Moving Forward 2
We may be all isolated in our own homes, but we’re going through a lot of the same struggles. So today, I'm sharing one of my recent coaching calls to offer you all a little insight from inside Scholars.
Let me start by telling you something: the human experience is not supposed to be a vacation.
Don’t be surprised when there are struggles and challenges. That’s how life was intended to be. How we respond to the challenges and move through them is what matters.
In this episode, we discuss backlash for selling in “a time like this,” taking social distancing to a whole other level, and anticipating a financial storm that hasn’t even happened yet. We all love watching people struggle in books and movies, but we don’t want to experience it ourselves. But, guess what? This is the human experience! And it’s beautiful!
Listen to the show
What You will discover
- Why people would rather feel mad than afraid and look for a villain to blame.
- How to hold space for those who are angry without compromising your integrity.
- That there is no shame in appropriately selling your value in the current climate.
- Why nothing about your value has been affected by the virus.
- How to double down on the value you provide.
- How to target the right people for your services, not the ones who can’t hire you.
Featured on the show
Get the Full Episode Transcript:download the transcript
Welcome to The Life Coach School Podcast, where it’s all about real clients, real problems and real coaching. And now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.
Well, hello there, my friends. Welcome to the podcast, Moving Forward, I decided to take a little segment from one of my coaching calls that I did yesterday and share with you some of the insight. A lot of what is in this is about business and making money and selling during this time. If you have a business or you're part of a business that is still up and running and selling and doing all the things, you will really enjoy this podcast. I also do a little bit of a rant in the beginning, a little bit of tough love, so get ready. Let's go.
Alright, my friends. Let’s do this. I want to start with a little bit of some tough love. Are you guys up for some tough love? Some of you need it. And I’m going to give it to you. I give it to myself a lot, so you are in good company.
Here’s the deal. Your life as a human, your human experience is not supposed to be a vacation. It is not supposed to be easy and you don’t have a right to claim any of it. Isn’t it crazy? This is the part that killed me when I was giving myself this little self-love. Like, I don’t have a right to hot water. I don’t have a right to wi-fi. I don’t have a right to a bed. I don’t have a right to shoes. I don’t have a right for any of this stuff.
This is my human experience. My human experience guarantees me that I will have life and the opportunity to die. That’s what we get. That’s guaranteed. And I was thinking about my ancestors and everything that they went through so they could survive and reproduce and have children so we could now be here. They gave me the opportunity to live a life and die. That’s it. That’s what we got.
So, let’s get some perspective on what we think our lives should be and what our lives are and just remember, “Oh right, I keep comparing my life to what I think it should be.” Okay, whenever you do that, you’re going to suffer, especially if how you compare your life to what it should be doesn’t match.
The second thing I want to offer is don’t forget to use that imagination for good. Use it – if you’re going to think about the future, think about the good things. Think about the opportunities, the wonderful things, right? At least give it as much airtime as you do the bad things. That’s what I want to say; 50-50, let’s do the balance.
I posted in my Slack to my certified coaches before I got on this call and I said, “Hey, tell me what everyone’s struggling with because I want to address it on the podcast and I want to address it in my coaching calls. I want to make sure that I’m covering the topics that people most want to hear about.” And I’m going to hear about them all from you today and I can’t wait and I’m all in for coaching you.
But here’s what I want to say first about what someone posted in there. One of my coaches posted that she’s been coaching a lot of clients who are mad. And she’s coaching a lot of clients who have people mad at them. And I think this is very normal. And I want to explain to you why.
So, if you’re someone and you feel like people are mad at you or you feel mad at people, I want to explain to you why that might be. So, what’s going on is that the world is uncertain, so your brain is freaking out. So, your brain is saying something’s gone terribly wrong, and immediately you feel like a victim. Immediately you feel powerless.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means everything’s working right. But victims are always looking for villains. When we’re a victim, when we feel like we’re victims, we’re like looking for the villain because we want to feel angry instead of afraid. So, anger is actually very normal at a time like this. Everybody else is doing it wrong and we’re doing it right.
So, I want to give you an example of how I dealt with someone who was really mad at me and I think it’s a good example of how many of you could deal with it and it always starts with compassion, okay. So, I got an email from a double-diamond Scholar. Actually, she’s not quite double-diamond yet. She’s about to become double-diamond.
