I did not tell him to say that, y’all, I swear to you I did not. That’s amazing. Thank you for saying that. That’s cool.
Roman: Yeah, just so much support, you know. You could put the word out and dozens of people respond and everyone’s happy, you know. You just feel the love. You feel the unconditional love that you teach us about – you feel it all over the place and people are always willing to help. And I want to reach out to the men who are peppered across the country suffering right now, because I keep running into them in my office as a private investigator everywhere, it’s amazing.
Brooke: Yeah, so I’d like to open this up to all of you. I think that there is – maybe it’s a stigma or reluctance for men to reach out. And let’s just talk about it in terms of clients, right? So, if I’m struggling as a man, I’m going to be much less inclined to reach out to a life coach to get some help than a woman might be. Do you guys have any theory on, just put your hand up if you want to speak to it, and I’ll just call on you. I’ll start with you, Dave, and then we’ll go to you, Dex. What are your thoughts on that, Dave?
Dave: So, it’s really interesting because I started focusing on males in the beginning and wasn’t getting as much traction as I thought I could. And I kept getting women coming in because they were so much more interested in the coaching aspect. And so, what I had to do, I had to change the approach to, you know, men wanted to hear, okay we’re going to work on strategy, we’re going to work on finance, we’re going to work on marketing to build your business. And they didn’t want to hear all the mindset work that has to be done.
They thought, okay, so you know marketing if you know all this. So, it was a matter of, okay, here’s what we’re going to do. And as we start coaching, here’s what we actually do. And this is how we get to the strategy. And it opened their eyes up so much more that they were so happy, you know, within three, four months of the coaching that this was really making sense. This was different.
They just – this is my own thought. Men don’t know what they need. They think they know what they need. And this is where – and I’m so glad you’re doing this podcast because a portion of my schedule that I wish was smaller is focused on men who contact me and want to just talk to me for 10 minutes before they sign up for The Life Coach School. And they’re like, “You’re in it, can I just talk to you?” So, I would love to now just be like, “There’s a podcast… It’s number 300 and whatever, go listen to it. It’s choking up my schedule.”
Because I remember, you put something in Slack a long time ago and I’ve used it every time, “Stop asking questions. Just sign up.” Like, just don’t do it. and so, I don’t get on the phone with them anymore. But it’s so hard for, I think, the male brain, you know, from my experience, to really understand that there is that much within the mind that you can change and that for yourself and for other people, that they’re just blocked to it.
But I think it’s becoming a lot more available to them. I’m seeing it become a lot easier. I’m seeing a lot more men show up, a lot more men be willing to show emotion, be willing to open up, be willing to just break down and be like, “I’m done, I need help.” And I think that’s because there are more men in the coaching industry. Like, everyone here talking about this, it’s not just women out there talking about it. So, the more men that come in I think, the more men that would be interested in getting coaching.
Brooke: Yeah, and here’s the other thing that I think is interesting. I’d be curious what you think about this. I think, as I started making more and more money, I got a lot more men who are interested. And I would go to my mastermind groups and we’d go around the room and talk about what we do and I’d say I’m a life coach and everyone would kind of nod off. And then we’d go around and talk about how much money we’re making and everyone was like, “Wait a minute. What do you mean?”
And whenever I had my value add, I’d always talk about feelings and everyone else would talk about Facebook ads and, you know, copy and conversion. And I’m like, listen, the most important thing when it comes to building your business and making money and being successful, which seems to be what a lot of the men that I talk to are interested in has to do with your feelings. And life coaching can help you do that.
So, they’re like, “Alright, as long as there’s a payday at the end, I’m willing to do it.” But I kind of like what Roman was talking about too, like just in your relationships, being able to use this material to strengthen your relationships. And I think, I mean, what do you think the nervousness is about, that it just won’t apply to them maybe?
Dave: Yeah, I think, my own feedback on it, is just that they have that block that it’s just not for them, that’s not their problem. They have that dialed in. But it’s so funny, as we start working on the business and growing the business, what so much of their mindset, all of a sudden, the conversation turns to marriage, turns to family, turns to kids, turns to how they are as a father, how they react.
And all of a sudden, we take this detour from business and we start building their life and they see the value in it. I just think they don’t get it up front, and that’s why I encourage men to get in this industry. It is such an amazing industry to be in and it is unlimited amounts of money you can make in this. Because if you focus on providing value and serving your clients, you can make as much money as you want. I don’t know many industries that are like that.
