How badly do you want your dream?
Maybe you tell people how much you want it. Maybe you think about it all the time.
But thinking about your dream and telling people about it isn’t the same as believing you can have it.
The difference between wanting something and believing in yourself enough to get it is the action you take.
In this episode, I break down why believing in yourself is the ultimate key to getting what you want. Whether you want to become a certified life coach or make a million dollars in your business, I challenge you to put your actions where your mouth is. Learn how to handle the uncomfortable and scary obstacles in your path and practice your skill of believing harder.
I want you to stop talking about it and start doing something about it.
Grab your copy of our new Wisdom From The Life Coach School Podcast book. It covers a decade worth of research, on life-changing topics from the podcast, distilled into only 200 pages. It’s the truest shortcut to self development we have ever created!
What you will discover
- How you’ll know that you really believe in yourself.
- How to turn your obstacles into strategies.
- Why the actions you need to take will be uncomfortable.
- Why failing is so important.
- How I know if someone believes in themselves.
Featured on the show
You are listening to The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo episode number 407.
Welcome to The Life Coach School Podcast, where it’s all about real clients, real problems and real coaching. And now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.
Hello, my friends. Welcome to the podcast today. I’m super excited. I am in Scottsdale, Arizona, loving this weather. Loving it so much, in fact, that I purchased a home here. I came here, started looking at homes to buy, found one I absolutely loved.
I shouldn’t say I found one. My friend Kris Plachy came here to spend the weekend with me. She found it. We went and looked at it. And you know what is so interesting is when she found it, she said, “This is the house you’re going to buy.”
And we were driving out – I had looked, I’m not even kidding you, at so many other houses and she’s like, “Nope, this is the one you’re going to buy.” And then, we went and saw it and I was like, “Oh my gosh, that’s so crazy. I think you’re right. I think this is the one I’m going to buy.”
And I ended up buying it, and I love this house. I’m so excited. The feeling I get in this house is amazing. So, yes, I now have homes in Scottsdale, Austin, Miami, and Vale, Colorado, my friends. So, lots of homes with lots of opportunities to be with my friends and family and enjoy life.
I’ve got some upcoming news to tell you about, but we’ll save that for another podcast, my friends, because Brooke’s life is always so interesting. Bu just know, I am ridiculously happy here. It’s so fun. I love Scottsdale. So, who knew?
I actually came here a few years ago thinking I would buy a house, and I stayed here for a while. Those of you who are in Scholars, that’s where we recorded the intro videos to Scholars, was a couple years ago here in Scottsdale.
And I thought I would want to move out here and I, at that time, didn’t want to. And now, I’m in a whole different place, in a whole different land, and I decided to move into this beautiful home. So, that is the update.
Today, we’re going to talk about how to believe. And I’ve talked a lot about this throughout the podcast. But I want to talk about it today because I feel like it’s important that there’s no misunderstanding about what it actually means to believe something.
And one of the reasons why this is so top of mind for me and so important to me right now is that I am in the process of hiring a sales team. One of the things that you may have noticed, if you’re a certified coach or if you’ve come to my website, is that I don’t have a sales team. Everything is purchased right off of the website.
And lots of my friends have told me that if I had a sales team, we could help lots more people join certification because a lot of people need to have a conversation with someone and really reveal their concerns and their belief systems and their obstacles to joining certification. And if they don’t have a chance to do that, they may come to the site and just not enroll.
And so, we are hiring a sales team. And one of the things that we have done is signed up for sales training. And as I’ve been going through this sales training, it’s really important to me that nothing is a high-pressure sale. And I don’t believe in convincing anyone to join any of my programs. I don’t believe in high-pressure sales. I don’t believe in talking people into it, kind of against their will.
And anyone who’s had someone sell them something that way knows that that’s not my style at all. But even more importantly than that, we don’t want anyone in any of our programs to not be all in, to not be 100% there because they want to be there and they made the choice to be there.