And she wrote me an email and she said, “Hey, I just talked to your customer service and I feel like really disappointed and really angry with this letter that they sent back to me in response to my request. And my request to them was, hey, I’m almost double-diamond, I want to maintain my status but I want to cancel now and then come back. And I’m hoping, because of what’s going on with the Coronavirus and what’s going on in the world, that you will extend me the opportunity to do that.”
And I have told my team very clearly that we’re not going to do that. And one of the reasons we’re not going to do that is we do not want to support belief systems of people panicking. Now, that’s not to say that everyone who wants to cancel is panicking.
Some people have lost their jobs. Some people have other issues that are going on. Of course, that’s true. But there are some people who are panicking and we don’t want to start making exceptions and say, “Yes, this is an exceptional time and we’re going to change everything.”
I really want to stay within my integrity of my rules. So, that was something I had told my customer service, “This is what we’re handling.” So, for them to say that my customer service didn’t have compassion, I understand where she’s coming from. But I also understand that she’s disappointed.
In her letter, she said, “I think you should extend this to everyone who loses a job. They should be able to quit and come back if they want.” And I understand where she’s coming from. I totally do. And I have so much compassion for her or anyone else that’s losing their job or is in a financial situation. But not just now; always I do.
I have been running Scholars for three years now. So many people have lost their jobs while they’re in Scholars and have had to cancel. I’ve never made an exception, ever. That’s my rule. I just stand in that integrity. And there are people that lose their jobs and they find a way to stay in Scholars because that’s what’s important to them. And I respect everyone’s decision to do what’s right for them. And I stand firm within my decisions.
And I believe that every single person, whether they’ve lost their job or not, going through this time right now, I believe in my soul that there’s nothing more important than getting coached right now; nothing. I would not pay my car payment, honestly, and get coached.
But that’s not my decision to make for her, of course. But I’m not going to support her in making a decision that I don’t think is in her best interest. In this case, if she’s lost her job and she literally can’t afford it, of course, that’s her decision. So, I have compassion either way. But I feel good and solid about my decision.
I also feel good about her being mad and her being disappointed and her being frustrated. I’m mad and disappointed that she has to cancel too. I don’t want her to cancel. I want to be able to coach her. I could tell that she hadn’t been managing her mind by the way that she had written me this email.
But I also love her and allow her to be mad at me and allow her to be disappointed, and allow her to think that my rule is wrong, and allow her to think that I should do it differently. I’m all in. That doesn’t mean I change what I’m doing. It just means that I understand where she’s coming from and I can hold space for her to be mad and disappointed.
And that’s for anyone who’s mad and disappointed at me always, in my entire life, for everything that I do. And if she wants to misinterpret that and think that I’m not doing that because I’m not compassionate, I let her be wrong about that too.
Listen, we decided on this rule that you can’t cancel and then rejoin a long time ago. It costs us thousands of dollars. People want to quit and be able to come back. We tell them no, you cannot pay us anymore money, you cannot come back in.
Listen, it’s not because we don’t love you. It’s because we do love you and we want to hold this space of people in Scholars who are all in. I feel good about the decision. I feel so proud of what we’ve created here and I feel so proud of how in integrity we’ve stayed. I also feel proud of her for telling me how she felt. And I feel proud of her for expressing her emotion and telling that she’s mad and disappointed and frustrated.
So, if you have people in your life – maybe you’re a coach and you’re having the same experience that I’m having, or maybe it’s your friends or your family. Maybe people are mad at you because of how many times you wash your hands or don’t wash your hands or how you’re showing up, or whatever it is.
It’s okay for people to be mad at you all. It’s okay, so take a big deep breath and remember these two things; however everybody’s acting is okay. We can’t control it. Don’t try to control it by buying into their belief systems. And number two, this life is not meant to be a vacation. We’ve got to hunker down. Let’s do this. Let’s get in a huddle. Let’s remember what we know about the model and let’s try to share it with as many people as we can and be very careful not to be obliging people’s belief systems and giving in and being like, “Oh yes, you’re right, this is an exception.”
There is no exception to the model, my friends. This is the human life experience. This is 50% of the human life experience. No exceptions. So, if you’re having a really hard time right now, it’s because you’re human. It’s not because something’s gone terribly wrong in the world.