But we really need more men speaking about this because when women come in, they want to work on their mindset, and I have to tell them that, at some point, we have to get to strategy. We have to build your business. When men come in, it’s like, “No, let’s just work on the marketing.”
Brooke: Yeah, and listen, y’all, I know we’re completely generalizing, but it’s also my experience, like straight up, legit, circumstantial experience. Okay, what do you want to add, Dex?
Dex: Well, I think it’s just that culturally men don’t really expect to need coaching for being pissed off, stressed, anxious, all of those things. They’d rather not admit to all of that. They’ve got broad shoulders. They think, “I can fix all that stuff myself. What I really need is my business, my performance in my business, my finances. But I agree with Dave. Underneath that all, I never tell them this, but once we get into it, it really is about self-support. It’s about emotions. But they come in with performance. I’m really a performance coach.
But they will not look at their flaws, what they want to look at is how to improve what they’re good at. And they’re a bit confused that they’re not good at it right now. It’s like, “I’m a brilliant person, why aren’t I nailing this? I’ve got broad shoulders, I can fix anything, I’m a problem-solver. Something’s gone a big wrong with the formula.
Brooke: Interesting. That’s really interesting. Okay, Tyson and Mason, what do you guys think about telling people that you’re a life coach, how does that feel, as a dude?
Tyson: Well, my brain is itching to, like, answer the last question. Let me add one point to that because I feel like I can share an example. It’s like, I have a conversation with my wife and she might be worried about something. And there is a part of the male rain that has like a fix-it mentality. So, it’s natural for me want to fix whatever my wife’s concerns are, when really, what I need to do is just listen and just allow her to feel and allow for there to be feelings.
And what I also understand, like, Brené Brown talks about, you know, shame within men, it’s always coming from a place of we don’t want to be perceived as weak. To ask someone for help, to ask a coach for help is to be perceived as weak. And so, to get in touch with feelings, which have always been categorized as touchy-feely weakness. Like, that’s a hard thing for many men to just allow.
But I just love all the influencers out there that are just talking more and more about mindset and how it’s the gamechanger because I think that’s what’s shifting so many minds here, and that there is a logical way, and we might just categorize it as strategy and logic. We sell them on the strategy and then really teach them, “Here’s the truth.” It’s that life coaching is about brain coaching. It’s brain management.
And sometimes, when I tell people I’m a life coach, it’s like, “Hey look, I help you understand why you do what you do and help you manage your brain so that you can reprogram it and create the life that you want.” And for some reason, it’s like, that idea seems more appealing because it’s just more factual. It’s more manly in that sense.
Brooke: It’s just so interesting, right, because I feel like – and I think this is men and women perceive feelings and being emotional as a sign of weakness, when really, what I have learned through my own work and by working with you all is that feeling our feelings is the strongest thing we can do. And our willingness to do that eliminates our fear because so many of the men that I talk to, their biggest fear is failure, letting their family down and being perceived as a weak failure.
And so, of course, we all know that’s just a perception in our own mind. Failure is just something that we make up. So, if we’re willing to feel anu emotion, that’s the strongest stance that we can take. So, it’s the exact opposite. So interesting. What about you, Mason? What are your thoughts on that? Do you like telling people you’re a life coach?
Mason: Yeah, at first I was kind of hesitant because I’ve always viewed life coaching as the weird, like, woo-woo, just cheer me on, like accountability partner type vibe. I was like, that just doesn’t sound interesting. It doesn’t sound like anything I’d even want to tell people about. But now, going through it I’m almost excited because I want them to view me as the underdog.
I’m like, wait, you’ll see, not only do I have coaching, but I also have all of these tools that can help me get anything I want. So, it’s almost kind of fun to, like, hide behind the title of life coach when they don’t really know what it means. I’m like, you can sit back and take notes and watch how this will unfold. So, I kind of like it, honestly.
Brooke: That’s cool. What about you, Roman, is there anything you want to add?
Roman: Yeah, I think you read these amazing stories or watch these things on Netflix or whatever of these people who make dramatic change in their life, like they’re 55 years old and they run a marathon. But what happens is you don’t see the part where they’re sitting in front of a doctor and he’s like, “You’re going to die if you don’t change your lifestyle.”
