Ep #345: Fierce Love

You are listening to The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo, episode number 345.

Welcome to The Life Coach School Podcast, where it’s all about real clients, real problems and real coaching. And now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.

Hello, my friends. This is going to be a very short but very profound podcast episode. This episode is going to be about one of the most intense experiences of love that I’ve ever had in my life. And it just happened two days ago. And it was completely unexpected.

And it’s had such a profound impact on me that, since it happened, I’ve burst into tears probably four times just thinking about it. So, I want to give you a little bit of back story so you can know what led up to it and how I experienced it. And then, I’d also like to give you an opportunity to learn how to have this experience of your own.

So, about – I’m going to say – six months ago, seven months ago, I had an experience where I was being attacked online. There were a lot of lies being said about me, lots of untruths, and a lot of people coming after me and criticizing me and saying horrible things about me online. And it was terrible and I had a really good friend of mine come out and say some things that weren’t true in a way that was really derogatory and heartbreaking for me.

And during that time, it was actually quite pubic for the people that are on social media. And during that time, I had many people reaching out to me privately and telling me that they loved me and telling me that they supported me and that they knew that what was being said were lies and they were sorry that I was being attacked in such a public way.

And of course, I appreciated all the people that had reached out to me. Also, during that time, there were very few people that publicly defended me and acknowledged that what was being said about me were lies. And I want to acknowledge those people because I feel like it’s really challenging to put yourself out there, put your reputation out there when someone else is being attacked.

The last thing you want to do is have those attackers then look at you and start attacking you. And that’s what happens when you defend people that they’re attacking. You go into battle with them, and they’re going to start attacking you.

One of my friends that did this – and others of you who did this publicly know who you are and I appreciate you. But I wanted to talk about Jody Moore, who is one of my friends and colleagues that, during this time, wrote a post that defended my work and my reputation and countered the lies that were being said about me.

And this is a woman who relies on her reputation, relies on her business and her public brand to feed her family of four and support her livelihood. And she came out very publicly and really defended the work that we’re doing in the world and the way that it was being misconstrued on the internet was unacceptable to her. And she noted that and wrote about it and talked about it.

And at the time, it was so important to me. It meant so much to me and I appreciated it so deeply. It moved me in just a really significant way.

And I hadn’t seen Jody in about a year probably. And she came to Austin a couple of days ago and I wanted to tell her in person how much I had appreciated her kind of putting her ass on the line for me and defending our work.

And so, we went to lunch and I looked her in the eyes and I just told her, “Hey, listen, I really appreciate that post. I really appreciate you coming out and talking about our work in a way that could be heard and I really appreciate you.”

And the way she responded and what she said after is the most intense love I’ve ever experienced. And listen, I have been loved. I get hundreds, literally hundreds of emails of people telling me they love me, of people telling me my work has changed their lives.

When I coach people, when I pull them onto Zoom on Scholars, people tell me that they love me. I have been loved well. I was loved very well by my family, my children, by my friends. But this moment was the most profound experience of love I’ve experienced and so unexpected. And what she said – it’s going to make me cry, so stay with me folks.

What she said was that during that time I was being attacked publicly, some of her colleagues and students of the Life Coach School had reached out to her and said, “Hey, it looks like Brooke might be cancelled here. It looks like people are attacking her. Maybe we should distance ourselves from her. Maybe we should take our Life Coach School logos off our sites. Maybe we should distance ourselves from the Life Coach School.”

And what Jody said to them is, “If Brooke Castillo’s going down, I’m going down with her.” And she told me that she had said this and she just said it kind of casually, like it’s what she just really believed. And I’ve been thinking about it since, like why it touched me so much.

And I think it comes down to this. I think it’s easy to say I love you. When someone’s helped you make a lot of money, when someone has given you a tool that can change your life and make you feel better, when someone has believed in you and motivated you, it’s easy to love them. It’s easy to tell them that you love them. It’s easy to align with them and publicly proclaim that you’re with them.

But when your reputation is on the line, when your livelihood is on the line, do you love then? And do you love publicly? And are you willing to risk your reputation and who you are for the love you have? And I admire her so much for having said that and doing that, not just for me. Although, of course, it’s moved me so much.

And the thing is, Jody didn’t realize at that time that we weren’t going to get canceled, that in fact that would be our most successful month we’ve ever had in the history of the Life Coach School and that we’d have more people sign up and reach out to us and support us because of how we handled that situation than ever before and that our business would continue to grow at an incredibly rapid rate.

Jody didn’t know that. Jody didn’t know I wasn’t going to be canceled. It’s happened. You look around, people are being canceled for the craziest stuff. But she didn’t know that. She said, “If Brooke Castillo’s going down, I’m going down with her,” and put her ass on the line for me.

I was trying to think of who I love that much. Who am I willing to risk my reputation for? Who am I willing to put everything on the line for? Who do I believe in enough to tell them I love them and to really mean it, to risk something for them? That is some serious love, my friends. Are we courageous enough to love that fiercely?

I know, for sure, what I learned is I want to love more like Jody Moore loves. She is my example of what is possible. I think she’s an example to all of us because we’re all afraid. We’re all afraid in our lives.

We’re afraid of being hurt, of being ridiculed, or being shamed. But how many of us are courageous enough to overcome all of that fear, to love. I don’t know that I do that well enough. I want to do it better. I want to do it like Jody does it. I want to learn from her.

And my guess is that many of you who listen to this podcast, who want to learn how to love unconditionally, who want to learn how to love fiercely and courageously could learn something from Jody Moore.

I know I can. And when she said that to me, we were just at lunch with some friends. I don’t know if she knew, in that moment, how much that would change my life for her to say that to me. Because I want to be the best version of myself. I want to be the highest quality version of myself.

And when I see it demonstrated in the world, I want to emulate it. When I feel someone love me like the way Jody Moore loved me, I want to love more people like that. I want to love courageously and fiercely. I want to be willing to go down with my friends whom I love. Not just tell them that I love them when it’s convenient. Not disassociate when I think it might hurt my reputation, even if that person has helped me tremendously.

I know we have a tendency to want to hide and be safe and protect ourselves. We’re willing to love privately, “But please don’t attack me…”

Are you willing to go into battle with the people that you love? To stand up for them when you believe in them and when you know that what’s being said isn’t true? Or are we only loving and aligning with people when it serves us?

My answer to that question is not clear for me. I don’t feel that I’m loving at the quality and at the level that she is. Because to experience it, to experience someone saying something like that in these times, when the danger is real and the risk is high and the price is incredible, to be willing to make that statement and to follow through on it and to take action an demean it, it’s extraordinary.

So, I wanted to share Jody Moore with y’all. I wanted to encourage you all to follow her, to learn from her, to practice what she preaches. Because she certainly does.

Jody Moore has told me that she loves me many times. She has given me many gifts and expressed her love and her friendship to me. But two days ago, she completely changed my life.

She demonstrated love I have never experienced. And you just never know, right? You never know how much loving someone will impact them. She’s literally made me a better human since two days ago. She’s made me think harder about how I want to show up in this world and who I want to be. I want to be more like her. And not only that. Of course, I just appreciate her for being my friend, for loving me, and for being true.

If you want to learn from Jody Moore, go to jodymoore.com. I know that’s where I will be. Jody is a true example of what is possible. We all have a lot to learn from her. And I for one just want to say thank you, Jody, for being you, for loving me, and for showing us all how it’s done. Have a good week, everyone. Bye.

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