What I want to tell you is that wrong in the world is normal. Do you understand what I’m saying? It’s part of the deal. So, that’s what I wanted to offer you today, especially if you’re struggling with people being mad at you or you’re in a place where you’re mad at someone else. I just want to offer that that’s going to feel very powerless.
So, before you take any action or react to feeling angry, check in with yourself. Am I feeling like a victim right now and is this because of how I’m feeling? Maybe it’s not. Maybe you have a really valid model that you’re creating and just make sure you take a deep breath and you can be angry and you can express that anger and it’s okay for you to be angry, 100% all the time. Just decide how you want to express it and take that pause to communicate that.
If you’re angry with me and you want coaching on that, I’m in, 100%, okay. Alright, so, who wants coaching today? Let me pull you up. What’s happening?
Speaker 2: Hi. I’m so glad that I’m talking to you. I need you today. So, I’m a business coach. My program that goes on sale every three months went on sale on Monday and I’m having so many feelings of shame around selling during this time. And so much of what you’ve already said is really appropriate to me. And I’ve been trying so hard to figure out what the thoughts are because I do believe in the value of what I’m offering. I do see how people need it almost now more than ever because the program I offer is a very specific program where you just do 15 minutes of action every day. So, it’s really transferable to what people are going through right now. But I still feel all of this shame.
Brooke: What is the thought that makes you feel shame?
Speaker 2: So, someone emailed me this morning and said that I was monetizing tragedy and I was exploiting people. And I think that that, maybe not in those words, but it’s that fear that if…
Brooke: Here’s the thing; is that true? Is that what you’re doing?
Speaker 2: No.
Brooke: Tell me, is there a drop of truth to any of it? Were you like, “Oh great, a tragedy…” This was something you had planned. This is a way that you can help businesspeople. This is your work. This is what you do for work. So, this is how you feed your family. This is how you make your money.
Speaker 2: And then I make money and pay other people…
Brooke: And you pay your employees and you feed your children – I don’t know if you have children, but whatever it is. You’re doing your living. Now, someone else has a thought about you, who probably doesn’t know you and probably doesn’t have the model. So, they don’t even know it’s a thought, right? So, let’s have compassion for this person. Can we just all together love this person? Love them because they believe that you’re somehow a villain in this. And they’re so wrong about that. But they really believe it. They’re not, like, lying to you about it. They believe it. And do you understand why they believe that, why they may have a mentality like that?
Speaker 2: Yes, I can see how if he’s not inside my life, it might look like that from the outside.
Brooke: Of course. And they’re making all their presumptions about, like, nobody should be making money right now. Nobody should be profiting right now. If everyone’s not profiting, nobody should be profiting. And I think it’s so interesting, like, nobody should be offering offers or help to people. Nobody should be offering – like, business owners who need help with their business right now, you shouldn’t be helping them.
And listen, this is an update, people feel this way all the time. I get messages like this all the time because I’m helping people who are in pain and I shouldn’t do that. I shouldn’t charge people that are in pain. I should help them for free, and I guess never make money. It’s an interesting perspective that I think is valid for them. It is irrelevant to me.
Their opinion about how I should live my life is irrelevant. If they don’t want to sell stuff, they don’t have to. But they’re probably working for a company that needs to sell stuff. I mean, somebody’s got to sell stuff to pay that person. So, they may not understand how that works, somehow, how the businesses get paid, that they have to sell the things. And they may think that only certain things should be sold and other things shouldn’t, and that’s okay that they think that. But that’s not relevant to you. But what matters is what you think.
Speaker 2: I think there is a small part of me that thinks help is only help if it’s free…
Brooke: And you know what, I have to say that a lot of you think that. Do you feel like I’ve helped you?
Speaker 2: Yes. I thought that long before I paid you anything.
Brooke: Long before, so that help was free. But then I paid you and did it help too?
Speaker 2: Yes. Yeah, and you couldn’t do this for everybody in the world.