And I think what I see in life coaching, and of course, the precursor to this was my experience with the men, as a private investigator, they’re men stripped down of all hope and they’re in a tragic situation, so they’re at rock bottom. And so, they have to do something. So I feel like it’s more like a rescuing mentality, you know, like people have tried and tried and tried and they’re – you know, I have a guy who’s a real estate developer and he lives on Kauai and I have another guy who flew in from another country and he’s a millionaire and stuff like that.
Successful people, it’s just like their Achilles heel, their one weakness. But it’s all-consuming and you can’t do anything else if you don’t manage your feelings and your thoughts and your personal mental health. And on both ends, the criminal aspect or the homelessness, it’s just everyone needs mental health and we have it to offer. And some people are willing to pay for it, so I love that.
Brooke: Yeah, I mean, I think you’re right. I think a lot of the times, it takes the rock bottom – like, the most emails I get from men are men who can’t stop drinking. That’s their main thing. And they love the idea that they can use my Stop Overdrinking program, but they’re afraid and they want to make sure, if they go into Scholars to get that Stop Overdrinking program that no one will be able to see them, right, “No one will know I was ever in there and no one will know I’m ever learning from a life coach. And they just want my reassurance from that.
And I think that’s so interesting because the shame around reaching out and getting help to make yourself stronger when you have nowhere else to go, that being the only avenue, I want people, especially men, to be able to come through our programs in a preventative way and not have to hit the bottom. Or it’s kind of like this, Roman, it’s like you either hit the bottom or you hit the top and realize that there’s no “There” there. I think that’s a lot of men too.
They make all the money and they get all the success and they get all the things and then they’re like, “Wait, why don’t I feel better? Why don’t I feel like I’ve arrived? Why is there still so much shame and hesitance inside of me?” And so, I think being able to have that conversation with other men too, with other men and with other women in a way where you can maintain your strength and dignity and your perception of yourself, I think is what we do at The Life Coach School very well.
So, what would you guys say to someone, let’s imagine them, there’s a dude that his sister or wife told him to listen to the podcast and he’s like, “Oh finally, there’s one for men,” and he turns this one on and he’s thinking in the back of his mind, like, really? Maybe I could do this program? Maybe this would be the thing that could help me?”
And even if you don’t want to become a life coach, going through the life coach certification is such a transformational experience as a human. What would you say to that person? Let’s start with you, Dex.
Dex: I just can’t even imagine holding back from that now. It’s kind of a whole dimension of life where you get to support yourself in the way you wished you always could. And all of these frustrations and resentments and stuckness in life, you don’t have to sit in that place. But I think, on other ways, we didn’t find our way out.
But one of my best clients at the moment is a professor of neuroscience and there’s all these people, particularly men, who are very, very experienced, skilled, intelligent and all of that and are still like… But this is the release from that, the self-knowledge you get from the training.
Brooke: Yeah, and remember, self-knowledge is what gives you strength. Self-awareness is what gives you strength. I think a lot of ways that, you know, in our education that we’re trained is, like, you need to go learn the things out there in the world in order to be strong. But really, the strength comes from understanding yourself and being aware of that. What about you, Tyson?
Tyson: Yeah, so when you were talking about either hitting rock bottom or getting to the top and not thinking that you need some help to get further, for me, it’s just like, I just wanted to improve. And the Model and what you teach, it made so much sense to me. It’s clear. It’s actionable. So, to me, it’s almost just like it’s even just a logical thing. It’s like, hey, there’s a formula, it works. Would you like to try it? And you don’t need to hit rock bottom. You can live a much more amazing life if you just give yourself the chance to explore someone else’s teachings besides just strategy, besides what you may think is manly.
And so, just being able to be willing and open to, “Hey, there’s this process that if you follow it, you can literally change how you feel every single day and you can direct your life in a much more meaningful and fulfilling and a way that works. And so, that for me was like, I want to do this, I know it will help other people, and so whether it aligns with your purpose and what you want to do in terms of helping others, this has been the best experience, the best investment by far.
Brooke: Yeah, that’s actually a great point, I think a lot of times, people hear life coaching and think we’re all having a cuddle and Kumbaya. And it’s kind of the opposite of that, my friends. Warning, you will be confronted with yourself. But it is, the Model is like math. It’s very logical if you learn it. it’s not just a bunch of, like, feeling your way with your intuition.
