Moving Forward 5

Welcome to The Life Coach School Podcast, where it’s all about real clients, real problems and real coaching. And now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.

Well hello my friends and welcome to Moving Forward 5. I wanted to let you know that we're going to do a Moving Forward 6 and then I have a regular episode for you on Thursday called Pre-Traumatic Stress and then after that we'll be going back to regular programming.

I am so thankful to my podcast team who has really stepped up during this time to produce a podcast today and really accommodate me in changing my mind and the topics that I want to do. And you know it's interesting I had recorded some podcasts earlier, right? I try to batch and do them ahead of time, and so I had done some podcasts earlier and you may have been able to tell last

Thursday's podcast was recorded before this all went down with the virus and the tone and the way that I was approaching it and thinking about it was just from a different time. It was amazing to like listen to my voice and where I was at and what was going on for me and I just told them, I'm like, "We can't use any of those episodes. The tone is inappropriate for where we are right now."

So we've had to rerecord all of those plus all these daily podcasts that we've added in. So I told them, I said, "Hey, I'm going to do six episodes of Moving Forward and then we'll go back to regular programming for everyone." That does not apply to Scholars, there will be lots of private podcasts in Scholars three days a week still going into your feed if you are in Scholars. So those of you who are really needing the daily support, I want to recommend you join us in Scholars so we can give you the support you need. It's so important right now.

Even those of you who hadn't wanted to commit for the year, I want to recommend that you give yourself at least a month to have some support during this time, if it's feasible for you and it's possible for you, I highly recommend that you get coaching in Scholars weekly and that you join at least one call a week live or listen to the recording in your private podcast feed in your iTunes app.

Okay. I posted a call on Moving Forward 3, which was about me talking about what it's like to be me right now and what I've been going through. Now the reason why I shared that was because so many of my colleagues and my coaches are putting themselves out there in terms of trying to help people get through this and there's no right way to do it. There's no way that we've been prescribed on how to do this.

So I wanted to offer my philosophy and my way of thinking about it is just willingness to make mistakes and willingness to be criticized and willingness to be hated. And what I think is so fascinating is how much that's been compounded during this environment, right?

During this environment, people are angrier and more scared and more blaming than they are normally, and just being able to find a way to have compassion for that and especially compassion for ourselves and not letting ourselves get worn down by the criticism.

And so I just wanted to offer this message from Lisa Hatlestad, she was the one who had posted in the Slack that I read on the podcast yesterday that moved me so much. Her words are just so beautiful. And so this is another post that she made that I wanted to share with you. And I think that it's kind of like a message or an invitation to all of you who are teachers and coaches.

Because a lot of us are feeling a little bit battered right now by our own emotions, right? Our emotions are kicking our ass right now. And so we're trying to coach ourselves through them and then we have the circumstances that we're having to coach ourselves on and the unanticipated kind of backlash of people who can't manage their emotions and they're wanting to blame. And so I wanted to offer her beautiful word.

She says, "Hi Brooke. I've been offline basically for a couple of days because my brain seems to have reached its saturation point for information. I needed a brain break, so I took one." Which by the way I think is a beautiful thing.

"And then this morning I started getting texts about your Moving Forward 4 podcast today and I was like, 'What is this now?' And I listened and I got a bit emotional with you because it touched my heart. But this is really about Moving Forward 3 which autoplayed right after. I just want to say thank you. As someone who has known since she was a girl, that somehow, somehow, she was made to help the world in some way but was terrified her first 48 years to use her own voice to do that in a purposeful way.

And as someone who's a bit of a contrarian and who has been stared at, glared at, eye rolled at, scoffed at, excluded and gossiped about for her alternative way of looking at things and so has just shut the hell up because surely I must have it all wrong, thank you. Thank you for going first. I know that there are others who went even before you, but for me it was you. Thank you."

I can't even tell you how much I needed that. And I have to tell you, I am so blessed by my community and all of the strength and energy that they have been sending my way and the thank yous and the appreciation and the care that they've taken the time to give to me, which just feeds all of my energy to move forward.

But also, to all the teachers who are out there trying to do their best right now. It's rough out there. It's rough and it's scary for all of us to be experiencing this. And it's hard to hear that a lot of people may be telling you that you're doing it wrong. And this is for doctors and nurses all the way to life coaches and therapists and people are on the sidelines kind of jeering at many of us. And you know what? That's okay. I totally get it.

But I just wanted to take this moment to kind of acknowledge that when you take the time to reach out to someone and acknowledge them and appreciate them, it always makes the world better and more loving. And so what I wanted to encourage you to do is that. I want you to think about the people in your life whom you love and whom you appreciate and whom you care about and find them.

And what I want to recommend is that you find people that may not be acknowledged right now, that may not be appreciated right now and may not be asked, "How are you doing right now?" Think about the people in your life that you want to offer that to. And it doesn't even have to be related to what's going on, but just sending out that appreciation. What I notice is when someone sends me a note of appreciation, it makes me want to send someone else a note of appreciation. It makes me want to acknowledge other people on what they're doing and how they're going about their lives and how they're feeling and use my skills to be able to offer that to them.

So in this podcast, I just wanted to kind of offer you a process for doing that. I love the position that I'm in right now in so many ways. I love the call on my work right now. I feel ready to go and help and I know that I am helping many people manage their minds around this. I also love the position I have put myself in financially in order to help people who need financial help right now and to be able to preserve the finances of the people that are my employees, but also for the people who are desperate for money, to be able to help in that way is a profound experience for me.

And you may not have money to spare where you can help, but you may have other ways that you can help and to give in this time. And I just want to offer that when we give when we feel like we have no control, we immediately feel strengthened.

There's something about the power of offering what you do have, of offering just a kind word of offering love when that's the last thing you want to offer that is empowering. I've noticed this with me when I feel frayed and short on patience or short on love, when I can take the time to kind of refuel myself and go back into myself and build myself up and then offer that, I feel much more strengthened by that.

So today the podcast is very simple and very short, and it's an assignment. Think of five people who you can express love and appreciation to who may not be getting it right now. And don't expect anything back. Don't expect a response.

Maybe it's someone that you haven't talked to in a while. Maybe it's a nurse you knew from back in the day, maybe it's a doctor or maybe it's just a friend who you haven't reached out to in a while just letting them know, "Hey, I'm thinking about you and I love you and I hope you're doing well during this time."

If you do that with five different people, you will be better on the other side of it in so many ways. You will feel a sense of purposefulness and contribution and an expression of love into the world and may be compared to everything else it won't have a huge impact, but it'll have enough of an impact on you. And that what I'm trying to help all of us with is, what can we give? How can we contribute?

Just like Lisa took the time to sit down this morning and write this note to me. She's had enough of podcasts, she's had enough of input, she's had enough of listening. She needed a break and then she took the time to acknowledge me and to say thank you to me. And the impact of that on me is now having a huge impact on you all. And then you all will go out there and put more compassion and love into the world and then the people that receive that from you, that will have an impact.

And that is how the little things that we do, the little acknowledgements, the little notes, the energy that we put out, we assume that people know we love them. We assume that people know that we appreciate them and maybe they do, but hearing it again during this time, super powerful. So please go out, pick five people, go out there and express your love and appreciation and gratitude to them and see the ripple effect in the world. We can't control everything, but we can control that. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow.

Hey, if you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out Self-Coaching Scholars. It's my monthly coaching program where we take all this material and we apply it. We take it to the next level and we study it. Join me over at the TheLifeCoachSchool.com/join. Make sure you type in the TheLifeCoachSchool.com/join. I'd love to have you join me in Self-Coaching Scholars. See you there.