Brooke: No, I do help a lot of people for free and I love that. But I don’t think that help is more or less valuable than the help that I’m able to do with you right here one on one that you’re paying me for, right? Think of how beautiful this thing is right now. You pay me for me to help you so you can go help other people who are paying you. It’s the most beautiful thing in the world. And then those people will pay you and then you’ll go buy something and help someone else, and then they’ll go buy something or they’ll feed their family with that money. That’s how it works, my friends.
So, it’s okay to be scared about things. It’s okay to blame people that you think are doing it wrong but you need to come back to you and be like, “What is my purpose in the world? And am I willing to have people hate me that don’t know what I’m doing and don’t know my heart and don’t know my purpose and don’t understand what I do for a living?”
And if the answer is not yes, you need to quit and go work for someone who’s willing to sell. If you want to be the one, you’ve got to be willing to sell, which means whether we’re going through a crisis or not, people won’t like it. Bless them. It’s fine. They don’t have to like what I do. Thank goodness. Can you imagine if everyone had to like what we do? I know that what I offer helps people. I know when they pay me for it, it helps the world tremendously in so many ways. It helps them and me.
I don’t think of it as they’re paying me their money. It’s like they’re investing in themselves. And isn’t it beautiful? And then I take that money and I’m able to pay my employees and able to pay all the other vendors. I’m able to help support so many people that need support right now.
Like, even as I say it, I get chills. It’s the most beautiful thing. And you being able to go out there in the world and sell your heart out with all those jeering haters is what you’re being called to do. And there will be someone who will buy from you and be helped by you and be able to make money because of you that will thank you for being so courageous and doing that. Do you want to disappoint that person, or do you want to disappoint the person who sent you the DM?
Speaker 2: I already had a couple of people say, like, thank you for showing up and selling because they are feeling the same and they wanted to see someone doing it.
Brooke: Of course, of course they are. And so, I think it’s good to be aware of what’s going on in the world and to make sure your selling is appropriate for what people are going through, of course. But I also think, I will never apologize for making an offer for someone to help them, and for them to pay me money for them to help them. That is a beautiful thing. And I will always pay other people to help me too. That is a beautiful thing. And that’s how it works. When we spend money and we sell, that’s what keeps the economy going. If everyone stops spending money and stops selling, nobody makes any money. There’s no growth.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Brooke: So, I feel personally, I’m going to do my part in this for all the people that work with me and for me. I’m going to be an example of that. And especially to the people who need what I have to offer them. That’s it. So, you need to figure out what you want your thought to be…
Speaker 2: And then just have my own back with it and believe in it.
Brooke: Yeah, I’m willing for people to hate me in order to help people.
Speaker 2: That’s what I needed. Thank you.
Brooke: Hell yeah, let the haters come. They’re going to come, sister. They’re going to come and they’re going to DM you and they’re going to sit back and complain about what you’re doing. This is what I offer to them, just because I’m a little snarky that way. If someone is complaining a lot and super-mad at me and yelling at me, I’m like, “hey, I can help you with that. Self-Coaching Scholars, $297. I know you’re really mad and upset right now. Come into my program, I can help with that.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Brooke: And listen, there’s a lot of people out there that can’t afford us right now, of course they can’t. And listen, we’re not forcing them to buy. We’re not pressuring them to buy when they can’t buy ever. And that’s okay too. And for those people, we have all the free content that they could benefit from. You’ve got this. This isn’t anything new. This is the challenge of standing up and showing up in the world and being willing to step away from the crowd.
Speaker 2: You’re right. It’s the same stuff that comes up every time I sell…
Brooke: Of course it is, but now you have an excuse to maybe not do it. Do not give into it. Do not do that.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
Brooke: You’ve got it. Who’s next? Let’s go. Alright, what have you got?
Speaker 3: Okay, here’s the deal. I met a guy a week and a half ago rock climbing. I just got divorced. Been married for 12 years. This is the first guy I’ve met since that. It was amazing, Brooke, it was so wonderful. I totally fell for him. And he’s Australian and lives in Germany. And so, he flew back. And we were going to see each other in June. He was going to come back out. But now there’s a travel ban. And we were texting, but I just couldn’t keep it together. I was creating all this emotional suffering around, like, his texts and then his not-texts and the fact that…
Brooke: Wait, wait, we need to coin this term, y’all; his not-texts. I coach so many people on his not-texts. I have to write it down. I have to share that with Kara for sure. Okay, so…
Speaker 3: So, I mean, I don’t know when the travel ban is going to end. I don’t know when we’re going to see each other. And I knew I was ruining it. I was building up so much resentment and making this whole story. And so, I just decided and I just was really honest and I said, “Hey, if you ever come back to the US, I want to see you again, so here’s my email. The texting’s not working for me.” And I got off and I totally know I changed a C to make the Ts and the Fs better. And it worked for like a couple of days…
Brooke: It always does, my friends. It’s always temporary. That’s why this situation is so awesome for so many of you guys that can’t change the C. You’re like, what? So, you’re a C-changer.