Once you learn it, you’ll be like, “Okay, this makes sense. This isn’t just something that’s talking about something that I can’t grab ahold of.” So yeah, that’s a great point. Alright, let’s go to you, Mason.
Mason: Yeah, so I think, to touch on what you just said, the work that you do on the brain and like how much knowledge we learn about the brain, just in general, makes it so logical and easy for me to understand, so I love that. But I think that going through certification really gave me the genuine belief that whatever life throws at me, I can handle it.
So, even that knowing, just finding confidence in that and strength in that, it’s coming out on the other side knowing that whatever happens, I can handle it. I can navigate around it. And it’s a genuine belief. I’m not just saying that. That excites me. So, I think there’s a lot of strength and power in being able to find that out for yourself.
Brooke: Yeah, that’s really well said. Okay, what about you, Dave?
Dave: Yeah, so it’s funny, I think first of all, when you said about introducing as a life coach, I just wanted to add one quick thing to that. My wife’s also a certified coach. She got certified a year after me. And it’s really funny because we’ll do these experiments where we’ll go into, like, a retailer or a car dealership or a bank or something and they’ll ask my wife, what do you do? And she says life coach. And there’s this little, kind of like, cute chuckle.
And then they’ll ask me, what do I do, and I’m like, life coach. And it’s really interesting to see them react differently. I almost think it’s easier for a guy to introduce themselves as a life coach because I think people automatically are like, “Whoa, a guy is doing this. This isn’t just a multilevel marketing stay at home mom kind of, like, coach your friends with wine and cuddle.”
And to your point about cuddling, I actually thought that’s maybe what this was. And I showed up on day one, and I’ll tell you, Brooke has never cuddled anybody. I was like…
Brooke: I am not a cuddler.
Dave: I was in such need of cuddling and you tore me down in 10 minutes. I was like, damnit. But I think the biggest problem is that men face ego. And the male ego is so much more of a deterrent for them to do things. So I’d rather feed the ego and I would tell anyone listening to this, if you want to be on the cutting edge of one of the biggest and most important evolutions of the male species that’s ever existed, you join The Life Coach School, you’ll learn about this, and you get in now before you’re left behind understanding, what’s the mindset stuff that everyone’s doing?
Because I think that is what most guys are most afraid of getting into, is that this is a feminine thing, the mindset stuff, other guys won’t understand this. I’m telling you, it’s happening. It’s going to happen. With all the events in the world, people need to be more in-tune to how their mind works and not live by default, control what’s going on.
And that’s where, as you said, I think it’s the strongest thing any guy can do. And if a woman in your life, your sister, your wife, anybody has told you to listen to a podcast or told you to do something, the best advice I give to any man is whatever woman is important in your life, listen to her because she’s there to make sure you do what you’re supposed to do. And so, you should always be listening to female influences in your life.
Brooke: I love it, so good. Alright, what about you, Roman?
Roman: So, first of all, I would cuddle with any of you dudes any day. But I think a lot of this stuff…
Brooke: Hey, listen, we do do a little bit of cuddling after we tear you down, okay.
Roman: So, I think the word stigma comes to mind, that keeps us from doing any of this stuff. But what I would say to someone is something I’ve already said, this is the best education. I’ve been to all kinds of weird schools and trainings and stuff like that. This is by far the best training I have ever had and I love it.
And so, what I would say is we need you, men. And you need us. And if they’re wavering on this, they should pick a goal, whether it’s, “I want to climb Mount Everest, I want to increase my income, I want to replenish my relationship with my children,” or whatever, pick a goal and figure out, what have you been doing to achieve that and how are you with achieving that and where will you be in a year if you don’t?
This is the place to figure out how to achieve those things, how to control your brain instead of just – I was a passenger in my life and I felt like, “This is never going to end. When is this going to end?” Just praying and praying for some sort of miracle. And the miracle is me. The miracle is right in between my ears and it’s amazing to have learned this stuff and I can’t wait to share it with everyone who will listen.
Brooke: Yeah, that’s so great. I think for so many people on the outside that don’t understand the Model and don’t really understand what we do at The Life Coach School, it’s confusing for them for us to be, like, so excited about other people to do what we’re doing. We really want to bring other people in.