So, if you’re pressuring someone or convincing them to join a program, they’re going to be in that program, kind of maybe, not because they genuinely want to. So, the question has become, how do we have a sales team that really is just there to support people who are considering joining us? And how can we support them in making that decision?
And for me, the decision as a yes or a no is equally valid. Like, if we talk to someone and we find out they’re not a good fit for certification, that’s a beautiful thing for us to know and for them to know. Because I don’t want them to be stuck in any kind of maybe.
Maybe is a dream stealer. So, I’d much rather they say, “Yes,” or, “No,” and move out of maybe. That’s really important to me for all of potential customers, and for you that are all listening. So, we want to invite anyone who’s in a, “Maybe,” standstill with themselves to come on a call with us and talk about joining certification.
So, I tell you all this so you understand that as I’ve been going through this sales training and developing our sales process that’s a non-convincing kind of coaching call to help someone come to their own true answers, I’ve really learned a lot about what it means to sell someone on themselves by helping them overcome their own limitations.
And so, as I’ve been studying this sales process and developing it with my colleague Stephanie, I told her, I’m like, “This is so powerful that I want to use this sales process on myself, for my own dreams, for my own beliefs.”
Like, I don’t need to be sold into certification, right? I’m already certified. I’m sold. I’m already down. But how can I use these same tools, these same processes to sell myself on making $100 million, to sell myself on becoming a better manager, to creating a better team?
What are the things that I can apply to myself? And as I’ve been studying this and understanding how I can apply it to myself, I, of course, as I do, have been creating it for you as well, and how to believe something.
The other thing that has been really powerful for me is, in talking to some of my friends, I have two friends in particular that I have been talking to about what they believe. And both of these friends have told me, “I believe wholeheartedly in my dream. I believe that I will make this amount of money.”
And with both of these friends, I haven’t believed them. And I want to believe them. I want these friends to win. I want them to make a million dollars. I believe in them, but I don’t believe that they believe in them. Do you hear what I’m saying?
So, it’s like, how do I help them believe more in them? And I’ve been trying to help them. I’ve been trying to teach them and show them that they’re not yet there yet.
So, I went on a walk with one of my friends just recently and I was talking to him about how I know that he doesn’t believe in himself. I know that he doesn’t believe I his goal because he’s not willing to take the risk.
And I was just recently listening to a podcast that kind of sums this up. It was actually Russell Brunson’s podcast and he was talking about Dan Kennedy and talking about Batman.
And he was talking about how Dan Kennedy referred to – I don’t even know which Batman. I don’t watch superhero movies. I used to with my kids – but basically talking about how there was this dungeon of hell that people were trying to climb out of, but they would have these ropes around them in case they were to fall. And that the only people that were ever able to escape were people that tried to escape without the rope, without the security of the rope around them.
Those people who had the rope ended up falling and dying because of the, I don’t know, the dungeon of hell fire, whatever. And I thought a lot about this. I thought about this idea, like, how many of us are willing to climb without a rope? How many of us are willing to climb mountains knowing that we could have an emotional death, kind of a social death if we don’t win?
What do we believe in so much that we’re willing to take a risk that heavy on? The risk of rejection, the risk of failing, the risk of financial death, maybe. You know that you believe in something because you’re willing to do that.
So, I had a friend who said, “I’m not willing to invest money in this thing because I’m not willing to risk my savings.” I said, “That’s how you know you don’t believe. Because if you believed 100% that you would win, you would risk your savings.”
For example, you would risk $50,000 in order to make a million. When I first started mine, I risked – I gave a refund for $200,000 in order to make a $1 million that year. That’s a huge risk; me sending $200,000 back because I believed that I could make a million.
Most people are not willing to do that. So, coming back, coming full circle here to a sales call that I might have with a potential customer. Let’s say you’re thinking about joining certification. I want to kind of give you a summary of how this sales call might go for us.
My job is, with you, to help you get to a decision, yes or no, on whether certification is good for you. And the way that we know that you believe in your potential and that you believe that you can become a life coach that will make money, that will learn from this and will benefit from having been in our certification, the way that we know that you truly believe in that end result is you will enroll in certification.