Speaker 3: Totally. And I was like, “I’m so in control and once the travel ban is over, I’ll just get back in touch and I’ll go fly out to meet him and it will be fine.” But, Brooke, I wake up – I can’t shake it. I wake up every day and I just feel depressed. And the thought is, I’m never going to see him again and I can’t get over it.
Brooke: Okay, so this is the perfect relationship for you, obviously. You know that on some level.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I want to, like, fix it. Like, bring him back so I don’t have to do the work. Like, the universe knew, let’s send you the perfect guy and he’s going to live in Germany, and then there’s going to be a pandemic where you can’t see each other.
Brooke: I can’t even tell you how perfect that is for you. And you showed him your crazy early, which I think is great because you’re like, “Here I am, are you still in?”
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he was all in for those five hours that we knew each other.
Brooke: So, here’s the thing, what you’re thinking right now is, “I’m never going to see him again.” That’s not helping.
Speaker 3: No, it feels awful. I have no motivation to do anything. I just want to buffer and sleep. I have, like, no goals for my life anymore. I’m just like, when’s the travel ban going to end?
Brooke: Listen to me, you have this thought, “I’m never going to see him again,” and so then you feel panicked and freaked out, and then you tell him to stop texting you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I cut off all contact with him.
Brooke: Yeah, so let’s look at that model again. I’m never going to see him again. Panic. Action, cut off all communication. So, not only do you not see him, you don’t hear him, you don’t read him. There’s nothing, right? Now, let’s just pause for a minute and have some compassion for you right now. This is super-hard for you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Brooke, this is hard. This is the first time I’ve felt those feelings for someone in a really long time.
Brooke: I mean, we get why you’re doing this. Believe me, sister, I have been there. You’re like, if I can’t see you again then I can’t talk to you ever again. Because it seems logical.
Speaker 3: Yeah, then I look crazy. And I don’t want to look crazy.
Brooke: But you are kind of crazy. So am I. So, we’ve got to share that early. Just so you know… crazy. So, I think for you to just notice that you have been handed the most precious beautiful curriculum for your life. And whether you’re with this guy again or not, having a relationship with him in this way is a beautiful thing, in my opinion.
Speaker 3: So, are you saying I should have just stayed in contact and done the thought work around my…
Brooke: Do you think you’re not in a relationship with him right now?
Speaker 3: No, I feel like I put it on hold.
Brooke: Oh, you think so? You think you’re on hold in this relationship right now? What are we talking about? Okay, what is a relationship with someone?
Speaker 3: Your thoughts about them.
Brooke: Okay, so have you had any – in this past couple of days – any thoughts about him?
Speaker 3: All the time. I’m still very much in a relationship with him. I feel like I stopped the relationship on his side…
Brooke: You think he doesn’t think about you at all?
Speaker 3: I hope he does.
Brooke: I mean honestly, do you think he’s thought about you at all?
Speaker 3: I’m scared he hasn’t.
Brooke: You said the feeling was mutual and that you were going to meet each other again.
Speaker 3: Yes, as soon as we could.
Brooke: Okay, so there’s thoughts that you’re having and thoughts that he is having. You’re in a relationship. We can’t define it for him, but even if he’s not having thoughts about you, you are for sure in a relationship with him. So, you cutting off contact and trying to control him does not end your relationship with him. It does not put it on hold at all. In fact, it intensifies it for you.
Speaker 3: Oh crap. I thought I was escaping.
Brooke: How can you think you’re escaping when you feel the way you feel?
Speaker 3: I thought it was me. I thought if I could just take away the stimulus, the input, I’d go back to…
Brooke: If you could just change the C. But why would you want to go back?