And it’s part of what we learn in terms of an abundance mentality and understanding that it’s not a zero-sum game. It’s not like if we bring other people in and they’re successful then it somehow takes away from our success. It’s the exact opposite, the more we can build everybody up.
And for me, it’s this industry, this life coaching industry, since I started it however many – what’s it been – 15 years ago, where people didn’t even know what the heck I was talking about. Until now, going to random public places and so many people recognizing me and recognizing, like, this industry and paying attention to the podcast.
I feel like, I was just telling my marketing team, I feel like I’ve never felt as driven as I do to make sure that men know that we’re here and know that this is available to them and that there shouldn’t be a stigma about it. If you feel like, “I’m too strong for that,” just give us a try. We’ll prove you wrong right away. We’ll help you out with that.
Okay, so here’s how I want to end. I would love for you all to share, if you have something that you want to offer our listeners, you have a website they can go to, maybe some people that are listening want to work with you directly is there a way for them to do that? How do they get in touch? Let’s start with you, Tyson.
Tyson: So, anybody that’s wanting to work on their time management, I do like to work with coaches, but I have other clients like that. They can get in touch with me at tysonbradley.me.
Brooke: And do you do one on one or are you doing groups now?
Tyson: Still doing one on one, yeah.
Brooke: Okay, so if you need help with your schedule, getting stuff done, you’re procrastinating, check out Tyson. He is the master at helping you figure out your schedule and get your work done. Alright, what about you, Dex?
Dex: So, I work with guys in burnout, stress, overwork, frustration and all that at work. And you can reach me on mini.dexrandall.com.
Brooke: Okay, cool. Now, if I go to your site and sign up, what happens?
Dex: I do a consult with people so they can tell me what’s happening for them and I can show them how we can work with that. And then, I’ve got a one on one program.
Brooke: Okay, so is that consult weird? I mean, do I need to prepare for it? Is it going to be awkward? What is that like?
Dex: No, it’s super-easy. We just talk about what’s pissing you off and we’ll talk about how to fix it. I’ll do all the heavy lifting.
Brooke: Yes, I think that’s important to say. You just need to come to the call and Dex is going to tell you exactly, like, he’s going to ask you all the questions. You don’t have to bring anything. And it’s a perfect opportunity to vent for free, right? I mean, if nothing else.
Dex: Absolutely. Come and tell me all your problems.
Brooke: Go and just let it all out. Alright, what about you, Mason?
Mason: Yes, so you can find me in Scholars. So, you can Scholars and I’ll be one of your coaches probably. An di also do my own business outside of Scholars where I coach young people with social anxiety. And so, to find out more about that, they can find me at masonhealy.com.
Brooke: There are a lot of people listening – and you work with men and women?
Brooke: Okay, social anxiety – Mason and I have actually talked about this a lot. If you’ve had someone try to help you with social anxiety, maybe you’ve gone to a therapist, maybe you’ve read about it and it didn’t work, try Mason out. We have a process and a way of approaching social anxiety because both he and I have it. And how we deal with it is a very different approach than what you might expect, so go ahead and check him out. Alright, what about you, Dave?
Dave: So, people who want to learn more about me can go to my website, which is davemoreno.ca, real simple. But I’m actually on a waitlist for my one on one. I’m about a three-month waitlist right now. So, I’ve actually opened up groups. We’ve done successful six-figure foundation groups. So, it’s actually teaching everyone the six steps to a foundation to build a six-figure business that’s simple, sustainable, and not going to drive you crazy.
So, we have a six-week foundations mastermind course and they can learn about that at sixfiguregrowth.com. And the next one is actually in September. It’s limited enrollment, but that’s where I’m feeding people into now because I just can’t keep up with the one on one demand at this point.
Brooke: I actually think group coaching for your first 100K is actually really powerful too, to have that community and other people. We were just talking about this in our mastermind call the other day and, you know, everyone in there is making a million dollars now, and it’s so funny, I’m always like, “Well the hard part’s over,” because we all agree, your first 100K is by far the hardest money you will ever make.
After you make 100K, you’re just going to build and scale from there. So, you want to make sure that foundation is super-solid. So, I think you do a really nice job with that, Dave. And I think one of the things that make you so good at what you do is you just struggled so hard to do it yourself. So, when people come to you and they’re a hot mess, you get it. You understand it.