You will take the action of enrolling, or you will take the action of not enrolling on purpose. So, what we will say to you is, “Listen, we want you, at the end of this call, to be done with maybe and to be at a yes or a no, like you’re committed to not signing up to certification for the next year, or you’re going to do it right now and we’re going to do it together, even though it might be scary.”
What proves that someone is believing that they can be a coach and that they can be successful and that they can win in this industry is they will sign up for certification. That’s on a sales call. And that’s for selling anything.
Like, if somebody believes the iPhone is the best phone in the world, you’ll know because they’ll buy one. If someone believes that going on vacation is what they need for themselves right now, you’ll know that they believe that because they’ll actually sign up for it.
And this goes without saying. We’re talking about people that can actually afford to purchase these things. We’re not saying that people don’t believe and don’t have obstacles or limitations in order to be able to do that. That’s not what I’m saying.
And usually, when someone can’t afford it or they’re just not in a position to purchase something, we just extend the timeline in terms of them, when they will sign up, and how they will come up with the money to do something like that.
But we would never recommend anyone sign up for anything or do anything if, you know, I mean they literally can’t because of finances. That goes without saying.
But when you’re in a position to win, when you’re in a position to make a million dollars, I will know if you believe in that by the action you’re taking. So, let me talk about my other friend.
She was saying to me, “I’ve been doing all this work on my business. I’ve been showing up. I’ve been posting videos. I’ve been showing up on Instagram. I genuinely believe that I will make $1 million.” And she’s already certified as a coach.
And I said to her, “I don’t believe you because you don’t have enough results from your actions, which makes me realize that you don’t have enough failures and you don’t have enough wins. Just being busy, just taking action, just going out there and doing things that have no chance of you being rejected or no chance of you winning is not believing.”
You know that you believe in something when you are willing to bleed for it. And sometimes, that means putting your money where your mouth is. And sometimes, that means taking a risk in the content you put out there. And sometimes, that means investing your evenings and your weekends and your time in doing something because you know that they payoff will be there.
If you don’t believe that you’ll make $1 million, you’re probably not going to show up on evenings and weekends to do it. You’re not going to think your time is worth it. But if you know that you’re going to win, you’re probably going to be willing to put the effort in.
So, you need to ask yourself, first and foremost, where are you right now? And where are you going? Where do you want to go?
So, for example, if I was talking to you about certification and becoming a life coach, I would say, “Okay, where are you right now in your journey to becoming a life coach? And where will you be when you get there? And what is the difference between those two things?”
I could do this with my own goal of making $100 million. Where am I now? And where will I be? Now, if you picture this for yourself, there’s the image of you standing – I like to do a little stick figure. It’s kind of the before image. And then there’s this arcing bridge between where you are now and where you will be when all your dreams have come true; where you want to be.
And if you look at that arcing bridge, I like to think of it as a ladder. And the rungs on that ladder are the obstacles between where you are now and where you want to go. And we need to turn those obstacles into strategies.
So, whatever is between you and your goal then becomes the exact thing you need to do, the exact thing you need to overcome in order to achieve that goal. And I know this sounds obvious, but many of us miss it.
So, let’s talk about a weight loss example. Right now, let’s say I weigh 200 pounds and I want to weigh 150 pounds. What are my obstacles in between me getting there? Overeating. Eating out too much. Not exercising. Those are my three main obstacles.
Now, when I turn those three obstacles on their head and I create strategies for overcoming them, then I have my how. Then I have my prescription of how to get from here to there. Do you see what I’m saying?
So, overeating and having too much desire for food is my current obstacle. So, that means my strategy is reducing my desire for food and eating less than I require for fuel. Now I have my strategy, that was once an obstacle that I turned around, for overcoming it.