Speaker 3: Because I felt normal before I met him. I felt in control. I felt centered and grounded and that was, of course, before I had met him. I also feel shame for even missing him when I should just be taking care of my kids.
Brooke: Listen, you felt normal, but you didn’t feel like you had someone in your life that you liked this much either.
Speaker 3: That’s true. This is the most I’ve ever liked someone.
Brooke: So, you’ve got to be willing. I’m going to let you go because you’re losing your internet and you have your kids. Isn’t it fun having kids at home, my friends? So good. But here’s the thing, she’s trying to control the C. We’re all trying to control the C and we think that will end whatever’s going on here.
Some of you think, when this virus is gone, when the travel ban is lifted, when all this stuff changes, then I’m not going to ever feel a negative emotion again. We tell ourselves these lies. You’re still going to be you. You’re still going to be human. Life is still going to be 50-50. And unfortunately, my friends, you’re still going to have a brain. Did I say unfortunately? You can tell where my brain’s been lately. What’s happening?
Speaker 4: Hey, Brooke. Nice to meet you in live…
Brooke: You too, in life. Not really, but…
Speaker 4: In live…
Brooke: Live, exactly, with good social distance.
Speaker 4: Yes, so what I wanted to talk about was I’ve been wrestling with feeling anxious and discouraged. And a lot of it has to do with – I guess my C-line is just looking around me and the impact of the Coronavirus. And I’ve been telling people it’s not the Coronavirus. It’s the Corona-fear-virus and I’m more scared of that than I am the Coronavirus. I feel like it’s going have a bigger impact.
And so, my thoughts are I just finished weathering one financial storm like two months ago, and barely getting up on my feet. And so, my thought is, I can’t weather a second storm so close.
Brooke: Why? You’re like super good at it. You just did it.
Speaker 4: I know, because I don’t have, like, my emergency fund built up.
Brooke: But that doesn’t mean you can’t weather it. Of course you can weather it.
Speaker 4: I guess I can’t weather it the way I want to weather it.
Brooke: Okay. I mean, if we’re going to have a thought, let’s be honest about it. You can weather it, you just can’t keep your things exactly the way you want them and control the world, right?
Speaker 4: Yeah. So, for me, business is like a race. And it’s fun, I enjoy it. And I get to be on the track and I’m racing with other people, whether I come in first place or last place, I got to run in a race. And I enjoy that. And with the last financial weather that I had to go through, and now with this, I feel like they took me out of a track race and threw me into, what are they called, those mud rudders.
Brooke: Hell yeah, game on, let’s go.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you can’t run through the mud…
Brooke: So, let me ask you this; would you rather not be in the race or would you rather be in the mud rudder?
Speaker 4: Oh man, that’s an easy answer. I’d rather be in the mud rudder.
Brooke: Hell yeah, let’s go. Let’s go, right? Listen, you want it to be easy. We all do. Can we all just take a collective minute and agree that we all want it to be easy? Come on. We imagine it being easy. You can do this.
Speaker 4: I just don’t want it to be hard back to back.
Brooke: I know, but listen, I think you’re wrong about that. Because if it’s hard back to back, you’re going to be double strong.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but what if I end up all broken legged and everything out of it on the other side?
Brooke: Not going to happen. But if it does, you’ll just get a cast and wait a couple months and you’ll be fine. The way you’re thinking right now is not fun. But a mud rudder – I have heard that a mud rudder can be fun.
Speaker 4: They look fun.
Brooke: Right, isn’t that interesting to say out loud? I like watching other people do hard things.
Speaker 4: I love reading books.
Brooke: I love it when people have been failing and they fail again and then they succeed. That’s super-fun to read about, but I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to be the example of how to overcome that, I want it to be easy. I want there to be lots of clients knocking on my door right now. That’s what I want.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so what’s a better thought for me and for people?
Brooke: Any other thought in the world is better. I’m just messing with you. Listen, your thought right now is all presupposed on this being a hard time too. Like, you’re accepting that thought as the truth.
Speaker 4: Well, I’m interpreting the circumstances that I’m seeing with my clients and…
Brooke: But why? Why would you interpret them that way?
Speaker 4: Because some of them are already contemplating pausing their services.
Brooke: Well yeah, and you’re like, “Me too, I’m freaking out too.”