Dave: Yeah, I would never coach someone or have them do something that I haven’t done. And I think that’s where my power has always been. I started in weight loss because I had lost the weight and I found that powerful. And then, I found the biggest problem I had in life, my struggle to make that 100K, to get that 100K award, to get onstage, my long struggle with that was actually my gift because that is now how I build every client’s foundation, and the clients are loving going through it.
The way I explain it is not just theory, it’s here’s my example, here’s what I went through, here’s what I did, and here’s how it worked out. So, they can see the how, they can see the whole journey to it, and like I said before, there are 10 problems to making your next whatever amount of dollars you want to make, but I think the 10 problems to make 100K are the hardest problems. The 10 problems to make a million, they’re still problems. They’re just not as hard because you’ve already figured out the first 10.
Brooke: Yeah, and just think about your trajectory. If you think about that first 100K, if making 100K was as hard as that first one, then the second year, you’d probably only make 200K. And you’re already at 800K now. So, it’s like, “I got it, now we just put the gas on.”
Dave: Yeah, because my goal when I first got the 100K award and we hit 180K, my goal was to at least do 200 next year. But once you’re there, you can’t turn it off. Like, once the train’s rolling, there’s no stopping it. And so, to look at our numbers last month and be like, “We’re at 800K this year,” it boggles my mind. And I remember Katrina saying this to me one time at a retreat, but it’s like Monopoly money at that point. You just don’t even know, it doesn’t feel real. And then you start showing up and serving and providing value. And then it keeps going and you’re just like, “Oh my gosh, I can’t stop it.” But you’re doing the right things. You’re providing impact and you’re helping people with their pain, which is what we all do.
Brooke: It’s so exciting because I think people hear us say numbers like 800K and they can’t even, because getting 100K is so hard, they can’t even wrap their mind around it. So, anybody listening who thinks that’s not realistic, there’s something I’m missing, this guy’s a life coach, he’s making 800K a year, he doesn’t even sound that smart, he’s talking about feelings. Anyone listening to this who’s skeptical because you’ve been in some MLM somewhere, done some weird kind of thing where they promised you that, listen, we’re not promising you’re going to make 800K. But I just really want you to consider that it is possible. Like, it could be true. And give yourself a chance to maybe at least have the conversation about it.
Dave: Yeah, because I think, if you doubt it, you just go to sixfiguregrowth.com and I will prove you wrong every step of the way, like you did for me.
Brooke: That’s awesome. Alright, what about you, Roman?
Roman: So, my niche is I work with successful men who are in a relationship with someone diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. So, everything that goes with that. However, I’m open to helping all kinds of things. My website is romangarcialifecoaching.com and you can reach me by email at [email protected] as well.
Brooke: That’s so awesome. I didn’t realize you were in a relationship with someone diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, but all of what that brings up, all of the work that we do, that just puts it on a heightened level. Wouldn’t you agree?
Roman: It’s urgent. It’s an urgent problem.
Brooke: Yeah, urgent. So, you’re going to be good at coaching on anything, but specifically, if you’re listening to this and you know someone that is in that situation, please let them listen to this podcast. Please have them search out Roman. I’ve had a lot of clients come to me with that issue and so that’s an amazing niche that you’re offering that’s available.
Roman: Thank you.”
Brooke: Thank you guys so much for coming on and being on the podcast and talking. And thank you so much for having the courage to sign up for The Life Coach School and setting an example for other men who may secretly want to do something like this and not be sure that they can and for being so honest about it.
Do not contact them and get on their calendars to talk about The Life Coach School. You do not need any more information to make this decision. They have told you everything you need to know. If you’re afraid, that’s okay. Sign up anyway. We would love to have you join us. There will be a lot of women there, but we’re super-stoked to have dudes involved as well.
So, if you want to find out more information or you want to see us all on video, we’re going to post this video because we recorded this on Zoom. Just go to thelifecoachschool.com/332 and you can find out all the links for everyone there in the show notes and you can see us on video.
Alright, everyone, have a wonderful week and we’ll talk to you all next week.
Hey, if you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out Self-Coaching Scholars. It's my monthly coaching program where we take all this material and we apply it. We take it to the next level and we study it. Join me over at the TheLifeCoachSchool.com/join. Make sure you type in the TheLifeCoachSchool.com/join. I'd love to have you join me in Self-Coaching Scholars. See you there.