Eating out at restaurants too much. Okay, that’s the obstacle. My strategy now is to cook at home more, or to find a way to eat at restaurants that serves me in my ability to eat less than my body requires for fuel and to lose weight. And so, all of a sudden, I have this prescription based on the obstacles.
Now, I’ll know if I believe in my end result because I will start taking massive action to achieve it. My belief will be demonstrated in my action. Because remember, beliefs generate emotion. Certainty, excitement, determination are all created by belief. And you can’t have those strong emotions generated from that belief without taking action. They will drive you to take action.
Believing in something is not something you just think about. It’s not just something that you think hard enough about that you believe. Because what happens, when you believe in something, you show up. You look at someone who believes in a religion. If they’re devout and devoted, their actions will reflect that.
You will know that they believe in their religion by how they behave and how they show up and how consistent they are. The same is true with your dreams. It’s not just what you talk about. It’s not just what you think about. It’s what you’re doing.
So, the way that you believe is by anticipating, starting from where you are, knowing where you’re going, what are the obstacles, and then taking action to overcome those obstacles. And the action that you need to take will be uncomfortable and scary because they will be consistently producing rejection and failure.
How do we know that? Because you’re not ready for that end result yet. The way that you get ready is by falling down and getting up and falling down and getting up and falling down and getting up.
No one wants to fall down. But how do you know someone believes in their journey to get there? They’re moving towards there and they’re falling down as they get there.
Figuring out the how requires courage, failure, and action, period. And if you’re not out there failing, figuring out the how, I don’t believe you that you believe in your dream.
I believe in you. I believe in your dream. But I don’t believe that you do because you don’t have enough failures. And I’m not talking about failures from inaction. I’m not talking about failures from passive action. I’m not talking about failures from sitting on the sidelines. I’m talking about you taking your shot on goal and missing, over and over and over.
I’m talking about you making offers and people saying no and you learning from them. I’m talking about you putting your money where your mouth is when it comes to investing in Facebook Ads or signing up for certifications or hiring a coach.
If you really believe in yourself and believe in your endgame, you won’t be reckless with your money. You won’t be irresponsible with your money. You will be deliberate with it. Because listen, if I can put $3 into a Facebook Ad and make $5, I’m going to do that all day long, and so are you.
But if you don’t believe you can get that result, you’re not going to do it. So, if you’re telling me you believe in that result but you’re not taking action, I want you to look at yourself and ask yourself why.
There is magic in starting to take action right before you believe, to almost act as if you believe more than you do. Don’t get too far ahead of yourself. But if I believed I would make $100 million, what would I be willing to risk? What would I be willing to do?
Would I be willing to spend $1 million on Facebook Ads? Would I be willing to spend $4 million? Would I be willing to spend $300,000 hiring the right person? Would I be willing to give someone a portion of my business in order to help me get there? If I actually believe I’m going to get to $100 million, what would I do?
Now, ask yourself that same question. Why aren’t you there yet? What are your obstacles between you and that goal? And what do you need to do to overcome that obstacle? What is the strategy to overcoming that obstacle? Solve for that and your dreams come true. That’s how it works.
I’ve done it so many times. Believing isn’t just thinking you want something. Believing isn’t telling other people you want something. Believing is putting your action where your mouth is, putting your action where your head is.
If someone is looking at you from the outside, can they tell how much you believe in your dream? Are they impressed by the amount and the quality of the action you’re taking? And if they’re not, it may be that you’re not believing enough.
And one of the ways to believe more is by taking action towards your goal. The action proves the belief system. The action creates results, which proves the belief system.
So, if you’ve been telling everyone how much you believe but you don’t have any results, it’s time to start taking action. I believe in you. Go get it, my friends. Have a beautiful week, everyone. Talk to you soon. Bye-bye.
Hey, if you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out Self-Coaching Scholars. It's my monthly coaching program where we take all this material and we apply it. We take it to the next level and we study it. Join me over at the TheLifeCoachSchool.com/join. Make sure you type in the TheLifeCoachSchool.com/join. I'd love to have you join me in Self-Coaching Scholars. See you there.