Speaker 4: Well yeah, I’m leaning in that direction now, yeah. I don’t want to, but…
Brooke: See, listen, this is what you’re doing. So, the first part of this coaching with you, I wanted you to make peace with the worst that can happen that you’re going to weather another financial storm. Because you’ll be fine. You’ll weather it. We all will weather it, so that’s number one. Number two, making the assumption that you have a storm coming in your business is not serving you, right? Can you still help your clients right now?
Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely.
Brooke: Do they still need your help?
Speaker 4: Some of them more than two weeks ago?
Brooke: So, what in the heck are you talking to me about this for?
Speaker 4: Because my monkey brain keeps trying to scare the crap out of me.
Brooke: Listen, let’s talk about value for a minute. This was on my podcast today. Where does value in your business come from?
Speaker 4: From what our clients get from the service we provide.
Brooke: And where does the service you provide come from?
Speaker 4: From my team that we have in place and the things that we’re doing for them, from the ideas that we come up with to help them…
Brooke: From your brains.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah.
Brooke: Value is produced by the brain. Nothing has changed in the amount of value that you can offer. And your customers need that value more than ever. They’re going to get a two for one. So, think about it, whatever they’ve already paid you, they just got an instant 50% discount because whatever they paid you, you’re going to deliver double. That’s what you’re going to do. You don’t have time to be thinking about your poor mud rudder financial crisis. You have so much work to do right now. You’re like, here’s the situation I thought we were in, now we’re a different situation, I’m going to help you make more money. What did you say you do for them? You help them make money?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I own a marketing company.
So, you’ve got to market to your clients. We’ve got to keep everybody’s head straight, right? If everyone keeps spending the money that they do have, those of us who can make money right now have an obligation to do it, in my opinion.
People are afraid. They’re not going to spend the money, that they still have the money, they’re just freaking out holding onto it, some people. Now, some people, that’s a different situation. But you need to gauge which ones those are. And if you lose a couple of clients, you have got to go get some more. They need help right now more than ever. How are they going to do what you’re trying to do with them? You need to show them how to do that with their clients and then they can do it and it will be collective.
Speaker 4: Yeah, up until about last night, I said, okay I need to call all my clients. But before that I had been resistant because I didn’t want them to think just calling because he thinks that we’re going to cancel his services.
Brooke: No, you call them and you say, “How can I help? What can I do? Are you afraid? What do you need from me? I just want you to know whatever you’ve paid me, I’m delivering double right now, let’s go.” That’s what I did for all of you guys in Scholars too, right?
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Brooke: I’m doubling down. Let’s go. So, whatever you paid me, I’m going to give you double because that’s the value that I can produce in the world, and the same with you.
Speaker 4: So, is that the new thought? Because right now, it’s like, I can’t weather a second storm.
Brooke: Okay, let’s talk about why that’s such a terrible thought. The first reason why it’s a terrible thought is it presumes you have a storm. Which is just something you’ve made up in your mind. You have no evidence that you’re going to have a storm, zero.
Speaker 4: Well, I’m foreseeing it.
Brooke: No, it’s a sunny day. Are you in business? Do you have clients? Do you have employees? Is everyone getting paid? Is everything happening? So you’re projecting a storm and that’s what you’ll create. So, that’s the first problem of you thinking about, like, “I’m going to have to weather a storm, except that it’s sunny outside.” You’re outside on a sunny day with an umbrella and a ski outfit.
Speaker 4: It’s really nice outside.
Brooke: That’s what you’re doing right now. So, first of all, that’s why that thought isn’t working. So, right now, there is no storm in your world. Is that true?
Speaker 4: There is no storm, yet.
Brooke: You had to throw the yet in. So just notice how attached you are to this storm. You’re really committed to it. What if you committed to, “I’m going to be an example of what is possible?”
Speaker 4: Yeah, that’s what I want to be. I want to be that…
Brooke: Then you can’t be in love with this storm that’s not coming. This is your opportunity to make your team, your clients, your business better. What can you do better? That’s what you should be focusing all your energy on instead of, “I can’t weather a storm.” And hey, if you can’t weather one, which that’s not true, you can, but if you can’t, what are you going to do to make sure there’s not one? Clean up that brain of yours and let’s go.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Brooke: Work as hard as you can to clean up your brain and help your clients clean up theirs. That is your job. Do not indulge.
Speaker 4: And I’ve been indulging all of the last three days.
Brooke: Okay, here’s your new thought; you create the weather.
Speaker 4: Ooh, I like that.
Brooke: You’re welcome. Now, you have work to do. You’ve got to go.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Brooke: See you later. Alright, who’s next? There’s so many of you. I love you all. Can we just hug it out together, all of us?
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I’m so excited, holy cow. How do we apply that to someone who’s a weight loss coach? Like, I’m not concerned about my clients canceling or anything like that. But going out to get new clients when there might be more important things going on…
Brooke: What’s more important than someone’s health right now? Please tell me.
Speaker 5: Nothing is more important than someone’s health, I agree with that. If my focus is weight loss, and that’s the result people want, although we know what it takes to get there, then I still need the outcome, I need to sell it differently then, is that what you’re saying?
Brooke: No. Hell, for weight loss, mental health, the reason why people overeat, so many people are at home eating their faces off right now because they can’t manage their stress.
Speaker 5: You’re right about that, yeah.
Brooke: People are buffering more than ever. They need you more than ever. They don’t want to come at the end of this three months and have gained 15 pounds. And this is what I keep telling everyone. I’m like, no better time in the world for you to pick a goal, a 90-day goal, and go for it. You could say, the point in my life when I changed my life is when we, as a country, as a world suffered with the Coronavirus. That’s when I finally got serious about losing weight. That’s when I finally got serious about stop-overeating. That was the moment for me.
And I can’t even tell you, so many people that I’ve been talking to, like, I need to focus my brain on something other than this. This is a great opportunity. I’m going to come out of this like that. And it’s so important for us to take care of our health. Like, I’m not just talking about lose weight health. I’m talking about mental health. Your people need you. And the buffering is out of control right now with people, out of control.
Speaker 5: That makes sense. I just keep thinking of all these people at home and they have kids at home and they’re trying to do all of this stuff and they’re like, “I don’t have time for that.”
Brooke: But you have to think – okay, listen to me, all of you guys who have businesses, you can’t think about the people that genuinely can’t hire you. People that are home and they’re taking care of their kids fulltime, those aren’t the people that you need to be targeting right now, even though they need you, it’s impossible for them to hire you. But there are people that are home.
Like, let me imagine a person for you. A person that normally goes into the office and has a really clean routine – so they wake up, they’re able to go to the gym, they’re able to go to the office, they don’t have a lot of skills for managing anxiety and stress because they’ve never had much anxiety and stress. Now, all of a sudden, they can’t leave their house, they’re at home, they don’t have any social outlet and they’re overeating all the time. Those are the people. You target people that have the money and want to hire you. There are hundreds of people that want to hire you right now that need help, thousands, and that have the money to do it. you need to find them. That is your responsibility, to find them. Don’t go after people that can’t hire you and don’t have the money and are mad that you’re selling. Can I get an amen from everyone?
Speaker 5: Amen…
Brooke: Those are not our people. There is a woman right now sitting in her house wishing that she could talk to someone instead of eat everything that she hoarded from the grocery store, right? That’s your person. Go find her. Let her know you can help. She’s all in, you just let her know you can help.
Speaker 5: Awesome, thanks.
Brooke: Alright, you got it. Alright, my friends, well that turned into a themed call, which I love. I love it when everyone’s kind of dealing with the same thing and we set it up that way. I love it. I’m going to post this to the podcast because so many people need to hear this. Thank you so much for everyone that asked for coaching. I love you guys so much. I’m doing another coaching call in the next couple of days. I’m all in. I’m going to coach you all.
If you don’t get coached live, it doesn’t matter at all. Listen to everyone else that’s being coached and apply it to your life. If you really need coaching, sign up with your coach. Get a one to one coaching session, all of you. It’s super important right now.
Don’t just say, “Oh, I’ll do it myself. I’ll just write it down.” Get coaching. It’s already included. You’re already getting it. It’s already a benefit. Go to your coaches, okay. You’ve got to get your thoughts out of your mind so you can hear them back from your coach.
Alright, my friends, have the most beautiful amazing day.
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